by Sophia Gray
“I know... and you are right,” Vance said. “That was the plan... at first. But then I got to know you, and it became real, I promise you that.” Vance looked at her with sorrow. “Everything since our first night together was true. I didn’t know your father would barge in on our wedding, and I was planning on telling you everything, the whole truth, the minute we got home. I wasn’t going to go through with the plan. I wanted to run away with you, Tess. I wanted to be with you.”
He had taken a step towards the bed, and Teresa saw him trembling.
“You could have told me before and trusted me to marry you anyway,” she whispered. Vance stopped dead and looked at his feet again.
“I-I was too afraid. I was scared you would leave, and I’d never be able to find you again. And the idea of living without you... was unbearable,” he stammered, and silence fell over the room. Teresa could not look at Vance any longer, it hurt too much, so she looked directly at her father.
“In what world did you think I would go back, father?” she asked. Jimmy looked at her proudly.
“It is yer place, Teresa. Ye have to go back,” he repeated stubbornly, but before she could say anything, Vance cut in.
“For heaven’s sake, Jimmy. Be honest with her for just one damn time!”
Her father clenched his fists and took a deep breath. “I’m dying, Teresa,” he blurted out. Teresa did not even flinch. “I have lung cancer.”
He told Teresa everything he had told Vance before: about his illness and how he wanted someone in the family to inherit the club. “I don’t want me life’s efforts to end up in someone else’s hands, Teresa. Ye have to understand!” he begged, finally.
Teresa was frozen. Her father had ignored her for years, practically her whole life, using her as a pawn to increase his power. Then he had followed her, spied on her, and sent men to chase her down and make her come back home. She had thought that it was because of his twisted sense of property, but it was not even her he cared about: it was the damn club, and she’d had enough.
“I want you out of my life forever,” she said, her voice cold as ice. She didn’t flinch when her father looked at her, hurt. “What Vance and I decide to do when you die is up to us. Who knows – we might want to take over the club, but if not, that’s how it will go. I don’t ever want to see your face, again.” She pointed one shaking finger at the door. “Now please leave and never come near me or Vance again. If I ever see you sneaking around again, I will personally burn down the club and everything you ever cared about.”
Teresa glared at her father and did not look away. They stood staring at each other in a silent battle for control until Jimmy lowered his eyes and abandoned the room. Silence fell over her and Vance.
For a moment, neither of them dared to move. She was conscious that she had said “Vance and I.” She had included Vance in her future life, and she wasn’t exactly sure what that meant or where that left Vance. Did that mean she wanted to give their marriage a chance?
She didn’t know what to feel. He had played with her feelings and her trust, and she could not forget that. How could she trust him again?
Vance was the first one to break the silence.
“I am so sorry,” he whispered. Teresa looked at him. He looked distraught and broken. She knew she wasn’t ready to trust him or talk to him again. It hurt to even look at him.
“Leave,” she said, and it pained her to see the sadness in his eyes, but she needed time to think. “Come back tomorrow, but please leave now.”
Vance did not say anything else. He turned around and slowly left the room.
Teresa rested her head against the pillows and tears filled her eyes. She was so tired. Anna entered the room again and looked at her with her big, blue eyes full of concern. She had some explaining to do, and this time she would not leave anything out: she would tell Anna all about her past, her relationship with her father, and the real reason she married Vance. Her friend deserved to know, and Teresa hoped she would forgive her for not telling her until now.
Chapter 4
Vance
Vance woke up the next day feeling exhausted. He could barely sleep and the nights he had spent at the hospital had not been restful either. His body felt sore all over, and his head ached badly that his breakfast consisted of a mug filled with black coffee and two aspirins.
He took a long, hot shower, standing under the heavy streams hoping he would drown in it, but when he stepped out and got dressed, he felt as miserable as before. He was still wrapping his head around the events of the previous day. Teresa waking up and talking to her father, Teresa telling him to leave, Teresa telling him to come back the next day.
Teresa.
What did that mean? Did the fact that she was willing to see him again mean she would forgive him? His heartbeats quickened just thinking about it, and he knew that if she was willing to give him a second chance he could not screw it up. He had to do everything right and stop keeping secrets – and he wanted to start with the charity kitchen, Silver Spoons for Charity.
He had called Peter while Teresa was unconscious, explaining the situation, but he knew that he deserved to know the truth about him. Even if that meant he could never go back to the place he had grown to love so much.
Peter and some of the workers were already there when he went in, and he spent the first fifteen minutes answering his colleagues’ worried questions about Teresa.
“And what are you doing here?” Peter finally asked him. “Why aren’t you with Teresa?”
Vance swallowed hard before answering. He felt all their eyes piercing him, and he knew that it would be more painful than he had thought.
“I am on my way to the hospital now. She did not want me there yesterday,” he confessed.
“Why?” Peter was puzzled. And Vance told them everything, at least everything he could tell. His friends gasped and looked at him in horror and shock, but Vance knew he deserved those looks – he deserved to be seen as what he really was: a horrible person.
“I hope that Teresa finds it in her heart to forgive you.” Peter was the first to speak. His eyes were filled with disappointment, and it was too much for him to handle – he could not look at the man that had been so great to him, seeing him with different eyes. Vance gazed at the floor.
“So do I. And I hope you can all forgive me too,” he said quietly and turned around. He knew that the best he could do was to give them a couple of days to process everything, and now that he had come clean to them, he was aching to see Teresa.
Vance made another stop on his way to the hospital and entered a florist shop where he bought a bouquet of daisies. The man at the shop offered him a card, but he refused. What would he say on it? Get well soon? Anything he could say would be too hypocritical, so he decided to give Teresa the flowers and tell her the rest himself.
The trip to the hospital, although it was close to the city, felt like the longest journey of his life. Every step he took was drawing him nearer to what could be the end of his relationship with Teresa, and for him, it was like walking into hell. It was like purgatory. He felt like a condemned man making his way to the gallows, and when he finally got to the hospital, he took a deep breath and tried to maintain his composure. He knocked on the door before he heard Teresa say to come in.
“Hi, Teresa. How are you feeling today?” he asked in a low voice, looking at her sheepishly. Teresa was sitting on her bed and had the remains of her breakfast on the table. Anna was at her side and she gave him a very hard look. He realized that she knew everything that had happened and that she probably hated his guts, something he did not blame her for.
“Hi. Better than yesterday,” Teresa answered dryly. Vance took a step towards her and handed her the flowers.
“These are for you.” He hoped she would like them. He thought he had seen her mouth twitch, but it was too quick to tell. Anna got to her feet and took the flowers from him, putting them in an empty vase by the window.
“Thank you
.” Teresa looked at him and he felt her gaze, giving him a long, hard look. “Anna, could you please give us a few minutes?” she asked her friend with a softer tone than the one she had used on Vance.
Anna looked at the both of them, clearly in doubt, and Teresa had to press on. “Please? I’ll be okay.”
That seemed to be good enough for Anna, who took her bag and passed by Vance without giving him a second glance. She closed the door rather loudly, making a point that she did not agree with leaving them alone, and silence descended.
Vance shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He knew he should say something, but he honestly did not know what to say. What would be the right thing to say to her? That he was sorry? That he loved her?
Everything would sound fake to her, so he waited for Teresa to make the first move. She took her time before opening her mouth again, but Vance waited patiently in silence.
“Sit, please,” she said, looking away from him. Vance took a seat clumsily in the chair beside the bed and opened his mouth. Nothing came out, so he closed it again.
“Why? Why did you do it?”
Teresa’s question was so straightforward and her voice was full of such raw, anguished pain that Vance wished he were dead. He wished he could just vanish through the ground, so he did not have to face the pain he had caused the only person he had ever cared about. But he could not, and she deserved to know the truth, so he took a deep breath.
“I was lost,” he started. Teresa looked up and looked into his eyes. She needed to see that his words were genuine.
Vance trembled, but clenched his fists and went on. “I was an outcast, a nobody. I had no future and had been stumbling about since I was a teenager. That’s when I found the Grim Rebels. You had already left, and I think that is why your father hand-picked me. I didn’t even get the band’s tattoo at that point. Jimmy came to me one night when I was drinking in the club with some others, showed me your pictures, and told me that if I married you, I would inherit the club. Where else would I get a deal like that? So, of course, I said yes. I was stupid. I was scared to refuse.”
Once he started speaking, he was relieved to discover that every word came easier than the previous one. He felt as if he had lifted a burden off his soul, and went on with more energy than before.
“So, I came here and tried to get close to you. I learned what you liked and did everything I could to make you like me. When you agreed to go on a date with me, I thought everything was going well, according to the plan – but there was something that I didn’t expect. I was falling in love with you,” he confessed.
Teresa’s eyes pierced him so deep he was sure she could read his mind. She did not say anything, so he continued talking.
“That first night, when your father appeared at your place, I got carried away and told him we were getting married. That wasn’t part of the plan, believe me – I had been so focused on getting to know you, on falling for you, that I had not reported back to him or given any updates, and I suppose he went to your place to check up on both of us. When I saw him there yelling at you, I saw what he really was and I knew I could never drag you to his club. I wanted you to be truly free from him, and if by marrying you I would help you out, then I would. But that same day, when I proposed again in the kitchen – and when I proposed again at your spot, I had already made up my mind to never go back to the club. I wanted to cut ties with them and run away with you.”
He felt his sore throat after talking so much.
“Then why did you never tell me the truth?” Teresa asked him. Vance closed his eyes for a moment. Because I was a coward. I was too afraid to lose you. That was why.
“I feared you would leave me. I wanted to tell you, believe me – but I have always been a damn coward when it came to what really mattered. So, I hid it from you and decided to tell you after we got married. The idea of you leaving me was so terrifying that I fooled myself into thinking that it would be okay to tell you after it. I know it was foolish and that I should have told you the truth from the very beginning – but I didn’t know whether you were marrying me out of love or just out of convenience, and I didn’t want to find out, either.” He was rambling. That one fear had haunted him for days.
“Was anything you told me true? About your family and your past? About you?” Teresa asked. He could feel the sadness in her and his hand moved to grab hers without thinking. When she did not flinch, or move it away, he felt encouraged.
“Everything! The only thing I hid from you was the stuff about the Grim Rebels, but everything else was the truth. About my father, my mother, and my brother’s accident, about me and about everything else. Please, believe me!” he begged. “I never wanted to hurt you, Teresa. I’m so sorry. Please, please believe me.”
Teresa looked at him and a faint but uncertain smile spread across her face.
“I... I think I do,” she whispered. Vance felt like crying, but he held on and smiled at her.
“I love you, Tess. I know that one thing is true, truer than anything else in my life. And if you give me a chance, if you can forgive me, I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and proving to you that I love you more than anything in this world. I will never ever lie to you again. Please.” His heart was racing.
“I’m still hurt, Vance,” Teresa said quietly. “But if what you said is true, then I think I can forgive you. It’ll be hard some days, but we will take it slow.” Teresa gave him a small smile.
Vance felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders and his body felt five hundred times lighter. He nodded fervently in agreement. He understood that, and he would prove to her that she would never regret that decision.
Chapter 5
Teresa
Teresa was relieved to see that he was ready to accept her terms. What Vance had just told her... she wanted to believe everything was the truth. She knew that her father was manipulative enough to offer him such a deal and who would have refused that offer? She could not blame him for taking it, but she had been so stupid as to fall in love with him and she had opened up to him. The pain she felt from the lies and betrayal was still raw. She couldn’t just forget about it, and they would need to take things slowly if they wanted to make their marriage work.
“I...” Teresa started, wandering off mid-sentence. “I had given up on men long ago. Every man that I dated used me and had been as abusive and manipulative as my father, and I did not want that in my life.” Vance looked at her in silence, encouraging her to continue. “That was why, in the beginning, I didn’t want to date you. It was easier to just be alone. But you were different – you treated me well, like an equal, and you dazzled me with your charms.” She smiled slightly.
“I have many of those,” Vance joked doubtfully, and Teresa laughed a little.
“Your sense of humor was one,” she said. “The point is, that when you asked me to marry you after our first date, I did not say yes out of love: it was to get rid of my father, and I thought that if things did not work out in the end, I would just file for a divorce and get rid of you as well.” Teresa saw the pain in Vance’s eyes, but she had to be truthful. “That was at first, though, because the more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with you. And when you proposed at the lookout I forgot everything about my plan, about my father, and I threw caution to the wind. I realized I loved you and I wanted to spend my life with you.” Vance remained silent, and she went on.
“The point is, I also had my own secrets and hidden agenda, and I can understand what you did. What I can’t forgive so easily is that you never told me the truth. I know you were afraid... but you should have trusted me,” she said, looking at him hard. Vance’s face showed regret.
“That is why I can forgive you, but right now we can’t go back to what we had before. It will take time. Are you willing to take it slowly?” she asked. “I may be difficult at times, and I don’t trust you completely just yet – but I want to work at it, if you’re willing.”
Th
at was her offer. He could either take it or leave it, but she would not negotiate. She had thought a lot about it when Vance had left the day before, and she really did want to give it a try – even if Anna was completely against it – but it had to be on her terms, or it would not happen at all. And as heartbreaking as that would be, she couldn’t be with him like this.
“Yes. We will do it your way. I will do whatever you need me to do until you trust me again,” Vance said. “I love you.”
Teresa’s heart skipped a beat, and she smiled, relieved. “Well then, now I think you should leave before Anna comes back and throws you out of the window,” Teresa joked, and Vance got to his feet. “Will you come back later?”
“I’ll be back later this afternoon,” he promised.
“I’ll be here,” she said with a humorless smile and watched him leave the room with a warm feeling inside, a feeling not even Anna could extinguish when she stormed into the room, angry because she had talked to that scum that calls himself your husband. But Teresa did not care – Anna would understand eventually. Teresa was too happy at the thought of giving her marriage a chance... of giving Vance a chance.
She spent another week in the hospital before she was released and Vance went to see her every day, at least twice. He went every morning and always brought something with him: another book, breakfast, something from her apartment that she had said she needed, and one day he even brought flowers for Anna, in an attempt to win her over. Teresa found that extremely funny and knew that Anna was starting to warm up to him again.