by S. R. Grey
Chase, attentive man that he is, insists on tucking me in on the sofa before he leaves. He kisses me silly, too, until I’m too sleepy to move my lips with his.
“Good night, Kay,” he whispers in my ear. “Sweet dreams.”
I mumble something incoherent and hold on to the comfort of feeling so loved and contented, and then I drift off to sleep.
I wake up disoriented without Chase by my side. We sleep together every night, and this change in routine has me all thrown off.
I get back on track quickly, though, especially when I stretch and think about last night, the time spent in Chase’s bed. I can’t help but giggle and curl my toes. But then I suddenly remember it’s a weekday and I have to go to work, so my euphoria subsides.
“Ugh,” I mumble, before I reluctantly get up.
Before I do anything, I check in on Cassie. She’s still fast asleep.
Quietly as I can, I shower and dress. I then toast a bagel to eat on the way to the church. A half hour later, I’m at my desk in the rectory, fulfilling my duties as temporary secretary at Holy Trinity.
Any other day, I’d be counting the hours until lunch, anxiously awaiting noon so I could go grab a bite to eat down at the local diner with Chase. But Chase called as I was driving in to work and told me he talked with Father Maridale, and considering what’s going on with Will and Cassie, the priest who’s in charge of things around here gave Chase the day off.
Chase also works for Holy Trinity, fixing things up around the church grounds, including at the grade school next door. I work at the school as a first grade teacher during the school year. The secretary gig is just for the summer, which I can’t believe is more than halfway over.
Suddenly, my cell buzzes. It’s Chase.
“I miss you” is the first thing out of his mouth.
“You’re too cute,”
“Cute?” he says sourly, his tone mock-offended. “Shit, babe, I must have done something wrong last night if cute is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of me.”
He does have a point; his actions last night were definitely not definable as “cute.”
With that in mind, I quickly amend, “Hmm, okay… How ’bout we go with sexy, strong, take-charge, orgasm-inducing—”
“Okay, okay.” He chuckles. “So, I was thinking—”
“That could be dangerous,” I interrupt, teasing.
“Ha-ha. You sure are in a good mood today.”
“Uh, I wonder why.”
I hope he detects the still-satisfied-from-last-night smile in my voice. I suppose he does, when, a second later, in a low voice, he rasps, “I wish you were here right now, and not stuck at work.”
I start to whisper back a sexy response, but then I hear Will and Cassie in the background on Chase’s end of the line.
“Ugh,” I groan. “Do we need to put this discussion on hold?”
“Yeah, I think so,” he replies, sighing.
I smoothly change the subject. “So how are things going today?”
Chase informs me everyone is getting along, and then he says, “So, back to my idea. I was thinking maybe we could take Will and Cassie to the drive-in out on Route 7 tonight. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a great idea.”
“Yeah,” Chase says, “It should work out well. That big action blockbuster we were planning to take Will to is still playing.”
“Perfect,” I reply.
We intended to take Will to see that particular movie, before the original plan of him coming to Ohio went awry.
“Hey,” I say hesitantly, “I kind of wanted to run something by you.”
I’m quiet, and Chase prompts, “What is it, babe?”
I take a deep breath, exhale slowly. “Chase, I know I should stay out of it, but I can’t stop thinking about the situation with Cassie and her stepdad.”
“Hey, I hear ya,” he scoffs. “It’s a fucked up mess, no doubt about it.”
“Well,” I continue, “I was thinking maybe I could try to talk to Cassie about it. She seems to like me. Maybe she’ll open up some.” I sigh. “Anyway, it’s worth a shot. If she starts by talking to me, then maybe she’ll eventually feel comfortable enough to tell her mom what’s been happening back in Vegas. Mrs. Sutter needs to know why her daughter ran away.”
“You’re right,” Chase agrees. “Your idea is a good one, Kay. Hell, if anyone can get her to open up, it’s you. In fact, I’d put money on it.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I say, pleased that Chase believes in me so much.
I hear a noise outside the double doors leading into the office. When I glance that way, I see Father Maridale is about to come in. His white hair and black frock stand out in stark contrast through the tinted glass.
“I have to go,” I whisper to Chase.
Father Maridale steps into the office just as I press End.
He’s a nice guy, and he smiles kindly as he walks over to my desk. Nodding to my mostly clear desktop, he says, “Not much going on today, huh?”
“No, not really. Just some calls for you.” I hand him a few slips of paper containing the details of the messages I took down for him.
“You can leave early today, if you’d like,” he says distractedly while he flips through the slips of paper.
I am up for that, so I thank him and start to gather my stuff. Father remains next to my desk, though, so I know he has something more to say.
He sets down his messages and inquires, “Chase getting along okay with his brother? He sounded a little stressed out when I spoke to him this morning.”
I lean back in my chair and confess to him that things were a little rough when Will and Cassie first arrived.
“Chase and Will had it out,” I admit. “But they’re getting along great now.”
Father Maridale nods, seemingly deep in thought. He knows all about Chase’s past, and he’s fully aware of how important it is to Chase to rebuild his relationship with his brother, a relationship that was shattered four years ago.
Will refused to speak to Chase the entire time he was in prison. Will was angry, just like everyone else. Too many people gave up on Chase Gartner. But not Father Maridale. He always believed in him. He was one of only two people in this town willing to give Chase a second chance. I was the other, but not at first. Not until I met Chase—through a chance run-in, quite literally. It was at that moment, when I saw truth in his eyes, that I realized giving Chase a second chance was the right thing to do. Before that day, I had made the same assumptions and cast the same judgments as everyone else.
Since then, though, I’ve since learned a lot about forgiveness and starting over.
Sometimes you have to give others a chance to redeem themselves, like how I’m striving to do with my mom. I’m hoping to find some middle ground with the woman who disowned me four years ago. I have to admit, however, it’s not easy.
I sigh loudly, and as though Father Maridale can read my mind, he asks, “Is your mother still keeping up with you like she promised?”
“Yes.”
It’s the truth. She’s been calling and keeping in touch, to nobody’s bigger surprise than my own. See, my mother blamed me for my little sister’s death until just recently. It’s ironic that a couple of days after Sarah’s funeral, my mother cast me out of her home…and her heart. But almost four years later to the day, she allowed me back in. Last Friday, she sought me out at the little cemetery behind the church where Sarah is buried.
My mother wants to start anew, rebuild our relationship. But after all she has taken, I only have so much to give. She tells me she wants to learn about my life. But there are so many things she’s already missed—my graduation from college, my first day as a teacher, all the highs and lows I’ve experienced. She’s missed all that and more, and it’s not so easy to dig back in time and resurrect the past.
“But I’m trying,” I say to Father Maridale, answering my own question to myself, not one he has pos
ed.
Father’s pale-brown eyes fill with compassion. He knows me as well as he knows Chase, and that means he’s aware of all my good and all my bad.
He places his hand on mine. “Forgiveness may come in time, Kay, or it may not. I can counsel you in one direction, but only you can decide on your path.”
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “It scares me. I don’t even know how to take the first step with my mother.”
“You’ve already taken it,” he assures me. “Just the fact you’ve allowed her back into your life—albeit limitedly—proves your heart wants to forgive.”
“Maybe that’s true,” I say, “but what’s the next step?”
“Give your mother an opportunity to earn your forgiveness.”
I nod, contemplating his words, and he adds, “Do you find her overtures thus far to be sincere?”
I think it over. “Yeah, I think so.” I pause, and then I admit what’s really bothering me. “It’s just, she’s missed so much, Father. And I don’t know how to let it all go…”
As I trail off, he sighs. “We can’t move forward, Kay, when we’re staring back at the past. Try focusing on the here and now. Build for a possible future with your mother. Give her a chance to be there when you need her most. Who knows, maybe she’ll come through.”
“Yeah,” I say slowly, “I guess.”
I hope he’s right, and I thank Father Maridale for his wise words, then I say, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”
He pats my hand reassuringly. “That’s why I’m here, my child.”
Father Maridale then leaves me to my thoughts. And what I’m thinking is that maybe I’ve been making this far more complicated than it has to be.
The past cannot be changed; that is a fact.
So do I keep staring back at it? Do I allow myself to be held captive by what’s behind me, like I’ve done in the past?
Or do I try to do as Father Maridale has counseled—focus on moving forward?
I’ve already taken the first step, right?
I gather up my things and decide to look to the future, which requires opening my heart…to my mother.
Chapter Three
Chase
The old drive-in out on Route 7 is packed. But we luck out and find a spot smack dab in the center of the front row.
I back my truck into the narrow space and shut down the ignition. “Okay,” I say, “let’s get set up in the back.”
Kay, who’s next to me, and Will and Cassie, back in the extended cab area, reply a chorus of “okay” and “cool.” Minutes later we are standing by the bed of the truck.
I place my hand on a stout pole with an old-time speaker that appears clunky and outdated, leading me to conclude it probably barely works.
“We won’t need it,” Kay says when she catches me frowning at the antiquated sound system. “I grabbed a portable radio from your gram’s old bedroom. We’ll use that.”
“Good thinking.” I lean over and kiss Kay’s cheek.
She smiles and passes the radio up to Will, who is standing in the bed of the truck, taking in the parked-up lot. “Sure is busy here tonight,” he comments.
“True that,” Cassie says as she jumps up to stand next to him. She starts unfolding one of three big blankets we packed for the evening.
I remind Will about the radio. He crouches down, sets the radio up, then gets to work on tuning in the correct station. “There,” he says after a few seconds, “all set.”
Cassie is still messing with laying out the blankets, so I say to Will, “Hey, you want to come with me to the concession stand, grab some popcorn and drinks?”
“Yeah, sure.” Will hops down from the bed of the truck.
Kay shoots me a knowing glance. She knows what I’m up to. I’m trying to give her time alone with Cassie so they’ll have a chance to talk, bond, whatever.
Cassie offers Kay a hand when she notices her trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to climb up into the bed of the truck without flashing everyone. Her dress is kind of short, so let’s just say it’s kind of an amusing challenge.
When Kay and Cassie start giggling, I nudge Will and say, “Looks like our girls are getting along great.”
“Yeah,” Will says, sounding pleased. “It’s cool they like each other. Cassie mentioned that Kay’s easy to talk with. She thinks she’s really nice.” He play-punches my arm and adds, “So, how’d you land a classy chick like that, anyway?”
I call him a dick, and we pretend to spar as we start down to the squat cinder block building with the old-fashioned “concession stand” sign. We spend a minute or two just acting like typical guys, but when we knock it off, I tell him the story of how I met Kay.
After I give him an abbreviated version of events, I say, “It’s kind of crazy, but we more or less found love in the parking lot.”
“Sounds like the title to a bad country song, dude,” Will jokes.
“Yeah, it does,” I agree, laughing.
After a beat, Will says in a more serious tone, “So you, like, literally ran into her?”
“She ran into me,” I clarify.
“Lucky you,” he says.
“You got that right, bro,” I reply.
Right before we reach the concession stand, Will slows to a stop. He lowers his gaze, and I turn to him. “What’s up?”
Kicking at the gravel, he quietly says, “I was just wondering if you have to go back to work tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“That sucks,” Will says. “Tomorrow’s going to be boring out at the house without you around. I mean…Cassie will be there, yeah, but I’ve been having a good time hanging with you.”
I’m flattered and touched by my brother’s words. Shit, he actually wants to spend more time with me.
Suddenly, I have an idea. “Why don’t you come to work with me? Father Maridale has been on my ass lately to get started on a mural over at the school. But I keep coming up with a major blank on what to paint.”
Will’s interest is piqued; I see it in his expression.
“Whatever I paint,” I continue, “it has to be something kid-oriented. Anyway, you’re good with cartoon characters. You know I think your comic book is amazing, right?”
Will nods once, his cheeks reddening. He has nothing to be embarrassed about, though. He’s been working on creating a comic book line, and from what he’s showed me thus far, it’s incredible.
“So, come with me tomorrow,” I say, “help me come up with something for the mural.”
Will’s green eyes brighten. “You mean, like, paint with you?”
“Yeah, why not?”
Little bro nods slowly, like he’s really thinking this thing through. “Yeah,” he says at last, “I’m down with that.”
“Cool,” I reply.
My brother has art in his blood like I do, even if his artwork is different. I have the ability to sketch anything, just as it is, whereas Will’s best with distorting stuff, turning people and things into caricatures and cartoons, like the characters in his futuristic and war-torn Las Vegas comic book. The hero in his story is a badass character named Champion. Kay swears up and down that this Champion dude is a comic book version of me. I don’t know about that, but I do know if Will actually based his hero on me, I am humbled. It’s been a long fucking time since Will has viewed me as any sort of a good guy.
When we return to the truck, popcorn and sodas in hand, the movie is just starting. Kay whispers something to me quickly, before the four of us make ourselves comfortable on the blankets in the back of the truck.
The opening scene is an action-packed, testosterone-fueled car chase, complete with explosions. Needless to say, Will and I are pretty much engrossed within minutes. Kay and Cassie, on the other hand, are…not.
“Ugh, this is such a guy’s movie,” Cassie mumbles to Kay when yet another building blows up onscreen. At least ten have been flattened in the first forty minutes.<
br />
“They don’t know what’s good, do they, bro?” Will yells over to me.
Kay and Cassie, seated between us, simultaneously turn to Will and snap, “Shut up.”
Everyone chuckles, and a short while later, I overhear Kay whispering to Cassie, “At least the guy playing the lead is hot.”
I roll my eyes and grab another handful of popcorn.
Cassie replies, “Yeah, I guess he’s okay, but he’s a little too old for me.”
My brother, who is obviously eavesdropping, same as me, leans in close to his girlfriend and kisses her cheek. “Good girl,” he tells her in a completely patronizing tone.
That prompts me to launch a handful of popcorn over the girls’ heads while calling him out. “Don’t be such a Neanderthal, Will.”
“You’re one to talk,” my brother retorts, brows raising.
Kay whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, Neanderthal is good. I like you untamed.”
She squeezes my bicep, and I murmur back, “That’s my girl.”
Will grumbles to Cassie, “See what I mean?”
“Well,” Cassie comments, “it’s obvious you two are related.”
I ignore their chatter and lean in to Kay. Our lips meet, and soon we’re so lost in kissing the hell out of each other that I end up missing the big climactic finish on the screen. Not that I care. I’d rather taste Kay’s sweet lips than watch the movie.
But I’m soon reminded we’re not alone when Will mutters from a few feet away, “Dude, seriously, you two need to get a room.”
Kay smiles against my lips. “Guess that’s our cue to stop.”
“Guess so,” I quip.
Intermission arrives about three minutes after Kay and I quit making out, and as I regroup, which includes discreetly adjusting myself, I hear Cassie saying to Will, “I’m gonna go buy some candy. You want anything?”
In a very loud voice, Will announces he needs more popcorn, since, “Someone wasted a bunch, throwing it at my head.”
His eyes slide to me, and I chuckle but refrain from commenting. Kay, meanwhile, offers to go with Cassie to the concession stand.