Till The Wind Blows Silent

by Bernice Bohnet

  She saw wide, snow-dotted empty fields, it being winter, and cattle grazing. Most of the cattle had red bodies and white faces. Daniel called them Herefords and explained they had originally come from England. Anna thought them quite beautiful. They looked placid and content chewing their cuds.

  Anna saw more than one haystack. These bundles of hay piled high helped feed the cattle.

  The car stopped abruptly and they skidded on the gravel when Daniel swerved to miss a tumble weed the wind had blown across the road. Anna had never seen tumbleweeds back home. She knew what they were from the book she’d read on the train.

  Apparently they’d been particularly prevalent in Canada during the depression of the 1930’s. This decade had been dubbed “The Dirty Thirties,” at least partly because of all the dust piled in the fields during that dry, jobless era.

  Daniel laughed. “I thought it was a gopher. Of course, that’s ridiculous, they hibernate during the winter. They stand up on their back legs and are cute as the dickens. I could never kill one. I won’t kill unless I have to. I saw too much killing in the war.”

  The somber mood continued when they passed a prisoner-of-war camp. Surprisingly, it looked less desolate in the February sunshine than Anna expected.

  The buildings were clean and well cared for and the men working outside appeared strong and healthy, healthier than many of the inhabitants of London. Anna knew it wasn’t at all like the concentration camps in Germany.

  Nonetheless, she felt sorry for the men. They must be lonely being so far away from home. The prisoners looked like clones in their ill-fitting clothes. She sighed, the war ruined both Allied and German lives. Why did God let men like Hitler exist?

  In what felt like only minutes but actually took over half an hour, Anna and Daniel approached the Armstrong homestead.

  It was beautiful. The house was a large, white two-story with a veranda. A trimmed hedge of cotoneasters and an iron gate constituted the landscaping. Behind the house a number of out buildings were visible, all red with white roofs.

  * * *

  The homestead was set in a picturesque valley. Despite herself, Anna couldn’t wait to paint the scene. She would try to do so at dusk when the light would be particularly soft and beautiful.

  Once they entered the yard and exited the car, Anna forgot the beauty of the scene and followed Daniel on legs that shook so much she could hardly walk.

  A large, tan and black dog barked as he rushed up to them. Daniel stopped the animal and scratched behind its ears, “Now Sooty, this is one fine lady. I want you to be friendly to her. We call him Sooty because his nose is black as night.”

  Sooty wagged his tail and stood beside Anna. She reached down and petted him. His hair was thick and soft. She relaxed when Sooty licked her hand. Thank God at least the dog liked her.

  Too quickly, they were on the doorstep and Daniel led his bride into the elegant home. Anna wiped her feet on the welcome mat and recognized the irony in doing so.

  The inside of the house revealed its owners wealth. Lace curtains framed large windows and a Persian-inspired rug partially covered wooden floors. The furniture appeared strong and well-built. In more welcoming circumstances Anna would have exclaimed over the beauty of her surroundings.

  George Armstrong came to greet his new daughter-in-law. He wore gray overalls and a red plaid shirt and a forced smile on his face. “Welcome, daughter. This will be your new home until Daniel can get settled on his farm. I’m sure you’ll be here for at least a year.”

  He cleared his throat. “You seem a little frightened of us and I want you to know you have no reason to. We’re kind, God-fearing people and assume you are too. You have taken the Lord as your Savior, have you not?”

  Oh no, thought Anna, not this again. She stuttered, “Yes.”

  Daniel came to her aid. “Anna is a good, Christian woman.”

  George nodded. “None of our sons are as devout as we’d like. But you can exert a powerful influence. Promise me you’ll try.”

  “I will try.” Anna spoke in a flat voice. Her tone suggested a lack of conviction.

  Anna believed religion often did more bad than good. There’d been the violence of the crusades, the battles between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland, and now the atrocities in Germany with regard to the Jewish nation. Why couldn’t people just quietly believe in God?

  Grace’s entrance into the room interrupted Anna’s thoughts. She wore an unadorned black housedress covered by a starched, white apron. Her hair was styled in its usual severe bun. She looked as elegant as ever.

  She strode to Daniel and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

  “Darling, it’s wonderful to have you back. I missed you when you stayed in town. Of course, I missed you even more when you went to war. I prayed every day you would come home. My prayers were answered. God is good.”

  Grace hugged Daniel close. “You should never have gone to war. The Armstrong’s are pacifists and that is the right way in God’s eyes.” Grace turned to Anna. “I hope you agree.”

  Anna didn’t agree so she said nothing. The tension in the air grew thick as the smoke from George’s recently lit cigar.

  Grace directed her attention to Anna. “Do you pray, dear?”

  Grace’s eyes looked just as cold as they had yesterday and her full lips remained unsmiling. She obviously surmised the answer to her question would be a negative.

  “Yes, I pray,” She spoke with honesty. Anna stepped back from her mother-in-law, repelled by the hatred in the beautiful face. Anna wished Grace would look at her as she had looked at Nancy yesterday; with affection and complete warmth.

  She didn’t want to become a True Religionist. Although she had to admit the concept of starting a new life, a new existence, after being saved must be appealing to a great number of people. Anna was an Anglican and she would feel like a hypocrite if she professed to believe in something she did not.

  “We both prayed a lot when we were trapped in rubble in London. And I prayed when I was in a tank in Normandy. Yet, bad as the war was, I still don’t believe in pacifism. Sometimes it’s necessary to fight for what you believe,” Daniel said in her defence.

  Daniel ended the conversation by grabbing Anna’s suitcase and marching up the stairs to their bedroom. He handled the heavy piece of luggage as if it was as light as a tiny overnight bag. Anna followed close behind.

  * * *

  Daniel stayed in the bedroom, ostensibly to help unpack Anna’s things. Anna appreciated his presence and began to relax a little.

  Their bedroom was as beautiful as the living room. The deep bay window looked out over the vegetable garden. The walls were covered with delicate blue paper. A beautiful brass bed with a blue coverlet dominated the room. It had been Daniel’s and his brothers’ childhood room. Now there was nothing within it to suggest boyhood.

  Daniel’s voice interrupted Anna’s thoughts. “Dad wants me to go to an auction with him, if that’s all right with you. You can get to know Mother. When she’s not on about Nancy and religion, she’s actually very nice. So I guess I’ll see you at supper?”

  Anna suppressed a sigh. Her husband must be eager to get away. It bothered her that she would now have to share Daniel with his parents. She felt abandoned. Anna nodded her head and forced a smile.

  * * *

  She lingered over the task of unpacking. However, too soon she finished. She had no choice but to go downstairs. She walked down the wooden stairs as slowly as possible. She was filled with dread. Imagine, hours alone with her mother-in-law.

  Grace’s smile was false when Anna entered the living room. “I trust you find your accommodations comfortable and might like to be assigned a task. Am I right?”

  Anna nodded. Grace led her to the kitchen. Like the rest of the house, she found it beautiful, with a large number of white cupboards, a pump that loomed over a large sink and lace curtains over a window that overlooked a peaceful, tranquil pasture. Despite this, Anna missed bombed out L
ondon where she’d been loved and accepted.

  Grace’s eyes shone. “I planned on making bread today, and then I thought you might like to do it instead. I’ll show you where all the ingredients are kept. We have some fine white flour.”

  Anna gulped. “Yes, I would like to make the bread. I’ll just need a recipe.”

  Grace smiled icily. “I thought you’d know a recipe by heart. You can cook, can’t you?”

  “Yes, a little.” She knew it to be very little and suspected Grace realized this. Anna silently cursed her own mother for keeping her out of the kitchen.

  Grace produced the ingredients. They included flour, yeast, sugar, eggs, and lemon juice. Then she showed Anna how to pump water from the well.

  Besides plentiful cupboards, the room contained a pantry, an icebox, and a large coal stove. Grace showed Anna how to go about heating the coals.

  Anna could see no indication of how to discern the oven’s temperature. However, since she wanted to appear competent, she said nothing.

  Sunlight poured into the kitchen from the large window and Anna couldn’t help but appreciate the room’s beauty. It was far more spacious and finely furnished than the kitchen Anna had grown up with.

  Anna found herself imagining what it would be like to be the owner of this house, rather than just a reluctant guest.

  Grace produced the recipe and announced she was going upstairs to take a nap. Her tone suggested she didn’t want to be disturbed. Anna stared at Grace’s elegant, straight back as her mother-in-law climbed up the equally elegant staircase.

  Anna returned to the kitchen. The ingredients, the recipe, the stove all looked formidable. Anna read the recipe and realized bread making was a highly complicated, time-consuming process.

  Yet she forced herself not to panic. After all, how difficult could baking be?

  Anna set to work. She put the yeast into warm water with sugar, (at least she knew how to fill a kettle). After enough time had elapsed, she combined all the ingredients and kneaded them into a ball. It proved hard work and her arms ached. She was reminded of her job at the munitions factory.

  She picked up a Ladies Home Journal magazine Grace had left on the coffee table, and waited for the dough to rise. She found the articles interesting and the pictures of fashions fascinating. Yet she didn’t allow herself to become too engrossed in the magazine. She had a monumental task at hand.

  Time passed. A pleased Anna saw the dough had risen. She could do this.

  Finally, she had four loaves that were ready to be baked. Oh no! The loaves weren’t all the same size. One was so large it spilled out of the pan and another so small it looked like it needed more time to rise. Two appeared about right. Anna decided she would volunteer to eat the small loaf.

  She did her best to get the monstrosity of a stove ready for baking, but had no idea if the temperature of the oven would yield satisfactory results.

  However, since Grace remained upstairs she shrugged and slid the bread pans onto the oven racks.

  She said a short, silent prayer that her first attempt at baking would be a success. She suddenly had an urgent need for the outhouse. Daniel had pointed it out to her, so she put on her coat and galoshes and went down the path to the toilet, a structure as beautifully painted as all the other buildings.

  However, despite the Chinook’s warmth, she found the biffy freezing cold and it smelt terrible. Anna rushed through her business. She used a portion of an Eaton’s catalogue for wiping. She’d have liked time to examine all the displayed merchandise. But didn’t linger because she was freezing and she wanted to get back to her bread.

  She opened the outhouse door and discovered a large red and white spotted animal standing nearby. A cow. It didn’t appear frightened of her. Rather it watched her and chewed its cud. Weren’t cows supposed to be docile?

  Anna put her shaking hands on her pounding heart. Would it chase her? What should she do? She could see no one else about.

  Several seconds elapsed and Anna told herself not to be frightened. Anna walked past the cow and squeaked in fear when it followed her. Dear God, it was chasing her!

  Anna ran as fast as her legs would take her, fearing a goring by sharp horns She just missed thundering hooves as she slammed the gate to the house’s yard.

  She stared back at the cow and found she now seemed engrossed with eating. The animal’s behavior surprised Anna. Daniel had told her only the bulls needed to be avoided.

  Anna decided to abstain from all liquids after 7 pm so she wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

  * * *

  Anna entered the house and discovered the kitchen had filled with smoke. Could this day get any worse? Had she been gone too long? No, probably not. The oven temperature must be wrong.

  Anna rushed to the stove and yanked it open. Her bread was burned beyond recovery. Anna grabbed potholders, and pulled out the ruined loaves, choking on tears and the scent of burnt bread.

  Grace rushed into the room, her nap obviously over, and took in the scene. She started to laugh. “I thought you said you could cook. This is a disaster. Don’t worry, I’ll just whip up some baking powder biscuits for our supper tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll make the bread.”

  Suddenly Anna felt her face go hot with rage and embarrassment. A cow had chased her, she’d been given a difficult task with no instruction and then she’d been laughed at. “How in God’s name am I supposed to know what temperature the oven is at?”

  For the first time, Anna saw warmth in Grace’s eyes. It must be because they had filled with laughter at her expense. However, the coldness immediately returned. “It’s something you learn, sort of by intuition.”

  Grace waved her arms in an effort to disperse the smoke. “Anna, never ever again speak the Lord’s name in vain. God is my salvation. It is because of my belief in God that I live a good, honourable life.

  “When I was a child, my parents would lock me in a closet for hours. I didn’t have to have done anything wrong. I never mistreated my children. God freed me from cruelty.”

  Anna appreciated Grace’s disclosure and felt she had gained a greater understanding of her mother-in-law. She almost summoned pity. She nonetheless believed there was more than one form of cruelty.

  Grace hated her simply because she held a different belief system. Religion made her intolerant of any other views. Still, Anna was pleased Grace had explained the reason for her religious fervor. Maybe there was a chance they could become friends.

  Grace asked Anna to set the table, her expression and tone suggesting she doubted Anna could carry out the task without a disaster.

  The Armstrong’s owned a beautiful white linen tablecloth that had obviously been starched and ironed, cloth napkins, real silverware and Blue Willow patterned dishes.

  Anna couldn’t contain her awe. “These are the most beautiful dishes I’ve ever seen. I hope someday Daniel and I have dishes so fine.” She ran her hand over the rim of one of the plates. She became so entranced she momentarily lost her fear of Grace.

  Grace’s face softened and she smiled with genuine warmth. “You probably will someday. Daniel’s a hard worker and he’s generous.”

  Maybe the ice queen would thaw after all.

  * * *

  Within fifteen minutes, Daniel and George returned. Both men looked relaxed and happy. Anna envied them.

  Anna rushed into her husband’s arms glad to be near him in spite of the fact she had to confess her difficulties with baking. “I had a problem today. I made bread and the stove burned it all.” She felt justified in blaming the stove. “I’m sorry.”

  Daniel held Anna close. “It is no big deal. You’ll soon get used to how things work around here. You were brave to attempt to bake something.”

  Anna failed to tell him it had all been Grace’s idea.

  George also seemed unconcerned. “Don’t worry. Soon you’ll be making bread as well as the gals around here. Why Nancy, for instance, makes delicious bread and
even angel food cake. It’s light as a feather. That girl can do anything, anything at all.”

  Daniel cast a sharp look in his father’s direction. However, it appeared to have no effect, George didn’t seem to realize his comment might hurt Anna’s feelings. Anna sighed. Would she be negatively compared to Nancy for the rest of her life?

  The Armstrong’s ate supper at six p.m. sharp. Anna was starving by the time supper was ready, she’d been too nervous to eat breakfast so she’d had almost nothing all day.

  Anna snatched her hand back from her fork when she realized belatedly the rest of the family had folded their hands and bowed their heads.

  Grace said, “Anna, would you like to thank the Lord for this bounty?” She gave her daughter-in-law a sharp look that said she’d noticed Anna’s faux pas.

  Anna gulped. Her family had never much bothered with grace so nothing suitable came readily to hand. Grace was certain to want something elaborate.

  However, she nodded and said in a soft, high voice, “Dear God, thank you for this food we eat. Amen.” She looked up in hopeful expectation.

  Grace’s eyes seemed even colder than normal and her voice sent chills up Anna’s back. “We expect something more heartfelt and profound at our table. It might be acceptable to you Anglicans, but such a blessing is not what is expected here. I will say the prayer.”

  Grace began and the prayer went on for a good ten minutes. Anna worried the delicious food would grow cold and she hated cold food. It could be worse she supposed.

  Anna mumbled ‘amen’ when the prayer finally came to a conclusion. Although somewhat chilled, Anna found the food delicious. But no one spoke throughout the meal of pork chops, mashed potatoes and baking powder biscuits. Anna longed for England and her family. She brightened a little when Grace served chocolate pudding for dessert.