Now mid-summer, Anna enjoyed the southern Alberta weather. There were glorious sunny days, even though strong winds seemed to dry Anna from the inside out.
She also had to co-exist with mosquitoes, creatures neither Anna nor Daniel minded killing. These incredibly aggressive insects left itching welts on Anna’s arms and legs and interrupted her enjoyment of the welcome cool of the evening.
Already people ceased to comment favourably on her complexion. And she noticed small, faint freckles starting to appear on her arms and hands.
However, she’d begun to gain weight and that pleased her. Anna believed good food brought good health. She felt strong and energetic. Daniel said she glowed.
Setting up their home and farm had been exciting, but also frightening. It had been fun to purchase furniture and household goods and Anna had enjoyed the almost daily trips into town. However, she knew Daniel’s bank account grew dangerously low. His disability pension helped, but it wasn’t sufficient to cover all the new expenses.
Anna blamed herself for their financial situation and she filled with guilt. If Daniel had married Nancy he’d have all his parents’ backing and it would be considerable.
Anna often wondered if she shouldn’t have stuck it out with her in-laws. However, she knew in her heart she’d taken all she could tolerate.
Anna had established boundaries with regards to visits from Grace and George. They would only see Daniel’s parents once every two weeks, every second Sunday. Anna and Daniel would not attend the True Religion Church.
Daniel accepted her conditions without complaint, although he sometimes went to a machinery auction with his father. She knew her husband enjoyed these outings and Anna hated distancing Daniel from his parents, but felt she had no choice.
Grace and George seemed to accept the situation. Nothing further was said about Anna’s salvation or Nancy’s virtues. Anna thought her in-laws wanted to see her as infrequently as possible.
Grace’s manner remained stonily polite and George remained unchanged. Fortunately, since the installation of the new rules Anna had no difficulty accepting their flaws.
No matter what the circumstances, Anna vowed to never again live with her in-laws. She would return to England if Daniel tried to force that issue again.
* * *
Each morning Anna awoke to the crowing of Fancypants, the multi-coloured rooster who serviced the fifteen hens.
Besides the chickens, they had fourteen cows (none of which proved as fearsome as the rambunctious Dolly), five pigs, and two horses to help with the plowing. The horses were Princess and Duchess. Anna liked them both. Prince was a large bay gelding, and Duchess a small, all-black mare. They made a good team, although Duchess was the harder-working horse.
Anna didn’t ride Prince or Duchess, although Daniel would occasionally take one of them out. He had learned to ride as a child. He’d had to ride five miles to and from school as a young boy. Anna liked all the animals and agreed with Daniel’s assessment they would be profitable.
Anna laughed whenever Daniel told her not to discount the thousand or so head of gophers. Anna thought them cute, just as Daniel had predicted. However the holes they dug in their pasture and crop land could be dangerous.
Despite his financial worries, Daniel was content. He told Anna he no longer cared about material things like he had before the war, a trait he’d shared with his father.
“I don’t care about driving a Cadillac. When you’ve seen killing, you realize just how lucky you are to be alive. The things I used to think were important are trivial in comparison, now I just want to be free from pain.” He still had nightmares. Otherwise he was a joy to be around. He didn’t dominate her, as her father had her mother. In fact, he let Anna do as she pleased even when he thought the idea ridiculous.
Anna insisted they name their property. “Everyone does so in England. It’s only right to have a place with a name. Why not call it Whispering Gables? The wind whispers around the house.”
Daniel laughed at the flowery name. “The wind around Lethbridge is more like a bellow.”
Nonetheless, he agreed to let his wife paint a sign for the farm gate. Whispering Gables, it proclaimed.
Anna found time to paint more than just signs and Daniel praised her work. She presented him with one of a sunset and waited for his reaction.
Daniel said, “It’s beautiful. I love it. You are definitely talented.”
Anna gave Maisy one of a meadowlark, Anna’s favorite Canadian songbird. She loved the birds’ beautiful trill and gorgeous yellow colour.
The two women also exchanged books. Maisy had loaned her Oliver Twist and Anna had secured a couple of special books for Maisy. They always discussed the books after they’d read them.
Anna regularly wrote to Reg and Julie. She and Julie reminisced about England. They both missed their native homeland. The bond between Anna and Julie was as strong as their husbands’, Daniel and Reg.
Anna hoped she’d found a kindred spirit in Lethbridge when she met another war bride. Tall, buxom Mildred lived nearby.
Maisy disapproved. “Mildred’s face is round as a pudding. She even colours her hair. Are you sure she’s not a prostitute?”
However, Anna wished for instant friendship. Mildred would understand why Anna missed England’s quaint beauty, and what it felt like to be far from home and family.
“It’s a pleasure to meet another war bride. Which part of the U.K. do you come from?”
Mildred sharply retorted, “Ireland. I’m not much of a one for small talk. I hope you understand.” She frowned fiercely.
“Yes, of course.” However, Anna didn’t understand and she gave up on pursuing the friendship.
* * *
The day started out beautifully on August 15th, 1945. For one thing, the dog returned and Anna loved dogs. This was the third time he’d shown up on their doorstep. It had taken them awhile to track down his owner. Their neighbour, Van Johnson. Van had appeared unconcerned with his dog’s whereabouts. Anna feared he didn’t love the animal. A pity.
The dog seemed to like them better than his owner. Possibly because they petted him and fed him delicious table scraps.
Wolfie, as Daniel called the nameless animal, was a one hundred fifty pound mixed breed. He was black and brown with a huge head. His long hair made him look shaggy.
When Anna saw him she ran outside with a large bowl of water and another of leftovers. Wolfie rapidly devoured them. When he finished eating, he placed his large head under Anna’s hand. It was warm and comforting.
Anna thought Wolfie a wonderful replacement for Sooty. He was the only thing she missed from the Armstrong homestead.
Daniel watched the interchange with amusement and soon he was scratching behind the animal’s ears. In response, Wolfie leaned into Daniel’s thigh.
“Maybe I should run over to Van Johnson’s house and tell him where Wolfie is,” he spoke tentatively. Anna hoped Daniel could be talked into keeping Wolfie. She knew Daniel also missed Sooty.
Anna reached down and buried her hand in Wolfie’s soft, dense hair. “I wouldn’t bother. Wolfie will probably just come back as he has in the past. I think we should plan on keeping him. We don’t want Van chaining him up to keep him at home. He’s a nice dog and he’ll make a good watch dog. He can’t be happy there or he wouldn’t keep coming here.”
Anna held her breath as she waited for her husband’s reply. If Daniel agreed, they could keep the dog. If not, she might not see him again. Anna wanted a dog almost as much as she wanted children. She continued to stroke the adoring Wolfie.
Daniel smiled and Anna exhaled. “Yes, Mrs. Armstrong, I like him too. He’s a fine dog and it appears he likes us. If we don’t hear from Van, we’ve got a dog. I hope we don’t hear anything. Van does nothing more than feed him.”
Anna wrapped her arms around Wolfie’s neck. Then she embraced her husband and he kissed her under the beautiful, bright, blue sky. A meadowlark sang in the pasture.
However, she knew enough to keep him from the chicken coop when she went to gather the eggs. “Stay, Wolfie.”
Wolfie sat, tongue lolling while he waited.
“Good dog.” She would have to do little to train him.
Anna didn’t mind gathering the eggs, although she often received a sharp peck from a hen. She must leave some to incubate, she thought. Just thinking of the soft balls of yellow fluff made Anna smile.
However, Anna noticed one old hen had long ceased producing eggs. She would have to be killed for her meat. If she didn’t lay eggs, if she didn’t meet her purpose any longer, there could be no reason to keep her.
Anna sighed. Neither she nor Daniel relished killing.
However, practicality won out. After all, they were hardly rich. Anna picked up the old hen, a gentle bird that nestled against Anna’s chest.
The bird clucked softly as Anna reluctantly carried her out of the hen house and towards Daniel. Wolfie followed.
Anna, feeling like the worst kind of scum, found Daniel taking a smoke break from fixing the pig pen. A board had come loose and the pigs were eager to escape. Both Daniel and Anna hated rounding up pigs. Daniel blew smoke through his nose. He looked the essence of contentment. He smiled at his wife.
Anna didn’t waste time on a greeting. “This hen hasn’t been laying. But she’s a dear old soul. Perhaps we should let her die of natural causes.”
As with the dog, Anna hoped Daniel would come around to her way of thinking. Fortunately, Daniel appeared to be in a good mood. The gentle bird rested her head on Anna’s arm.
Daniel immediately straightened and Anna could detect his intent.
“Gosh, how long has it been?”
Anna stroked the hen. “A couple of weeks or so. I don’t think her meat will be very good. She is obviously very old.”
Anna could think of no other words to prolong the life of this dear chicken. She continued to stroke the clucking bird.
Daniel hastily placed the hammer he’d been using on the ground, his face red. “Those crooks in town told me all the hens were young and just starting to produce. I was lied to. I’m afraid we’re just going to have to eat her. We can’t run a retirement home for chickens. The dog is going to cost us enough in food.”
Anna sighed. Life could be cruel. “I suppose you’re right. However, she is a dear old soul.” Anna hated this moment as much as any in her life.
“I can see that. Sometimes killing is necessary, you know that. I wish to God it wasn’t mandatory, then or now.”
Daniel went to get the axe. He moved slowly, reluctant to carry out the task.
Anna continued to stroke the bird, although she wanted to release it. Let it escape the bite of the axe.
She couldn’t do it, Daniel would be angry and they really couldn’t afford to feed a non-producing hen. Why did God make life such a struggle?
* * *
Daniel fought back tears as he took the hen from Anna and placed her on the ground. He’d never killed a chicken. All of the slaughtering had been done by his father when he’d been growing up.
The dear hen sat still. Poor tired old thing. Daniel felt like a murderer. He held the chicken still while he swung the sharp axe as hard as he could so the chicken would suffer as little as possible. Thankfully, the bird’s head severed easily, blood spurted onto Daniel’s pants and shirt. He fought back the bile rising in his throat.
The decapitated bird ran wildly in circles and he stifled a cry of distress. He turned from the headless bird’s wild gyrations. Wolfie grabbed the head and Daniel stifled a strangled cry. At that moment, Daniel almost hated the dog, although Wolfie was just following his instincts.
Death was terrible and grotesque. Except for the lucky few who managed to die peaceably in their sleep. The old hen produced a great deal of blood, more than he expected.
Without warning, Daniel found himself back in the Sherman Firefly tank on the beach, the thunder of guns and screams of the wounded beating down on him. They’d suffered a direct hit and even in the dim light the bodies of his unit were strewn about grotesquely twisted in death. A scream of rage and despair burst from him, why was he spared when everyone else was dead?
The blood and other bits of the men under his command littered the inside of the tank and stuck to his uniform. His throat closed with the acrid scent of fuel and bowels loosened in death.
Daniel’s shoulder was odd and wouldn’t move; he looked down and was surprised to see blood staining his shirt. Death surrounded him and Daniel couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away from his fallen friends. Easy-going Randy slumped over his gun, Frank with his brain blown apart, Sam sprawled across the floor blocking Daniel’s escape, young Ken who’d lied about his age, curled up on the floor looking like he was sleeping.
God, if only he’d conquered his fear and opened the hatch to survey the battleground he might have been able to take evasive action even in the cloying sand. He closed his eyes and willed himself to be anywhere else.
A gust of wind rattled the cottonwood leaves above him. Daniel shook his head and opened his eyes to the familiar barnyard. Weak with relief he almost dropped to his knees. The old hen lay still some feet away from him. Poor old thing, he hated taking her life, even though practicality decreed it was the best thing to do.
Blood dripped from the axe he still held clenched in his fist. With a cry of horror he flung it away from him and collapsed in a heap sobbing as if his heart would break. Death; so much death. Would it never stop?
* * *
Anna avoided the killing. Poor old hen. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth when her husband stood trancelike with the beheaded creature spinning around him. Anna gave a cry of dismay as Daniel threw the axe and crumpled to the ground. She ran to him and gathered the sobbing man in her arms. “Daniel, Daniel, hush now. It’s okay. Hush now.” She stroked his hair and tried to ease the shuddering of his body. It scared her how frail he seemed in her arms. Wolfie came and leaned against them, offering his protection and comfort.
Eventually the tremors eased and Daniel raised his head. “Anna, I can’t talk about it. Leave me for a bit. Can you do something with that dead bird, please? I can’t look at it…”
Anna hugged him and kissed his forehead before getting to her feet. Gingerly, she picked up the chicken and took it to a sheltered spot beside the house. The kettle was already on the stove, she’d need hot water to help remove the feathers. Despite the fact she hated the messy job, she toiled as rapidly and efficiently as possible.
The smell of wet feathers made her stomach clench in protest, and the eviscerating would be worse. Anna hated the feel of the internal organs, still warm from the recently departed life. A shiver ran over her skin. This was woman’s work, Grace had insisted when she first showed Anna how to prepare the chicken earlier in the marriage when they still lived with her in-laws. Men slaughtered the animals and the women took care of the rest, except for the heavy work of butchering cattle and swine.
* * *
At supper Anna forced herself to eat, there was no excuse for wasting food Daniel declared, although he only picked at the meal too.
The old bird was surprisingly tasty especially accompanied by the dumplings Anna put together. They ate in silence.
After supper, Anna softly hummed a lullaby as she cleaned up the leftovers and washed and dried the dishes. Hers may not be the beautiful Blue Willow pattern of her in-laws, but she loved the simple, inexpensive dishes they’d purchased at Safeway. They belonged to her and Daniel.
She changed into her nightgown, and noticed an unopened box of Kotex in her underwear drawer. She found the sanitary pads a vast improvement over the tissues employed by women in wartime London.
It occurred to her she hadn’t had her period in the last five weeks, and she was usually as regular as clockwork. There had also been some slight nausea
in the mornings.
Could it be possible? Would her greatest dream come true? Might she really and truly be pregnant? Anna forgot all about the chicken and Daniel’s breakdown. She danced about the room.
She ran out to where Daniel sat reading the Free Press. She was so excited she could hardly talk. “Darling, I think I’m pregnant.”
Daniel slowly and carefully folded the paper, eyes shiny with tears when he looked up at her. “I know it’s something you want…I just don’t know if I can trust myself with a child.”
He looked down at his large hands and Anna wondered if he saw them covered in blood his face was so white.
Anna knelt beside him and took his hands in hers. “Despite your war experiences, you are the kindest, gentlest man I know. You’ll make an excellent father.” Anna gently kissed her husband on the cheek.
Daniel gave a great shuddering breath and his body relaxed against her. He pulled Anna into his arms and kissed her on the neck. “I love you. We’ll be wonderful parents, I know it.”
PART 3
LETHBRIDGE, ALBERTA, CANADA
1951 – 1952
Chapter 9
Anna sang out one of her favorite songs, Bing Crosby’s Swinging on a Star, as she prepared four loaves of bread.
She was now an excellent cook and knew exactly what temperature in which to bake bread. The incident in her in-laws’ home would never be forgotten. Yet now it only brought comfort because her situation had changed so much.
Her bread in the oven, Anna began to wash up the bowls and wooden spoon she’d been using. She should have done this earlier but had neglected the task because she’d been too engrossed in her grooming. She’d just bathed, and felt fresh in a pink and white flowered sleeveless dress Daniel loved.
Till The Wind Blows Silent Page 12