by Matt Snee
The spaceport is quiet and empty when they arrive except for the hustle of the daily traffic. She watches religious pilgrims and other visitors from around the Solar System hurry about them. She watches a group of girls in sky-blue dresses handing out flyers and selling food. The whole world seems happy to her, and happy with her, now that she has landed on Ganymede.
They sweat in the heat of the spaceport as they make their way through its calm crowds, before finally boarding a car bound for the undersea. Jenn's parents are important, treated as heads of state. They stay in a wing of the Dunleavy mansion during their visit. The car descends through the water, carrying them to their temporary home amidst the most important people in the Solar System. Jenn stares out the windows at the fish, some of whom seem to stare back.
When they arrive they are met in an outer courtyard by the Dunleavys. Douglas Daniel and his wife Francis Faye, Sara Sloan Dunleavy - little sister to Jon Jason, old wild Auntie Bess, and of course, Jon Jason himself, grinning like a superhero all welcome them. It is as though an extended part of the family has returned. The men shake hands while the women hug gently. Everyone comments on Jenn's growth, which is embarrassing but at the same time flattering. A distinct cheeriness settles upon the air.
The adults decide to be adults. “Why don't you go play with Jon Jason?” Jenn's dad suggests this, not realizing his daughter is practically a woman.
“Perhaps you should wait until you've rested first,” her mother says, knowing all too well how old Jenn is.
“No.” Jenn is clear, angry with her mother.
“It's okay,” interrupts Jon Jason, “I'll make sure she doesn't stay out too long.”
Jenn smiles. Jon Jason knowing exactly what to say.
The parental units depart, and Jon Jason leads Jenn to one of the inner malls of the facility. It is their favorite one because of its prim trees and accidental seclusion. There are birds that have been shipped in from Earth, tweeting and jumping around the vaulted ceilings. Bright lights simulating Californian sun hurt both their eyes, but when Jon Jason offers to turn it down, Jenn declines, hoping to get some feeling of Earth into her skin.
“So,” Jon Jason says, play-punching her in the kidney. “You're back.”
“That's right,” Jenn replies, amused by her own confidence. She knows that Jon Jason likes her as a tease. He expects a girl to keep up with him, and she knows that only she has the power to do it.
“I've got my own ship now,” Jon Jason says. “We can go anywhere. Even into the Death Dream.”
“The Death Dream?” she asks. “How does it do that?”
“The ship is based on a new technology my dad developed for Jupiter's atmosphere. It can go into the Death Dream. Well, skim it, but it's a hell of a ride. You'd love it.”
She has never been in the Death Dream. It is too dangerous. “My parents…” she says.
“They don't have to know. You could lie about it.”
“I guess I could,” she agrees. Thinking of going into Jupiter frightens her, especially the prospect of lying to her mom and dad, which she has never done before. Still, she considers it for a moment. Her excitement makes a line of coldness run down her spine. “I'm mad at you,” she pouts, trying to distract him. “You haven't been returning my messages.”
“I'm sorry,” Jon Jason apologizes. “My father, he runs me ragged. I don't have a lot of down time.”
“That's no excuse.”
“I know,” he says, coming closer to her. He bends his neck so their faces are almost touching, smiling his sly smile while his black eyes say nothing. “I'll make it up to you.”
“How?” she asks, flirting.
“Like this,” he says, and he kisses her. It is awkward and clumsy—they bump foreheads and their teeth click together. But still, his lips brush against hers with serious power, leaving a trace of saliva and an electric tingling on her lips. They have kissed before, like children. Jenn knows immediately that this is different; there is something more than Jon Jason's usual playfulness.
She withdraws, mimicking coyness, tingling with happiness.
* * *
The days pass. Jennifer goes to a private school located under the sea while on winter break. It is one of the most prestigious schools in the Solar System for the Human Solar Diaspora, where she excels.
School manages to take a big chunk of her vacation away from her, but she decides to be polite about it. Besides, she enjoys the social nature of lessons after the loneliness of the Devasthanam. Jon Jason is out of school and works with his father during the day, so he isn't available. Ganymede is no fun without Jon Jason. So she grins and pushes around the other kids with her mouth and her outlandish deeds. She is smarter and more confident than the teachers; she avoids letting them get cut on her wit. She learns to be a nice person, even if no one is watching.
Nights comprise of stuffy dinners with the Dunleavys and their guests, where her father drinks and talks incessantly as her mother nibbles at her meal and gossips with the other women. If she is lucky, after dinner she has time alone with Jon Jason. Jenn notices quickly that there is a complex desperation in his every gesture, but she decides it's because he is tortured by his life and heritage and has needs he doesn't understand. In a way, she is right. Jon Jason is conflicted about a lot of things—but he is not conflicted about Jenn. He knows what he wants from her, and even if she can't articulate that in her mind, she can feel it. Slowly she gets used to the idea of surrendering herself to Jon Jason, and the idea fills her with a new glow. They talk about many things, but they never talk about their attraction, and they never kiss again like they did when she first arrived. Not yet.
Some nights Jon Jason steals her to the surface of Ganymede, where he puts on a wig and passes himself off as a poor kid like anybody else, hanging out with the locals as though he is one of them. They think they know him but they do not know him at all. He introduces her as his new girlfriend and proclaims that if anybody touches her he will kill them. He threatens them in earnest that they all believe him, and they look upon her in awe. Even there, where he has no money or name, he still is the center of everything. It is natural for him—he is a born king.
Jenn fantasizes about being his queen. What would that be like? When she thinks about it, her whole life makes sense.
One day Jon Jason shows her all of his race cars, which he describes in cost and horsepower. He races in the tournaments that are held on the surface. “I'll win one for you. There's one at the end of the winter,” he says.
She blushes. “Okay…”
All the time they plan their secret mission to the Death Dream. It is no small feat, and no silly pursuit. It is a dangerous obsession that covers their lives. Jupiter is known to call people to their deaths, and that's the way she feels as she deceives her parents. Jupiter's gravity has her in its hands, it's inescapable. Fate can seem exciting to people their age, and they laugh as they careen toward it.
Finally, the night of their mission arrives. They sneak out of the mansion as quickly and as expertly as they do anything else. They ascend to the surface, where Jon Jason's ship awaits. Their plan is to fly into the Death Dream and be back by morning. No one will be the wiser.
They make their way to the private Dunleavy spaceport, atop the surface, where Jon Jason readies his ship. It looks like a giant silver carrot. “Can this really go into the Death Dream?” Jennifer asks.
“Not deep. But deep enough to feel the effects of Jupiter,” Jon Jason replies. “What, are you afraid now?”
“No,” she says, even though she very much is. It is the fear that drives her to do it in the first place. She loves fear and has not found another emotion or feeling she enjoys more. Not even her devotion to Jon Jason can compare to her basic addiction to danger.
They strap into the ship and rise up off the moon. Jupiter envelops the entire sky. They are mesmerized as the stare into its beauty. Jennifer feels a pang of regret leaving the ground of Ganymede without her parents' permi
ssion. She reminds herself, she is not a child anymore.
No one knows they are going. Jon Jason took no precautions on that front. His confidence in their safe return is indomitable. If anything goes wrong, they will be alone.
Jenn shares this foolhardy assurance, making her feel indestructible. In her mind, she and Jon Jason are immortal beings, young gods taking pleasure in the perils of creation. It only makes sense that the call of the Death Dream lures them in.
Ganymede disappears from below them, replaced by lightning and storm clouds. They pass through that disputed place between the moon and the giant, where their atmospheres mingle hellishly. The ship rocks back and forth, shaking, jumping up and down as it continues to rise. It jerks spectacularly, as though the whole thing does a somersault. Jenn feels her insides twisting around. She reaches over and takes Jon Jason's hand to settle herself. He squeezes back softly, warm and strong. The turbulence continues.
Jon Jason looks her in the eye, resolute, and says, “If we get out of here alive, will you kiss me?”
“Yes!” A tear falls out of her eye and rolls down her cheek, where it slips off her chin onto her neck, leaving an exquisitely cold trail that lingers.
They smile at each other.
The roof of the spaceship rips off in one swift tear and the Death Dream storms naked before them, spitting vile radioactive liquids into their faces and pummeling them with wind. Jenn and Jon Jason let go of each other's hands, lost in their own discomfort and fright. They scream. The spaceship spins out of control. What feels like ghosts stream across their bodies and under their skin, ghouls of wind and sound that taste them and then let them go free.
The Death Dream is everything she was told it is - not worth the risk. I'm going to die, at last! Now! Here! With him! Fine! I'll die. Her thoughts race through her mind. She turns back to him—
Jon Jason's seat is empty. He is gone.
* * *
Jennifer finds herself lying face down in the middle of a dark forest, where the trees are made out of clear crystal and the stars in the sky shine so bright their light rivals the sun. Marvelous purples and blues, reds and oranges, and greens and yellows assault her retinas. Once her eyes adjust, she realizes she isn't in a forest, but a garden—the trees are planted evenly and the grass is cut short. Meticulously placed flowers dot the ground around the trees, and a short rock walk extends behind her leading who knows where.
The only thing that's certain is that the wind of the Death Dream has stopped. Jenn is confused as she looks around at all this beauty. One question rings in her head. Where is she?
She gets to her feet. There is movement in the trees, causing a sound of chandeliers tinkling like when the window is open. Things that look like children with wings made of peacock feathers climb out of nowhere and sniff at her.
“Where am I?” she asks them. There is no answer as the flit by her.
“Jon Jason?” Her voice trembles as she speaks to herself. “How did I get here?”
“There is no here,” a grizzled voice says from behind her. She turns quickly, hurting her neck. A one-eyed decrepit old man stands dressed in blue robes. He is leaning upon a wizened stick. His head hunches to the left because his shoulders are misaligned. He cocks a half-sideways grin at her. He has a long, white beard and a mess of white hair on his head. His single eye is a scorching blue, and where its twin would be there is nothing but a scar of angry flesh.
“What do you mean, there is no here?” She asks him.
“What I mean is, you're dead. You're in the Cosmic Garden.
“I'm dead?” Jenn starts to cry, knowing in her heart this is true. The old man does not have to convince her further.
“Where's Jon Jason?”
“Your friend? He's fine. Jupiter took him—but I understand they let him go.”
She wipes the tears from her eyes. “And what about me? Where do I go now?”
“Well—that's up to you, young lady. You actually have a choice where many don't. You can either pass on, or return to your body and your life.”
“How?” The choice seemed too simple to make.
“How?” he repeats. “Well, because of me, my girl. I pulled a lot of strings to get you another chance. The others doubt my choice, but they relented.”
“Why would you do this?”
“Let's just say, I'm planning for the future,” he chuckles. “You could also describe it as cheating if you really want to.”
“Cheating?”
“I haven't all day to explain this to you. You must choose.”
“What do I do?”
“Why, what do you want to do?”
She looks up to the sky, which is bright with star fire. “I want to go back.”
“Then go back!”
“How?”
“See that door?”
“Which one?” she asks.
“The one right in front of you!”
Jenn is astonished to find a tall wooden door standing directly in front of her. She puts her hand on the brass doorknob. “Thank you,” she says. She turns at the knob. It doesn't budge.
“Oops!” says the old man, drawing a key out of his pocket. “Locked,” he explains chuckling.
“Can't have everyone just leaving now can we? Don't tell anybody I did this.” He gives her the key and she unlocks the door, pulling it open and revealing a startling light.
“Just try it,” the old man says. “Quickly now.”
She nods, knowing urgency is important. She steps into the light. It engulfs her. Before the light dissipates she turns back to the old man.
“But wait!” she shouts. Her voice starts to echo, “Who are you?”
The old man smiles sadly shaking his head in disbelief that she does not know. “Why, I am Mogh!” His single blue eye flashes, and then he disappears.
The light gives way to darkness.
* * *
A posse of volunteers finds them, still lost within the Death Dream. Jenn in what is left of the ship, and Jon Jason lost floating in the air torrents. They are both in shock. Somehow they are both perfectly alive, although Jenn has a slight head injury. The Dunleavys and Pichons bring their children back to Ganymede and shelter them for the remainder of the trip.
Jon Jason and Jennifer are not allowed to see each other. Both of their parents are furious. It is decided that they are a bad influence on each other. The Pichons secretly blame Jon Jason, since Jenn has never done anything remotely as insane and dangerous as this before. The Dunleavys of course blame the notoriously audacious explorer's daughter, as Jon Jason is usually so responsible.
It's a mess. Jenn needing to recover from her injury spends most of her time lying down, watching television, and moping. She wonders what Jon Jason is doing. When his race is on television, her parents forbid her to watch it. She can't stop thinking about him and what he must be thinking about her. Does he still think she's special? What became of her dreams and fantasies of her winter here on Ganymede? She cries a little, and then a lot.
Her parents are furious. Not as much about the risk-taking as about the deception. They constantly lecture her, but she has nothing to say in return. What can she say? That she was an idiot? That she lied to them and jeopardized her life on a fool's joyride?
They already know the whole story. Or at least they think they do. She decides talking about it will only make it worse.
The remainder of her time on Ganymede evaporates in a haze of fuzzy painkillers, bad TV, and reckless emotions. The night before their departure finds her in bed, trying to sleep, when she hears a knock on her bedroom door. Who is that? She wonders. Her parents don't respect her enough to afford her any privacy.
She gets out of bed and opens the door. It's him! She leaps into his arms, hugging his body as close to hers as she can. He snickers and returns the embrace. They let go of each other and close the door behind them.
“How did you get here? Didn't my parents see you?” she whispers.
“I can do any
thing I want,” he answers, matter-of-factly.
“I know you can,” she says. “But why did you wait until now?” A frown crosses her forehead.
“It doesn't matter. We have right now. And you owe me a kiss.”
“You're right,” she says, lighting up. “We survived!” She remembers the moment in the ship when they held hands. A fiery happiness crawls through her body.
Before their lips meet, the door is thrown open—it's Douglas Daniel; he followed Jon Jason the Jenn's room. He drags Jon Jason out.
“Didn't I tell you?” Douglas Daniel says, over and over.
Jon Jason is silent.
Jenn's parents awake and watch as the Dunleavys leave, disappointed even further in their daughter. It's too much—she wants to absolutely, and completely, die.
* * *
The Dunleavys and Pichons agree on one small reprieve, the kids can say goodbye to each other at a farewell dinner before the Pichons return to the Devasthanam. This is a feeble attempt to assuage the children to keep their resentments at a minimum.
The dinner is served. The two families sit opposite each other like civilized armies. When it comes time to sacrifice the bull calf, it is Jon Jason now who slits its throat, and as the blood splashes against the beautiful, polished floor, Jenn feels both exhilarated and disgusted. She claps politely with the others, wondering where her promised time on Jupiter has gone.
At the end of the evening they steal a moment alone. Knowing that their parents are not far away, they are both on their guard.
“Don't kiss me,” Jenn pleads. “I'm in enough trouble.”
Jon Jason nods. Sadness floods his face.
She looks into his eyes trying to find so an answer to all the sorrow that is eating her insides out. There is nothing but blackness. He reaches out and pulls her toward him, wrapping his arms around her body as she nestles her head into his chest. This lasts for a moment before their parents arrive to pull them apart. Jenn and her family depart.