by Belvin, Love
Were these guilt gifts? Did Azmir sleep with Dawn?
Bile ascended from my belly and I swallowed hard to keep it down. I tried so hard not to dwell on that depressing theory. I employed everything within me to adapt a sanguine disposition for the sake of the evening. I would just have to ride this out until the appropriate time to confront Azmir with what I knew.
That night we attended a Trey Songz concert. It was the first leg of his international tour for his latest album, the hottest ticket in town. I’d heard advertisements for contests to win tickets for it. In true A.D. Jacobs’ fashion, we had impeccable seats. I could swear that I was hit with Trey’s sweat from where we stood.
The show was great from start to finish. It really helped me escape my internal stressors, even if only temporarily. Trey sang a few of my favorite hits of his including I Invented Sex. I gave Azmir as licentious of a lap dance that was appropriate in public. I could tell he enjoyed me by the way his heavy gaze swayed between my eyes to my backside that gyrated meticulously in his lap. He tried his best to keep his hands limited to my hips as I enjoyed teasing him. It was weird to have security with us, though I knew the game, so I dare not complain. I simply acted as though they were not there, just as Azmir did.
After the show, we caught dinner at a small, high end restaurant that allowed us intimacy. Azmir talked a lot about his work, something that I relished. He mentioned insane stories from when he stayed with Mark and Eric for a few days last week—the same timeframe that he kissed Dawn Taylor. The guys agreed on a triple date event in the near future. I had hoped it was possible.
Dinner was delightful and the drinks complimented the meal. It was hard to ignore Azmir’s phone going off. He didn’t take a single call, just kept sending it to voice mail. As much as I wanted to believe that he was hiding something from me, it was difficult to considering how heavily engaged he was in our conversations. He must have told me how beautiful I was that night at least a dozen times. It melted my core—literally.
We didn’t stay for long after finishing our meal. We were whisked off to a private after party for the tour that was already in full swing in West Hollywood. It was at an upscale lounge and the line to get in was fairly long. Marcus, our security, jumped out to talk to the guards at door before returning to the car and opening the door for Azmir and me to exit. Ray pulled off as we jumped the line to get inside.
The place was packed, but the atmosphere was relaxed. There were so many celebrities in there and per usual, they were very much acquainted with Mr. Jacobs. He was always equanimous in his interactions with them. Azmir was never pressed to speak to anyone or kissed up. In contrast, he returned greetings and did very little talking, but mostly nodded and smiled. Once in a while he’d introduce me to one, but for the most part he kept conversations brief, promising to chat at another time.
Who was this Azmir Jacobs?
Not even twenty minutes into our arrival did I notice Lady Spin and Britni. They sat in a lounge across the room at a comfortable distance. I saw them whisper and point in our direction and wondered what could they possibly have to say. Suddenly, I felt Azmir’s lips on my ear whispering, “I see your friend over there. You should go say hello,” sardonically.
I scoffed. “She’s with your friend. You first.” He flashed his panty-snatching smirk and my insides clenched. When we were seated with our drinks I asked, “Do you know Trey Songz?” trying to get a better understanding of him and who he was in the industry.
“We’ve met in circles…been in the same places…know a few of the same people, but not personally. I don’t think he’s here. He’s probably at a public after party.”
“Public?”
“Yeah…this one is private, more for industry heads who want to mingle without the hoopla and fanfare. It’s like the listening party, but after the release of the album, for those who may not have attended. He’ll come in and greet folks, he may even perform a little. Do you want to meet him,” he offered, his face completely deadpan.
“Oh, no. I’m a fan of his music, but not the groupie type.” A rush of relief washed over Azmir’s face. It was too overt. “Don’t get me wrong, if he was like a Charlie Wilson, or a Will Downing or even a Keith Sweat I’d be bum-rushing his security,” I joked.
Azmir wrinkled his nose. “Keith Sweat? How could you even place him in the same sentence as Charlie and Will?” He laughed and although it was at my expense, I enjoyed his lightheartedness.
“Are you kidding me? Keith Sweat could beg the sweat off my back effortlessly.” Since I was a kid I crushed on Mr. Sweat. He was so hot to me.
“I’ll make sure to slip his music in the shuffle the next time I have your ass. If he can make your back sweat, I’ll lick it off.” Azmir gave a soft grimace. “No Keith Sweat concert in your future, kid.” I couldn’t read if he was speaking in jest or was serious with his declarations.
Before I could ask, I heard, “Divine, surprised to see you here.” I looked up to find Spin standing before me.
“Lady Spin, long time no see. How are you?” Azmir was his usual cool and polite self.
“I’m good. I worked the concert. We aired live.” Her brows furrowed suddenly. “You don’t do concerts anymore,” she was goading him for answers.
“I’ve been working hard lately…wanted a romantic evening and thought Trey could help set the mood,” Azmir said as he ran his thumb across the start of my spine, causing me to shiver. I’d hope not so conspicuously. I smiled—probably giggled in my tipsy state. That made Spin’s spiteful gape shoot over to me.
“Nice to see you again, Spin.” I attempted to be civil.
“Hi…?” She pretended to have forgotten my name. I knew in that moment it wasn’t going to be a pleasant run in.
“Rayna,” Azmir retorted.
“…Brimm. Surely you couldn’t forget that. You are friends with an old associate of mine, and I’m friends with an old associate of yours,” with a bright smile I added to the sting.
She silently gasped. I don’t think she was expecting Azmir’s protectiveness or me to clap back at her. I’ve read your texts to him, bitch!
Spin kept her gaze on Azmir. “I’ll be seeing you around, Divine. Your assistant contacted me about the fair your rec center is planning in the LBC?” Azmir nodded. What fair? Azmir had never mentioned a fair. “I’ll make room in my schedule to be there,” she forced a sinister smile.
“Good to know. I appreciate that,” Azmir nodded again. Not having much left to say, she turned to walk off, but not before rolling her eyes at me.
“Aye, Spin,” I called out to her. She stopped and turned to me.
“I look forward to seeing you at the fair. Thanks for helping out. We appreciate it,” I took my final jab. She huffed, rolled her eyes again, and turned on her heels.
“You need to be nice, Ms. Brimm,” Azmir teased when Lady Spin was out of earshot.
“I am so sick of your people picking on me. What is it? I mean—Spin, I get. But Syn I don’t.”
Azmir hissed, “Syn is a fucking nut case. I was ready to choke her little ass over that table in Vegas. I can only imagine what Kid did when he dealt with her. She is getting bolder with her crassness and her drinking contributes to it all.”
“Yeah, Kim mentioned her drinking,” I murmured contemplatively, suddenly feeling sorry for Syn. “I didn’t know it was that bad.” I still didn’t get why I was a target, but decided to stick with my original plan of simply tolerating her ghetto antics. It’s not like I was unfamiliar with her kind.
“Don’t pay her any mind. She’s not worth your time.” His words were comforting even if they weren’t necessary for Syn. She really was insignificant in my book.
“I need to go relieve myself,” I said to excuse myself.
“I’ll go with you.” Azmir sat up in his seat.
“No, Mr. Jacobs, I’ll be fine. I’ve been drinking all evening and will probably have to go several times before we leave. You can’t come with me every time.�
� Disappointment settled on his face. “Unless…you wanna explore your exhibitionist side.” I raised my eyebrows.
A bashful smile formed on his perfectly sculpted lips. I watched as he made the decision to stay put. He sat back on the sofa.
When I came out of the stall, I headed to the sinks and washed my hands. I looked up in the mirror to check my makeup and noticed that the red on my lips had dulled before I came upon gaping eyes. They belonged to Tara. What the? She was the last person I was expecting to run into. She looked like a deer caught in headlights.
I casually pulled out my lipstick to freshen up my lips, the way that Azmir preferred. Tara was eventually able to move up to the sink and wash her hands. I caught her giving me a once over on her way. She appeared saddened by my presence. The texts she sent Azmir came to mind and when I matched it against her current disposition, my heart softened to her. No matter my impression of her, I couldn’t help but pity her situation. Yeah, she did her dirt and lost Azmir in the process, but she was now a single parent and oddly that was something I could sympathize with.
“Hello, Tara.”
Her eyes jumped in surprise at my civility. She took a second or two to plan her response.
With furrowed brows, she tentatively asked, “Rayna, right?”
Why do these chicks think that I would believe for one second that they didn’t know my name? Heck, they likely knew my occupation!
“Yes, Rayna. And I think you knew that.” I tried to quiet my sigh. “Listen, we can at least be cordial. There’s no need to be otherwise. Azmir told me you had the baby. Congratulations.” I gave her a warm smile in an attempt to lower her guards.
It didn’t have the immediate warming effects that I was going for, but she did manage, “Thank you.” It was a little stiff, but I applauded her efforts.
“You look really good,” I tried to end our awkward exchange on a good note. It was sincere. She wore a mini black fitted long-sleeved dress. Boa-like feathers ran from the neck and down both sleeves. She accessorized with a gold plated belt with a chain that hung from the side and the same Daffodile Red Bottom pumps that I had on.
After looking me up and down she said, “Great minds.”
I knew that would be the extent of her compliments and really didn’t have much more to say, so I gave her a final gracious nod and walked out.
On my way out, I found Azmir in the hall, presumably waiting for me. Could he not have given me a minute? I could see he was talking to a woman, but her back was towards me. After a few more treads forward, the back of the woman’s hair grew familiar. Oh, no! It was Dawn Taylor.
Does this chick stalk him? Why is she always popping up? We were outside of the main room of the lounge and the music was muffled, making words inaudible without screaming over the music. People were moving about the area, either exiting out of the building or going into the main lounge area. I was at an angle that Azmir couldn’t see me and neither could Dawn with her back to me.
Eventually, I was close enough to hear her say, “I didn’t see you at the concert. Did you make it? I reserved a seat for you.” My body froze in place.
Azmir replied, “I was there. I had seats on hold already.”
“Oh, I’d been trying to reach out to you to make sure you knew. I’m glad you at least made it to the after party. I have a few people I want you to meet. I was hoping we can do that and then go grab a drink and chat a bit. I haven’t really heard from you since Connecticut,” Dawn paused, awaiting lead from Azmir. When she didn’t get any she continued, “We should really sort that situation out.”
Her tone made my skin crawl. She was still pursuing him. Were those her calls that he was ignoring during dinner? I didn’t know what to do.
“Dawn, I told you then it never happened. There’s nothing to discuss. It’s never been my practice to shit where I eat. Let’s just keep it professional.” Azmir weakly tried warding her off.
“I understand but…” she sounded frustrated by her thoughts. “Azmir, I can’t…I know I’ve been a bit aggressive and it’s not something that I do with men, but with you it…it’s like the more I see you the more I want to be around you. I thought at first it was simple attraction, but the more I get to know you and the more I learn about you…your reputation, it’s like…” Her voice trailed off. She was at an emotional impasse. “I don’t want to compromise business, but if I had a choice between the two—”
Azmir cut her off. “Dawn, I’m not here alone.”
“Who are you with?” Without giving him a moment to respond, she asked, “Rayna?” Dawn sounded as if she desperately wanted him to say no.
“Yes. Dawn, perhaps if another time, but right now…” It was Azmir’s turn to be at a loss for words.
“Is it serious?” she asked forlorn. “I mean, tell me what I’m up against here.” Oh, my! She IS forceful!
“Roommate type of serious.” Azmir’s were like a jab in the stomach. I could no longer breath from the blow. There was a pause as Dawn decoded his encrypted words.
“Are you two exclusive?” She was desperately grasping at straws of hope.
“I have to go. I need to find her.” Azmir turned to leave.
I did an about face myself and headed back into the ladies’ room and into a stall to try to catch my breath and fight the harboring tears. After some time, I heard the door open and some chatter that caught my attention.
“Are you okay? What’s the matter?” I didn’t hear a response.
“Don’t cry, baby. What the hell is wrong? Was it something he said? Oh, no! You were so excited to see him tonight. No…no…don’t cry,” came from the same voice.
I figured the other party was too distraught to speak. It seemed as though I wasn’t the only one with drama going on here. At least this person had a shoulder to cry on. That led my thoughts to my loss of Michelle.
That’s it. I need get out of here before I breakdown publicly.
I flew out of the stall and over to the sink to observe my makeup once again before washing my hands. When I turned the corner for the door out of the bathroom, I saw the two weeping women that I’d heard from the stall. It was Dawn and another woman that I didn’t know. When Dawn laid eyes on me it was as if she’d seen a ghost. I was a bit shell-shocked myself. Her eyes were red and her mascara ran down her cheeks. She was panting out of breathing and her red stained lips were parted to assist with her breathing.
Without speaking words, our eyes communicated well. Mine told her I hated her for barking up my tree that was Azmir. Her eyes told me she resented me for being in the way. The other woman tried to follow our scowls, confused by it all. I walked out of the bathroom with no words for her.
Flustered from my run-ins of the night, I tried to remember which door I’d originally come out of, but nothing looked familiar. The music had stopped and I heard someone with a silken masculine voice speak over the microphone system. I figured it was time for the performance and had hoped they didn’t start locking doors for security reasons. There were several entrances I saw that led into the main room. I had to try one to start the hunt. I chose my door without hesitation. When I pulled it opened and started in, I immediately noticed that I was at the top of the room and had entered into the door closest to the stage. Crap!
I saw women with their hands raised eagerly and hopping on their toes like toddlers. What in the…? In a nanosecond all eyes flew to me, causing me to still in my tracks.
The sleek voice flowed throughout the room again and it crooned, “Daaaamn, baby! I remember you from the concert,” with a strong southern twang. “Look it here!” it continued. I followed it to discover it was none other than Trey Songz himself…and he was looking in my direction. I instinctively turned to see who he was speaking to and then heard him say, “Nah, baby, you in the gold. Is that gold?” he asked, straining his eyes, using his hand to shade his eyes from the lights glaring in his face.
A brolic figure standing next to the door that I’d just come through called out
to me. “Miss, he’s talking to you.” My heart sped in my chest. I looked back up to the stage and pointed to myself.
“Yeah, baby, you. What’s yo’ name?” he smiled, very much aware of his charisma. His vanity was built into the slant of his eyes.
With hesitance I sputtered, “Rayna.”
“Hold up. Let me come down there to get a better look.” The crowd cheered and laughed, apparently enjoying the show. My mouth went dry. I was extremely embarrassed and wanted to crawl into a dark hole, but I couldn’t. I had too many reasons not to fold—namely three, and they were all females, vying for Azmir’s affection. Never let them see you sweat!
Trey made his way down and as he approached me, I fought harder to maintain my cool. “Daaaaaaaaamn!” he exclaimed, walking just a few feet away. When he got up so close that I could smell his cologne, I felt my legs chilling from nervousness. “You even better looking up close. What you say yo’ name is?” he asked as he slipped his arm around my shoulder.
He was quite the performer and his audience clearly loved it by their outbursts and chants. I chuckled ruefully, unfazed by his undeniable charm.
“Rayna,” I repeated.
“Oh, Rayna. That’s a sexy name for a sexy woman, baby.” He batted his long eyelashes.
I realized he was a lot taller than I gave him previously. I smiled. Trey, you don’t want it with Rayna, I flirted in my mind.
“Did you come alone? Please, god, say you came with ya’ girls!”
The room was filled with laughter. Even I had to chuckle at that one. He was good at this. I shook my head and gave a pouty lip to buffer the blow. I wasn’t alone although at least three women in the room wish I was.
“Damn,” he said smoothly and gave a deep exhale. My cheeks flushed. “Okay, gorgeous. Just before you burst through those doors and in to my dreams—I mean this room.” Another round of laughs from the room. He laughed, too. “I was asking someone to pick a old school Trey Songz hit that we can kick the show off with. I want to show a little evolution, you know what I mean, baby?” I couldn’t get past his accent, it really didn’t come across in his music.