by Belvin, Love
I couldn’t catch my breath. “He was that loud?”
“Yes, she was slapping the shit outta him, riding his little ass in the backseat.” Azmir shook his head at the image.
“But he’s like five foot two and she’s easily six feet!” I couldn’t stop laughing.
Azmir looked so carefree. I’ve laughed with him countless times, but this time it wasn’t about me or him, it was at the people in our circle, making us connected.
My laughter slowed as I soaked his presence in. He was gloriously masculine—virile—and extremely fine. His teeth were so perfect and his lips were too inviting. The black long sleeve tee he wore told secrets of his chiseled chest and made me recall his abdomen muscles. He sat reclined on the couch, very relaxed and tempting. Suddenly, I wanted him, so bad.
In my haze I hadn’t realized he’d stopped laughing and had locked eyes on me until I heard him ask, “Penny for your thoughts.”
His expression told me he knew exactly what was flowing through my mind. But I didn’t want to fall prey to his sexual prowess. “Dawn Taylor,” I spewed effortlessly in my resistance.
Without a flinch he confidently said, “…is fully aware that you are mine and I am exclusively yours.”
Warmth blanketed my body and I shivered at his words. But…
On a long sigh I said, “Azmir—”
“I handled it all wrong. And for that I’ve suffered and am truly regretful. It won’t happen again.” He shook his head remorsefully, his beautiful eyes not on me. “Rayna, I may have gotten you into a relationship that’s for the most part unconventional, but you must stop doubting your role in my life. There is no one else, and if that hasn’t been clear I only have myself to blame. When I asked you to share my home it was because I’d decided on you and only you. Kissing her was a huge mistake…one of the biggest in my life. You have my solemn promise, it won’t happen again.”
He was so absolute in his decree. I tried—tried desperately to take him at each word and suppress every doubt and ounce of fear that clouded my mind. I knew the sad reality was he’d had claimed my heart long before I moved in with him. I wanted something from Azmir, I wanted forever. However, his betrayal with Dawn left me afraid to go full steam ahead.
My eyes bounced all over the place and I shook my head in confusion. He picked it up and reached over to me, using his index finger to lift my chin.
“I fucked up…but this…this right here.” He gestured at the space between us. “This distance between us…my starvation of you…your need for me, it can’t go on.”
Huhn? “What need for you?” I asked in incredulity with wide eyes.
Azmir gave a mirthless chuckle and cocked his head to the side, pushing his tongue into his molars before saying, “Rayna, you’re in heat right now. Unless you haven’t kept up with your pills?”
I knew he was referring to my birth control pills, but what did that have to do with Dawn Taylor?
“Yeah, and…?”
“And…you’re still on the same cycle. Your period will start tomorrow. I can smell your arousal. I sensed it when I saw you earlier in the lobby of the rec. I can’t stand to know you’re in need and I’m not here to satisfy you.” Azmir was confident with his assumptions—well…facts. Crap! I hate that I have no privacy regarding my own person with him! It wasn’t going down like that.
“Arousal?” I blew air from my mouth in a scoff.
His head swung back in a hearty titter. My eyes stayed glued to him, begging his pardon. Then suddenly, he locked eyes on me and slowly pushed up on the couch, moving over to me. I stilled, not knowing what he was about to do, but was sure he was testing me. Azmir brought his delectable lips to mine, yet he didn’t touch me. His gaze still locked to mine and his eyes were mesmerizing. Suddenly I heard my accelerated breathing. He touched my lips with his. They were soft and moist.
He didn’t kiss me, but spoke into mine, “Tell me you don’t need me to straighten you out.”
From the moment the first push of breath hit my face, my neck gave out and I staggered, but I regained control. I had to say something. I couldn’t let him win.
“I—”
I attempted before his tongue retreated to the back of my mouth, interrupting my words and judgment. It was over. My hands moved up to his head and pulled him into me. I stroked the waves in his soft hair that was neatly cut into his usual Caesar style. In no time, I was reaching for the hem of his shirt. He helped me take it off and just when I thought I was in for a home run, I felt his undershirt. We managed that one, too. My fingers ran up and down his strapping back.
I moaned at the swift movements of his tongue that butterflied in my mouth. He was right, I needed him, so bad that I started removing my own pants and underwear. When I got them to my ankles, I started with his belt. He pushed my shirt up and unlatched my bra to shift it up. His tongue felt so masterful, dancing on my sensitive nipples. I nearly lost my mind. Trying to finish undoing his pants, I unzipped his jeans and went into his boxer briefs to pull him out, stroking him to express my appreciation of his firm presence, his length and powerful girth. I gave special attention to the large vein that ran the full length of him and fantasized about my tongue massaging it.
Azmir moaned into my breasts. “You’re going to cause my premature undoing. It’s been a while for me, too,” he purred. Be easy.
I looked him in the eyes and realized my mouth was wide opened by the cool air hitting it.
“I can’t wait. Give it to me,” I whispered and kicked off my pants and panties.
I lifted my sex to the tip of him, finding the right angle for him to enter and once I did, I pushed down on his hips with my lower legs and forcefully met him in a thrust, being sure to take in every inch of his abundance. Azmir’s eyes closed and his jaw flinched as he groaned loudly on top of me. I collapsed, separating our bodies and then pushed back up, bringing him into me again. This time I joined him in moaning. I did that several times before wrapping my legs around him tighter and slamming into him repetitively, taking no prisoners. And in seconds, Azmir’s body shuddered as he gave way to his orgasm. He fell on top of me and I kept with my upward thrusts to prolong his outer orbit float.
When he was done, he peered down at me, “Didn’t I tell you to take it slow? Got me performing like a fuckin’ teenager.” I loved when his Brooklyn tongue slipped.
I giggled and ordered, “Sit up.”
He maneuvered our bodies so that I was on top of him and pulled my shirt and bra off before kicking his sneakers, boxers and jeans off. Once properly positioned, I felt his fluids run down my canal, spilling onto him and I rode him with no holds bar, grabbing the back of the sofa. He felt so good inside me. I was so grateful for his steel erection that stood so tall against my swollen walls and wanted to take full advantage of it. Too many nights I’d succumbed to never feeling this again. Never having him again. But he was here, working me over.
He grabbed my cheeks behind me and massaged them in, driving me crazy. He didn’t kiss me, in fact, he laid his head back to get a full view of me bouncing on top of him. So badly I tried to keep a straight face and not give away how well he rubbed against that tender spot deep within, but when I took in all of my senses, like my breasts bouncing in the air, the smell of his cologne with natural body oil and his drunken gaze, my body gave way to my orgasm and my eyes dropped as though I was in excruciating pain. I opened up my mouth and let out sounds of a porn star. Azmir pushed me on and off him to intensify my euphoria until my cries turned into whimpers.
He rose and bent me over the coffee table to take me from behind. I still felt his juices mixed with mine on my inner thighs as he pulled my legs apart and entered me slowly. Azmir felt incredible and I became even more aroused by the way he gripped my hips, it caused heated blood to course through my veins.
In no time, his plunges sped up and for a moment I lost my grip on the table and my hand skidded against a portion that I could catch immediately before collapsing, accidentally
hitting the stereo remote, switching on the power. All of sudden Blu Cantrell’s voice came crooning loudly through the speakers, “…I’ll get over you one day!” Quickly, I tried to hit the power button to shut it off.
“No…no! We’re going to work this song out of your system!” he screamed over the music and he leaned over to push the remote from my reach. Before I knew it, he started plowing pleasurably into me relentlessly while my heartbreak theme song flowed richly from the speakers. Each time my concentration went to the song, my body’s submission to Azmir would reel me back into the fact that he was inside of me, making my insides quiver. I felt my orgasm stirring, but it was rivaled by the pain that the song was causing to dredge up in my heart again. Tears started forming from self-pity. My mind was at war with my body. It was a vicious internal struggle. Acute pains of betrayal hit my chest as Azmir’s strong girth caused flutters in my belly.
“No! Let it go!” he commanded over the piercing tune.
I wanted to, so desperately I did.
“I’m here. Right here…inside of you. I haven’t gone anywhere. You feel it….you feel me, here in the flesh,” he spoke in between palatable thrusts.
Whether I liked it or not, my body was about to explode. My head yanked back as I screamed Azmir’s name like I needed him. The orgasm wrecked my core as I clenched down on Azmir, beckoning him to join me…and he did, forcefully. I felt his body shutter powerfully behind me, reminding of his muscular frame and strong being.
Our reunion didn’t stop in my living room. When we were done, Azmir turned off the stereo and tossed the remote on the couch as if he had disdain for the song, as though he knew it had been a part of my coping mechanism while trying to get over him. A song he never knew.
Something hit me.
I dashed over to the front window in search of the black sedan with tinted windows, only I didn’t see it. To be sure of my theory I threw on Azmir’s shirt, he looked at me as though I was out of my mind. I stepped out onto my porch and frantically searched up and down my block for it, to no avail.
I came back in to him, “You’re too busy a man to sit and stakeout my home all day, so did you have someone do it for you?” My gape was piercing. I wanted answers.
His contorted expression and busying himself with gathering his clothes gave him away. He couldn’t even look me in the face.
“Did you?” my voice louder and sharper than before.
He returned it with a scowl. “C’mon, Brimm, you need to wash that shit off you.” He was making reference to the concoction of his bodily fluids mixed with mine that was now trickling down my thighs. Brooklyn had returned. But I would not be moved.
“I’m not going any where until you answer me.” I crossed my arms to enforce the statement.
He stood in place, stretching his shoulders and lengthening his spine. “What do you want me to say…that I, like a fucking sucker, let you walk out of our apartment at two in the morning and didn’t make sure you were safe? That I’d let you go and didn’t worry and wonder about your whereabouts? You want me to say that I went on as though we never happened?” He paused in his crisp tone. “I’m sorry, that’ll never happen.”
I walked over and stood directly in front of him, intrigued by his truths. “That doesn’t explain how you know I played that song this past week. I’m sure your spy didn’t include that tedious, little known fact in his reports to you,” I muttered.
His eyes went to the floor and then rolled down to me. He didn’t want to confess what his eyes had revealed. “I wasn’t ready to give you up,” Azmir barely managed the words.
My eyes closed in my overwhelming mystification. “This relationship is insane,” I said to myself or at least I thought I had.
“That’s because I’m crazy about you.” He gave a lungful exhale, “Listen, Rayna, I know this is a little intense and it does seem insane, but I’m just trying to hold on to you and at every turn you’re trying to get away. I’m not doing that shit no more.” Azmir was letting his Brooklyn twang slip a lot today. He wasn’t fighting for control of his emotions, something rare. “I gave you space and I’ve been miserable. I’ll do anything I need to…” His words failed.
I held my reservations, but seeing a dominant man in form and command be so ardent about his need for me was invigorating. It pulled at my heart and caused a quickening deep inside me. I couldn’t get enough of him. I pulled him back to my bedroom and straight into the shower where I let him wash our reproductive liquids off me and I returned the favor, but added a happy ending when I put him inside my mouth. I worked Azmir over like I needed air to breathe. My hard work and risk of wetting my hair in my small shower paid off when he shot warm creamy fluids down the back of my throat and I ferociously sucked every baby-making specimen out of him. Back in my bed, he had me clawing the sheets while he bobbed between my thighs greedily, forcing out octaves that I didn’t know I had in me. Azmir loved tasting me and expressed it every time.
We lay in bed breathing and talking.
Azmir’s dewy skin felt wonderful against mine as I wiggled between my new sheets. He laid on his back while I faced him on my side, admiring his frame.
“How has Yazmine’s visit been?”
“Fine, I’m guessing,” Azmir spoke leisurely. “She’s met Petey, Kid, and a few other people. I took her over to the Cobalt and to get her hair done at one of my salons.” His voice was deep and relaxed as his eyes were fixated on the ceiling.
“What about the recreation center?”
“Nah. I was waiting for us to get it together so that she can see where you work while there.”
Oh.
“How have things been between you two?” I wanted to know what was going on in his heart.
He exhaled through his nose as he considered my question. “I don’t know. I get that she’s here and for the most part, her maternal adoration is still there…like she’s really interested in getting to know me but…I don’t know how to pull her in.”
“Hmmmmmm…” I measured his words. That was loaded.
“Like…there are so many layers, so many underlying factors…and I was already working on you and making myself transparent to you…but a mother is different from your woman. It’s been very complicated.”
“Do you want her to know you? Do you want a close relationship with her?”
“I think I do. I just don’t know how. This shit didn’t come with a manual, you know?,” he said in deep thought.
“Well, don’t let her read that Vibe article. It may scare the crap out of her.” I had to go there…I knew it was unnecessary, but that was an issue for me.
His neck jerked and a grin formed on his beautiful lips as his brows knitted. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Crap! “I don’t know…” I sighed.
“Did you not like the article?” he turned his head to look at me for an answer.
I shook my head.
“Why?” he asked gently, sounding almost wounded.
“I don’t know…it was very personal and invasive.” I exhaled and collapsed my head on my pillow. “It stated facts that I didn’t know about you,” I confessed with a moue.
He sat up and turned his body to face me, “What did you not know about me?”
I looked up to see the grimace on his face. Did I upset him?
“Your net worth for starters. I felt a pang run through my belly when I read the amount. How could I have lived with you and not known that you were worth a half a billion?” I caught myself whining.
With a slight smirk and in the calmest tone he said, “That’s actually not accurate.”
See! “I knew they over-exaggerated it. Was that Dawn’s doing?” I asked dryly.
“Yes, that was her PR firm’s attempt at promoting my empire, but the figure is actually slightly underestimated.”
My head shot over to his and my eyes were widened in disbelief. “Wha—! Well, if that wasn’t correct then—” I cut myself off. “I’m afraid to ask!” I didn�
�t want to pry.
“Rayna, it’s okay. You can ask. It’s not something that I want made public for legitimate reasons, but I feel it’s necessary to share this with you.” His eyes were so genuine.
With my eyes, I gestured for him to spill the beans. He caught my drift and returned to his pillow.
“It’s closer to a billion, but as far as the IRS is concerned, my assets and earnings amount to about 573.8 million dollars, per last year’s filings.”
You could hear a pin drop in there. I was stunned. Why didn’t he tell me this before? It now made sense, how he was so adamant about spending freely on me, the car he loaned me because he never used it, staying in the best hotels, having paid off the posh apartment in Marina Del Rey, offering to buy my house. He’s filthy stinking rich! His fleet of luxury cars, the personal chef, regular security detail—all of these were the fittings of a wealthy man.
“Brimm,” he called me from my trance. “Say something,” his voice was hard, self-protective. It sounded so familiar—like mine.
“Y-you said you don’t like discussing it. I don’t want to meddle.”
“It’s not meddling coming from you,” he hissed, exasperated.
“What is it then?”
“It’s gaining pertinent information that concerns you…your future.”
“That’s how Kid got his car…” Another thought that I intended for internal use only.
“Kid is a long-term friend. I value his loyalty to me over the years. I’m a very private and complicated man. He’s understood that and has been very reliable throughout the years. It was an appropriate gift for a trusted friend.”
I was stuck.
He turned his head to me. “What did you think I earned before the article? You must have given it some thought.”
Whoa! I don’t think I did.
I started chronicling my time with him. “I don’t know…I mean, yeah, you had a Bentley with a driver, a lofty apartment on the water…businesses, a personal stylist…” I started to feel silly the more I thought out loud. “I don’t know…maybe close to a million…okay, at best two million? In all honesty, I never gave it much thought. I accepted it as all things that came along with your parcel…that it was all Azmir Jacobs. I’ve never dated a wealthy man before.”