He pursed his lips, prising something from between them with a finger. I imagined him then as a chess player, three moves ahead, consulting the board. Determined to make it look like he wasn’t taking the game seriously, when you knew he was. ‘It’s perfectly natural,’ he began, ‘to be asking yourself questions. But isn’t that what the school’s enquiry is for? It decides what happened, once and for all.’
As he spoke, I noticed this curious movement in his hands. At the mention of an ‘enquiry’ his left hand spun into an upturned claw, and the fingers wriggled as he spoke. I could only relate the movement to that of a crab, flipped onto its back.
I adjusted myself in the chair. I realized there was nothing to lose. Not now.
‘When I got the call about Marine, I came straight to the school. One of the secretaries - Lorraine, I think - reacted when a ‘David Walker’ was mentioned. Apparently he was the last to see her alive?’
‘Reacted?’ Kraver turned his head askew. ‘How do you mean, reacted?’
The puffing seemed to intensify.
‘Yes. When Lorraine was told that Mr. Walker had been with Marine, her exact reaction was ‘Oh God.’’
He looked past me.
‘Mr. Kraver?’ I asked. He nodded. I couldn’t read this eyes through the smoke. ‘I hear he was agency stuff, drafted in at the last minute?’
‘I don’t think you should pick on Katy. She was just doing her job. That would not be clever.’
The crab movement again. A strange, gestural scuttle. I wondered if it was a pokers tell.
‘I’m not questioning Katy about anything.’
‘Well that’s splendid.’
He stretched, and rocked on his chair. ‘Bad things happen in life. That’s the game we play. Some people deal with it, and others go looking for blame.’
‘I don’t want blame. I want an explanation of why this Lorraine -’
Kraver suddenly stood up. It was like a whip had been cracked. His mouth closed hard around the cigar. ‘I came to see you today, Ben, to check if the shock of your daughter’s death might effect you doing your job. But you’re making life hard for me, by reacting this way. Very hard indeed.’
‘I’m not sure what you mean?’
He raised his voice. ‘I wanted to see if you were fit and ready to return to work. But clearly, there are questions to be asked about that.’
‘Questions?’ I leant forward. As I did I saw that his skin had a matted, grizzled tone to it that I had never noticed before. ‘I merely wanted to check if -’
‘The enquiry will check all these things, Ben.’ He leaned forward, and his lips spread into a subtle smile. When he next spoke his voice was sonorous. It was rich enough to soak up any sense that his authority was being threatened. ‘That’s what they’re for. Isn’t it?’ The smile widened. ‘Eh?’
I realized he was speaking to me as if I was a child who’d dropped an ice-cream, and that he was telling me I could easily get another. For a moment I almost felt like that was the case. I gathered my thoughts.
‘So the enquiry will question everyone at the scene that day? Walker, Katy, Lorraine?’
He looked out of the window.
‘You’ve not been involved in an enquiry before, have you?’ The rich voice returned. He opened his palms. ‘I can tell,’ he said, shaking his head, as if sympathetic to that. Kraver moved around the desk. He positioned himself so he was stood over me, hands on his hips. The smoke had mixed with an intense aftershave to create an unusual scent. ‘Just let the enquiry take its course. In the fullness of time I am sure it will conclude that this was an unfortunate event …’
‘How do you know what it will conclude?’ I asked.
‘But in the meantime,’ he said, stretching the vowels. ‘I suggest -no I require - that you take some further time off. Time to recover. Don’t trouble the other staff about this. You’re a smart man. A man of the world, like me. A little shorter in the tooth perhaps, but we can’t hold that against you, can we? Either way, you know what a delicate operation it is, running a school.’
‘You’re forcing me to take leave?’
He moved to the door.
‘Your desk will be waiting for you when you return,’ he said, with a curt nod.
‘I’m more worried about my job. Can I have that in writing?’
‘You have my word, and as a principled man that will be enough for you. Won’t it?’ He raised his chin as he spoke, his face moving too high for me to catch his eye. ‘Good day to you, Mr. Pendleton,’ he announced, opening the door.
He turned to his secretary as I passed. ‘Marilyn,’ he said, ‘just give me a few minutes before my next appointment.’
‘I’m sorry Mr. Kraver,’ she said, ‘but Mr. Turner is already on his way up.’
‘Well, you’ve made a pig’s ear of my diary this morning, haven’t you?’ he said to her.
I lingered on the stairway, just out of his sight, as she apologized profusely. I heard the leafing of pages. ‘You’re an embarrassment on days like this, really,’ he was saying. ‘You either do it my way, or it’s the highway. Have I made that clear?’ he boomed.
EIGHT
I RUSHED TO TELL Juliette about this development. I got straight into the car, hurrying so much that I left some work documents I needed behind. Every traffic light was another barrier preventing me from releasing the pulsing, tension in my temples. In that meeting, in my mind, I had been fighting for answers that both Juliette and I needed. But Kraver had not only avoided helping, he had been positively aggressive during his evasions.
I parked the car on our street, my eyes following a girl in a scarlet coat, skipping at the end of it as I walked. I burst open the front door, leapt up the steps and pushed into our home. Juliette was standing in the living room window, with a white blanket around her shoulders. I couldn’t see what she was looking for, in the low light of the evening. As I caught my breath I wondered if she too was watching the little girl in the coat.
‘There’s going to be an enquiry,’ I said, placing my keys on the glass table. ‘Kraver told me today. I think there is more to all this than meets the eye.’
She paused, and I wondered if I heard a sniff. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, quietly.
‘The teaching assistant who was with Katy Fergus on the day was drafted in at the very last minute. When I was at the school his name was mentioned and one of the secretaries sounded very concerned to hear he was there.’
She turned to me. The ochre light from a streetlamp bathed half of her face.
‘What is it that concerned her?’
‘She didn’t tell me, and Kraver wouldn’t either.’
‘Will the enquiry tell us?’ she asked.
‘We have to make sure it does, don’t we?’ I said.
She stayed impassive. I wondered if I saw her bite her bottom lip.
‘For Marine,’ I said.
There was a momentary gap, and then her shoulders surged forward with a loud sob.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, rushing forward, putting my arms around her. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I need to keep a clear mind.’
She shook her head, moving it more and more vigorously as she considered my words. ‘You’re telling me someone might have been trying to hurt her?’
‘I’m going to get to the bottom of it. I know it’s upsetting - it’s not something I want to even consider, either.’
She lifted her head, and the light blasted onto her face as she looked up at me.
‘You don’t understand,’ she said. ‘You don’t understand why it’s not - why I can’t even think that someone might have been trying to …’
‘Of course I understand,’ I said.
She looked at me, and for a second her features seemed to be deciding on an expression. ‘I never told you,’ she said, grasping my hand.
‘Told me what?’
‘I thought you’d have figured it out.’
‘Figured out what?’
The light
intensified.
‘I can’t think about someone trying to hurt Marine. It is my worst nightmare. When I was a little girl …’
‘No,’ I said, smoothing her hair.
She nodded.
‘My father.’
I lifted her head. I held her gaze, my eyes interrogating her face, as she slowly began to nod. The strong link between our eyes grew even more intense. ‘Oh, Juliette,’ I said. ‘I didn’t - I sometimes wondered if something had happened to make you so … reticent.’
She cocked her head and began to cry. The pain, seeping out of her, was so great it was bewildering. So that was why she hadn’t wanted her parents nearby. I held her, inhaling her scent, trying to breathe life into her body. The news was strangely liberating, in a horrible way. I craved more explanations.
I tried to carve a path through these thoughts, but they were too thick. Juliette’s shoulders hunched, and I felt her become impenetrable. ‘I really believe you’ll be able to get some closure if we know what happened to Marine,’ I said.
Juliette was immobile, and the remark rang out in the room, hollow and stupid.
I felt a surge of relief when the doorbell burst into life.
I paced downstairs, surprised at the chill of the outside world. When I opened the door, Katy was standing there, pensive. From under a red beret, her white-blonde curls were swaying in the wind. She seemed too anxious to smile.
‘I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Pendleton,’ she said.
‘I was going to come looking for you, strangely enough,’ I said, noticing her nose was red from the cold.
‘Shall I come in?’
I glanced behind me, at the dank stairwell. ‘It’s not a good time for that. Let’s go for a drink. Somewhere warm,’ I said.
NINE
THE PUB WAS almost empty. I’d chosen one that I knew would be desultory at this hour, and it hadn’t let me down. As Katy sipped her Bloody Mary I spoke fast. Quiz machines pulsed distant melodies as I told her of Lorraine’s reaction, and Kraver’s threat. I tried to read the expression on her face, grasping my warm Guinness as I spoke. It wasn’t that she seemed to be restraining her reactions, but her impassive face offered the impression of someone accustomed to hiding their feelings.
Once I’d finished she leant forward. Looking at her hands, Katy seemed determined to choose the correct words. I noticed then how doll-like she was, this young teacher who seemed to be sharply aware that she was about to swim out of her depth. I wondered what private negotiations had driven her to seek me out.
‘In that case, I’m so glad I called around tonight,’ she said. ‘I wonder why my conscience didn’t force me to sooner.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Walker’s story to the police was not accurate at all. I tried to tell them on the hillside, but I’m not sure they took it in. You see, I was walking at the front of the procession, and Walker’s job was to ensure there were no stragglers. It’s impossible that Marine could have broken away, as at that point the pathway was narrow, lined with hedges on both sides. She would have had to pass him to fall out of the line.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘When I heard Walker tell the police that she broke away, I assumed he was just panicking. Having chewed it over, I wanted to come to you to set the record straight. But this talk of Lorraine’s reaction has got me thinking.’
She curled a lock of hair over her ear, inhaling steadily.
‘I wasn’t very happy that someone the children didn’t know was appointed to assist me on the field trip. Experienced teachers like Miss Granger were also free that day, so I had no idea why Kraver appointed someone new. Or ignored my request for a second assistant. I found this Walker bloke a little odd on the coach ride out to the moor. He kept encouraging the children to sing, and I remember wondering if he’d even been with children before. I remember saying ‘you don’t need to worry about this and that, you just back me up when I ask you to do something’. He seemed so keen to agree to everything I said, I just assumed it was nerves. Inexperience.’
‘Okay.’
‘But then, on the field trip, I became quite irritated with him. Having given him the job of being at the back of the crocodile, I did a head count at one point and we were two girls short. I had to force the whole trail to a standstill and rush back to see what the hell was going on. Walker was showing Marine, and another girl, flowers in the hedgerows. I had to tell him to get them to rejoin the trail so we could keep going.’
‘Jesus.’ I put my head in my hands.
‘Wait a minute,’ she said. ‘See what you think of this. Twenty minutes later I did another head count, and we were one down again. I rushed back to see who was missing, and it was Marine. I was panicking now, as at the front of the line I was making these girls wait, and I couldn’t quite see them through the mist. I ran back to the back to see what was going on and Walker was quite far away from where the line ended. I said ‘what on earth are you doing? You just need to keep the girls in the line.’ He had this look on his face which was - it was like he was embarrassed. Deeply embarrassed. I asked him what was going on. He told me that Marine had broken away to look at flowers, and that she was dangerously near the cliff edge. I told him to go and get her while I got all the girls together in a group, where I could see them. I was panicking now. As quickly as possible I tramped closer to the cliff edge, wondering where the hell Marine had gone. Walker was shouting out for her. I heard a noise, a small scream and - in retrospect, I think that could have been the moment Marine fell.’
I shook my head, tried to bury the feeling in my gut.
‘Why would Marine have refused to rejoin the procession?’
‘This is just it. I’m starting to wonder if she ran when she saw Mr. Walker coming.’
I ran my hands through my hair.
‘Oh my god,’ I said. ‘What do you mean?’
She took a long draught of her Bloody Mary. I noticed her Hello Kitty purse on the table, and the illuminated desktop on her mobile phone, next to it. It held a picture of a blonde burlesque dancer, swinging from a trapeze. I wondered if it was her. I’ve never considered her to be more than Marine’s teacher, I thought. But she maintains a whole world behind the scenes that is kept hidden. Yet here she is, risking its exposure.
‘What I’m saying is, I wonder if it was more than just incompetence which allowed Marine to get close to the cliff edge.’
Something in me snapped.
‘Promise me something,’ I said. ‘Promise me that when Kraver calls on you to speak in the enquiry, you say all you said just now.’
‘I’m thinking of emailing him tomorrow.’
The mildness of her language irritated me. Dealing with Kraver, I somehow knew that accuracy - complete precision - was required. It frustrated me to think that the sharpness of her intent would soon be blunted by my absence.
‘You do that,’ I said. I took a few heady, long slugs of Guinness. ‘It’s so important the school has this evidence for their investigation. And that the jury hear this when the legal investigation begins.’
‘So what’s the next move?’ she asked.
‘The next move is, I find Lorraine and get to the bottom of what she knows about this Walker. First thing tomorrow morning.’
‘I’m worried that if you go storming in there Kraver will be aggressive towards you. He’s clearly a man who puts his ambitions first. I’m told the reason Miss Gregor wasn’t approved as a third member of staff was because he seconded her to the New Eden site. But we’re understaffed as it is.’
‘I don’t have a choice about telling Kraver. If he wraps up the investigation quickly, without taking all this into account, it’ll be hard to get to the truth.’
‘What does Juliette think?’ Katy asked, grasping her drink.
‘Right now, she’s barely present. She can’t handle all this, and who can blame her? Finding out exactly what happened that day is the only way to get her back, I think.’
&n
bsp; ‘The d-. The accident. It happened very recently. It’s normal that she needs to mourn, isn’t it? Just give her time.’
‘I don’t feel like we have time. Something irreparable has happened to Juliette. She’s given up. It’s not just like I am fighting for the truth. It’s like I am fighting to get her back, as well.’
+ + + + +
The following Monday, I waited on a bench in the car park outside the school reception. A light layer of frost seemed to have bubbled through the cracks of the city in the night. I stood up, fast, when a matronly woman with a set of keys arrived. ‘Can I help you?’ she asked, finding the keyhole.
‘I’m here to talk to Lorraine.’
‘Shouldn’t be long. Come in. You’ll catch your death.’
Once I was inside a woman who I remembered as Rose caught a glimpse of me through the frosted window of the reception as she parked her car. Having gathered her belongings she seemed to be making her way rather reluctantly to the door. The moment she had opened it I was on my feet.
‘I was wondering if I can speak to Lorraine?’ I asked her.
‘Oh,’ she said, flustered. ‘There’s been a bit of a carry on with her. Lorraine got a call on Friday. She’s been seconded.’
‘Where to?’
‘The New Eden site. You know, that new campus?’
She kept nodding as I followed her into the open plan office, where the only sound was from the low buzz of computers, waiting to be reminded of their purpose. The scent of recent coffee, harsh and instant, laced the air. ‘We were a bit surprised, to be honest, that she was relocated so suddenly,’ she continued, throwing a file onto a desk. ‘She was only just beginning to settle down here.’
I closed the door behind us. Rose, unzipping her jacket, seemed to be waiting for my inevitable question.
‘Do you have her number?’
She bit her lip. ‘No,’ she said.
‘But you’ve heard about my daughter’s death, I take it?’
‘Yes,’ she said,’ clasping her hands in front of her. She shook them for a moment. ‘I’m sorry. It’s the worst kind of loss. My son lost a daughter on a boating accident a few years ago. Him and his wife have only just stopped reeling.’
An Honest Deceit Page 6