by Nikki Turner
“I wouldn’t joke around with nothing like this. A reliable source told me that you were messing with him, and she also told me to congratulate you on something pertaining to him.”
Porsha started to catch an attitude. “To hell with your reliable source. I’m offended that you’re over here asking me some bullshit like this. We’re supposed to be friends, Keysha. I thought we were better than this. I would never fuck with Tremaine, and he ain’t even my type. You over here talking real crazy. I know you and him been through some crazy shit, but how dare you come over here and talk this madness to me?”
Porsha seemed like she was telling the truth. I regretted coming over here with this crazy talk. She must have thought I was a damn fool. Then for me to believe that trick Monica. I had to be out of my mind.
“I—I apologize for coming to you like this, but why does it smell like Tremaine in here? I’m serious too, Porsha. As soon as I walked through that door, I could smell him.”
Porsha pursed her lips and shook her head. “You ain’t smelling him up in here. He has no reason to be over here, and if he ever came over here I would slam the door right in his face. It seems to me that you got it real bad for that nigga. Anytime you can smell him everywhere you go, something is really wrong with that.”
I was too embarrassed. My face had cracked and this was not a good look for me. I had a headache and needed to go home to rest my damn mind. This whole thing with Tremaine had me tripping.
“I get what you’re saying, Porsha, and maybe I do need to go chill out for a while. Go ahead and get some sleep. I must say that you over there looking real tired.”
“I am. Definitely need my beauty rest, so my dear friend, we’ll talk tomorrow. I’m sorry about what happened between us at the nail shop, and you know I don’t mean half of the stuff I say.”
“Well, I do,” I said, laughing. “But it’s all good. I apologize too.”
We hugged each other and Porsha walked me to the door.
“If you don’t mind me asking you this, who was the so-called reliable source that told you me and Tremaine were fucking? I want to know so I can cuss that mofo out.”
“I’m too ashamed to say it, only because I know how the trick is and I shouldn’t have listened to her.”
“Who? Tell me.”
“Monica. I stopped by their house tonight, looking for Tremaine. Monica told me he was here with you. She also told me to tell you congrats, and the heifer tried to imply that you were pregnant by Tremaine.”
Porsha shook her head. “I could slap you for believing that bullshit, but I love you too much and won’t go there. I’m glad you stopped by so we could clear this shit up, and the next time I see Monica, she gon’ get it. I wonder why she chose me of all people. She could have said anybody else, but me. I guess she wanted us to start fighting each other, and that would have been right up her alley.”
“Right. But it’s over and done with. I’ll deal with Tremaine tomorrow. As for her, I’ll deal with her another time.”
Porsha nodded and watch me as I headed toward my car, feeling some kind of way about our little discussion. As I got in my car, I realized that I didn’t have my keys. I searched my pockets and looked around inside of my car. Then it hit me. I had forgotten my keys on the living room table. Porsha had closed the door, but when I stepped up to it, I noticed it was cracked. I went ahead and let myself in. I was getting ready to say something, but I could hear Porsha talking on the telephone. As I moved toward the kitchen to where she was, I eavesdropped on her conversation that sounded real interesting.
“Can you believe that shit,” she said with her back turned. “You need to find out how Monica knows about us and kick her ass for spreading our business. She be all up in your business, boo, and she probably got a private detective watching you.” Porsha paused then laughed. “Yeah, I know. It is what it is, and I miss you already. Your baby misses you too, but we gon’ try to get some sleep, now that your idiotic baby’s mama is gone. I can’t believe she came over here, and the look on her face was so funny. She actually smelled yo’ ass in here, and I was like really? You really smell that nigga up in here? I thought I was busted, but next time don’t wear that cologne, okay?”
Porsha laughed again. I stood in the kitchen’s doorway in shock. My eyes were bugged and I could barely move. None of this felt good to me, simply because all of these idiotic, stupid, dumb, slow titles I had heard about myself were starting to apply. I trusted way too many people and how stupid could I have been not to see through Porsha’s lies.
“Okay, handsome. See you soon and be sure to check that bitch Monica when you get home. Also, be careful out there tonight. Keysha is on the loose, and ain’t no telling what she may do to you. You need to tell her to go sit her ass down. She knows she be working me.”
Porsha chuckled and turned around. That’s when she saw me standing in the doorway. Her face fell flat and she barely got out the word “good-bye” before I charged into the kitchen and slammed my fist into her stomach. The phone dropped from her hand and she grabbed her belly while bending over.
“Oh my God!” she shouted. “It hurts. My stomach hurts!”
“Good, ’cause I’m on the loose and I want that shit to hurt more!”
I felt as if my punches weren’t hurting enough. And to me, the bitch was faking. Knowing so, I picked up a black skillet that was on the stove and started wearing that hooker out. She crouched down and tried to block my hard blows. I pounded her ass everywhere I could, especially in her stomach as she now laid sideways on the floor.
“You trifling, skank bitch!” I shouted. “This is what you get for betraying me! How could you, Porsha? How could you fuck with Tremaine, knowing damn well how I feel about him!”
“I didn’t know!” she screamed. “I swear. I didn’t know you still loved him!”
“But you knew he was my baby’s daddy, didn’t you! Don’t lie, bitch! You knew it! And before I go sit the fuck down, I’ma lay yo’ ass down!”
When she opened her mouth to lie again, I hit her in the face with the skillet. Her teeth cracked and her head jerked back. Blood gushed from her mouth and all she could do was cover her head with her arms. That left her stomach open. I punted her midsection like I was kicking a football. When she lowered her hand to secure her stomach, that’s when I hit her with the skillet again. I tore her ass up, until she dropped her limp arms by her side and could barely move.
“I hope his dick was worth it to you,” I said then dropped the bloody skillet on the floor as I stood over her. “Let this shit be a lesson to you. Never ever fuck with a nigga who done had his dick up in me. If you want to be somebody’s friend, be that friend, not a motherfucking foe.”
Before I left, I punted that heifer one last time. I was so sure that she would reach out to Tremaine, but hopefully I would get to him before she did.
Chapter Six
Tremaine
I had been gone all day. I knew when I left that I wasn’t coming back within the hour because I didn’t want to see Monica moping around all day long, crying and fussing about the things I’d done. I’d be the first to admit that when it came to relationships, I wasn’t shit. I was a dog. I didn’t always treat women the way in which they wanted or needed to be treated, and I definitely had some work to do. Thing is, I didn’t have the time to give no bitch what she really needed in her life. I made that clear to everybody, that’s why I didn’t understand why I kept catching hell all of the time. All they said they ever wanted was the truth. But when a nigga told them the truth, they weren’t trying to hearing it.
For a long time, Monica kept her mouth shut. But things were starting to change and I didn’t like it. That’s what made me stay at Keysha’s house the other night. That was a big mistake. All that did was make her think there was hope between us. Truthfully, there wasn’t. All I wanted to do was take care of Keith and be done with it. But Keysha acted as if the two of them came as a package. Just because I didn’t want her, that di
dn’t mean I didn’t want him. Sometimes, I felt like taking my kids and running away from all of these bitches. If I didn’t have to deal with my kids’ mamas, I would run in a heartbeat. But someway or somehow, I did have to deal with them. There was no getting around it.
After I left Porsha’s house, I stopped by to chat with Papa James about how to handle everything on our trip. He had been planning this for months so I wanted everything to go smoothly. I was more than ready to do whatever I needed to do to add more paper to our stack. The moment I left Papa James’ crib, that’s when Porsha had called me. I was in shock that Keysha had been to see her, but even more in shock when I called home and Monica told me Keysha had stopped by there too. When Monica told me she was the one who sent Keysha to Porsha’s crib, I was outdone.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said. “Is it hard for you to mind your own business?”
“You are my business, Tremaine, and that’s my problem. I can’t do this anymore. You think it’s totally okay for you to be out there in the streets doing whatever the hell you want, while I stay here with the kids all day doing nothing. And now that Porsha is pregnant, all you’re going to do is tell me to accept it and flaunt your new baby around over here. You must think I’m some type of damn fool, and why don’t you respect me enough to know that this is wrong? You say you love me, but love shouldn’t feel like this. This material shit is not enough for me to turn a blind eye and pretend that none of this is happening.”
“I know you’re upset, but you already know the deal with me. If you’re at your breaking point, I can’t do anything about that. If you feel as though it’s time for you to walk, then do it. Like I said earlier, I’m not going to stop you or hold you back. All I want you to do is make time for me to see my kids. That’s all I want you to do, because, truthfully, nothing else really matters.”
I could hear Monica sniffling over the phone. “How can you say this? How can you be so cold and act like you don’t care? I’ve given you years and years of my life, Tremaine. And now you’re talking like you don’t care about us anymore.”
“I do care, ma, but I’m not going to cry about your decision to walk away from me. I’m not going to change who I am, and I’m not going to accommodate nobody’s situation but my own. You want to speak on our years together, but over the years, Monica, I’ve given you everything. Anything you ever wanted, all you’ve had to do was ask for it. I tried to show you that I love you more than anyone, and even though I may do my thing in the streets, I always come home to you. The bitches who I fuck with know who I love. They know that when I do settle down, I’ll eventually be with you. Unfortunately, my clock is different than yours. What you want right now, I can’t give it to you. I’m sorry, but if the love I’m offering ain’t enough, what else can I do?”
“It’s not enough. Good-bye, Tremaine. I called Vivica to come over here and watch Keith and Lamar. By the time you get here, I’ll be gone. I’ll call you in a few days to let you know where I’ll be. I promise not to keep your kids from you, but understand that I need time to sort things out.”
I was hurt that Monica was leaving, but I wasn’t about to plead and beg her to stay. As I sat silent over the phone, a call beeped in. When I looked to see who it was, it was Keysha calling. I ignored her calls, but she kept calling back.
“Hold on,” I said to Monica. “Don’t hang up and don’t go anywhere, all right?”
I clicked over. “Let me hit you back later.”
“No need,” she snapped. “Why didn’t you tell me you were fucking with Porsha and that she was having your baby?”
My face twisted from hearing her loud voice. “Man, I don’t have time for this. I said let me hit you back.”
“And I said you’re a low down, dirty-ass nigga! You ain’t shit Tremaine, I swear yo’ ass ain’t nothing!”
“I agree. Now, good-bye.”
I clicked back over, but Monica had hung up. When I tried to call her back, she wouldn’t answer. Then I couldn’t dial out at all because Keysha’s calls kept coming through, back to back.
“What!” I shouted into the phone. “We both agreed that I’m not shit, so what else do you want!”
“Why?” she said. “Why in the hell would you go behind my back and screw my friend? Then to get her pregnant was foul! Didn’t you know I would find out? What were you going to say to me then, Tremaine?”
“Honestly, I really didn’t care. I don’t care about none of this, Keysha, and now that you know Porsha is pregnant, maybe you’ll be gone and you’ll stop fucking harassing me all the goddamn time.”
“Nigga please. I’m never going to stop harassing you, and as long as you’re Keith’s daddy, I intend to make your life a living hell. As for you and Porsha’s baby, you can forget about that shit. There won’t be no baby because I just went to her house and beat that muthafucka out of her. By now, she may need your help, so I suggest you get back over there and go see about that bloody bitch.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening right now. I had just gotten off the phone with Porsha and everything sounded all good. No matter what was going on, everything had to wait. I had to go home and see what was up with Monica before I did anything else. I didn’t want her to leave with my kids. I had a feeling that if she jetted, it would be a long time before I saw them again.
“I hope to God that you’re lying. If you did anything like that to Porsha and her baby, you know you’re going to jail don’t you? If you do, what is Keith going to do? You need to calm the fuck down, Keysha, and think about shit before you act.”
“Don’t worry about Keith. I got him all taken care of, me and his daddy both. And surprise, surprise, Tremaine. His daddy is not you. All I ever wanted was your damn paper, along with some of your dick. Now that I’ve gotten enough of that, feel free to bring my son back home. We’re done with you now. With all these kids you got, yo’ ass gon’ be too broke to support us.”
I didn’t know if Keysha was bullshitting or not. But by now, sweat beads dotted my forehead, my palms were sweating as I gripped the steering wheel, and my heart was racing. There were plenty of times when I felt as if Keith didn’t look like me. Plenty of times when Papa James questioned me about him, and my boys insisted that he wasn’t my son. But I didn’t want to believe it. I had made a real connection with Keith that I didn’t want to let go of.
“Keysha, you’re playing with fire. If you’ve lied to me out of spite and for money, I swear I’m going to kill you. Why in the fuck would you put Keith in the middle of this, huh?”
“He’s not in the middle of anything. And if he is, he won’t be for long, daddy. You can threaten to kill me all you want to, but come morning, there will be a restraining order against you. Don’t come near me, and what you can do is drop my son back off at my mama’s house where you got him. After that, our little deed is done. Good riddance to you, and thanks for playing the fool for years! Sucker!”
Keysha hung up, causing a rage of fury to lock in my eyes. I wanted to turn around and go beat her motherfucking ass. I also wanted to go see about Porsha too, but Monica first. I had to get to Monica then I would see what was up with this situation with Keith then Porsha.
With my mind racing a mile a minute, I slammed on the accelerator, causing my sports car to go faster. By the time I hit the highway, I was going way over a hundred miles an hour. My car whipped through traffic, but all of a sudden a slow pickup truck jumped right in front of me. I slammed on my brakes, but by then it was too late. The impact was so powerful that my car flipped over and my body went straight through the windshield. My eyes fluttered and all I remembered seeing was a cloud of thick white smoke. The smell of burnt rubber filled my nostrils and my entire body was numb. After that, darkness hit me.
Chapter Seven
Tremaine
All day, every day. The loud beeping sounds was all I could hear. I couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, and couldn’t even open my eyes. Then again, if I strained hard enough, I could open
them. My vision was blurred and my mouth was so dry that I could taste blood in the cracks of my lips. I tried to wiggle my fingers, but nothing happened. Attempted to turn my head, but it stayed still. Above me was a squeaking ceiling fan and a bunch of white lights. I heard several people mumbling, but my eyes couldn’t shift in their direction. I had no idea how long I’d been lying there, but to me it seemed like a very long time. There was no smell, no nothing. Not even any pain. My thoughts of lying there like this caused tears to rush to my eyes. I could feel those tears running down the corners of my eyes. I tried to blink, but my eyes remained focused on the bright, blinding lights.
After lying there for a while, a pretty face appeared before me. I had no idea who it was, and her voice was so soft that I could barely make out her words. I tried to tell her to speak up, but my mouth wouldn’t move. It wasn’t until I saw a baby in her arms that I realized that the chick speaking to me had to be Monica.
“Home,” she said in a whisper. “Come home now Tremaine. I want you back. We need you to come back.”
I tried to lift my hand to wipe her tears, but no go. I wanted to hold my child, especially when I heard him crying. Monica rocked him in her arms, trying to quiet him. But as time went on, the cries got louder and louder. Those cries turned into laughter and another chick appeared. Monica stepped away so she could have her say. Her voice was sassy, so I could tell it was Bree.
“What happened to you, Tremaine? I thought you were going to stop by later? Every time you tell me that shit, I get my hopes up. But it is what it is because you know I’ma get mine.”
Bree smiled at me and held my hand with hers. I couldn’t even feel her touch. I tried to smile but couldn’t. Wanted to tell her to wait for me tonight, but I suspected that I wasn’t going to make it.
As I was able to shift my eyes to the left, I saw Porsha with tears streaming down her face. She was holding her belly and kept shaking her head. “What am I going to do?” she cried. “I don’t know how I got myself in this predicament, but you gotta get up and help me figure this shit out. I can’t do this all by myself, Tremaine. I need you and I’m so afraid right now.”