Thankfully, Christian community is not all bad news. Churches can be wonderful places for making friends, experiencing spiritual and emotional growth, finding opportunities to help those in need, or just learning more about the splendor of a faith anchored in a loving God. No church is perfect, but if you keep an open heart and mind you will encounter real blessings in your faith community.
Joining a church is a lot like getting married. You can date as many people as you want before you put on the ring, but once you've made a commitment, stick with it. In other words, if you're not currently a member of a church, explore your options. Do your homework. Examine what each denomination actually teaches. Learn the main characteristics of the church you are considering. If you want to join a church that feeds the homeless and engages in political activism, find out if the church you're considering welcomes that kind of passion.
Among the various Christian denominations and even among different congregations in the same denomination, you will find communities with markedly different priorities. Some welcome gay and lesbian individuals and couples; others see that as a betrayal of church tradition. Some emphasize raising money to build homeless shelters; others raise money to send missionaries overseas. Some fight abortion clinics; others fight urban sprawl. Some have many women in ordained ministry and leadership roles; others are adamant that only men belong in these positions. Ultimately, there's no need to stay away from church because you fear that your political or social values won't be welcome. If that is your worry, then you simply haven't found the right church yet. Of course, no matter how much you feel at home in a community, sooner or later it will challenge one or more of your deeply held beliefs. Part of being a Christian is learning how to love people even when you disagree with them and the more bitterly you disagree, the more powerful the lesson in love.
Here is a brief summary of different churches to help you get started on your search for the place where you belong.
• Eastern Orthodox, Eastern Catholic, and Roman Catholic churches. Generally speaking, these churches have the most elaborate rituals, a rich tradition of history and theology, and many resources to help you pursue the contemplative life, including monasteries and convents where you can make retreats and often find spiritual directors. These churches typically are socially and theologically conservative, restricting the priesthood (ordained ministry) to men. Some religious orders, however, especially within Catholicism in the United States, have a more liberal culture and identity. Unlike most Protestant churches, these churches also foster devotion to the saints of the Christian tradition, with special devotion given to Mary, mother of Jesus. The Eucharist, the ceremony of Holy Communion, is built around an understanding that the bread and wine, once consecrated, miraculously become the real body and blood of Christ.
• Episcopal churches. These churches are part of the Anglican Communion affiliated with the Church of England. They are the bridge between the Orthodox and Catholic churches on the one hand, and Protestant churches on the other. Some Anglican parishes are ceremonially and theologically very similar to Catholicism, while others have more of an evangelical identity. Most Episcopal churches in the United States are socially liberal, with women priests and, increasingly, openly gay and lesbian clergy as well.
• Protestant churches. Because Protestantism began as a reform movement critical of Catholicism, many Protestant churches have rejected or remain wary of spiritual practices that have traditionally been associated with mysticism, but that also originated prior to the Reformation (contemplative prayer, the Daily Office, lectio divina, personal spiritual direction, and frequent reception of Holy Communion). For this reason, the teachings of many Christian mystics who came out of the Orthodox or Catholic traditions have not been embraced in the Protestant world. But Protestantism, with its focus on Bible study and personal commitment to discipleship, nevertheless can support anyone seeking an intimate relationship with God through Christ. Indeed, some Protestant leaders truly deserve to be called mystics,30 and in our time, Protestant teachers like Richard J. Foster and Marjorie Thompson have championed the disciplines and practices necessary for entering into contemplative spirituality. Trying to navigate the world of Protestantism can be daunting, since so many different sects and denominations exist. Some of the larger churches, like the United Methodists or the United Church of Christ, are socially and theologically liberal, whereas the Southern Baptists and many smaller or independent evangelical or Pentecostal churches are much more conservative.
• The Quakers. The Religious Society of Friends, based on the teachings of George Fox, is particularly friendly to mysticism. The Quakers emphasize a spirituality based on listening to the "inner light," or "that which is of God," which can be found in everyone. Each Quaker community is governed by consensus; the denomination is characterized by a strong commitment to peace and social justice. The "unprogrammed" style of worship emphasizes silence and simplicity, rather than the performance of a liturgy or sacramental rites.
• House churches. These are small, usually independent, communities of people who worship in each other's homes, generally without paid clergy or any commonly held church property. If you want a truly intimate and small-scale church experience, this is an option worth considering. In fact, even mainstream churches have various programs or orders that are organized around small groups meeting in people's homes, so this is an avenue to pursue even if you join a typical church. Like Protestantism in general, house churches vary widely in their personality and theological perspective, so don't assume that they are all created equal. Some are liberal, some conservative; some emphasize evangelical discipleship with no defined leadership, while others have an "independent Catholic" identity. Any particular house church may or may not be the best place for you to nurture your ongoing relationship with God, so consider all your options. Since house churches do not have readily visible public meeting spaces, you may have to search online or ask around to discover house churches in your neighborhood.
• Emergent communities. One of the newest movements within the Christian faith as a whole, emergent (also called "emerging" or "emergence") Christian communities are dedicated to discovering new and innovative ways to be faithful to the gospel today. Emergent groups can take many forms, but often they appeal to young persons with a commitment to environmental and social justice, and a willingness to incorporate elements of popular culture into their worship experience. Sometimes, what is "new" for the emergents may actually be something quite old, however, and so, through emergent communities, many Christians are discovering for the first time the long-forgotten practices of contemplative spirituality. The emergent movement represents an exciting development in the overall Christian community, as believers from Protestant and evangelical backgrounds are, without abandoning their immediate roots, finding new meaning and purpose in practices like the Daily Office, contemplative prayer, working with a spiritual director, and even gathering together in intentional "neomonastic" communities. If you choose to join a church where the pastor or the lay leadership are excited about the emergent conversation, you may find that it is a congenial community for exploring the mystical dimension of the Christian faith.
How can you tell if a community is right for you? It's a question of discernment. Certainly, praying about it is an important part of the process, and simply being aware of your own thoughts and feelings is important. If you're having difficulty deciding, turn to the guidance of a trusted mentor or elder or even a good friend to help you sort out your perspectives. I believe that one of the reasons so many people feel disillusioned with the institutional church is because we subconsciously expect our community of faith to be perfect, which of course is unrealistic. The perfect faith community does not exist, so finding a "good enough" church ought to be the goal of your discernment. Every church is composed of fallible human beings just like yourself, prone to errors and mistakes. Forgiveness is just as essential to happy church membership as it is to a happy marriage.
JOINING YOUR FAITH COMMUNITY
Once you have found the church you want to join, what's next?You may need to go through a newcomer's class, or perhaps a formal ceremony by which you are made a member of the church. If you have not been baptized, that will be part of the process. Even if you have been baptized, there still may be a ceremonial act by which you join. This may be as informal as being prayed over during a Sunday morning service or, in the Catholic and Anglican churches especially, receiving the rite of confirmation.
Once you are a member, there's more to it than just showing up on Sunday. Get involved. Make a financial pledge (just do it); sign up for a class; show up on cleaning days; pitch in with a ministry to the homeless or some other worthy effort; find a way to contribute to worship leadership sing, read, or assist with Holy Communion. In particular, look for ways to give to others for example, through ministry to the sick or to those in need. None of this is particularly "mystical" or even "contemplative," but this is equivalent to a beginning pianist learning to play scales. It may not sound like music, but it is the foundation on which real music can be built.
Joining a community of faith will bring joy to your life, especially as you get to know people and make friendships that often prove to be lifelong. On the other hand, as a nonprofit, largely volunteer-driven organization, a church can make a major claim on your time and energy. Part of successful church membership is learning how to say "no" to opportunities to serve that are beyond your ability to give joyfully. I once heard a wise pastor tell his congregation it was okay to be involved in the church at whatever level is right for you. He knew that, for some, the church was the center of their social lives, so, if they spent ten to twenty hours a week on the church grounds, it was all time well spent. Others, however, may have to balance church involvement with a host of other family, social, and volunteer commitments, and therefore need to enforce strict boundaries when deciding how to invest their time.
If you are serious about pursuing contemplative spirituality, remember that it requires its own investment of your time, beyond what you give to your faith community. Lectio divina, prayer, meditation, contemplation, and study of the Bible and the writings of the mystics all take time and are most effective when practiced on a daily basis. You can easily devote three hours a day to your spiritual practice. And while you may not choose to put quite that much time into it, it's important to remember that your contemplative discipline is just one more commitment you will need to balance against the social demands of your church community.
Those who are drawn to contemplative and mystical spirituality are often introverts who find solitude refreshing and can feel overwhelmed by large groups or too much social interaction. As Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church, points out, churches as social organizations typically are geared more to the expectations and the needs of extroverts than introverts. If you are an introvert, bear in mind that you may have to find quiet or more intimate ways to participate in your faith community. Some churches, particularly in large urban areas, may have thousands of active members. When congregations get this big, going to church can feel like attending a performance in a super-sized sanctuary/ auditorium complete with a sound system, large projected images of the minister or speakers, and (unfortunately) an overall impersonal atmosphere. Thankfully, not all churches are so large. But sometimes even a "normal sized" congregation with several hundred members can feel more "institutional" than "familial."
Some churches combat the impersonal quality of these big congregations by forming small groups that gather for a more personal spiritual experience. These groups can take a variety of forms based on their mission, their location, and their affiliation with a large church (or lack thereof). For those interested in Christian mysticism, two kinds of groups are particularly helpful: centering prayer groups and monastic associate groups. Although both of these smaller-scale Christian communities have their roots in Catholic spirituality, they are becoming increasingly ecumenical in nature, meaning that Christians of all denominations are welcome to participate.
Centering prayer or Christian meditation groups. For contemplatives, these small groups are ideal settings for communal spirituality, since their focus is on silent prayer. They sometimes follow the teachings of a particular Christian author for example, centering prayer groups generally follow the teachings of Thomas Keating. Beginners are usually welcome at their meetings, and they sometimes offer training to help newcomers become familiar with the experience of meditation and silent prayer. Centering prayer groups are almost always ecumenical in nature in other words, Christians of different denominations gather together in the same group. They may meet in churches, private homes, or some other location. We'll take a closer look at centering prayer and its role in the contemplative life in Chapter 15.
Monastic associate groups. If you live near a monastery or a retreat center, inquire to see if it sponsors a group of laypersons who gather there for spiritual instruction, prayer, and fellow- ship.These groups go by various names, including "Third Order" groups, "Secular" groups, "Lay" associates, or "Oblates," depending on the monastic or religious order that sponsors them. Sometimes they are restricted to members of the same church as the monastery (usually Catholic), but often they are ecumenical, welcoming Christians of all denominations. Since these groups are attached to a monastery, they are, by definition, different from your neighborhood church. Whereas churches offer a variety of ministries and services to meet the needs of many kinds of people, monastic associations specifically exist to support the cultivation of an inner spiritual life of prayer, meditation, and contemplation. Sometimes, they ask for a letter of recommendation from your priest or minister in order to participate. The beauty of monastic associate groups is that they give you the opportunity to receive instruction on prayer and the spiritual life from monks (or from laypersons who themselves have been students of monks), with teachings adapted to the needs of those who live "in the world."
THE LIMINAL CHRISTIAN
Throughout history, many great mystics lived on the margins of the church sometimes literally, sometimes metaphorically. The Desert Fathers and Mothers lived on the edge that separated civilization from the wilderness. Many great monastic orders chose remote locations for their homes, settling on the margins between church and society on the one hand, and the untamed forests, mountains, or even swamps on the other. Francis of Assisi rejected a posh life as an affluent merchant's son, choosing instead to live on the fine line that separated respectable religion from a life of poverty.
Julian of Norwich lived literally on the edge in a cell where she enjoyed solitude, but attached to a parish church where she participated in communal worship and provided spiritual direction to those who sought her guidance. Simone Weil, a Jewish philosopher who embraced Christian spirituality but refused to be baptized, never even fully entered the church, at least not sacramentally. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, as a paleontologist, inhabited the frontier between religion and science, while Thomas Merton, Bede Griffiths, and Swami Abhishiktananda were all called to live out their faith in the gray areas between Christianity and the wisdom traditions of Buddhism or Hinduism.
So it is a common theme among mystics to express their faith and devotion to Christ in an in-between sort of place, usually between the established church and the society in which it is embedded -a place that stands in contrast to the Christian world places like the wilderness, poverty, science, or non-Christian traditions. But living on the edge of orthodoxy did not lead these great mystics and contemplatives to be sloppy or individualistic in their observance of Christianity. On the contrary, their lives are marked by a deep love and respect for the traditional wisdom teachings of the faith, even though they remained open-hearted to people and places that seem profoundly "other" than established Christian thinking and dogma. It's yet another paradox of the Christian mystical tradition.
The fancy, Latin-based word that describes this place of "inbetweenness" is "lim
inal," which means "of the threshold." I believe that the great mystics often lurked on the thresholds between institutional religion and the real (or figurative) wild places of the world. As liminal figures, they were in the best position to drink deeply from the well of Christian tradition, but also to express their relationship with God in a completely authentic way. They respected the sacraments and the graces of the church, but also truly loved and befriended those who, for whatever reason, remained outside the boundaries of organized religion.
It is not easy to live authentically in these liminal spaces. Both the church and the world tug at those who stand on the threshold between them, urging them to move away from the door because "it is dangerous out there." Like all institutions, churches are committed to their own preservation and expect their members to serve the institution, no matter the cost. Likewise, beyond the boundaries of the Christian religion, there are plenty of forces that beckon those on the threshold to abandon religion altogether. The only way to remain truly centered in this in-between place is to remain anchored in meaningful relationships, beginning with a relationship with God that is grounded in prayer and contemplation.
Perhaps the in-between places that separate religion from the rest of the world are the most natural habitat of contemplatives, who feel impelled to follow God wherever God calls them sometimes in religious settings and sometimes not. Perhaps those who discern in the call to love God and neighbors a mandate to love both "church" and "world" equally and unconditionally are the natural residents of this space. Indeed, holiness is grounded in the concept of being "set apart" for God. Contemplatives are those who are doubly set apart from the world by their relationship with the church, and from mainstream religion by their devotion to God through the cultivation of inner silence and the embracing of the mystery of darkness and unknowing.
The Big Book of Christian Mysticism: The Essential Guide to Contemplative Spirituality Page 15