by Jennifer Ann
“I don’t know. I haven’t had a regular period since shortly after I accepted my role, so I don’t have anything to go by. The doctor always assured me it was normal because of the stress and everything.” The way her eyes widen, I assume she’s just as surprised by the news. “She suggested I call in the morning to schedule an ultrasound. I guess they’re accurate in guessing the date of conception.”
A thick lump burns through my throat. “Is that why you didn’t want me going in with you?”
“I didn’t want to say anything until I confirmed that’s what’s going on. I didn’t even consider it to be a possibility when I started feeling ill a couple weeks ago.” Her arms wrap around her waist like she’s going to be sick. She watches the water covering her bare feet. “I threw up the other day while cooking eggs, and I almost lost it yesterday when they served those beef commercials on set. Somehow, I just knew after those things happened. I called the clinic this morning, and this OB agreed to fit me in after the usual public hours for an extra charge.”
“What about the pissed off chick in the parking lot?”
Blowing out a long breath, she shuffles over next to me and drops down at my side. “That’s an entirely different story. I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you about it.”
Before I do something stupid like brush her hair away from her face or pull her into my arms, I thread my fingers together. She’s vulnerable as hell right now, and I don’t want to make it any worse. “Why not?”
“Because it’s embarrassing. I hope you believe me when I say what happened back there was nothing more than a misunderstanding. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
I lift both shoulders with a long shrug. “I’m not here to judge.”
“God….I hate this.” She gathers her legs in her arms, dropping her chin against her knees. “I’ve done so many stupid things that I regret. I’d give anything to go back and make different choices.”
With a humorless chuckle, I nudge my leg against hers. “We all have. It’s a part of life.”
She tips her head, lips shaking with a sad smile. “I hope falling in love with me isn’t one of them.”
“That could never happen.” I give in and take her hand, squeezing it between us. “What’re you gonna do?”
“I don’t know, but I think I might need help.” Her eyes fall down to our hands. “You’re right, I’ve been abusing my anxiety meds. I’ve been telling myself for too long that there’s nothing wrong with taking a few extra, but I’m to the point where I think I might die without them. And that weekend I went away with Theo…it was bad. I took way too many pills while we were drinking, and there was some bad shit that went down later that night in our hotel room.”
I grind my teeth as my mind goes wild with the possibilities. If this is her way of telling me they slept together that weekend, I fucking hate it.
Her fingers thread through mine as she lets out a shaky sigh. “Please know that I despised myself for it, and I hated the way it made me feel. I hate the person I've become.” She pauses to rub her wet face against the inside of her arm. “The OB I saw tonight recommended a few clinics known for being discreet with celebrities. I’m thinking the one in Minnesota would be best…it may give me added strength if I dealt with this back home.”
Never been much of a cryer, but my eyes burn with unshed tears as she admits to her addiction. Damn I love this woman even more for being brave enough to admit she needs treatment.
“I’ll help you with whatever you need to do to get through this, Ang. I’ve got your back.”
Wiping at her face again, she shakes her head. “I appreciate it, but I think this is something I have to do on my own.”
Although I don’t like her answer, I get it. Hopefully I can at least convince her to let me escort her to her flight and have Hunter meet her there. “What about the baby?”
“That weekend in Islamorada…I was so out of it…” She shakes her head and closes her eyes with another rush of tears pouring down her cheeks. “Theo and I woke up in bed together. Neither of us remembers what happened.” Eyelids flipping back open, her eyes burn with a pain-ridden expression I’ll never be able to shake as long as I live. “I’m so sorry, Ash! This is why I can’t ask anything of you! I’ve already asked too much! I promise I’ll fix this…I’ll take care of it!”
Sickness rises in my gut. I hate knowing I’m in competition with that asshat as her baby’s father, but how can I stay angry when she’s admitting she made a mistake? She’s obviously taking the problem seriously. And as much as I get the whole “my body, my decision” mentality, especially when Angie’s job centers around her appearance, shouldn’t I get a say if I end up being the father? I’d raise it alone if she gave me no other choice.
I drop her hand and rise to my feet, knowing if I open my mouth in this moment, I’ll end up saying something I regret. As much as I love her, I’m not sure I’d feel the same if she terminated my child, or if Theo ended up being the father. It’s the ugliest kind of betrayal.
She stands next to me, wiping the sand off her butt. “You should take the time while I’m gone to explore Miami. You’ve been here over a month, and you still haven’t seen the best parts because you’ve been too busy chasing me around. Invite Hunter and Levi down as soon as they’re done with harvest. You can use my place for extra beds.”
The idea of “fun times with the guys” with all that’s going on makes me physically ill. I cross my arms, daring a glance back her way without letting myself comfort her in some way. “Will I still have a job when you get back, or should I start looking for something else?”
“I honestly don’t know what to expect after I get out.” Her lips twist with another sad smile. Every time she does that it’s like taking a punch in the chest. “I guess you should look for something, just in case. There’s a chance they’ll fire me for messing up production. Who knows…I might decide it’s too stressful to continue anyway. And it doesn’t seem fair to keep you on after everything I did to you.”
The beach spins around me as I hold her stare. “For what it’s worth, this hurts. A fuckin’ lot. But I’ve had the time of my life with you the past few weeks. Doubt I’ll ever find another woman like you even if I tried.” I lick my lips and think carefully about what to say next, praying it doesn’t make me sound like a pansy ass. “I hope I’m not on your list of regrets either.”
“You’re not.” She reaches up, taking my face in her cold, narrow fingers. “I’ll always cherish what we had. Part of the reason I want to get better is because I know I’m not worthy of you this way. And before you say that I am, just know there are things I haven’t told you about my last relationship. Like I said, I have many regrets.” She smiles with fresh tears in her eyes. “But I didn’t want my decision to be with you when I wasn’t ready to become one of those regrets. You’re the kind of man I could love all the way to the end of time.”
Caught up in the sincerity behind her words, whatever I want to say in return becomes lodged in my chest. Hopeful it means she’ll give me another chance one day, and scared as hell she won’t, I lean down and brush my lips over hers. Angie lets out a quiet whimper, locking her arms around my neck and rejoining our mouths, accepting my tongue without hesitation.
I could take this woman right here in the sand, making love to her until the sun comes up, and I’d have zero regrets for as long as I live. The way she’s responding, rubbing her body against me and devouring my kiss, I doubt she’d ask me to stop. But that wouldn’t be fair to her after everything she said. And I can’t exactly stomach the idea of messing around with her without protection when she’s possibly already carrying my child that she’s planning to “take care” of, like it’s an item to check off a to do list.
Somehow I manage to reel it in, ending the kiss on a sweeter note with a soft caress to her cheek before pulling away. As I smile down on her, my chest pinches with the power of a heart attack. “I’m proud of you for doing this. Focus on whatever
it takes to get better. Whatever you decide in the end, I’ll always be here for you.”
12
Asher
Less than a week after Angie leaves for Minnesota, I’m on the verge of losing my shit wondering how she’s doing. Wondering if she did the ultrasound thing. Wondering if she had an abortion.
She stuck around a few days after finding out she’s pregnant, waiting for an opening at the treatment center. In the meantime, she met for endless hours with the producers and writers of the show, planning how they’d work around her absence. The night before she left, I escorted her to a restaurant where she had dinner with Theo. About killed me standing outside the room, listening to the quiet mutter of their voices without understanding the words. Afterwards, she never mentioned what she said to him either. For all I know, she’s still stringing him along. Maybe even told him he’s the father of her child.
Hard as it was to do, I made a promise not to push her about anything. I was only there as her support system. At least she let me escort her to another one of Charlie’s private jets. When it came time for her to board, she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, thanking me for everything. Told myself she wasn’t saying goodbye, but I can’t get it through my fuckin’ head that what we had may be over.
I haven’t done much outside of my place other than hit the gym and the Cuban place she took me the first night I moved down here. So I give in and invite the guys down, knowing they’ll at least distract me from thinking about her 24/7. It’s another full week and a half before they’ve finished combining the last of the corn, and three days after that when they actually appear at my doorstep.
Seeing their goofy-ass grins in person is the best thing that’s happened since Angie left. As I’m clapping each of them on the back, I tell myself if I no longer have a job when Angie returns, I’d be better off returning to Minnesota since they’re the closest thing I have to family aside from my parents. The only friends I’ve made in Miami are all from Angie’s world, including the owner of the Cuban joint. Haven’t had time to connect with anyone else.
Levi barges into my apartment and hurries over to the windows, staring out at the ocean view. “This place is unbelievable! You seriously live here?”
Hunter drops his bag on the floor beside me, curling his lips. These days he could be mistaken for a surfer with chin-length hair. If he were to stand next to James, one would never guess they were twins. James has bulked up since getting into professional fighting, and wears his hair trimmed short. The only big thing about Hunter is his arms. “What’s that fuckin’ smell?”
I sniff the air and grunt. It’s actually pretty atrocious, like old gym socks and moldy cheese. “Been holed up in here since your sister left. Guess it’s time to call the cleaning staff.”
Levi turns back to us, scowling. “You mean you haven’t been partying it up these past couple of weeks? What the hell is wrong with you, brother? From what I hear, Miami nightlife is legendary!”
“Good thing we came to your rescue,” Hunter agrees, nodding as he’s slapping me on the back. “We plan on rectifying that.”
He wasn’t kidding. We spend the next three nights in a row hitting the nightclubs, sometimes not coming back until 4 a.m. One night Levi doesn’t come back at all, hooking up with a woman from the club instead. Letting loose with the guys turns out to be therapeutic. And I haven’t gotten properly drunk since the move.
We’re surrounded by women everywhere we go, but I don’t have interest in a single one. There’s only one woman I want to be with, and she may not even be thinking about me.
The fourth night, we find ourselves in what turns out to be one of the city’s most exclusive clubs that’s frequented by celebrities. Levi’s new female friend drags us upstairs where we come into contact with a row of security guards blocking a lounge. Rage spikes my blood with the force of a speeding bullet when spotting Theo Carr among them. He’s nestled on a couch between two women who could learn a thing or two about class from Angie. Dresses too tight and revealing, makeup too heavy, they’re trying way too hard to impress the star they’re actively pawing.
Levi catches me staring at Theo. Like the rest of us, he’s had more than his share of drinks, only he’s horrible at holding his liquor. “Hey, I think I know you!” he shouts at Theo. “Aren’t you the guy from Angie’s show?”
Theo’s blue eyes dart in our direction, eyelids heavy like he’s either drunk or incredibly high. I’m banking on both. His gaze stops on me. He pushes the women off him, coming at me like the devil’s on his tail. “The fuck you doin’ here?”
I shove my hands into my jeans before I knock the pretty boy out cold. “Takin’ Angie’s brother and cousin out for a night on the town. You have a problem with us being here?”
“Yeah, considering you’re the asshole that convinced her she needed treatment for taking pills that helped her relax.” Eyes narrowed into slits and nostrils flaring, he pokes his finger into the center of my chest. “You fucked over a lot of careers when you had her sent off, buddy.”
I open my mouth to tell him I didn’t do shit until I consider it may have been easier for Angie to put the blame on me. Doesn’t matter. I’d rather the prick took it out on me than her any day of the week.
“You’re right,” I say with a chortle. “It’s not like she had a coke problem or anything.”
His smug smile drops. “Is that supposed to hurt my feelings, Tough Guy? Because I’m not scared of your redneck ass. No one cares about your opinion.”
“Sit your ass back down, Hollywood.” I begin to turn my back on him, muttering, “Your harem is waiting.”
Teeth bared, he grabs my arm and spins me around so we’re nose-to-nose. A bigger dude closer to my size darts over, but Theo motions for him to stop with a hand gesture. “I’m onto you, asshole. I see you sniffing around my girl, waiting for your chance. But she’d never go for a tatt’d freak like you. She’s way out of your league. If you’re smart, you’ll learn your place as her bodyguard and back the fuck off. Return to whatever hole you crawled out from.”
Considering how wrong he is, the insult rolls right off my back. “You’ll never be good enough for her. You don’t know a single fuckin’ thing about the real Angelina Kendall.”
“I know she gives the best head in all of Miami.”
Adrenaline ignites in my gut, too extreme to be stopped. I throw my fist into his nose, knocking him down to the tiled floor. Somewhere a woman screams. Theo curls upright to sit, cradling his bloodied face while swearing into his hands. The amount of satisfaction that comes with my burning hand and his broken face doesn’t even begin to remedy the pure rage setting fire to my blood.
One of the bodyguards rushes at me in the same breath Hunter and Levi pull me back.
“Your redneck ass is so fired!” Theo yells up at me.
“Good thing you’re not my fucking boss!”
“No, but I will be.” A sneer stretches across his blood-smeared lips. “Before she left, I asked Angie to marry me.”
Swear to fuck my stomach drops to my feet. I stare at him slack-jawed, waiting for him to confess he’s joking.
Angie wouldn’t take this circus that far, would she?
“Let it go,” Hunter commands, patting my chest. “He’s full of shit. Let’s get the hell outta here before someone calls the cops.”
He drags me away to the sound of Theo’s twisted laughter.
The last day of their visit, I take Hunter and Levi to the beach. After we returned from the club, I spent the night stewing over what Theo said. Angie was weak before she left. He could have easily manipulated her into thinking he was what she needed. Maybe I shouldn’t have given her so much space. If she agreed to marry him, it’s all my fault for not making myself clear.
While Levi’s off hitting on women in bikinis, Hunter stays at my side, quietly drinking for the better part of an hour. I stare out at the water from a rental chair, doing my best to destroy a case of beer and wishing I could sleep for
a week straight. Hopefully once the guys are gone, I’ll get that chance.
Hunter breaks the silence by clearing his throat. “I wouldn’t believe a word that prick said to you last night. He obviously was just trying to get under your skin.”
I crush another can in my fist, wishing it was Theo’s head. “It worked.”
Without bothering to ask if I want another beer, he cracks one open and hands it over. “I always knew you had a thing for my sister, but I didn’t know you had it this bad. You two in love?”
There’s no hiding our affair at this point, so I turn to him, stone-faced. “It’s complicated. We’d been sleeping together for a while before she decided she needed help. I gave her space to figure things out.”
Eyebrows raised, he smirks. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Don’t bust my balls, man.” Turning back to the ocean, I swig down a mouthful of ice cold brew. “Yeah, I love her. She…wasn’t as sure.”
From the corner of my eyes, I see him drop back into his lounger. “Whoa. Didn’t see that one coming. Does James know what was going on?”
“You’re the only one I’ve told. Angie wouldn’t let anyone know, including Theo. She thought it would be bad press.”
“That doesn’t sound anything like her. She always believed in love and that happily ever after shit. When we were little, she’d pretend she was a princess and make me play the prince because James wouldn’t do it.” He turns to me and chuckles. “You and Ang…I can’t believe it actually happened. Who the hell would’a guessed when we were kids that you’d one day fall for my big sister?”
“Me,” I grunt. “Always thought she was hot. Now…it’s so much more than that. She’s the total package.”
With an appreciative grunt, he pats my shoulder. “Couldn’t have picked a better man to make her happy.”
“If she was actually happy, she wouldn’t have needed to abuse her fuckin’ meds,” I snap, turning back to him with a glare. “I should’ve caught on sooner. If I were you and James, I’d kick my ass for not taking better care of her. Charlie’s going to flip his shit when he hears the whole story.”