by Lynn Bulock
As he left the room, Kyra found herself shivering slightly, tiny tremors of excitement up her spine. Their brief kiss had been wonderful. Now, how did she keep from having it happen again?
It was Saturday afternoon, and this time Josh wasn’t even asking himself how he got involved with another one of Kyra’s activities. The truth was that he enjoyed being with her most of the time and he’d agreed to join her on this outing almost before he knew what it was.
So here they were, he and Kyra, Jasmine and Ashley in his car heading to a church, but not to worship. “Are we going to do potatoes again?” Jasmine asked from the backseat, a light whine in her voice. “Because if we are, somebody else is going to have to dump out the bag into the sink. I never saw potatoes that big and gnarly before in my life.”
“My foster mom has a dog that’s smaller than those potatoes,” Ashley chimed in.
“Okay, enough already. We’re going the same place we were before and the menu hasn’t changed, so I expect there will be potatoes. We can probably talk Mr. Richards into dumping the potatoes, and maybe even scrubbing them. That way you two can chop a couple of pounds of veggies or crack three or four dozen eggs.”
There was a sigh in stereo from the backseat. Josh kept his eyes on the road and kept from laughing. Now he looked forward to seeing these potatoes.
The church was a large complex on the outskirts of Baltimore, so big that it had a restaurant-size kitchen attached. There were people bustling around it in twos and threes, all set to different tasks. A smiling man who looked like everybody’s grandpa and introduced himself as Jim greeted them and drew them around a large steel worktable.
“Tomorrow at seven in the morning another crew of people this size or larger will load a truck with ten pans of breakfast casseroles, enough doughnuts to fill a car trunk, ten gallons of fruit salad and enough orange juice for three football teams. They’ll be taking all of that to a park three miles from here, where we’ll serve somewhere between one-hundred-fifty and two-hundred people breakfast. Another crew will provide a worship service. What you’re doing this afternoon will make that breakfast possible.”
He went on to give them instructions on what to do at their stations and asked if they had any questions. Ashley raised her hand, and Jim smiled and said, “This isn’t school, young lady. Go ahead and ask your question.”
She looked down at the floor for a moment, tracing a circle with the toe of her tennis shoe. “I forgot to ask last time. How come you do that so early? At seven it’s just barely light and it’s still pretty cold out.”
“Yes, but that’s when the homeless shelters start telling people they have to leave,” Jim said softly. “That means most of our worshipers will be hungry and looking for a place to be.”
Ashley nodded as if she understood, and Jim pointed her and Josh to a sink where the dreaded bag of potatoes sat on the drain board. Josh got the bag open and dumped them into the large sink, impressed by the thumps they made when they landed.
He gave a low whistle. “Wow. I thought you two were kidding about the potatoes. What does your foster mom have, a Yorkie or a Chihuahua?”
“Chihuahua,” Ashley said, using two hands to pick up the biggest, knottiest tuber in the sink. “And he’s way smaller than this thing. But Mr. Jim says that because they’re so weird-looking, Food Share gives them potatoes like this for free, so they can feed more people that way.”
“That’s cool.” Josh hefted one himself and turned on the water in the sink. “At least there won’t be too many of them to scrub in a fifty-pound bag.”
“Yeah, but wait till you start peeling them. It’s like trying to peel a football,” Ashley said, grabbing a scrub brush to work on her portion of the bag.
Behind them at a worktable, Josh saw Kyra and Jasmine stemming grapes and putting them in a large colander. Ashley followed his gaze and Jasmine looked up at the other girl. “I could have told you why they get to the park so early, Ash. The shelters don’t cut anybody any slack. Some of them start moving people out of there by six-thirty. No time to get a shower or brush your teeth or anything.”
Josh watched the two of them, feeling a lump in his throat at the thought that this slender teen knew about homeless shelters from the inside. Where was God in something like that? he thought.
Kyra must have seen some of what he was feeling because she came over and put a hand on his arm gently. “We’ll talk once we get the girls home, okay?”
“Sure,” he said. By then he’d probably have half-a-dozen questions just as unanswerable as this one. But before that, he needed to go back to scrubbing potatoes. He soon discovered that Ashley was right about peeling them. Whether he tried a paring knife or a peeler, it wasn’t easy. And the women who were operating a large food processor at another station in the kitchen groaned when they saw the bowl he carried to them.
The older of the two handed him a cutting board and a knife the size of a meat cleaver. “Here. See if you can chop those monster spuds into chunks the size of a regular potato. That way we can chop them enough to cook them in one of those skillets at the stove.”
He nodded and went back to work. This was the first time he’d ever tried to prepare food or cook in these kinds of proportions. It surprised him to discover just how much hard work went into making breakfast for a crowd.
Two hours later Kyra came to find him as he cleaned off a worktable, polishing the stainless steel back to a shine. “You look like you’re about as ready as we are to leave,” she said with a smile. “I promised the girls a stop at a coffeehouse before we took them back.”
“Yeah, as long as Jasmine just gets a decaf latte,” Ashley piped up.
“I hope you ladies don’t mind if I get the real thing. Unless I boost my energy with something, I may have to crawl up the stairs to my apartment.” All of them laughed at that, and Josh didn’t tell them he was only half joking.
The large cappuccino that he got helped give him a second wind, along with the brownies he brought back to the table with the coffee. “I know they’re big,” he said, trying to forestall any complaints from Kyra, “so I just got two for all four of us. I hope that’s okay.”
Kyra sighed. “I guess so. Even half of one of those will give me back more calories than I burned all afternoon. But they do look good.”
The girls agreed with her, and Josh had a challenge keeping half of one of the brownies for himself. Jasmine distracted him twice before he realized that she was breaking off corners from his piece every time she drew his attention elsewhere.
He didn’t call her on it because he figured that she probably had enough problems in life right now. Besides, he’d always heard that pregnant women were extremely emotional; he could only imagine what carrying a child did to a teenager’s already-unstable emotions.
Instead he moved his plate quietly closer to Ashley and kept listening to the questions she was asking Kyra.
“How come God lets people be homeless?” she prodded while Kyra sat quietly. “You keep saying God can do anything, so why doesn’t God fix it so everybody has a place to live?”
“Maybe He’s trying to get us to do what we’re supposed to,” Jasmine said. “Or maybe He just doesn’t care.”
Kyra looked straight at the girl and shook her head. “Nope. I can’t believe that God doesn’t care about us. I think God cares about us like nobody else does, or even can. God loves us so much that Jesus came to die for us. For each of us. That doesn’t sound like a God who doesn’t care to me.”
Jasmine gave a halfhearted shrug. “I guess you’re right. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard to convince myself that anybody cares, even God.”
Josh wondered how much to say at this point. Kyra seemed to be doing a pretty good job of helping Jasmine, but what she said really stirred something in him. He took a breath and gathered his courage. “I’ve felt that way, too, Jasmine.” Across the table he could see Kyra’s eyes widen. She probably would never have expected him to speak up. “But since
I’ve gotten to know Kyra better, she’s shown me what she believes about God, and it’s harder for me to believe that God doesn’t care. Even though I don’t feel it all the time, I think that Kyra’s right and God doesn’t ever leave us totally alone.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kyra make a conscious effort to close her gaping mouth. He was glad, because her jaw had been so low that for a moment she reminded him of a fish out of water.
Jasmine’s lower lip trembled for a moment. “That’s easy for you to say.” She pulled her slender body upright in the chair. “You are an adult with your own place to live, a job and a car. You can do what you want most of the time and nobody can make you do what they want instead.”
Josh fought laughter because he knew it wouldn’t help the situation. “It’s true that I have an apartment and a job, and a car to drive, but the rest of that stuff you said isn’t exactly right. It’s because I have a job that plenty of people can tell me what to do. Sometimes those are things I’d choose to do on my own, but a lot of the time that’s not the case. And there’s a downside to all this adult stuff. When I go home at night to that apartment, there’s nobody else there.”
Jasmine looked thoughtful. “I’d like that for a couple of hours. Then I’d probably get bored or lonely and I’d want to have other people around. Why don’t you at least get yourself a dog?”
“Not home enough to take care of one,” Josh told her. “And I’m a little bit allergic. I’m finding out that I like animals more than I thought. Right now if I want to have one around, I’d follow Miss Kyra home and wrestle with her cat.”
Kyra looked like she almost spit out a mouthful of coffee. “Wrestle with my cat? Why would you even think of doing that?”
“Because he’s the size of a puma,” Josh countered, happy to see that the girls were grinning. “Have you ever looked at the paws on that beast? He can probably catch two different mice at once, or maybe even a rat. I’d pity the rat that ran into him.”
Kyra shook her head. “You’ll give these two nightmares, Joshua. They don’t know you’re teasing about my sweet kitty.”
Ashley looked disappointed. “Are you? If so that’s too bad. I was just thinking that maybe we could borrow him for a little while. I’d feel a lot safer with a puma around.” Ashley’s voice was so soft Josh wasn’t sure he’d really heard her say what he thought.
He was right back to square one here, ready to protect these kids whether they wanted his protection or not. It was all he could do not to pound the table with his clenched fist. Over the girls’ heads Kyra seemed to be sending him a silent message of thanks for keeping things as calm as possible.
“So what’s up that you would want a puma, Ashley? Is somebody bothering you at school?” It was the first problem that Josh could think of that a young teen might have.
She shook her head, looking down at the table. “No, nothing like that. The other girls in my house laugh at me because they think I’m imagining things. But something feels…I don’t know…creepy.” Her cheeks were red now and Josh could tell she wasn’t going to say anything else.
“Have you been watching anything scary on TV? Or reading any of those vampire books we talked about before?” Kyra’s hand rested on the girl’s arm and her voice was gentle.
“A little TV, but none of those books. You convinced me I didn’t want to do that,” Ashley said.
Jasmine had been taking this all in with narrowed eyes and a slight scowl. “Maybe those girls in your house are right. Maybe you’re just scaring yourself with made-up stuff.”
Ashley looked on the verge of tears and Josh felt at such a loss. Female tears were one of those things he’d never been able to handle. “No matter what’s scaring Ashley, if it feels real to her it’s still going to scare her. Is there anything we can do to help?” At this point Josh would have taken on a real puma just to make this slight kid feel better.
She was silent for quite some time. “Maybe we could pray about it. That’s what you say you do, isn’t it, Kyra?”
“It sure is. Do you want to pray here or in the car?”
“In the car,” Ashley said, to Josh’s relief. For these kids he would have tried praying even here in the middle of a crowded place, but the relative quiet of the car sounded better. He still wished that Ashley’s problem could have been solved with a puma or some firearms. Those were the kinds of weapons he felt more comfortable with. Would he ever come to a point where relying on prayer felt better than relying on the automatic in his holster? For now, he knew, cold steel was more of a comfort.
TEN
“So, are you going home now or do you want to come in to wrestle the cat?” Kyra teased as she got ready to get out of Josh’s car in her driveway. “If you’re really offering, I’d like to come in.” His expression was a lot more serious than she expected. “I want to talk a little bit more about what Ashley said.”
“Sure. I can put a pot of tea on if you like, and maybe even light a fire in the fireplace.” The evening was turning cool and damp, and Kyra felt chilled. A cup of tea and watching flickering flames sounded pretty good after the workout of the afternoon.
“I won’t stay long,” Josh said. “You have to be tired and we’ve got another long week ahead of us at work. Or at least I expect we do.”
“Yes, we will. You’ll be around that much longer to help tie things up, if you’re wondering.” She would be if she were the temporary employee. “Although I have to imagine you’re about ready to get back to the FBI and some real investigative work.”
She unlocked the door and Josh followed her in. “Ranger. Hey, furry guy,” she called out, listening for the thump that would indicate the cat’s heavy body scooting to the floor after a nap someplace he wasn’t supposed to be. He strolled out from the kitchen, making rowr-ing feline conversation. “Yeah, we caught you, didn’t we? You know you’re not supposed to be anywhere near that countertop, even the stools.”
If Ranger felt guilty, he didn’t show it. He came into the front room with ears perked up and tail high, then wound sinuously around Josh’s ankles. “I think he actually remembers me.” He reached down and scratched behind the cat’s ears. “Sure, you’re a puma, aren’t you?”
“I don’t believe you two.” Kyra had to laugh. She hadn’t seen her cat warm up to anybody like this. Usually he was a bit standoffish; definitely choosy about who he made up with. Here he was following Josh around, hardly letting him settle into one of the kitchen chairs before he jumped up in his lap.
“You don’t have to put up with that,” she told Josh. “I know you’re allergic to him.”
“I’ll try to forget that for a few minutes. He’s a nice guy and I’m enjoying the attention. When I was talking to the girls about the joys of adult life, I meant most of what I said. The worst part is going back to that empty apartment.”
“Especially when it’s that far a drive,” Kyra said as she put loose tea in the teapot and turned the burner on under the kettle. “How long does it take you to get to work or home these days?”
“Longer than it does to get to the bureau, but I brought that on myself. Funny thing is I’m not ready to go back there yet.” Josh looked puzzled, rubbing Ranger’s head thoughtfully. The cat gave a rumbling purr and settled down in his lap.
“That’s been a change since you first got to my lab.” Kyra crossed over to the fireplace and set the kindling under the already-laid fire and lit it. She usually kept things ready this way, so that she could come home from a long day and have a fire quickly.
“I guess that was pretty obvious, huh? I felt like I was being banished out here to the boonies because my supervisor didn’t want to deal with me. Thinking it over, now I can see that I was a disaster waiting to happen.”
“Whoa. That’s a pretty strong statement.”
Josh nodded. “I was taking some pretty strong…and very stupid…actions. For years I’d had a purpose, a goal. I wanted to prove that my father didn’t really commit suicide, o
r do the other things he’d been accused of. Once I’d done that I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I just didn’t care much anymore.”
“And that’s changed?” Kyra found herself almost holding her breath, waiting for his answer. “What made things different?”
“You,” Josh said softly. “Seeing your passion for your job, the way you cared about people you didn’t know, just because they were people.”
Kyra felt tears prickle behind her eyelids. “Okay, now you’re going to make me cry if you keep up like that,” she told him. “And I’ve seen how that makes you react. So if tears make you uncomfortable, don’t go there.” Ranger had jumped off Josh’s lap and come over to her, head-butting against her jeans in an effort to get some attention, or more likely food.
She filled the cat’s dish and gave silent thanks when the teakettle began whistling. She needed to busy herself with something so Josh wouldn’t see her reaction to what he’d said. Pouring the boiling water over the tea, she put the lid back on the pot and got out a couple of mugs.
“You saw how I reacted to Ashley, didn’t you? That’s what I actually came in here to talk about, anyway. Of the three girls I’ve met that are in the care system right now, she strikes me as the calmest. But she’s the one who’s nervous about something.”
Kyra pondered how to answer him without disparaging Ashley or giving away any of her secrets. “She is probably the calmest on the surface, you’re right. But she has a vivid imagination and she’s very bright. Sometimes that’s a great thing, but other times…”
“I heard you ask her about books and movies. Is she that suggestible?”
Kyra shrugged, still working out the answer for herself. “She got into these awful vampire stories a while back, and she couldn’t even sleep without a light on for a month or so. You can imagine how the other kids teased her.”
Josh winced, and Kyra wondered what memory she’d stirred up for him. “Yeah, I can. Wouldn’t that make her less likely to say anything now?”