by Patty Jansen
Some form of adult intelligence was going on behind those eyes. Nellie could see that he was thinking. She could see that he knew he had gone too far. He lacked any form of education about how he to behave, but she sensed that he could grow into a strong-willed young man.
He sat down in the straw, and tightened his arms about his chest. “I still want to see my father.”
“I understand, but that’s not going to be easy. I would like to see your father, too. I thought he was a very respectable man.” Nellie sat next to him.
He looked up, his dark and beautiful eyes meeting hers. “Did you know my father?”
“I was with him and your mother all the time, and you, too, even though you don’t remember any of it.”
He said nothing.
Nellie felt that he might want to apologise, but he was simply too proud to do so. “We will make sure you see your father.”
“You will make sure that we go to the palace, too?”
Nellie cringed. “Eventually, maybe. But I think you are a bit too young to be fighting wars.”
“I can fight.”
Nellie looked at a scrawny arms and his thin legs. “I believe it. But I think you may want to have a bit more training before you rush off to get yourself killed.”
“Can I start the training now?”
“If you eat well, and if you stop behaving like a child and start listening to what we say.”
He fell silent. Then he walked across the barn and picked up the broom that apparently he had been asked to use before the argument broke out. He started sweeping the floor.
Henrik looked at Nellie, his eyes wide. “However did you do that?”
“Years of practice dealing with King Roald.”
With that settled, they started cooking dinner, and Nellie told the women of their trip to the nunnery.
The women’s eyes lit up when she spoke of the nice building and the fields and quiet spaces, and specially the absence of men.
“But won’t they have any problems with the men in our group?” Hilde asked.
“They said everyone was welcome.”
Josie said, “Then we must go there. It sounds like the ideal place.”
“I thought so, too, until we left and a visitor came into the place.”
“Who was it?”
“Zelda.”
Gasps. The women stared at her, their mouths open.
Josie said, “Zelda came to the nunnery?” Josie in particular had made her dislike of Zelda overly clear in the days since she had been rescued. It was because of Zelda that she, Jantien, and most others had almost died.
“We didn’t stick around for long enough, but I think Zelda was buying produce from the nunnery. And then I became unsure of whether it was a safe place for us, seeing how Zelda betrayed us before.”
“I can well see that,” Mina said.
Agatha said, “So then, what can we do? We don’t want to stay here because this lord whatever is a stuck-up you-know-what and he will sell us to whoever offers the most money, dragon included.”
Nellie didn’t believe that Adalbert Verdonck would do that. To him, knowledge and power was more important than money. “That’s what we need to discuss. There are a number of options,” Nellie said.
“What options?”
“We can stay here.”
Mina shook her head. “No. This man worries me. He will sell us or we will be drawn into something evil.”
“Or we can go to the nunnery.”
“I don’t like that,” Jantien said. “Not after Zelda betrayed us.”
Jantien was shy and didn’t speak up often, but when she did, people tended to listen.
Hilde said, “We can go there but make sure that we stay hidden.”
“Can we do that? There are so many of us, and we can’t hide children for very long. We don’t know what Zelda does there, or how long she stays. We don’t know whether she just comes to the door, or if she goes into the building.”
“Zelda does not strike me as a religious person,” Mina said. “She may just come to the door to buy her things.”
“No.” Jantien was adamant. “I’m not going where Zelda is. She already betrayed us once.”
Henrik asked, “Is there another option?”
Nellie said, “Maybe we can send only the people who can stay there safely. Only the ones who don’t know Zelda or who Zelda won’t recognise.”
“And then what about the rest of us?” Agatha said. “I propose something else. I propose that we talk to Zelda to see what she actually wants and who she works for.”
Several women shouted her down. Jantien called out, “Didn’t you listen to what I said? I don’t want to have anything to do with that woman anymore.”
And again, the issue of Zelda had divided them. Nellie wished she could just understand who worked for who.
“Jantien is right,” said a cultured voice.
In all the commotion, Nellie hadn’t even thought about Madame Sabine, but of course she had been in the barn all along, unable to go anywhere else.
She continued, “Zelda is not a person you should trust, ever. The wayfarer families have a very strong circle of associates in almost every city and town. They have become that way out of necessity. Wayfarers are poor people and they will do anything for money.”
“Excuse me? I don’t do ‘anything’ for money,” Agatha said.
“You’re not a wayfarer.”
“No, but I’m poor. Being poor doesn’t mean you do anything for money.”
“Well, you have to survive, right?” Madame Sabine said.
“There are ways of surviving that you wouldn’t have a clue about.”
“And how do you know what I don’t have a clue about? What do you know about me?”
“Enough to know that you don’t have a clue.”
“Please, please.” Nellie held up her hands. “Sniping at each other doesn’t achieve anything.”
“Then she should stop acting like she knows and owns everything.” Agatha crossed her arms over her chest.
“I know and own a lot more than you.”
“Like, a husband who wants to kill you and two sons who don’t even care enough about you to cry about you?”
“I’m not even going to honour that with a reply,” Madame Sabine said, her voice ice cold.
“Good,” Nellie said. “We’re all in this together.”
“I’m not,” said Brother Martinus. “I want to return to one of the order’s monasteries as soon as possible. I don’t believe any of your stories about Shepherd Wilfridus being a magician. I believe you should let me and Madame Sabine go.”
Agatha said, “So that you can report us to the nearest guard station?” at the same time as Madame Sabine said, “I’d rather be dead than seen travelling with a monk of that despicable church.”
And so the impasse remained. No one knew what to do.
The soup was done, and Mina started handing out bowls. They sat around eating, but the atmosphere in the group was far from happy.
Splitting up the group—with all the risks that would bring—seemed the only option. For a moment Nellie even considered taking the boat back onto the water, but the rivers were not safe.
What were they to do?
After they finished eating, Nellie went to clean the bowls in the ice-cold water of the basin that they had set up outside for that purpose.
She tried to lead this group but she wasn’t sure she was cut out for leadership. You’re too nice and forgiving, Mistress Johanna would say. Well, if she had to be nasty in order to be a leader, she preferred not to be a leader. Let them split up, let each person go their own way. At least they had survived this far because of her. Now they could look after themselves.
But that wasn’t how she wanted things to be. She’d dreamed of the time when she was with Mistress Johanna and Prince Roald and they had come back to the city to oust the Fire Wizard.
They had a group; they had a prince. They even had a
dragon. So why was everything wrong?
The door to the barn opened, letting out a strip of golden light in the gathering dusk. Henrik came out.
“Are you all right?” he asked, his voice kind.
“I never knew how frustrating it is to get a group of people all to do the same thing.”
He chuckled. “My family helped me get over that hurdle.”
That hit home with her. “You must miss them very much.”
“I miss Martha, but she is never coming back. I’m glad she doesn’t have to see me like this. My daughters are grown up and married. They can look after themselves. I’m sure we’ll get back to the city and I can visit them.”
But as the man who had shot the Regent, that might not be so simple. Nellie still didn’t understand quite why he had done it, because it had destroyed his comfortable life. He had said that it was because the Regent was going to kill his own wife in front of his son’s eyes, but there had to be more to it.
“What do you think we should do?” she asked.
“I’m going to make this about Bruno. I’m worried about him, and we need to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. He’s the best chance we have of getting rid of these power-grabbing tyrants.”
“I’m worried about him, too,” Nellie said. “He’s very impatient and asks disturbing questions.”
“He does. I need to be stronger with him.”
“It’s not your fault. He’s lived locked up for ten years, and spent the most important years of his life in a dark prison. Of course he’s angry.”
“We have to make sure he uses that anger in a good way, though. He seems to think that everyone is trying to hold him back. He wants the dragon to take him to see his father, and he thinks we know where Li Fai is. He also thinks that you have turned the dragon against him, because it won’t listen to him the same way it listens to you.”
Nellie snorted. “The dragon listens to me? That’s news.”
“It listens to you better than it listens to anyone.”
“No. He follows animals better than he follows people. He attracts animals, too.”
“Anyone human I mean. Like this afternoon, you told it to stop trying to set fire to the barn, and it did.”
He was right, she realised with a shock. “I don’t mean to take that away from Bruno.”
“I know, but the dragon seems to have an opinion of who to follow and what’s right and wrong.”
A phrase bubbled up in Nellie’s memories. “The Great Just Dragon.”
“What?”
“I’m not sure. It came into my mind—wait, it was a story that Mistress Johanna told the children. I think it was an eastern story. It was about how a dragon saves a village. The dragon refused to obey its master because the master was the village mayor and made unreasonable demands of his villagers.”
“Maybe there is some truth in it somewhere that dragons will follow sensibility over orders.”
“And I am the pinnacle of sensibility,” Nellie said in a mocking voice.
“You are. You always have been. I’m not joking.”
The idea that the dragon should choose to listen to her over Bruno disturbed her. The boy seemed so fragile, and it wasn’t right to take what he considered his. If it continued, he would only get more disturbed and angry.
“How can I make sure the dragon knows he belongs to Bruno?”
“I suspect Bruno will have to earn the right to command the dragon.”
“Could you possibly start training him in fighting and swordcraft?”
“He’s still really young and not very strong.”
“I know, but it will give him something to do and stop his brooding over all the things he can’t do. He’ll feel involved and active, even if he may still be too weak to be any good at it.”
Henrik let a small silence lapse. “I don’t have any equipment.”
“I’m sure we can make a fake sword out of stuff we find in the barn. I’ve seen lengths of wood lying around. I’ll show you.”
She picked up the stack of bowls and walked to the door of the barn. It would be cold tonight, because the air already bit into the skin of her face.
But Henrik remained at the bench.
“Is anything wrong?”
“Nellie, you always so perfectly manage to steer the conversation away from yourself.”
“What do you mean? This isn’t about me.”
“I know, but I asked if you were all right.”
“You didn’t. You asked about Bruno.”
“No, I came out here because I wanted to know if you are all right. It was the first question I asked.”
“I don’t like talking about myself.” As Nellie spoke, she realised just how true it was. “This expedition isn’t about me. I could have stayed in the palace just fine.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Why did you shoot the Regent?”
“See? You’re doing it again. We do the things we do, because we believe they are right. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.”
But she didn’t think he believed that.
Chapter 10
WHILE NELLIE LAY IN the straw trying to sleep that night, the conversation played in her mind many times.
Henrik made her uncomfortable. Whenever she spoke to him, it was as if he held up a mirror to her face and forced her to look into it. And she didn’t like what she saw: that she was self-righteous, that she didn’t know anything about other people’s lives, even if she thought she did, and that she was hopeless at leading groups of people, always having been in the shadow of much more powerful leaders. She simply couldn’t be like Mistress Johanna. She could only be herself.
If the group couldn’t agree about what to do, they would split up; and Nellie would never be able to break the stranglehold over the city held by the shepherd, a man who, curse his soul, used the cover of the church to propel himself into the leadership over Saarland, because “there is no clear heir to the throne.” Yes, there was, and he’d lived in the church dungeons for ten years.
The shepherd, a man who forbade magic because “it is evil”, and then made sure that no one in the church found out he had magic. He punished citizens who had small amounts of magic “for the safety of the citizens” while in truth he did it to drive his rivals away.
That was the only thing he’d done: make sure that no one who would ask pointy questions or challenge him came near.
And she would make sure that this evil man didn’t destroy the city and the church she loved, so all these women and their husbands could go back. So all the foreign merchants who had left came back to the city, so the ocean ships returned with their trade. So magic would be taught to children. And so Shepherd Adrianus could return.
Her mind went around and around in circles, and while she lay there she wasn’t sleeping. Everyone else had been exhausted, including the dragon, who was snoring loudly.
She was exhausted, but the worry consumed her mind.
The next morning, as he had promised, Henrik started Bruno’s sword training. He got up early, and then had some trouble waking Bruno.
“Can we go bit later? It is still so cold.”
“If you want to learn, you have to do the work. Soldiers get up early and don’t complain.”
Bruno sprang up, and got dressed, even if in low morning light, Nellie could see that he was shivering. She hoped that Henrik would not be too hard on him.
They both went outside. Not much later Nellie got up as well, and started the preparations for
breakfast. She wondered where Koby was, because usually she helped.
But then she discovered Koby outside, watching while Henrik and Bruno were lifting pieces of firewood in the first pink light of the
dawn. Henrik’s piece of wood was much bigger than Bruno’s, but Bruno scrunched up his face and lifted his piece above his head and then let it drop again and lifted it again and let it drop again.
“What are they doing?” Nellie
asked.
Koby said, “Bruno wanted to be trained to be a fighter.”
“Yes, I understand, but I would think they might do something useful, like practice fighting moves.”
As she said this, Henrik took off running up the road. Bruno took a little while to figure out that his mentor had gone, and then dropped his wood and followed him. At the end of the laneway, Henrik turned around and came running back again. His face was red from the cold and exertion. Nellie thought it was amazing that he was still this strong and healthy at his age.
When they were back at the barn, Bruno seemed much more exhausted then Henrik was.
“Are you coming to have breakfast?” Nellie asked them.
“Is it ready?” Henrik said.
“Almost.”
Henrik held up his hand when Bruno joined him to stop his pupil running down the lane again. They were both breathing heavily, but Henrik seemed the one who was actually enjoying himself.
“How is he doing?” Nellie asked Henrik when he came inside.
“He could use a lot more training, but he seems quite keen. Although he’s very impatient. He asked me several times whether he could use a weapon. He will have to learn a bit of patience to be a good fighter.”
“Good luck with that. I think you’ll have to watch him closely.”
“Well, we can’t train with a weapon, because I don’t have a training weapon, and we don’t have any money to buy one either.”
“Thank goodness for that.”
They all sat around the fire eating breakfast and drinking tea. Bruno’s face was red, and his eyes were bright.
“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” Nellie asked him when she handed a bowl of porridge to him.
“Of course I enjoyed it. Anything that teaches me how to kill that evil man.”
A chill went over Nellie’s back. Even if she thought the shepherd was evil, she didn’t think about killing in such a glorified way.
“You’re not very strong yet.”
“But I will be, soon, and then we can go to the city, and we will get rid of all these evil men.”
“They will always be more evil men.”
“But then we can go to the palace, and the palace is mine, and I will bring peace. And then my father can come back, and everything can be good again.”