by Lucy Monroe
He stopped breathing, in a wealth of torment waiting for her to touch his most intimate male flesh, but in a move calculated to drive him insane, she bypassed his sex and went to the tensed muscles of his thighs. She caressed them with all ten fingertips, making him shudder and wonder if he was going to be able to stay standing.
His legs came close to collapsing when she caressed the back of his knees. “You’re sensitive here.”
“Yes,” he managed to get out in a guttural voice.
“And here? Are you sensitive here too?” She brushed the inside of his thighs, letting the backs of her fingers make brief contact with his sacs.
He muttered a short, Anglo-Saxon term that he was usually careful not to use in a woman’s presence.
She laughed. “Not yet, darling, but soon.”
He liked it when she called him darling. It was intimate, as intimate as her touch.
“Amanda.” His hips strained toward her, his erect flesh brushing against her face. “Please, baby, touch me there.”
His hands were flattened against the warmed and wet tile of the shower stall, and every muscle in his body was tense with anticipation.
When she didn’t say or do anything for several long seconds, he opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was staring at his sex with a sort of rapture. He felt a small amount of pre-ejaculate come out in testimony of how much that look turned him on.
She saw it and licked her lips, making him groan. She reached out with one delicate little fingertip and touched the bead of moisture at the tip of his penis. Then she brought it to her lips and tasted it.
He groaned. She was going to kill him with her innocently sensual curiosity.
She looked up at him, her eyes darkened almost to black with desire. “I like it.”
“Oh, baby. . . .” How could he want to pound into her with every inch of his throbbing arousal, while at the same time wanting to hold her and kiss her with a tenderness he’d never felt for another woman?
Her fingers wrapped around him and he choked on his own breath. The tips did not quite touch.
“You’re big, aren’t you? I mean bigger than average.” Her tone was that of a scientist gathering information and it made him smile despite the acuity of his need.
“I don’t measure myself against other men,” he said truthfully, if evasively.
“Well, you’re a lot bigger than Lance was.”
Something about the wording of that statement pricked at him until he had an insight that he could not quite believe. “Are you saying you don’t have any other standard of comparison?”
She didn’t look up at him, her attention was wholly engaged with his hardened rod. “I’ve never been intimate with any other man except you and Lance.”
He wouldn’t define what she’d had with her ex-husband as intimacy. “You’re practically a virgin!”
Chapter 15
She did look up then, her expression wry. “I don’t think you can be practically a virgin, that’s sort of like being almost pregnant. You are or you aren’t.”
He didn’t agree. Elaine three months pregnant was a whole different proposition than she had been in her final trimester with her first child. There were definitely levels to how pregnant a woman was. Just ask any man who had lived through a pregnancy with one. And there were levels to a woman’s move from innocence to sexual experience as well.
“You’re very innocent.”
“But I’m learning all the time.” Her smile should have warned him, but it didn’t.
So when her hot, silky wet mouth closed around the head of his arousal, he went up in flames. He bucked toward her and she caressed his length with both her hands while swirling her tongue around his head.
“I’m going to come. You’ve got to stop.”
She didn’t let go. She didn’t move her mouth. Instead, she sucked another inch inside the heated interior and moved on him with inexperienced, but highly erotic motions.
He felt like the top of his head was coming off, but he wanted to be inside her when he climaxed. It was the sweetest sensation and one that had become an integral part of his complete satisfaction. He forced her head back and quickly lifting her under her armpits he lined their bodies up for his penetration. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she spread her legs. Locking them around him, she settled onto his aching flesh in one slow downward thrust.
She was making love to him.
It felt better than he’d fantasized and he went over the brink almost immediately. She came with him, her body convulsing around his pulsing sex while her teeth locked onto his shoulder in pleasure-pain.
Panting from the cataclysmic explosion, he hugged her to him with arms like manacles. It was only as sanity returned in slow increments that the different quality in their lovemaking alerted him to a devastating reality. He had taken her without protection. Or rather, she’d taken him. Not that it mattered. His baby-making sperm were swimming inside her right now and that was the only reality he could grasp.
If she got pregnant, there was a chance he could convince her to stay with him. As quickly as the thought formed, he felt ashamed of it. She deserved something better than to be trapped into a long-term relationship.
Guilt followed the shame as close as one Siamese twin is to another. It was all his fault. She’d never had a lover outside of marriage, was as close to being a virgin as a once-married woman could get. He’d been the one to seduce her in the shower, to beg her to touch him . . . to lose control and enter her without putting on a condom first.
“Baby?”
“Mmm?”
“I didn’t use anything.”
She mumbled something against his chest.
“What?”
Suddenly, her head flipped back and she looked at him in shock. “Did you just say you didn’t use anything?” Then she shook her head, her eyes wide and slightly wild. “Of course you didn’t. We were in the shower.” She looked down at their still-joined bodies. “Oh, Simon, I’m so sorry.”
Even now, he didn’t want to let her go and one hand settled under her behind. “You’re not the one who forgot birth control.”
She winced at his tone and he felt worse, but she made no attempt to distance herself from him physically.
“Actually, we both forgot. I didn’t give it a thought, but it’s all my fault that you did. I seduced you into such a frenzy, you weren’t likely to remember anything mundane like that.” She didn’t sound as upset as she should.
If he didn’t think it was beyond the realm of possibility, he would have said she sounded proud of herself even.
“Protection isn’t exactly mundane.”
“Well, it’s not on par with making love either.”
“Obviously,” he said wryly. “Is pregnancy very likely?” He had to ask.
She blushed and if he hadn’t been feeling so guilty, he would have laughed. She’d taken him into her mouth without a qualm, but blushed when asked about her menstrual cycle.
She bit her lip in a gesture that always made him feel both protective and horny. “Do you want the truth or a peace-providing lie?”
“The truth.”
“If I remember high school health class correctly, we’re on the outer edge of the zone.”
He couldn’t begin to explain the hope that took root inside him and just would not let go, nor could he explain the sudden surge of lust that had him hardening all over again.
Her eyes widened. “Simon?”
He felt heat in his own cheeks. How did you tell a modern woman who was involved in a uncommitted sexual relationship with you that the thought of getting her pregnant was a major turn-on? “I guess I’d better let you go.”
Her dark brown eyes went liquid with desire. “Um . . . we’ve pretty much done the damage, haven’t we?”
Was she saying she didn’t want him to let her go? His arousal grew in response to the thought. “According to statistical averages, the added risk of pregnancy from a second unprotected e
ncounter would be minimal.”
She laughed, her breath hitching when he moved inside of her. “You sound just like a university lecturer.”
“I feel like a man who is on the verge of something earth shaking.”
“You say the sweetest things.”
Amanda was the first woman who had ever seen him as even approaching romantic. “You say too much sometimes,” he growled against her lips before taking them.
Two hours later, replete from a decadent brunch provided by Jacob, Amanda’s hand rested in the warm clasp of Simon’s as they walked along the shoreline. She’d been trying to work up enough sangfroid to mention that he didn’t need to worry about contracting any nasty disease from her, but they’d both been avoiding the topic of their unprotected sex earlier and she didn’t know how to open the subject up again.
She inhaled the clean salt air, enjoying the way it woke her senses. “You know, I can understand you wanting to live on an island. Everything is so fresh here, so clean and so quiet.”
His hand squeezed hers. “I like it.”
“I do too.” Which was surprising considering where she was accustomed to living. “The water is cold though.”
They were walking in their bare feet and her toes had gone numb from the frigid surf.
“If it weren’t, the beaches would be a lot more crowded along with this island.”
“I guess you’re right.” But it would still be nice to be able to feel her toes.
“My swimming pool is heated.” His voice had dropped to that sexy tone that sent messages of delight to the secret places of her body.
“Is it?”
“You haven’t been in it since you came.”
“I didn’t bring a suit.” She’d packed for a business trip, one she’d expected to be much shorter than this one had become.
He smiled down at her, his usually cool gray eyes warm with the desire that was so much a part of their relationship now. “Swimming without is one of the privileges of owning your own pool.”
“I’ve never been skinny dipping before.” She’d never wanted to. She’d never had the confidence to want to put her body on display like that, but the idea of doing so with Simon was titillating rather than scary. Still . . . “What if Jacob came down to tell you that you had a phone message or something?”
“I’ll tell him not to disturb us.”
“Then he’ll know what we’re doing.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized how ridiculous they sounded. It wasn’t as if Jacob could actually miss the fact she’d moved into his boss’s bed.
Simon didn’t answer, but with an apologetic look, he lifted his watch and spoke into it. “Yes, Jacob?”
“Master Joey is on the phone.”
“I’ll be right up.”
He looked down at Amanda. “It’s my nephew. I promised to come and see him this week, but I forgot.” He brushed her cheek. “Things got a little crazy.”
She smiled, loving the way he made her feel when he touched her like that. “You’d better go see him today if you’re going to keep your promise this week.”
Simon nodded. “We’ll have to put off our swim to another time. Come on, I’d better get up there before he talks Jacob into telling him another Secret Service story. Last time, Elaine was mad at me for a week.”
“Why?” she gasped out, having to jog to keep up with Simon’s long strides.
“Jacob’s stories can get pretty gruesome.”
She could imagine, the man loved to emote.
They reached the house a few seconds later and she left Simon to answer the phone while she went upstairs to check her e-mail. There was a message from Jill and she answered it. There was also an e-mail from her mother. She’d listed a condo in Amanda’s building with her real estate agency and wanted to know if Amanda was interested in selling too.
Amanda deleted the message without replying. It was, after all, nothing but e-mail solicitation and she never replied to junk mail. She ignored the twinge of pain she experienced at the knowledge that that bit of salesmanship had been the first time her mother had bothered to contact her in over six months.
“Can you be ready to go in ten minutes?” Simon asked from just inside the bedroom doorway.
She turned off her computer and stood up. “Go where?”
“To see Joey, remember?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to take me with you.”
“Why the hell not?”
“It’s a family thing. I’m not family.” She wasn’t treated like family by her own parents and brother, why on earth would Simon’s relatives want her around?
“You’re my girlfriend. That’s close enough.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Yes, girlfriend. Do you have a problem with that?” He looked wary.
She shook her head. “I just didn’t realize you wanted anyone to know about us.”
He ran his fingers back through the loose strands of his shoulder-length black hair, his expression frustrated. “When have I ever said that? I love sex with you, but you’re not just a business associate I happen to be screwing. I thought you realized that.”
“I do.” Their relationship might not be permanent, but he’d never relegated it to merely sex either. She didn’t know what to say to get that irritated expression off his gorgeous features. “I’ll change my clothes.”
She didn’t have a lot of selection to choose from, but she assumed a visit with his nephew would be pretty casual. So, she pulled out her one pair of jeans and a white button-up blouse she usually wore with a suit. She cuffed the sleeves and left the top three buttons undone before slipping on a pair of white sandals.
She turned to face Simon. “I’m ready.”
He had changed into a pair of black jeans and matching T-shirt. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail and he looked positively yummy.
He also looked very serious. “Amanda, are you embarrassed about my cousin knowing we’re together?”
“No!” She crossed the room and put her hands on his forearms. “I didn’t want to intrude. That’s all.”
“It could be pretty awkward with your boss if he realized you were sleeping with the enemy, I suppose.”
Awkward wasn’t the word she would use to describe the way Daniel would respond to such news. Glee might be a better candidate. “You’re not the enemy,” was all she said.
“No, I’m not.” He stared down at her, an enigmatic expression in his gray eyes. “I wonder if you will remember that, if the merger doesn’t go through.”
He didn’t give her a chance to reply, but pulled her out of the room. They jogged down the stairs and out through the great room onto the deck.
“Where are we going?”
He tugged her toward the stairway that connected the deck with the yard. “To my cousin’s.”
“But the car . . . .”
“We’re taking the boat. Eric will pick us up from the pier.”
“Oh.” She followed Simon to the end of the deck where he lifted her onto the small yacht.
“Jacob’s at the wheel, but I’ve got to cast off.” He untied ropes that held the boat to the dock and then vaulted aboard when the last one had been loosened. He took a few minutes securing the rigging before coming back to her.
“It takes a little over an hour which isn’t quite as fast as the ferry, but we don’t have to worry about missing it coming home either.”
“Jacob told me most of the island residents have their own boats.”
“It’s a matter of safety as well as necessity. You never know when ferry service is going to be interrupted.”
She’d certainly found that out, not that she was complaining. “You don’t have to worry about gossiping ferry officials either.”
Simon’s mouth quirked. “That’s true.”
True to his word, it only took an hour to reach the mainland and Eric was waiting for them at the pier.
He smiled when he saw Amanda. “Hi. How are the merger negotiatio
ns going?”
Her returning smile was rueful. “Your cousin is stubborn. He listened to the proposal and all the benefits I outlined to you, but I don’t think it made any difference.”
Simon’s arm dropped casually around her shoulder. “But she’s welcome to keep trying to change my mind.”
Eric looked at Simon’s hold on her and then at Amanda’s face with a speculative gleam, but he said nothing. He opened the back passenger door on a silver Mercedes sedan. “Elaine and Joey are waiting at home.”
“What about Jacob?” Amanda asked as Simon handed her into the backseat of the luxury car.
“He’ll keep himself occupied.”
“Won’t he feel left out?”
Eric laughed from the front seat as he started the car. “Jacob is Simon’s employee, not his best friend. You don’t need to worry about him, Amanda.”
She didn’t agree entirely with that assessment and her look to Simon told him so.
“Jacob has an old friend he likes to visit when we come to the mainland. He doesn’t feel neglected at all.”
“Oh. Okay then.” The irascible old man irritated her no end, but she liked him.
“I imagine being on the mainland feels good after so many days on the island,” Eric said to her.
“I don’t know. I think I could easily live there year round. Simon does it.”
Eric’s laugh filled this roomy interior of the car. “Yes, but Simon doesn’t look at life the same way other people do. He prefers his solitude.”
She did too, when that solitude included Simon, but she didn’t say it. Her first comment could be construed as a broad hint to Simon that she wanted to stay already. She didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or to sound like a clinging vine.
“How’s Elaine?” Simon asked.
Eric’s smile slipped. “Morning sick and emotional. I feel so helpless and it only gets worse. It’s a darn good thing she only wants two children. I don’t think I could go through this again.”
Amanda’s hand slipped to her stomach. She could be pregnant with Simon’s baby. Would he feel the same way about pregnancy? Would he only want one child like her parents had or two like Eric and Elaine? Maybe he didn’t want any.