Like a Broken Doll

by Anne Schraff

  “Sereeta has a lot of friends who love her,” Jaris protested. “We all got together and had that birthday party for her when she was feeling down. She loves her friends. It’s all she’s got, Mom. How could that creep think he could rip her out of where she belongs and send her to some strange school where she wouldn’t know anybody? Mom, what did Sereeta’s mother have to say about the idea? Is she buying it or what? Does she want to get rid of her own daughter?”

  Mom frowned. “Olivia is so anxious to make this marriage work. I think she and Perry are both living a kind of fantasy. They’re young kids again, starting out their married life with a baby. They wear young clothing, like teenagers do. Olivia bought most of her stuff Saturday where I take Chelsea to shop. It was so maddening. There was rock music blaring, and here we were, Olivia and I, elbowing fourteen-and fifteen-year-old girls out of the way to get to the clothing. I was embarrassed. Perry dresses like a kid too. He listens to rap music and pretends he loves it. When you see Perry from the back, you think he is a kid. He’s slim, athletic . . . but then he turns, and here is this forty-something-year-old man and it’s kinda gross. But they have this fantasy, and it’s like Sereeta is disturbing the fantasy.”

  “So,” Jaris said bitterly, “what you’re saying is, she’s cool with the idea of sending Sereeta away. She’d like to get rid of Sereeta, stick her in some freakin’ boarding school. Is that what you’re saying, Mom?”

  “Yes, sweetie. I’m afraid so,” Mom agreed. “Olivia will lapse into some weepy, sentimental mother thing about Sereeta, but then she’s skipping through the junior’s section and trying to squeeze herself into a kid’s top.”

  “Mom, she can’t do that. She can’t send Sereeta away,” Jaris groaned.

  “What about the grandmother?” Pop said, joining the conversation. “I’ve met her. She’s a good lady.”

  “She’s in her seventies, though,” Mom noted. “Would she want the responsibility of a teenager?”

  When Jaris saw Sereeta at school, he decided not to mention the boarding school thing if she didn’t. He thought she may have her own strategy for dealing with it. Instead, he said, “Sereeta, it’s great that all the missing money problems have been cleared up at school, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Sereeta said. “It’s great being in the clear!”

  “So how’s everything going, Sereeta?” Jaris asked nervously.

  “The kids at school have sort of stopped gossiping about Mom’s showing up at school like that. That’s the good thing about gossip. It fades away to make a room for the next juicy bits,” Sereeta half joked. “Your mom and mine went shopping the other day, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Jaris said.

  “It’s funny,” Sereeta commented. “Mom wants to be younger than she is, so she dresses like a kid. I want to be older. I want to be seventeen and starting college.”

  Jaris didn’t say anything. He was looking forward to college too. He was going to the community college about three miles away. Then he’d transfer to the state university and take the education units he needed to be a teacher. Most of Jaris’s friends were doing the same thing, so the little gang from Tubman would be together. Except for Sereeta, Jaris thought painfully.

  “They’d like me to move out right now and go to boarding school,” Sereeta stated in a calm voice. “They can’t wait for college.”

  “Your mom wants that?” Jaris asked in a shaken voice. He knew about it, of course, but he had been hoping that his mother may have made too much of Olivia’s comments. Jaris had hoped that Sereeta’s mother really didn’t want her sixteen-year-old girl to move away.

  “Well, Perry wants it, and whatever Perry wants, Perry gets,” Sereeta explained. “We don’t get along, you know, my stepfather and me. We don’t fight or anything. We just quietly hate each other. Maybe ‘hate’ is too strong a word. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. And the funny part is, neither one of us is really to blame. I don’t like him because he’s not my father and because Mom cares more for him than she does for me. He dislikes me because I remind him that he’s not a kid anymore. His wife is poking at her face, and putting on antiwrinkle cream, and talking about getting a little nip and tuck eventually. But how young can she be with a kid my age? It’s like we’d both like the other one to disappear. But I don’t know how to make him disappear, and he thinks he’s found a way to make me disappear.”

  “Sereeta,” Jaris begged her in an impassioned voice, “you can’t let them send you to boarding school. They can’t make you go. The school wouldn’t want a student who hated being there. You know how we’ve all planned to do our senior year together at Tubman. We’re almost there, Sereeta. She can’t take that away from us.”

  “I know, Jaris,” Sereeta agreed. “But we—me and Perry—can be like two scorpions in a bottle, ripping at each other in that hateful house that isn’t home anymore. The war will just continue.”

  “Sereeta, so many kids are your friends at Tubman. We’re a team. Remember your birthday party? We all love you so much . . . I, uh, love you in a special way, but you’ve got a lotta real friends . . . please, Sereeta, don’t let anybody do this to you—to us.”

  Sereeta smiled. She leaned forward and kissed Jaris on the lips. “I love you too. Didn’t I tell you that when you gave me those magnificent earrings? But I feel sorry for you, Jaris, loving somebody like me. I am so not like you. You got it all together, and I’m flying off the planet in a million little pieces.”

  “Like a broken doll,” Jaris thought but didn’t say the words. Instead, he kept trying to change her mind.

  “That’s not my doing,” Jaris told her. “My parents are solid, and you got a different kind of family. A few times when my parents were arguing, I almost panicked. I thought how could I deal with them splitting up? I felt like I was in an earthquake and the ground was shaking. I hate change when it means losing people I care about.”

  “I guess change is part of life, or so they say,” Sereeta mused.

  “But not now, Sereeta,” Jaris persisted. “Not for you and me. Not you being pulled out of Tubman when you need to be there, when you belong there. After we graduate from Tubman, I hope we’re still close when we go to college, but I’m not talking about that now. I want you in my senior year at Tubman, Sereeta. If you’re not there, then I don’t care about anything, I swear. I don’t even care if I go to freakin’ high school or if I drop out and become a motorcycle bum.”

  Sereeta laughed a forlorn little laugh. “Now you got me scared, Jaris. You’re getting to be a crazy person like me. Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Ms. McDowell scheduled the first of the three rehearsals for the Tubman birthday celebration in the school auditorium. The teacher was in jeans and a black pullover, and she looked stunning as she came on stage and addressed the students working on the program.

  “We’ve created really great scenery,” she began, “thanks to some amazing students. The background is going to look like a gloomy, woodsy area in the South where Tubman led her little band of fugitive slaves. Destini Fletcher and Trevor Jenkins painted the scenes and designed the background, and to them a humble thank-you. We’ve got excellent lighting, and the glee club has promised to outdo themselves. But the focus is going to be on you guys, the actors. You all have good voices, and you need to put your heart into this.”

  Ms. McDowell smiled encouragingly to all the students and then nodded to Marko Lane. Marko stepped on stage and flashed a proud smile. Like the others, he was already in costume dressed in a ragged white shirt and dark trousers. “I can’t imagine bein’ a slave,” Marko announced. “Anybody trying to make me a slave would have his head busted first.”

  “All right, Marko,” Ms. McDowell said impatiently. “We all know you’re a proud, strong young man who treasures his freedom and wouldn’t tolerate slavery. But that’s easy for us to say because we were born free, unlike our African-American ancestors. My own great grandmother was a slave in L
ouisiana. So just do your part, Marko.”

  Marko stood there and held forth: “My name is Benjamin and I am twenty-eight years old. I have suffered under slavery all my life. My back bears the scars of many a whippin’. I don’t remember my mother or father. My mistress was a devilish woman who showed us no mercy. Then one night this lady showed me the way to freedom. Along came Harriett Tubman.”

  Alonee got up to read. She was playing a slave named Jane, owned by the worst man in the county and beaten daily. Derrick Shaw and Kevin Walker read their parts with strong emotion.

  Then it was Jaris’s turn. He had been looking forward to making his presentation, but now his heart was heavy with worry over Sereeta’s future. That anxiety cast a dark shadow over everything. Still, he gave it his best.

  “My name is Charles Nalle. I escaped slavery and made it all the way to Troy, New York, where there was no slavery. I thought I was safe, but the slave catchers tracked me down. Even in a free state, I was not free. They dragged me off to return me to my master in the South. But suddenly a woman came out of nowhere. She grabbed the officer holding me and pushed him away. The she wrapped her arms around me and cried, ‘Don’t let them have him,’ and I was saved. She was Harriett Tubman.”

  Finally it was time for Sereeta. Jaris looked at the slim, fragile girl. He wanted to put his arms around her as Harriet Tubman had put her arms around that young slave. Jaris wanted to save Sereeta, but he didn’t know how.

  Sereeta briefly recited the life of Harriet Tubman, speaking in the first person. She told of her harrowing childhood, the struggles of her adult life, and the courage to lead so many fugitive slaves to freedom. In a faltering voice, Sereeta described the moment of freedom, “The sun came up and shimmered like gold through the trees.”

  Ms. McDowell was pleased with the first dress rehearsal. “It’s going to be excellent,” she announced. “I’m proud of all of you.”

  After the rehearsal, Pop picked Sereeta and Jaris up for the ride home.

  “Coming to see us celebrate Harriet Tubman’s birthday in two weeks, Mr. Spain?” Sereeta asked.

  “Girl, you better believe it,” Pop replied. “Monie and I’ll be there for you both. I’m really looking forward to it. What a great idea. I mean, everybody knows the name of the school and that Tubman was a great lady. But how many kids or parents really got the lowdown on that amazing woman? They don’t know from nothing about her. They got all the sports stats for these jerks hauling in a million bucks a season or more. They know who’s splitting with who in Hollywood. But we don’t know much about the people who made this country great. It’s a rotten shame.”

  He glanced at Sereeta. “We’ll be there to see our boy, Jaris, and you too, baby girl. Harriet Tubman is somewhere in a golden place, and she’s looking over the whole situation. I know she’s mighty proud of the girl who gets to play her.”

  “Thank you,” Sereeta responded, her voice trembling a little. Jaris could see she was deeply touched by the compliment.

  Jaris spent hours wondering how he might change what was about to happen to Sereeta. He felt he had at least to try to talk some sense into her mother and stepfather. He knew it was not his place to get involved and they’d probably resent it. Even Sereeta wouldn’t want it, Jaris thought. But he had to try. So, when Sereeta went over to visit her grandmother on a Thursday night before a school holiday and said she’d be gone until Friday afternoon, Jaris made his move. He rode his motorcycle over to the Manley house.

  Jaris rapped on the door and Perry Manley appeared. “Hi Mr. Manley. I’m Jaris Spain—I’m—” he began.

  “Yes, I know who you are. You’re her boyfriend,” Mr. Manley said with a noticeable lack of warmth.

  “I was wondering if I could come in and talk to you and your wife for just a few minutes,” Jaris asked. His voice was cracking. His knees were knocking together so badly he hoped Manley couldn’t hear them. He thought to himself, “You fool, what makes you think you can change the minds of these adults—you, a sixteen-year-old jerk!”

  But he had to try.

  “Come in,” Manley said. “We have a dinner engagement in about forty-five minutes, but if you can be brief.” Then he called to another room, “Olivia, there’s a boy here, a friend of Sereeta’s. He wants to talk to us.”

  Olivia came into the room as Jaris sat down in the living room. She had finally remembered Jaris’s name. “Hello Jaris,” she said with a wan smile. “So nice to see you again.”

  “I bet you guys are excited that Sereeta was chosen to play Harriet Tubman in the birthday celebration at Tubman High, huh?” Jaris started. “It’s quite an honor.”

  “Oh?” Manley replied. “She hasn’t told us yet.”

  “I think she mentioned something about it, sweetheart,” Mrs. Manley remarked in a timid voice.

  “Uh, what I came to ask you guys . . . ,” Jaris began, “Sereeta said something about maybe doing her senior year at a boarding school and not finishing at Tubman. I just wanted you to know she’s got so many friends at Tubman and they love her a lot. I think, you know, she needs the support of her friends for her senior year. We’ve all been together for like twelve years and graduating together has always been a big dream for all of us.” Jaris got his message out, in spite of the thunderous pounding of his heart.

  “Well, we have to consider what’s best for her,” Manley responded. He looked at his watch, then continued. “She’s been under a lot of stress adjusting to things, and we thought it might be best for her to be in an entirely new environment. She might be better able to put her problems behind her.”

  “Yes,” Sereeta’s mother agreed. “The poor child has tried to adjust, but she has her issues.”

  Jaris grew desperate and, in his desperation, had to speak up. “Sereeta has had a hard time with the family situation here. She thinks she doesn’t count for much around here. So if you separate her from her friends too, then she has nobody, you know?”

  “Doesn’t count for much?” Manley snapped. “How absurd! My wife and I have moved heaven and earth to try to help that girl accept me. She is a bitter young woman who has refused to accept that my wife and I married. She can be quite hateful at times, and she is creating intolerable problems for us.”

  Olivia Manley dabbed at her eyes with the corner of a lace handkerchief. “We’ve tried,” she whimpered. “But Sereeta does not seem to care about my happiness, only her own.”

  “Young man,” Mr. Manley asserted, “I’m sure you had the best of intentions when you came here, but the truth is, this is not your business. You are Sereeta’s teenaged boyfriend, not her family. I’m sure you will have many other girlfriends. You don’t want to lose your current girlfriend. The social lives of people your age are constantly changing, but we have much more important concerns. We have to protect our home and our marriage. We have to build a home for our son. Sereeta, quite frankly, does not belong here. She is not happy here, and she is making us unhappy. That is the way it is.” Mr. Manley looked at his watch again and got up. He expected that to be a signal for Jaris to leave. Olivia Manley was now weeping softly.

  “So you’re throwing her out, right?” Jaris asked bitterly. “Like the old curtains that don’t match your new sofa.”

  “How ugly of you to put it that way,” Mr. Manley declared. “You are a rude young man, and I don’t like you very much. We are sending her to a boarding school for her own good and for the good of this family.”

  “You never cared about her,” Jaris told her, anger and sorrow rising inside him. “You didn’t even go see her when she played in A Tale of Two Cities. She was the female lead! All the parents came. But you didn’t. She was so hurt. You should’ve seen her crying about that.”

  “Good evening to you, young man, and do not come again,” Perry Manley commanded. “You are not welcome.”

  As Jaris got up and turned to go, Olivia Manley looked up at him and sobbed. “J-Jaris, I do care. I do care. Ohhh, as God is my judge, I do care . . . but I
. . . I . . . don’t know how to love her. I don’t know how to love her anymore.” She lowered her face into her hands and wept as Jaris left the house. Jaris knew he had failed miserably in what he had come to do. Sereeta may even be furious that he had come.

  But he had to try.

  Sereeta never said anything to Jaris about his visit to her house, and Jaris didn’t bring it up. He didn’t know if she knew he’d come, and he wouldn’t try to find out.

  A few weeks later, a large crowd of people gathered at the high school on the night of the Harriet Tubman birthday celebration. Parents and friends of the students quickly filled the auditorium seats. People from the media—from the newspapers and television stations—had come to cover the unusual event. Schools didn’t usually have birthday parties for their namesakes, especially when no one was even sure of the person’s exact birthday.

  Jaris’s parents came early. They waved at him as he got ready to take his place. They were in a front row. Jaris’s grandmother, his mother’s mother, whom Jaris did not even like much, came as well. Jaris recognized all his friends’ parents.

  Jaris did not see Perry and Olivia Manley in the auditorium, but maybe they would still show up. They might be latecomers. Jaris had told them how hurt Sereeta was that they hadn’t seen her in A Tale of Two Cities. So maybe they would come to this. Jaris clung to a fantasy that even he did not believe—a warm moment between Sereeta, her mother, and stepfather. He dreamed of an unlikely healing, like those in tearjerker movies as the music swelled.

  The curtain opened with the glee club singing old spirituals. The ringing lyrics of “Go Down, Moses” and “Let My People Go” filled the auditorium. Then the dramatic scenery was exposed, and the players walked out, one by one, each lit by a stark spotlight. Jaris had to admit that Marko Lane looked and sounded great. He spoke with throbbing emotion in his strong tenor voice.