"You won't. But that will make you try harder every day. Lover her more everyday so she feels that you are deserving of her. The ever-trite adage, actions speak louder than words."
"I can do that." I say confidently. "I'd do it regardless, because she deserves the world."
"Then show that to her. A wise man once said that every saint has a past, and every sinner a future. Make that future yours."
I nod numbly, because I feel like I can do it. Turn my life around. Change a little day by day.
"Thank you." I stand up to leave, the clock showing that our session's ended.
"Make sure you recommend me to your other killer buddies; I give great discounts." She winks at me as I leave and I shake my head, chuckling.
I can't believe that a mafioso's daughter would do this type of work, but I can see the usefulness of it. I still can't help but wonder how Francesco had allowed such a thing, with her being unmarried at her age. It's not at all the traditional way, and it gives me hope for the future—for my daughter and my sisters.
I'm about to head back home when I get a sudden phone call from a terrified Venezia.
"Slow down, Venezia. What happened?"
"It's Sisi... I don't know, she just started bleeding. I called an ambulance. We're at the hospital now."
Shit!
I get into my car and drive straight to the hospital. At the reception desk, I give her name and a nurse intercepts me.
"I'm her brother." I add when she seems skeptical about our connection.
"The doctor just saw her. She's sedated right now."
"What's wrong with her?"
She hesitates and instead forwards me to Sisi's attending physician.
"Mr. Lastra. I'm sorry to inform you that your sister suffered an early miscarriage."
My face falls, and I ask again to make sure I didn't mishear. He continues to reassure me it's nothing worrying. I don't think he realizes just how shocked I am to hear that Assisi was pregnant at all. With whom? She never left the house, never saw anyone...
But then I remember. Rafaelo Guerra. Damn!
"You don't have to worry. There's nothing wrong with your sister. She was about eight weeks pregnant and the placenta failed to deliver nutrients to the fetus. Sometimes this happens, but it shouldn't affect her future chances at having children. You should be supportive of her during this time. She seemed grief-stricken at the news."
"Thank you for letting me know." I say numbly. I meet Venezia right outside Sisi's salon, and she's in tears.
"Did you know she was pregnant?" I ask, thinking that maybe she'd shared that with her sister.
Venezia shakes her head. "No... I heard about it for the first time too."
We wait outside until the nurse in charge lets us know Sisi is awake. I tell Venezia to let me talk to her first, and she reluctantly agrees.
When I enter the salon room, Sisi is sitting on her bed, head hung low, pain written all over her face.
"Sisi?" I ask, taking a step towards her.
She raises her head and I can see that her eyes are wet.
"Marcello?" She seems surprised to see me, but then she shakes her head. "I'm sorry." She whispers.
"There's nothing to be sorry about, Sisi. Will you tell me what happened?" I take a chair and place it next to her bed.
She looks conflicted, but eventually she shakes her head.
"Who was the father, Sisi?" I ask as gently as possible. I just can't imagine who it could have been.
She's still quiet, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"Was it Rafaelo?" I change tactics, since he's the only man she's been in contact with outside family.
She suddenly raises her head, eyes wide, lips trembling.
"It was him." I state, more aggressively than before. "Did he force you?" I immediately question. God help me, if he did, he's dead!
"No!" She cries. "No! It wasn't like that."
"What was it like then? Do you love him?"
Sisi stares at me for a second, her eyes fearful – of what I don't know.
"I do!" She exclaims, a little too loud. "I love him, ok?"
"God! He dishonored you!" I stand up, hostility rolling off every pore in my body. I don't care about my outstanding deal with Benedicto. His son is going to pay for this. He took advantage of a girl barely out of the convent. What does she know about love? Sex?
"Stop, please." She utters the last word with such emotion that I do.
"We're getting married." She continues.
"Married? Says who?"
"We talked about it. He asked me, and I accepted."
"Sisi... it's too early. Please think about it. You don't have to do this just because you slept with him." I don't want her to do something she will regret for the rest of her life just because she went to bed with the boy.
"No... this just makes me more sure. We're good together. We get each other. Please, Marcello." The way she's pleading with me makes it hard to say no.
"We'll talk about this. I must discuss with Benedicto." I add, even though I know that Benedicto will more than welcome the match. It had been his intention from the very beginning. Still, knowing that makes this whole situation even more questionable. Why do I feel like there's something more? Something that Sisi isn't saying?
If I find out Rafaelo coerced her... I will not stay still.
I exit the room, trying to calm my own rising temper. Sisi is clearly distraught by her miscarriage, and I don't want that to influence her decision.
Feeling like the situation is simply above my paygrade, I do the only thing I can think of.
I call Catalina.
THE MOMENT I SEE HER sauntering over to us, I lose all sense. It's like water for a parched man. And I drink her up. She's wearing a pair of dark jeans, a first for her, paired with a tight white blouse that emphasizes her curves. Damn if I'm not gawking.
She's even more beautiful than before.
She stops in front of me and we both stare at each other awkwardly. I don't speak and neither does she. Her mouth parts slightly, her tongue wetting her lower lips. I think I might grow hard just from that sight alone.
To prevent any embarrassing incident from happening, I take the lead.
"Sisi is there. You should go." Her eyebrows knit in a frown at my words. Damn! I should have remembered that my voice is not as it used to be.
She stares at me for a second, her mouth still agape, before nodding. She reluctantly moves, going inside Sisi's salon.
"What's with you two?" Venezia asks when I take a seat next to her.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you like getting divorced?"
"No, we're not."
"Cool. That's cool." She nods, redirecting her attention to her phone.
It's around an hour later that Lina comes back, closing the door to us.
"How was it?" I inquire, trying to keep the excitement in my voice to a minimum. This is about Assisi.
She shakes her head.
"I'll just go see her now." Venezia looks between the two of us skeptically.
"Sure." I nod to her.
"Would you like to grab something to drink?" I turn to Lina once more after Venezia's gone.
"I'd like that." She replies, a slight blush staining her cheeks.
We go to the cafeteria and we get a cup of coffee each, and finding an empty table we take a seat.
"So," She starts, her gaze on the cup of coffee in her hands. "How have you been?"
"Good... I've been good." Why am I anxious? And why am I replying with the most basic things? I shake my head and I tell myself to just go with the flow. There's no reason to be fretting about this, even though it takes me all my willpower not to sweep her off her feet into the closest janitor closet and fuck the life out of her.
God! I cringe internally at the direction of my thoughts. What have I become?
"Marcello?" Lina leans forward, looking at me with worry in her eyes.
"Yes?" I blink in rapid
succession, trying to ground myself.
"I asked you a question."
"Sorry I didn't hear." I grimace. I don't want her to think I'm not paying attention to her when that's all I'm doing.
"Did you know about Sisi and Rafaelo? I just can't believe that they..." She trails off.
"Had sex?"
"Yes." That blush makes another appearance, bringing her freckles into focus... making me want to kiss each one of them... one by one.... I shake myself again. Why am I such a horndog? It's only been two months! Last time it was ten years, and I had no issues.
"I didn't realize either. But if she wants to marry him. I won't stand between them."
"That's good. She deserves to be happy." Lina adds, her fingers fidgeting. That's the one thing that tells me she's not quite at ease either.
"I missed you." I suddenly say, not being able to hold this in much longer.
"I missed you too."
"I've been working on myself and I think I'm on the right path." I admit.
"I'm glad, Marcello. I meant it; you know. I forgive you." She stretches her arm across the table and places her hand on top of mine.
"Come with me!" My voice is urgent, and I tug her to her feet, leaving our untouched drinks on the table.
"What..."
I walk fast, remembering a small door we'd passed by. It's a long shot but... I open it, and it's a tiny storage closet. But it's enough to fit the two of us.
I drag her inside and shut the door.
"Marcello?" Lina's voice has a breathless quality to it, and it's only making me harder. Damn it! I should have more restraint than this.
"God, Lina!" I groan, backing her into the corner. "I can't believe you're here." I breathe in her scent, trying to convince myself this isn't a dream.
"We shouldn't do this... not until you're ready."
"I'm ready. So ready." I rasp, knowing fully well we're not talking about the same type of readiness. I take her hand and I press it on my cock, wanting her to feel how ready I am for her.
"Oh." She gasps, and for a second I think she's going to pull back. But she doesn't. Her fingers wrestle with the zipper of my pants, and reaching inside, she takes me in her hand.
"God!" I moan breathlessly, and in a frenzy my mouth seeks hers.
She keeps on touching me, her fingers gripping my shaft tighter.
Her tongue in my mouth is the flavor I never knew I was missing in life. We kiss like two desperate people on the brink of a precipice.
My hands go lower until I reach the opening of her jeans.
"What the fuck!" Someone bellows from behind.
I barely have time to tuck myself in and zip up as a crowd gathers around.
"Shit!" I mutter, hugging Lina to my chest so she won't be seen, I lead her away from the closet. There are whispers behind us, and people laughing.
Fuck!
She's going to be mortified. What was in my head, really? I mentally berate myself for my lack of self-control. It's only when we're back in the hallway of Sisi's salon that I let go of her, expecting to see disappointment on her face. She looks at me wide-eyed before she giggles, bending forward with laughter.
"Lord! That was..." She starts, but can't stop laughing.
"You're not mad?" I ask tentatively.
She shakes her head, tears at the corners of her eyes from too much exertion.
"No... not at all." She says and gives me a knowing smile. I can't help but return it, and we stay like that for a bit.
It's at that moment that Venezia comes out of Sisi's salon, a look of bewilderment on her face.
"Sisi's asleep." She narrows her eyes at us, and both Lina and I can't help but grin. "What's with you guys?" She shakes her head, taking her seat and plugging her headphones in.
"We should tone it down. For Sisi." Lina says and I nod. She's right. We need to focus on my sister right now. But that doesn't mean that I'm not taking her home tonight.
Chapter Thirty-two
"YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE OK? You can talk to me about anything." I drape over the blanket over Sisi's small body. She's curled up in bed, her eyes red from too much crying. I'm worried about her. She hasn't been the same since we left Sacre Coeur, and I have no idea why.
"Thank you, Lina." She gives me a tremulous smile before turning around, ending the conversation.
I sigh and I turn to leave. The doctor had discharged her late in the afternoon and had suggested she'd be more comfortable at home with a support system. I just wish she would open up to me, but I know she must still be in shock. From what I gathered; she had no idea she was even pregnant.
I close the door to her door and I find Marcello waiting outside, leaning on the baluster.
"Everything all right?" He asks when he sees the slight frown on my forehead. I give him a brisk nod. He holds out his hand for me and I take it, entwining my fingers with his. We go to his office and he pours two glasses of scotch. Handing me one, he takes a seat across from me.
"How's Claudia?" He asks.
"She's good. Mrs. Evans started teaching her at Enzo's house."
He nods, lowering his gaze to his glass.
It's almost surreal to be back here. For the past two months, Marcello hadn't left my mind. I kept on wondering how he was doing, but I didn't want to intrude or impede his progress, so I'd stayed away. I'd lost myself in my designs, and I even found a market for them. Who knew that people were so hungry for handmade stuff? It had started as a hobby, but soon I started earning money too. I think that had been the most shocking thing. As the daughter of a capo, I wasn't expected to work for money, but to leave all that to my husband. When I'd seen my first check, even though it had only been a couple hundred dollars, I'd been more than thrilled. I'd seen my first shot at independence.
But then he called. I don't think I've ever been as happy as when I'd seen his number pop up on my screen. I'd had plenty of time to think about our relationship, especially with Enzo's constant interference. He's dislike of Marcello continued, and so he tried to change my mind every chance he got. But I never faltered.
I want him or no one else. I think I even convinced my brother, because when I'd rushed to the hospital he hadn't even argued with me, offering to watch Claudia while I was away.
"And you? How have you been?" He raises his eyes just a little. Where is the confident Marcello from before? The one that was about to take me in a storage closet?
"I started my business. It's going well, I think." His mouth curls up.
"You think?"
I shrug. "People seem to like my designs."
"I'm proud of you." His knowing smile makes me think this isn't the first time he's heard of this.
"Since you called me... " I start, trying to find the courage to ask him if he's doing well enough to let me in.
"Yes." He immediately says, not letting me finish. "It means exactly that." Putting his glass on the study, he moves closer until he's in front of me. His fingers brush against my hair, tugging a stray strand behind my ear. I tilt my head back so I can look him in the eyes. "Dear God, you have no idea how much I missed you. But I had to..." He shakes his head slightly, his already husky voice sounding even harsher with the intensity of his emotions. "To give myself fully to you, I needed to find myself first."
"Did you?" I ask, almost breathless from his proximity.
He nods, his fingers tracing my lips. "It's a process, but I'm getting there. I want to show you something." Unbuttoning his shirt, he turns around, slowly pushing it down to reveal his scarred back. It looks better than the last time I saw it, but it's still an angry sight, as if someone had taken a knife and viciously ripped into a canvas. I lift my hand, and at his permission, I start tracing the ridges.
"I stopped." He notes. I raise my eyebrows in question. "I stopped hurting myself." I gasp at his words.
"You... you did this to yourself?" He nods, lowering his head in shame. "Why? Why would you do this?" My voice breaks, and I have to blink the tears away.
&
nbsp; "It was my way of atoning for what happened to you. The only way I could feel what you felt." He turns and takes my hands into his own. "Your pain would be imprinted on me, and I'd never forget."
"Marcello..." I have no words. "You need to leave the past behind." I take a deep breath. "We need to leave the past behind."
"But how can you even stand to look at me? Knowing that I..." He swallows his words.
"Because now I know the circumstances. And I know you," I point my finger at his chest, "the man I fell in love with; the man who put his life on the line for me. How can I not?" I bring my hands to his face, cupping his cheeks and making him look me in the eye. "We're here now. Let the rest go."
"But..." I shake my head, cutting him off.
"Even if you could change the past, I wouldn't want you to. How can I ever bring myself to regret anything that happened since it gave me Claudia? We have a beautiful daughter, Marcello." All the suffering and all the scorn I'd put up with had been well worth it. I wouldn't exchange my daughter for anything in the world.
"Lina," He groans, closing his eyes and surrendering himself to my touch. "I promise I'll do my best. You won't regret choosing me."
"I think so too." I add cheekily, moving my finger down his chest suggestively.
"What are you doing?"
"I think you started something earlier." The thought of being almost caught in the act makes me even hotter.
Marcello's eyes darken, the innuendo clear. But there's something more I need to tell him.
"Don't hold back, please. Not anymore." I don't think his guilt let him give himself to me before the secret still between us. Now the slate has been wiped clean.
"Are you sure?" He asks and I nod, my cheek molding to his chest, my mouth on his nipple. "Love me like you've always wanted to." I plead, two months of pent-up desire in my voice.
He tips my chin with his thumb, laying a kiss on my nose before backing me into the study. My back hits the wooden frame, but he doesn't stop. Hands on my butt, he lifts me until I'm sitting on the desk, his torso coming between my open legs.
"I think you're wearing one too many clothes." He notes, his gaze traveling over my body and stopping at my white shirt. I'd been in such a hurry to get to the hospital I hadn't even put a bra on. My nipples are hard and straining against the material, and his eyes seem to eat up the sight.
Morally Blasphemous: A Dark Mafia Romance (Morally Questionable Book 2) Page 35