by Lola Feri
“I got tired of doing things your way, because fuck, do you have to get everything you want? Ryland do this, Ryland, do that. Ryland, get into position. Ryland, do your fucking conditioning exercises.”
“Ryland, take the shot?”
Garrett spoke softly, but there was a tone of realization in his voice. He was watching me as if I was something entirely new, and I wanted to turn away from him, to make him stop fucking looking at me like that.
“Fuck,” I growled, but he took a step closer.
“I was certain, Ryland,” he said, something almost soft in his voice. “I was completely certain. If I wasn't, I never would have given you that order; ever. That's not something that I could stand to have on my conscience, and I sure as hell won't let you have it on yours. Ryland, I was certain.”
“So was I!”
He looked at me with a frown and I nearly grabbed my hair out of frustration. Was there a way he could ever understand?
“I was so certain,” I said, unable to even meet his fucking eyes. I was... in that head space? If you had told me to walk right into the crossfire, I would have believed you. I would have done it. You... you shouldn't have that kind of power over anyone... not over me.”
Understanding dawned on Garrett's face as he moved towards me. His hand on my face was rough and gentle at the same time, and I leaned into it. It was like I couldn't even help myself. After all of this, all I wanted was to be close with him, to have him touch me like this.
“You never trusted someone more than you trusted yourself before,” Garrett murmured. “You never let yourself.”
Christ. I nodded, and then he had his arms around me.
“You can trust me,” he said next to my ear. “I promise you can, all right, Ryland. You can trust me. I love you.”
I looked up at him in shock, and he smiled with one corner of his mouth, half-shrugging.
“I didn't really plan on it, either. Hell of a surprise, and believe me, you're not bound to do anything with that information if you don't want. But I do. And I will protect you. And you can trust me.”
I swallowed hard. It felt as if there was an enormous lump in my throat that made it so I couldn't speak or breathe. The world had narrowed down to the two of us, and all that mattered was that I be with him.
I knew I should say it back. That was what normal people did in this situation. Hell, it wasn't as if I didn't feel it. I could feel the heat of it, how much the words existed in me. How they burned inside for this one man.
“Say it again,” I said at last. I wondered if he would hold out, trade it for my own confession, but instead he did as I said.
“I love you, I do love you, Ryland, and I'll say it as often as you like. It's true.”
It was almost too much. It felt as if I were being flayed. It stripped me right down to the bone, and then it built me up all over again. I buried myself in his arms as he repeated those words to me, and I thought I would burst out of my skin just from hearing it.
“Get this shit off,” I growled, tugging at his shirt. “I want you.”
Garrett made a soft sound of pleasure. It went straight to my dick, and I pushed him towards the bed. Garret looked around a little ruefully.
“At some point, we should do this at home. I'm beginning to wonder if I should feel like a cheap trick with all of this messing around in hotels.”
I had stripped my T-shirt over my head, and that stopped his words. Instead he reached out and ran his hand over the muscles of my torso, circling my hip with his hand.
“God, I want you. I love you...”
He yelped a little when I pushed him back into the bed. He hit the bed hard, looking up at me with an expression that almost hurt to see. I couldn't take it. I came to straddle his hips lightly, covering his eyes with one hand as I kissed his mouth. Underneath me, I could feel his cock against my body, and deliberately I ground down against him.
“You feel so good,” I growled. “So fucking good.”
I yelped as he twisted, sending me tumbling to one side. In a moment, he had me pinned to the bed, looming over as he dragged his thigh between my legs.
“I think I want you like this,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss my ear. “I want you spread in front of me, completely desperate, just riding my leg like it's enough to get you off.”
I groaned because he wasn't wrong. My hips were rocking against his thigh, and I wasn't sure I could stop if I wanted to.
“Man, you sure pick up this queer stuff fast,” I said, and he laughed. It was enough to send a low throb of need through my body, and yeah, I would give this man just about anything if he would only trust me.
“Fast study,” he agreed, “but that means that you need to keep up with teaching me, Ryland. So I want to know all... about... you.”
He punctuated each world with a nibble on my neck. When he grazed the love bite he had left there, I shivered. It already felt as if it had been years since he had left it there. I wanted more, so much more of him.
“You're going to tell me what gets you off and why. I want all of you, beautiful boy, and I want to make you want me just as much.”
I do, I do, I could have said, but somehow I managed to bite down on it. I wasn't going to keep it to myself forever, but I didn't want to give it up just yet.
“You're going to tell me all about you. I want all of it. I always demand the best from my assets, Ryland, and I sure as hell am going to get the best out of you. And maybe that's the secret you've been hiding all this time, isn't it? You perform beautifully when you have something to push against. You need to push and push and push, but you don't even want your own way. You want to get put down.”
He reached between my legs and squeeze, the force just short of brutal. I shouted into his shoulder, but I didn't let go of him. How could he see into my head like this? I trusted him more than I trusted anyone in the world, and somehow, it had opened up some kind of door inside me, one that he could open wherever and whenever he wanted. It would terrify me if it didn't turn me on so much.
“Talk to me, Ryland,” he murmured softly. “Talk to me. Tell me what you want, because I want to give it to you, every bit.”
In the end, I told him. He drew it out of me bit by bit that night, coaxing me with kisses and his hands all over my body, encouraging me with light bites, and forcing me with harder ones. Sometimes I hung on to things because I wanted him to work for it. Sometimes I gave it up fast because I just... wanted him to have it.
God, I loved him, and I had no fucking idea what to do.
***
Morning comes fast in Miami, but the sky was just turning a soft blue around the edge when Garrett's phone rang. Of course he picked it up, answering as if he wasn't completely naked and covered with bite marks.
I wasn't bothering to listen, instead I threw my arm over his chest, pressing close against him and trying to will the world to go away. I didn't want to think about anything right now. I just wanted to float in the pleasant exhaustion of having gotten well, and truly fucked by someone who was surprisingly good at it.
“I understand.”
Something about the way he said it made me sit up. There was a hard edge to his voice that hadn't been there before, and I went into high alert. I didn't know why, and I didn't have to know. While he nodded, I got dressed. Whatever was happening, I was sure as shit not going to face it naked.
When he hung up the phone, he immediately started dressing.
“What is it?” I asked, and he hesitated, looking at me. Whatever decision he came to, he nodded.
“I need to get back to headquarters. Farris is dead. I need to step up in the interim.”
I felt a cold chill run down my spine.
There was no way that should have been able to happen. Farris was the head of the agency in the United States. He was untouchable, the stakes too high, and the heat too hot for our enemies to even bother going after him. Now he was dead
, and it sounded like Garrett was stepping right up to take his place as Head Target.
“You don't have to come back,” he pointed out. “You're still technically on leave.”
I grabbed his shoulder so hard he winced. I might not be able to say it, but I would show him, and I would show him he could trust me just as I trusted him.
“You fucking idiot, I'm not letting you walk back there alone.”
A faint smile crossed his face as he leaned in to kiss me. It was good, it was so good. I could have lived in this kiss forever.
“Good,” he said. “Get dressed. We've got a lot of work ahead of us.”
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