After she had her fill of the flowers, Nieve and I rode back through the gates of the castle, our hair windswept and her cheeks red from the wind.
After dismounting and leaving the horses in the care of the human stable hand, Berwin, we made our way indoors for a much-needed lunch.
As spring was only just beginning the weather was still mild enough that we got chilly sitting outside, especially Nieve. Despite the cold she never complained and loved nothing more than galloping across the open moors between the castle and the forest, her ears becoming so cold and red that I sometimes worried they would fall right off.
We raced through the halls laughing, occasionally having to pause to apologise to the servants whom we sent flying as we passed. As we went, we met mother who gave us a small smile but said nothing. I am quite sure that if we had stumbled across father we would have been in for a lecture about proper behaviour.
My heart pounded in my chest and my cheeks began to ache from smiling, as they so often did whenever I was with Nieve. If I had my own way, I would spend every waking moment with her and forget all about being a princess and lessons.
We swapped our thick heavy cloaks and dresses for lighter dresses, perfect for twirling and dancing, whilst remaining warm enough to keep us cosy inside the castle’s thick stone halls. My dress was a light blue, whereas Nieve’s was a dull shade of brown, which she still managed to look breath-taking in.
I knew it was foolish of me to spend so much time thinking about Nieve’s lack of clothing options, but nevertheless I was always bothered by it. Any previous attempts to change father’s mind had ended disastrously and so I gave up before I had even entered my twelfth year of life.
If I had a horse for every time I had wished that Nieve was a fairy like me, we would need a stable bigger than the castle.
“Come on Freya. I am about to die of hunger,” Nieve complained making me jump in fright, not realising I had become so caught up in my thoughts.
“You scared me!” I accused as I followed her to the door.
She gave me an apologetic smile before leaning in and placing a soft warm kiss on my lips.
Over the last few years we’d begun sharing kisses more and more frequently. Although we never spoke about what there was between us, I knew that we both loved one another.
As children, we loved each other as best friends do, but as we matured so did our love. I often considered asking Nieve about us, but I was afraid to hear her response.
She was the more practical of the two of us, and I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that my father would likely behead us both the moment he found out I had fallen in love with the thing he hated most, a human.
“What were you thinking?” she asked softly.
“It’s stupid,” I mumbled, feeling foolish.
Nieve didn’t waste her time on thoughts as silly mine.
“Nothing you think could ever be stupid,” She insisted her eyes fierce and her grip on my arm reassuring.
I sighed. “I still hate that you can’t wear bright dresses and plait flowers into your hair whenever you want. It’s not fair.”
Nieve gave my hand a squeeze. “It won’t always be like this,” she promised and the determined look on her face made me believe her.
I had to spend most of my afternoons in lessons, learning all I could about the different kingdoms and islands in this land. Father didn’t think it was important that I know about the human kingdoms, but I could never stop myself from asking about them.
Thankfully my teacher Adair cared more about spreading knowledge than belittling humans and so he was always happy to oblige.
Nieve had lessons with me when we were children until a few years ago father decided that she didn’t need to be learning. That was when she had to begin working in the kitchens. I always tried to tell myself that she still learned, but I hated that she wasn’t with me.
I threw a fit when father told me of the changes but that brought me nothing but trouble and so I’d never mentioned it again. Perhaps it makes sense for a human to need less education than a fairy princess, but it still hurt.
A few weeks later, father invited me to lunch which made me nervous. I doubted he had anything good to say if he didn’t want it said in front of mother or Nieve.
Unfortunately, you cannot ignore an invitation to lunch with the King, not even if he is your father. I had to drag myself away from Nieve and the patchwork blanket we had been working on together. Nieve was amused by how miserable the thought of lunch with him made me.
With a kiss for luck she sent me out the door, promising to catch up on her side of the blanket whilst I was away.
Far too soon I arrived at the table, feeling like I hadn’t had nearly enough time to prepare myself for whatever he was planning to announce. It wouldn’t be anything good.
“Take a seat my love,” father said with a smile, gesturing at the seat across from him at the table.
We weren’t eating in the main hall as there were only two of us, so we were much closer than I would have liked. I had nothing to distract me and all I could do was sit and stare at his harsh, lined face and worry about what would come next.
As the years passed, the worry my father caused me grew. Sometimes I wanted to hide from him. Wanted to go back to being a child without responsibilities and expectations to meet.
“Hello father,” I said politely.
“Your teacher tells me that your studies are coming along well,” he looked smug, despite having never taken any time to teach me himself.
“Yes, I am really enjoying it. Also, Nieve and I...”
He raised his hand to cut me off.
“I am glad to see that you are progressing better now that the human isn’t distracting you during lessons.”
“Nieve never distracted me. I’ve always been doing well,” I protested with a frown, my nerves spiking at the mention of Nieve.
He glared at me and started picking at the chicken on his plate.
“You have always been far too distracted by that girl and so I’ve come to a decision,” he paused dramatically, making my stomach twinge with dread.
“Yes, father?” I asked politely, his mental games never failed to infuriate me.
“I think it’s time you prepare for your life as ruler of Culhuinn. That means learning more about ruling over a kingdom and spending less time distracted by humans. You’re not a child anymore.”
“There are humans all over this land, I doubt it would do me any good to avoid them,” I tried to argue, wishing I could flee rather than stay and hear what he had to say.
“You doubt me because you are young and naive. Humans are lesser than us fairies, of course you know that. I think it’s high time your little human friend moved out of your chambers and started staying with the other servants, where she should have been all along.”
My mouth dropped open in dismay and I felt my earlier resolve to never again have a tantrum weakening. How dare he? Nieve meant everything to me and he wanted to discard her like she was nothing.
“I don’t think that is a good idea father,” I protested, frantically trying to search for a good excuse.
“I do not care. I am your father and I am the King, I know what is best for you,” he didn’t even bother to stop eating while he ruined the best part of my life.
“I can do extra lessons without Nieve having to leave,” I insisted, dismayed that I had already sunk to pleading with him.
Father always emphasised the importance of not revealing your weaknesses to the enemy, something I was currently doing a terrible job of. If our situations had been reversed Nieve would know exactly what to say. If our roles were reversed she would save me.
“No,” he said simply. “The human will be moved, along with some essential belongings, down to the servant’s quarters where she will stay. Working like all humans in this castle should.”
“This isn’t fair!” I exclaimed, feeling my eyes prickling with tears of anger.
“Nieve isn’t an it, she is my only friend,” I cried, pushing my plate away and standing up. “I won’t let you do this.”
“It is done, and you better watch your tongue before I get angry,” he looked almost amused.
I threw the chair out from behind me and ran out of the room. I heard father shouting at me to return but I ignored him.
He didn’t care about me at all and, at that moment, I thought that I couldn’t possibly hate him more. I hurried up to my rooms as quickly as I could, having to lift my skirts so I didn’t fall flat on my face.
I must have looked ridiculous running through the halls, unable to stop the angry tears from slipping down my face, but no one made a move to stop me and I didn’t hear father coming after me.
I threw open the door to the chambers Nieve and I shared but she was no longer inside, the blanket left discarded on the table. I rushed to the wardrobes and found that her clothes and shoes were all still inside. The discovery sparked a glimmer of hope, perhaps if her possessions remained then so did she.
I hurried to the door to check and see if Nieve had gone outside. I found the door locked which made me pause. The door was never locked.
I stood for a moment, completely unsure what to do before knocking timidly on the door. Perhaps Nieve was simply playing a trick on me.
There was no reply so I knocked as hard as I could, hurting my knuckles in the process. I was about to start shouting when I heard footsteps behind the door.
“Princess Freya, King Ferchar has ordered that the doors to your chambers remain locked until he sees fit to unlock them. He reminds you that you were warned about your behaviour and that he will see you when you have regained some sense. Meals and lessons will be continuing as normal within your chamber,” said an unknown guard from outside.
“Can you get my mother?” I asked, feeling my lip quivering as I fought the urge to cry.
“The King said no visitors, I apologise Princess,” the voice said before walking away.
I was trapped in my chambers. My only friend, my love, had been taken away from me and I had no one to help me, not even my mother.
With a hopeless sob, I ripped off my shoes and jewellery, throwing them across the room with as much force as I could muster before hiding myself under the bed covers to cry, holding our blanket close.
I hated my father and I vowed to never ever forgive him. Underneath my anger, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of hatred for myself.
This wouldn’t have happened if only I had hidden my feelings and kept my temper in check. If only my mind was quick and sharp like Nieve’s.
M uch to my relief, da explained to the family where Glen and I were planning to go whilst I was asleep. I think my emotional outburst the night before made him feel a little guilty for being firm with me, so he saved me the trouble of having to explain myself again.
Thankfully no one seemed to be angry with us for not being truthful and throughout the day, everyone took the time to approach me discretely and tell me how much they supported what we planned to do.
When I met Glen that afternoon, after another breathless climb up the hills, I had to tell him the bad news. I felt guilty for revealing our secret without asking him, for breaking his trust, but the feeling of relief was stronger. I was glad to no longer be burdened with our secret.
“Maybe I should cry when I tell them so my da doesn’t decide to smack me for lying,” Glen shouted from where he was sitting, perched upon a grassy ledge above me.
“Just bring up my impending death and hopefully they won’t be too angry,” I shouted back.
“I am glad you told the truth Morven. I don’t know what we would have done if your da had stopped you going.”
“Hopefully he would have eventually forgiven me and let me go,” I said, aimlessly ripping up handfuls of grass.
Glen jumped from the ledge and landed on the soft grass beside me. From his bag, he brought out a loaf of bread and a blanket, which we settled down on to eat. I’d spent the morning helping ma and Munro clean up our part of the mess in the castle.
Once we’d finished the bread, and Glen told me more about the fairies we might encounter on our journey, we had to make our way back home. Glen had to go and tell his family about our lies and I had to help ma with dinner.
Glen never did say if his da punished him for lying, but they were still allowing our adventure to go ahead. Over the next few days we collected what food we could for our journey; mainly cheese, bread and dried meat as they would last longer than any vegetables. We were confident that we could forage or hunt small animals whilst we travelled and we planned to buy food whenever we reached towns or villages.
“Eat whenever you have the chance,” had been Malcolm’s main piece of advice for me. “You never know how long you’ll go without food so it’s best to eat often.”
The days went by much quicker than I would have liked. Before I knew it ma, Bonnie and I were once again preparing her stew. We were having dinner with Glen’s family to celebrate our last night in the village.
“It’s alright to feel nervous or even scared,” Bonnie confided in me, “I was terrified about leaving my family and Cladanan to travel all the way up north to Tirwood with Malcolm, but it was the best decision I ever made. You just have to trust yourself and trust in each other.”
As much as I tried to tell others that I wasn’t feeling nervous and scared, I couldn’t convince myself.
I kept imagining all the horrible things that could happen to us out on the road, the awful people we might meet and the wild beasts that could attack us. I tried to remind myself that I wanted to go on this adventure, that I wanted to learn more about the fairies and changelings.
Malcolm told me that he had been nervous before he set off but that once we were on the road, we would be far too busy having fun to bother thinking about everyone back home.
We gathered in Glen’s family’s cottage, which was bigger than ours, so both of our families could be together to have one last feast. Ma had made her stew as per usual and Martha, Glen’s ma, had baked bread and bannocks for us all. Glen had two older brothers Donal and Dougal. Dougal was married, but luckily his wife was visiting her sister in a nearby village so that made the room slightly less crowded.
I had always felt like Glen’s family was my second family. I’d known them my whole life. Da and Glen’s da, Graham, had known each other since they were born and went adventuring together when they were younger. They were both overjoyed to see their children following in their footsteps.
As we ate they told us stories about the mountains in the south, we’d all heard about their encounter with a wulver before but the story never lost its excitement, no matter how many times they told it.
“We’ve been working on a gift for you both,” Martha announced once the food was finished.
A moment later ma skipped through from the next room with two wrapped bundles, one for Glen and one for me.
I felt myself blush as we took our gifts as all eyes in the room were suddenly on us, watching expectantly. Inside the bundle was the most gorgeous dress I had ever seen. The tartan at the bottom was green and brown, the top half brown with long sleeves.
Granny Athol had knitted a thick woollen scarf which was dyed a rich deep brown. The final item was a thick travelling cloak of a darker shade of green. They were the nicest clothes I had ever owned and could tell they must have cost a lot of coin.
“I love them!” I exclaimed jumping up to throw my arms around ma who looked equally as ecstatic.
“Only the best for my wee lass on her first adventure,” da said patting me on the back.
“Aye and only the best for my wee lad,” Graham agreed, Glen had also received new clothes for travelling.
“We should make bets on how long it takes before they fall in some mud and ruin them,” Munro laughed.
“I can’t see them making it out of the village,” Donal said.
“Not even out this cottage,” Dougal added.
That night, after the meal, ma and da let me sleep in their bed with them. I think ma was more upset about me leaving than she was letting show and if I was honest, so was I. Da seemed excited for me but I knew he must have been slightly worried, especially with me being a changeling.
We were just about to get into bed and sleep when wee Morag wandered in, her big round eyes filled with tears as she told ma about her nightmare. As ma left to go fetch Bonnie I snuggled under the piles of blankets.
“I don’t think anything bad will happen to you Morven, you’re a brave girl and together you and Glen make a perfect team,” da paused sighing and running a hand over his face, clearly unhappy about what he was going to say. “If something does happen and either of you die somewhere up in the north, I will find you. I’ll bring Malcolm and Munro and we will come get you. We’ll bring you home. I’ve told Glen this as well. I won’t let a child of mine die and be buried away from the family.”
I pushed my face into the blankets in an attempt to stem the tears now falling. It was comforting to know that they wouldn’t simply leave me, but the thought of never seeing any of them again broke my heart. Da placed a kiss on my head and began rubbing soothing circles on my back, like he did when I was a child. Sometime later I felt ma join us again and she cuddled up beside me.
“Sleep well lass,” I heard her whisper just as I started to calm down and fall asleep.
The next morning was awful. As I got dressed, ate my breakfast and packed my bag, my throat was tight and sore as I tried not to cry. My eyes burned and I had to keep reminding myself that I did actually want to go on this journey. I wanted answers and I wanted to try and save my life. I eventually lost the battle against the crying when it was time to say goodbye.
“You have a good time and look after each other,” ma said in between hitching breaths and sniffles.
The Changeling's Journey Page 3