“He was an asshole. He should know better after everything you went through. After…” He shook his head.
“Dallas, do you think that if by some ungodly chance this were to happen to me again, the rapist is going to stop and say, ‘oh, if this scares you, I can adjust the position’? I have to deal with this and I have to learn to defend myself even if it wrecks me for a few minutes. Better it wrecks me now. I totally froze out there. I don’t want to be the dumb girl who loses it in a real-life situation.”
Dallas held my face between his hands and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “You’re amazing, Macey. Truly. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I’m so brave, I’m in here sobbing into your sweaty chest, after I just made a fool of myself in front of a dozen strangers.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t minimize what you’re doing. I’m humbled by you, honey. Let me be.”
I nodded and settled my cheek back against his chest. “I love you.”
He kissed the crown of my head. “Love you, too.”
I allowed myself a few extra minutes of comfort before insisting we return to the group. As I walked back into the training area, everyone turned and clapped, and I felt even more embarrassed.
Jaxon broke the tension by rushing toward us. “I’m so sorry, Macey.”
“Don’t be,” I said. “You were doing what you were supposed to do.”
“Yeah, but I should have gone easy.”
“No again,” I countered. “Can we try that move again?”
“No,” Dallas said.
“Yes,” I argued.
Dallas frowned. “I’ll work with you on it.”
“It’s fine, honey. You can watch if you’re concerned, but I have to do this. For myself.”
“How about we do it after class,” Jaxon suggested. “That way, if it freaks you out, we can stop and reevaluate.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Jax. That would be great.”
Jaxon smiled and headed back to his group
“I don’t like this,” Dallas said.
“I know you don’t.” I squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to. Now, kiss me and go do your thing.”
He frowned, pausing for a few seconds, before leaning down and kissing me quickly. “You want to stop, we stop.”
“Got it,” I said.
Dallas stepped away, giving Bailey and Payton the opening to descend upon me.
“Are you okay?” Payton asked.
“I’m fine, Pay. Thanks for the water, Bailey.”
“No problem,” she said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I will be.”
Payton gave me a quick hug and I headed back to my group.
I stood back and watched during the rest of the class, making mental notes of the moves I wanted to work on when the room cleared out.
After the class dismissed, Brock, Bailey, and Payton stayed behind, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about their presence. Although I was thankful for their support, I wasn’t thrilled about having an audience.
“Ready, Mace?” Dallas asked.
“Jaxon has to do this, honey,” I argued.
“No.”
I grabbed his arm and dragged him out of earshot of our friends. “I want someone other than you to do this.”
“And I’m not comfortable with that,” he said.
“I don’t want my brain to associate you with being flat on the floor, Dallas.”
A hiss escaped through his teeth. “Damn it,” he whispered, and dragged his hands through his hair.
“Please, baby. Let me do this with Jaxon. I trust him. I really do.”
He stared down at me for a few, very tense seconds, before he slipped his hand to the back of my neck and lowered his forehead to mine. “You’re killing me.”
“I get it. But I love you,” I said.
“I love you too.” Dallas kissed my forehead before releasing me.
The rest of the night went without incident and Dallas seemed a little less like he wanted to kill one of his closest friends. I felt exceedingly more relaxed, especially since I’d managed to defend myself after a few tough starts and stops with Jaxon over me.
In the end, despite Dallas’s efforts to stop everything, I kicked, hit, and twisted my way out of the attack, using my fear as the catalyst to do so. I forced myself to calm my emotions, and my friends hooted and hollered and celebrated the hard-won success with me, forcing Dallas to grudgingly acknowledge that this might have been a good idea.
“My place tonight?” he asked as we headed to his car.
“I have to shower first.”
“You could throw some clothes in a bag and shower at my place.”
I smiled. “Oh, really?”
He gave me a sexy smile. “Alone. I promise I won’t bug you… unless you want me to.”
“Or, I could soak. You do have that great tub.”
“The one you picked out, yes.”
“What do you mean? I think I would have remembered picking out such a cool tub.”
He nodded. “Remember when we went to that salvage place? The one on Hawthorne?”
“Like three or four years ago? You were looking for doorknobs or something like that.”
“Yeah. You kept dragging me back to that damn claw-foot tub like it was the second coming or something.”
I gasped. “That’s what’s in your bathroom? It doesn’t even look the same.”
“I know. Had to have it totally restored.”
We arrived at his car and I faced him. “Are you saying you did that for me? We weren’t even dating.”
“Oh, I’m aware. You were going through your ‘I’ve sworn off men’ phase.’”
I giggled. “Yeah, I’m sure you were really bothered by that, especially banging Bimbo number sixty-three… oh, and sixty-four.”
“A bit of exaggeration, don’t you think?” he countered.
“In my mind, there have been a million.”
“Babe, I’m good, but that’s probably impossible, not to mention, if it was possible, my dick might have fallen off by now.”
“Well, then sixty or so is probably low.”
He ran his knuckles down my cheek. “Bimbos number eighteen and nineteen lasted all of five minutes, Bimbo number nineteen was constantly losing her shit because I kept canceling on her to be at your beck and call.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. And yes, I did it for you, because I knew that one day, I’d have you in that tub. And I do mean have you.” He leaned down and kissed me. “But that part will come later. Tonight, you’re going to soak in that cast-iron monstrosity and I’m going to ply you with wine until you’re drunk enough to let me hold you all night long.”
“As the last few days have proved, you don’t have to get me drunk to do that,” I said. “But I’ll still take the wine.”
“You got it.” He chuckled and kissed me quickly before opening the car door, waiting until I was seated before closing it and jogging to the driver’s side.
* * *
Dallas drove me home, so I could grab some clothes, and then we took off for his house. He lived about twenty minutes from me in a mid-century ranch with a basement in North Portland. He’d essentially gutted the home when he bought it and redid the entire thing. He now had a kick-ass kitchen, living room, plus three bedrooms and two bathrooms on the main floor, along with a media room and bathroom in the basement.
I loved his home. The neutral tones and dark wood gave it a masculine feel, but the frosted glass fixtures and soft throw pillows kept it comfortable. My friends and I had watched many movies sprawled out across the large overstuffed sectional downstairs.
Dallas laid his gun on the table and pointed to it. “Pick it up, Mace.”
I rolled my eyes, but picked it up without argument. We’d gone twice to the gun range the week before and I was less and less leery of guns the more I handled them.
“What are the rules?” he asked.
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“I’m to assume guns are always loaded. I never let the muzzle cover anything I’m not willing to annihilate. I keep my finger off the trigger until my eyes are on the target, and I must always know what my target is and what’s beyond it.”
“Yes.” He stood behind me and repositioned my body. “You know where the safety is, yeah?”
“Right here. And this is how you make it not safe.”
He chuckled. “Good job, honey. That’s perfect. Once you’re used to handling this, I’ll show you how to clean it and put it back together.”
I laid the gun back on the table, pointing away from us. “Do we need to go through all of that?”
“It’s important.”
“But I have you to do it for me,” I said, running a finger down his chest.
“Yes, you do, but you need to learn.”
“Fine.”
He chuckled, leaning down to kiss me quickly. “I’ll go fill the tub.”
“Thank you.”
Dallas re-holstered his gun and took it to the bedroom with him, and I opened a bottle of wine, letting it breathe while I grabbed two glasses. I slid a stack of papers Dallas had dumped on the island to the side to make room, and the one on top caught my interest. I knew it was none of my business, but the letterhead held my building’s dark blue logo, so I snuck a peek. As I stared at the bill for homeowner’s dues, my stomach roiled.
I picked it up and stalked back to the bathroom. He wasn’t there, so I headed to his bedroom. “Dallas?”
“Yeah, babe?”
I stalled at the sight of him shirtless and shoeless standing in the middle of his room.
“Mace? You okay?” he asked, granting me a sexy smile.
I got hold of myself and waved the paper in the air. “What’s this?”
“What’s what?”
I handed it to him.
“Ah, it’s a bill.”
“Yes, for homeowner’s dues in my apartment building, noting my apartment number. What I want to know is why you have it.”
“Ah…” Dallas stared at me, fueling my anger.
I shook my head. “No. You didn’t.”
“Are you going to let me explain?” he asked, and crossed his arms.
“Do you own it? My apartment?”
“Yes.”
I lowered myself onto the edge of the bed. “Ohmigod. I’m going to be sick.”
“Why are you going to be sick?” he challenged.
“Because you’ve been lying to me for two years.”
Dallas slid between my legs and raised my chin. “Really, Mace? Lying? That’s what we’re going with?”
“Well, what would you call it?”
“Oh, I don’t know… taking care of the woman I love. Ensuring sure she’s safe?” He slipped a wayward lock of my hair behind my ear. “Taking the burden of making exorbitant rent payments off her shoulders.”
“How did you afford that place, Dal?”
“Grams left Alec and me a shitload of money in her will.”
“She died, like, ten years ago.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Never mind.” I bit my lip. “It’s none of my business.”
Dallas laughed. “Which has never stopped you before.”
I shoved at his chest. He didn’t even budge. Instead, he covered one of my hands with his and smiled. “When Dad developed that building six years ago, he worked in a deal that a few of the units would be his. Well, ours, if we wanted them. Alec and I both bought apartments, at a steal, if you must know. Dad bought two.”
“But you’re paying a mortgage on this place, too.”
“There is no mortgage on this house, Mace. Grams owned it outright and I used part of the inheritance to buy out my dad. You know I’ve always loved it here.” He stroked my cheek. “Are you really concerned about my finances, Macey? Because if you are, I’ll show you everything. Assets and debt.”
“It’s none of my business.” I blinked back tears. “I’m sorry, Dallas. I have no right to pry or worry. It’s your life.”
“It’ll be yours too, honey.”
I stared at my hands. “Did you buy the apartment because of me?”
“No.” He lifted my chin and frowned. “At least not because of what happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’d hoped we’d live there and if you didn’t like it, I figured I got such a great deal, I’d make a ton when I sold it.”
I couldn’t stop a small smile. “You’d hoped we’d live there?”
Dallas chuckled. “Well, yeah.”
“But what about this place?”
“I want to keep it. Maybe rent it out. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, but once I bought the condo on Naito, I knew it would be better suited for us as a couple.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“I’m a pragmatist.”
I licked my lips. “Romantic and realistic.”
“I’ll take it.” He grinned and kissed me.
“Does Payton know you own it?”
“No. She thinks it’s one of my dad’s properties and he’s giving you guys a really great deal.” He stroked my cheek. “You wouldn’t let me in, babe. I needed a way to make sure you were safe without you knowing it was me. If you’d known, you would have never accepted the help.”
“Why aren’t you mad at me?” I asked.
“I can’t say I’m overly happy with being called a liar, babe, but I also speak ‘Macey,’ so I know that your comments are made out of concern for me and not because… well, because you fall on the dramatic side of life.” He smiled when I rolled my eyes. “I also know that you know me, so you know that I have every bit of information on you. I figure I should at least level the playing field.”
“I really do love the apartment. But what about Payton?”
“We’ll figure it out, honey. She’ll have plenty of notice and she could even rent here if she wanted. I’d give her a deal.” He smiled. “She took care of you for me.”
“Yeah, she did.” I gave him an evil grin. “But if she refuses to leave, I’m not above murder. Just so long as you can hide the body.”
He grinned. “Done.”
“Thanks for talking it through.”
“Always, baby.” He pulled me from the bed. “Bath time.”
I giggled. “Twist my arm.”
Macey
A WEEK LATER, I walked out of the hospital and to my car, finding a note under the wiper blade. I wondered if someone was advertising something, but when I glanced around the crowded parking lot, I saw mine was the only car with anything on it. I grabbed the note and unlocked my door, climbing inside. Before I could read the note or even start the engine, my phone rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, babe. You left work yet?” Dallas asked.
“Sort of.” I shoved the letter in my purse, started the car, and pulled out of the lot. “I’m leaving now.”
“Do you want to go out for dinner or cook?”
“You cooking or me cooking?” I asked.
He chuckled. “If you come straight to my place, I’ll cook.”
“As tempting as that is, I really need to get out of these scrubs.”
“You know, if you kept a few things here, you’d be set.”
I smiled. We’d had this conversation more than once before.
“I’ll run home and grab a shower, then meet you at your place. Sound good?” I asked.
“You could shower here while I cook.”
I bit my lip. “Next time. But I’ll be quick. I promise.”
“Pork chops good?”
“Sounds delicious.”
“Okay, see you soon. Love you.”
I grinned. “Love you, too.”
I hung up and headed home.
After a quick shower, I decided to pack a small bag to leave at Dallas’s place. It was a huge step for me, but it was also nice to think that I’d have an alternative if I ever wanted one. I texted Payton to let her know that I may or may no
t be home later, then texted Dallas to say I was leaving the apartment, before climbing into my car and pulling out of my garage.
The sun was setting when I’d left the hospital, but it was now fully dark, and it brought to light the one thing I didn’t like about Dallas’s home. There was no garage and the only parking was on the street. I started to feel anxious about walking in the dark, but willed myself to calm down. I could always call him, and he’d meet my outside.
As I neared his house, I saw him standing on the sidewalk, but he stepped into the road as I approached. I pulled up alongside him and lowered my passenger window. “Hi.”
He grinned. “Hi. I’m gonna move my truck, so you can park here.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I know,” he said, and grinned. “Back up a bit.”
I nodded, my heart warming at his kindness. I backed my car up and waited for him to pull out before taking his spot. I gathered up my purse and bag, and climbed out of my car, closing and locking the door just as Dallas jogged up to me. He took my bag and leaned down to kiss me quickly. “Hi. This is a little heavy for one night.”
I grinned. “I brought a few things to leave here.”
“Perfect.” He kissed me again. “Come on, chops are almost done.”
I took his hand and followed him up the porch stairs and into the house. I walked into the kitchen and my stomach rumbled. “It smells amazing in here,” I said.
Dallas grinned and opened the oven. “Almost ready.”
“Shall I pour some wine?”
“That would be great. Merlot’s in the rack.”
Dallas prepared the stuffing while I opened and poured wine, and I was struck by how incredibly perfect I felt in the midst of such a domestic scene.
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” he asked.
I sipped my wine and then smiled. “I’m just thinking how I could totally get used to this.”
“You working a long day and coming home to your man cooking for you?”
I chuckled. “Absolutely.”
Dallas wrapped an arm around me and gave me a gentle squeeze. “Anytime, baby. I’ll cook for you every night if it means you come home to me.”
I looped my arms around his neck. “Do you know what I want to do?”
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