Macey sat up. “I can’t.”
“Okay.” I reached for her, but she rose from the bed and wrapped her arms around herself. “Hey. Mace. It’s okay.”
She shook her head.
I rose slowly from the mattress, keeping my distance. “Hey. Mace, seriously, it’s okay. Do you want to talk?”
She shook her head again. “I need a minute.”
I stared at her, my heart twisting at the fear written on her face.
“Alone,” she whispered.
I frowned. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone right now.”
Macey blinked back tears. “Please, Dallas.”
I dragged my hands down my face. “Okay honey. I’ll give you some space.”
I walked out of the room and back to the kitchen where I texted Jaxon to pick up dinner. I wouldn’t always have this option, so I took advantage of it while I could.
I gave Macey fifteen minutes before I couldn’t stand the worry anymore and walked back to the bedroom. I found her curled up in the far corner, her arms around her legs and her head bowed to her knees. “Macey?”
She didn’t answer, so I stepped further into the room. “Babe?”
Still no answer so I hunkered down beside her and touched her arm. She let out a blood curdling scream and kicked out at me, her foot landing in my ribs. I adjusted, despite the pain and moved out of harm’s way. Macey stood, her back to the wall, her eyes unfocused and frantic, as though looking for a way out.
I stayed between her and the door. “Mace?”
I was most concerned about her breathing. It was coming in short bursts and I was afraid she’d hyperventilate.
“Baby, I need you to listen to me.”
Her head followed my voice, but she still didn’t focus on me.
“Macey, honey. Listen to my voice. You’re safe. I’m here.”
She stared at me for several seconds before blinking and bursting into tears. “Dallas?”
I didn’t hesitate to pull her into my arms. “I’m here, baby.”
Macey sobbed into my chest and, despite the pain to my middle as she wrapped her arms around me, I stroked her hair and whispered to her, “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe.”
She squeezed harder and I couldn’t stop my breath from escaping through my teeth.
“You okay?” she asked, frowning up at me.
“Yeah, baby. You just got me in the ribs.”
“Got you?”
I stroked her cheeks, thumbing away the tears. “You kicked me.”
She gasped and stepped away from me. “What? I did? Let me see.” She lifted my shirt and shook her head. “Dallas, I’m so sorry.”
I shifted to look in the mirror and saw the redness of where she’d kicked me. It would more than likely be a healthy bruise by the morning.
Macey pressed gently on my side and grimaced. “Nothing feels broken, but I can bind you if you like. It might help.”
“Nah. It’s all good.”
“I’ll get you some ice.”
“Honey, I’m okay,” I insisted, but she rushed out of the room.
I followed her, a little more carefully, into the kitchen where she was dropping ice into a zippy. “I can’t believe I did that,” she muttered. “I’m so sorry.”
“Babe, it’s okay. You were frightened.” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what triggered it?”
She blinked back tears. “Shadows.”
“Shadows?”
“The way the shadows covered you, it made you look like… him.” She sniffled. “I’m such an idiot.”
I laid a hand over hers as she slammed the bag of ice onto the counter. “Look at me.”
She shook her head.
“Macey. Look at me,” I repeated. When she did, I smiled. “There are going to be triggers and I’m aware that I might be part of the reason you’re dealing with one right now.”
“No, you didn’t do—”
“Babe. I’m not saying I did anything wrong. Obviously, I can only control shadows so much.”
She gave a little smile.
“What I’m saying is that I am the reason your emotions have shifted. You’ve been able to shut yourself off before, but your feelings for me are making you vulnerable, so don’t minimize this, okay? We’ll work through it together, but don’t feel guilty if you lash out.”
She wrinkled her nose. “How do you know what I’m going to say before I say it?”
“Because I know you, Mace.”
She bit her lip and did a faceplant, albeit a gentle one, into my chest. “Sometimes I hate you so much because I love you too much.”
I chuckled and gave her neck a gentle squeeze. “I’m lucky that way.”
She grabbed a towel to wrap the ice in. Lifting my shirt, she gently placed it on the red mark, grimacing up at me when my body locked. “Sorry, honey.”
“This is proof those classes worked. We’ll be noting this incident on the survey.”
She giggled. “You’re ridiculous.”
The doorbell pealed, and Macey jumped a little. I kissed her forehead. “It’s Jax with our pizza.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
“Why don’t you get plates? I’ll grab the door.”
I pressed the ice to my side and made my way to the front door. I pulled out my burner and saw a text from Jaxon indicating he was walking up the driveway. Still, I peeked out a side window before pulling open the door.
“Hey,” I said.
Jaxon gave me a chin lift in greeting handing over the pizza. “Macey okay?”
“She will be.”
Jaxon nodded. “I’m around the corner.”
“Thanks, brother,” I said, and closed and locked the door. I carried the pizza into the kitchen and set it on the counter. Macey gave me a tight little smile and I sighed. “Babe, it’s okay.”
“I can’t believe I hurt you.”
I opened the box and dragged out a slice of combination, setting it on a plate and handing it to her. “I’ll live.”
“You got combination?” she asked.
“Half.”
“I can’t eat half a pizza, Dal.”
I snorted as I grabbed two pieces of pepperoni. “Have you not met you?”
Macey giggled. “Okay, I shouldn’t eat half a pizza.”
“Live a little, baby.”
“You really want a fat girlfriend?”
“Nope,” I said between bites. “But my woman could stand to gain a few pounds.”
“You’re ridiculous.” She shook her head, but I didn’t miss her grin.
“Love you, babe.”
“Love you, too,” she said, and then bit into her pizza.
* * *
I knew Macey’s panic attack had made her a little more skittish than normal, so for the rest of the night, I gave her space to be distant. I noticed that although she wasn’t close enough to touch me, she didn’t seem to want me to leave her side, following me back to the bedroom when I wanted to change into PJs.
She also changed, but she stepped into the bathroom to do it. I didn’t try to stop her, and I didn’t leave the bedroom. Instead, I pretended to look for something in my bag, so she wouldn’t guess I was stalling for her.
Macey walked into the bedroom, her jeans and T-shirt folded in her hands, wearing a pair of Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a pink camisole. I focused on my breathing so I could zip up my bag and keep myself from rushing her. I was already hard, and I didn’t want to freak her out.
“Can we watch a movie?” she asked.
“Of course,” I said. “The Notebook?”
“You don’t know me.”
“Hmm-mm… sure I don’t.” I smiled and set my bag back in the corner. “I’m gonna sleep down the hall tonight.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I smiled. “Love you.”
She licked her lips. “Love you, too.”
“I’ll pop the corn, you grab blankets, okay
?”
Macey nodded and left the room. I followed, finding the box of popcorn we’d purchased in the cupboard.
I was far too focused on Macey to enjoy the movie. Particularly because she sat on the opposite end of the sofa from me and didn’t reach out. It was unlike her. She loved my touch. Liked to be close to me.
As the credits rolled, I took our dishes to the kitchen and then joined her back in the living room. I closed the distance between us. “I’m not gonna kiss you, babe, but know it’s killing me.”
“Thank you.”
I walked her to the master bedroom and smiled. “Don’t lock your door, okay? I’ll leave mine open a bit, so I can hear you if you need me. Remember. You’re safe. I’m armed and Jaxon’s just around the corner.”
She nodded, and I left her, heading to the room next door.
Bunk beds. Great.
I settled myself on the bottom bunk, laying my holstered gun on the nightstand. Dragging my hands down my face, I thought about what I could have done differently so that Macey hadn’t freaked out earlier. Since I didn’t actually know what the trigger was, I supposed it was a futile attempt at understanding.
Grabbing my burner, I did a quick check-in with Jaxon, no issues, which didn’t surprise me. No one but Jaxon, Matt, and Brock knew where we were, and it would stay that way. Staying off radio meant law enforcement, aka Bruce Daniels, also wouldn’t know.
I closed my eyes, knowing that sleep would be virtually impossible, but giving it a try anyway. If I couldn’t relax in a few, I’d grab a beer and watch a game or something until I was tired.
“Dallas?” Macey whispered from the doorway. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah.” I sat up, ducking just in time to miss a collision with the top bunk. “You okay?”
Her body was silhouetted, so I couldn’t see her face. “I can’t sleep.”
“Really? You couldn’t keep your eyes open the last half hour of the movie.” I slid out from under the bunk bed and closed the distance between us.
“I know. But I don’t think I can sleep without you.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Will you sleep with me?”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded.
“I’m at your service, baby.”
Macey chuckled. “Maybe when this is all done, you could buy me one of those pillows with the arm to hold me.”
“I take my job seriously, Macey.” I grinned. “I will not be farming it out to a pillow.”
“I think you deserve a raise.”
“I think you’re right.” I grabbed my gun and cell phone and followed her back to the master. Macey crawled into bed and I switched off the light and joined her.
She surprised me by tugging me onto my back, so she could settle herself over my chest. “That’s better,” she whispered.
I kissed her temple. “Yes, it is.”
“Thank you.”
“Sleep, baby. I’ve got you.”
She did.
Macey
I AWOKE THE next morning to find a note nestled against Dallas’s pillow.
Gone for a run, Jax is here. Love you. D.
I smiled and took some time to stretch. I’d slept soundly. Checking my phone, I saw that it was just after nine, and wondered how long Dallas had been gone. Even on the job, he took time to run. I’d venture a guess that running along Nye Beach was a lot nicer than running the streets of Portland. At the very least, a change of scenery.
I took a quick shower and dressed in sweats and a T-shirt before heading out to the front room. I saw one of the French doors was open, so I peeked my head outside to see if Dallas was back, pulling my hair into a scrunchy as I did.
Jaxon saw me and smiled, standing and making his way to me. “Hey Mace.”
Jaxon Quinn was gorgeous. The classic tall, dark, and handsome, lithe like Dallas, a little taller, but his sex appeal wasn’t just because of his looks and badassness… he was also a gifted musician, which meant he had a different woman every week. He could probably have a different woman every day if he wanted one.
“Hi Jax. How are you?”
He waved his coffee cup toward the sea. “Livin’ the dream.”
“Seriously! It’s stunning,” I said. “How often did you come here as a kid?”
“Couple times a year at least.”
“Lucky.”
“No doubt,” he said. “Are you hungry? I can run and grab you something to eat.”
“How about I cook?”
His face lit up. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” I smiled. “I’m not as good as Bailey, but I do make a mean breakfast burrito.”
“Bring it,” he said, and followed me inside.
I pulled out everything I needed and then poured myself a cup of coffee. I had a moment of nervousness when Jaxon pulled his gun from his holster, but when he stepped out of the kitchen, I watched him holster it again, and then heard Dallas’s voice.
“Just me, Jax.” Dallas walked in and leaned down to kiss me.
“Ew, you’re all sweaty,” I complained.
Dallas chuckled. “You like me sweaty.”
I blushed and shook my head. “Would you like breakfast?”
“I would love breakfast. I’ll just take a quick shower.”
I grinned. “Okay.”
“Did you sleep?” he asked.
I stroked his cheek. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“Let me see your side.” He raised his shirt and I grimaced. A purple bruise was beginning to form where I kicked him. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. It looks bad.”
“It’s fine,” he assured me. “I’ll ice it after my shower.”
I felt around the bruise again. “I think I should bind you.”
“Honey, it’s barely a scratch. I’m fine.” He smiled, kissing me one more time before leaving the kitchen.
Jaxon sat on one of the stools at the peninsula that opened into the dining room. There was a pass-through from the kitchen into the area by the French doors, but nowhere to sit.
“So, did you draw the short straw?” I asked as I put bacon on to fry.
“Nah, I volunteered.”
“Really?”
Jaxon nodded. “I almost never get to come here anymore, and I miss it. I didn’t get to spend last Christmas with the family due to an assignment, so it’s been over a year.”
“I take it we can’t thank your parents for letting us use the place, huh?”
“When all of this is over, you absolutely can.”
I smiled. “When are you going to find yourself a nice girl and settle down?”
Jaxon nearly spit out his coffee. “What?”
“Sorry,” I said, and handed him a paper towel.
“Please don’t turn into Bailey and try to set me up.”
“I would never,” I said, but couldn’t stop a giggle.
“The Quinns’ aren’t the settling down kind. Well, except for Josh. He’s been married for ten years and has three kids.”
“Wow, that’s really cool.”
“Sure. If marriage is for you.”
“It’s not for you?”
He smiled. “Guess I haven’t met the one yet.”
“And you have no plans to stop banging the other ones anytime soon.”
Jaxon chuckled. “You make me sound like a dick, Mace.”
“Pretty sure you do that all on your own.”
Jaxon frowned. “Whoa, what crawled up your ass and died?”
“Oh, Jax, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m gonna go take a walk.”
“Please don’t. I didn’t mean what I said. Honestly.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m just irritable right now.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mace. I’ll be back in a while.” He stood, leaving his coffee mug on the counter.
“What about breakfast?”
“I’ll eat later.”
“Jax.” I reached for his arm. “I’m really sorry.”
He gave me
a chin lift and left me, but I still felt like a royal bitch. By the time Dallas walked back into the kitchen, I’d worked myself into such a state, I was sobbing into the scrambled eggs.
“Mace?” Dallas pulled me away from the stove. “Hey, what’s wrong? Where’s Jaxon?”
“He went for a walk.”
He lifted my face and wiped my tears away. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m the biggest bitch on the planet. I just accused Jaxon of being a man-whore out of nowhere, and now he’s really mad at me. Enough to “go for a walk.” I don’t know who I am anymore, Dallas. I’m not this person. Except that I am.”
“Come here,” he said, and pulled me into his arms. “Jaxon will get over it.”
“But he shouldn’t have to get over it.” I pushed away from Dallas. “Jaxon Quinn is one of the nicest people on the planet and I just called him a dick!” I threw the spatula in the sink. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Shoving away from Dallas, I rushed out of the kitchen.
* * *
Dallas
I turned off the stove and moved the pan to the back burner before pulling out my phone and texting Jaxon. Macey was in full PMS mode and when she was, she was a freight train of emotion. This week was going to be a blast… probably in the form of an AK47 disguised as Macey’s mouth.
I grabbed a pad of paper and a pen the Quinns’ kept by the circa 1980s telephone and wrote down a list. Jaxon returned a few minutes later and I gave him a chin lift. “You good?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you run to the store?”
“For what?” Jaxon asked.
“Twinkies, Cheetos puffs, Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy, there’s a sweet wine that she likes, so get that—”
“Are you shittin’ me right now?” Jaxon asked.
I shook my head. “Funyuns and Hersheys with almonds. Get me three of everything.”
“Three? Why?”
I glanced toward the back of the house, not seeing Macey, but lowering my voice anyway. “Because her PMS is like clockwork, Jax. It’ll last three days, then it’ll be done, and we’ll have Macey back. In the meantime, if she has all of those at her fingertips, she tends to stay a little calmer.”
Jaxon laughed. “You’re whipped, brother.”
“Just get the stuff, Jax. You’ll see. I might be whipped, but I’m also a genius.”
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