by Rebecca Main
“It didn’t look like a chemical reaction,” he grouches.
“It was, all right?” He remains silent for a time before turning his stormy gaze my way. "And the kiss, it didn't mean anything. At least not to me. I never knew Nova felt the way she does about me."
“I don’t want other people touching you. Men or women.” There’s that possessiveness again. In his speech and in his eyes. “We’re the ones who are meant to be together.”
I force myself to steer my gaze to the floor. His words aren’t wholly unappealing. And that might be a problem. For I find the thought of being with someone else wholly unappealing. I glance back to Keenan, finding his stormy regard still aimed my way. It’s nothing like the way Wyatt would have gazed at me in this sort of situation. Wyatt would have looked like a child denied his favorite toy. Keenan looks at me as if he would tear the world apart just to be at my side.
Wyatt…. The thought of him makes me cringe, but I can't help but compare the two. Keenan reacts with a deeper slanting of his mouth.
“I’ll leave you to rest,” he says simply and heads toward the bedroom door. I realize my mistake almost too late.
“Wait!” I cry. “You don’t understand. I was thinking about Wyatt, not you.” Keenan’s scowl deepens, and I find myself cringing at my own words. “That’s not what I meant either. Well, it is, but it isn’t. I was thinking about Wyatt, but nothing particularly nice. That’s why I cringed. Not because I wasn’t thinking about you.” I take a deep breath. “I'm not making any sense, am I?”
Keenan stops, though he still looks put out. He opens his mouth to respond when a few quick raps sound at the door. Without waiting for permission to enter, Irina opens it and steps inside.
“Keenan, Xander needs you.”
Keenan’s mouth trims to a short, firm line, and he gives me a meaningful look.
“You know he doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” she continues dryly, sparing me a glance as she tucks a strand of perfectly straight black hair behind her ear. She was not among the pack sent out to try and fetch Nova and looks disgustingly stunning in simple, everyday clothes. Jeans, a 3/4 length black shirt, with not but a ring to garnish the ensemble. My eye catches the dark impression of a sideways 8 on the inside of her wrist, an infinity symbol. She doesn’t seem like the type to sport tattoos, could it possibly be her soulmark?
She catches my regard and arches a brow haughtily. “Nice ink,” I comment dully, eyes darting between Keenan’s slow movements and Irina’s disposition.
“Humph.”
I roll my eyes at the rather-childlike reaction, but in doing so catch the glint of her ring once more. The deep purple is brought out by the nest of gold that holds it. Irina notices my stare and tilts the ring out of view, her body straightening somewhat defensively. I pass a brief look of confusion to Keenan but note he too is oddly tense. Even through the bond, I feel his sudden spike in fear. Why?
My heart jumps a beat.
“Can I see your ring?” The color falls from Irina’s cheeks.
“I have to be going as well, I'm afraid. It’s not just Keenan that Xander wishes to speak with,” she explains, turning her back on me. I cover the distance between us in a few quick strides and grab hold of her upper arm. “Release me this instant!” she shouts in alarm, trying to shake me from my hold.
“Let me see that ring,” I snarl, yanking her hand out so I can see it. “Oh my God.” I release her as if I’ve been burned, stumbling back a few steps as I stare in horror at the two of them. “You lied to me.”
Keenan takes a wayward step in my direction, eyes wide, full-fledged panic adorning his face. “Calliope—”
“You lied to me!” My breath comes in heavy pants as my own panic sets in. “I trusted you. And JJ….” I bend at the waist, hands on my knees as I try to process the information. “Did you even let him go? Or was that a lie too? He’s still at the witches, isn’t he?”
“No!” he shouts over me. I see his approach and move backward with jerky steps. “No, I swear. He’s gone, but the ring….”
“You lied to me.” Tears flood the side of my face. There is no point in hiding them. My disappointment and sorrow score the bond between us. It aches all the way to my bones. “What the hell is going on?”
“Keenan had nothing to do with it,” Irina tells me. “Xander had very strict orders in place that the man be sent with a false ring. No one was allowed to let on or say anything. Or write anything. There was no way around the order.”
“I trusted you.” I whisper the words more to myself than the others. “I trusted you, and you betrayed me. You manipulated me—”
“No, I swear—”
“Get out!” I scream. The wolves look horrified at my reaction, but they don't fight me. Irina tugs at Keenan’s hand.
“Keenan, let her be. Give her time.” Keenan is reluctant to go but does with lead feet. I want to yell and scream at the door. I want to tear the entire room apart, but my hollowed-out heart leads me to the bed, where I collapse in a fit of tears.
Chapter 17
Walk on the Wild Side
I resume my “fast” almost immediately after Keenan and Irina leave. At least, that’s what I tell the people who try to bring me food later in the day. Not even Zoelle’s gentle chiding from outside the bedroom door can stir me from my spot against the foot of the bed. I pay for that particular insolence later. Her magical medicine wears off more quickly without food in my stomach.
No one pushes the matter. We all know the truth, and that is I’m too sick over the pack’s deception to have any appetite. How could I be such a damn fool? Haven’t I learned anything? It’s like the wendigo fiasco all over again, except this hurt so much more. I have been maneuvered and manipulated effortlessly. I let the soulmark blind me. I let my emotions win.
There would be no going back now. My people would never accept me. Likewise, remaining with the wolves isn’t an option, but can I escape from their clutches? With the witches as their allies, they can easily bind me to this prison. Not to mention the binding effects of the soulmark itself….
A knock sounds on the door.
I shift in my seated position, stifling a groan as my back gives an angry creak in response. I had fallen asleep on the ground, refusing the comfort of the room’s hospitality out of spite.
A knock sounds on the door once more.
“Calliope?” Ah. They sent the alpha. “Let’s take a walk.” The issued order is surprisingly strong and effective. I find myself rising from the ground without a second thought before attempting to slam on the breaks. But my feet continue to take me toward the bedroom door. I let out a growl of frustration. I should never have let Keenan mark me. It linked me to the pack and made me susceptible to the alpha’s commands.
“You’re a dick,” I tell him flatly as I open the door. Xander spares me a small smile.
“Follow me.” The order rolls over me smoothly, and my feet shuffle along accordingly beside him.
Xander takes me to the forest, leading me to a small brook that winds curiously through the trees. It’s peaceful here. The sound of the water rushing past covers the gentle rustle of leaves as a breeze comes along. I would enjoy the scene more if I were alone.
“I wanted to explain to you why I sent your brother away without the ring,” Xander says.
My shoulders rise and fall unenthusiastically. “It doesn’t matter. It was my mistake for trusting any of you to keep your word. Wolves are notorious tricksters. It's in all the legends.”
“You should know Keenan wasn’t informed of the ring swap until early yesterday morning. I don’t believe you managed to catch that part of our conversation,” he continues smoothly. “He wasn’t pleased, but the blame rests on me. I’m responsible for the well-being of this pack, and allowing your brother to leave our territory with it was not an option.”
“The ring—”
“Could not be kept safe with your people. I know your argument well, Calliope. Keenan made i
t on your behalf, but the fact of the matter is we stole it once already. And your people have yet to secure it back from us.”
“They will,” I tell him seriously. “You don’t know them. They won’t stop until they have it. Once they learn that it’s a counterfeit, JJ is the one who will face the repercussions. As will I. You’ve royally fucked things up, you know? You and your pack of wolves."
Xander sighs, the placating expression he wore during his little speech slipping off to a grimace. “I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t our intention to cause harm, none of this was. Since we learned of Vrana’s desire to acquire the ring, the conclusion made by our allies was for the ring to reside within our territory. It really is the safest place for it, Calliope. No supernatural enemy can penetrate our border with the crystal in our possession.”
“The Wardens of Starlight aren’t supernatural,” I remind him, kicking at the soft clods of dirt near my feet. “And please stop calling me Calliope. You sound like my father.” And Wyatt.
Xander shoots me a side-glance, a smirk treading on his lips. “Callie then,” he remarks. “Be that as it may, we're still well equipped to handle your people.”
“They train us like mercenaries, you know. From a young age, they teach us how to fight and defeat supernatural creatures. Dying in the name of the Wardens is an honor, so don’t think for a second they won’t risk it all trying to defeat you.”
A long pause follows my statement before Xander continues thoughtfully. “The Wardens are human. My wolves don’t harm humans and are under the strictest order not to. When the time comes—if the time comes—the Wardens will be subdued rather than eliminated. We’ll use tranquilizer darts, standstill bullets crafted by the witches, and the witches themselves to hold them at bay.”
The words are not what I expect and bring about a slew of confusion to my already fraught emotions. No doubt he’s trying to make up for his act of betrayal and placate me with another lie. And for what? So I’ll go running back into Keenan’s arms? Become another pawn in someone else's game.
“You don’t believe me?” His voice is filled with wry amusement. It captures my attention unexpectedly, for his smirk softens. “I don’t blame you. Not after what happened with the ring, but that’s okay. You can be mad and rage at me all you want, Callie. But no one else in this pack deserves your ire.” I spare him a pointed glare, one that he returns. The alpha’s mild disappointment quivers through the pack bonds and is aimed my way. I scoff to cover the feeling of remorse I feel as a result.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try and dictate my feelings,” I tell him stiffly. The pressure of his disappointment evaporates.
“You’re right,” he murmurs. “I apologize. Again. But, Callie, what I said is true. I’m the only one who deserves your anger, and, well, maybe the Elder Triad from the Trinity Coven by that estimation. Not Keenan though. We made the decision and are the ones who implemented it.”
A wind rustles a few leaves from their branches and into the brook. I shiver at the gentle chill in the sweeping air and wish longingly for something warmer than my thin cotton shirt. Xander rests his hand on my shoulder. I look to him in surprise as the action brings an almost immediate sense of comfort.
“You said there would be repercussions for yourself and your brother?” I nod my head along dumbly. “Would it help if you could call home?”
I stare at him flabbergasted, words caught in my throat. “What? Why? Why would you offer me that?”
“You’re part of this pack, Callie, whether you like it or not, and your happiness and well-being are important to me. It’s my responsibility to see that you're taken care of and safe. That extends to those that you love. If calling one of your people will help circumvent trouble your brother might encounter, then you should call home. Besides, the circumstances that brought you into my pack are largely the result of my decisions. I want to do what I can to help make your full transition into the pack be as easy and seamless as possible.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I tell him honestly, staring at him in confusion and leaning out of his touch. The comfort it brought departs with the motion, but it has already done what it’s meant to do: calm me. Soothe my irate nerves.
“Listen, Callie, I wish you and Keenan could have met under different circumstances. I wish the pack wasn't at war, because if it wasn’t, and if you and Keenan did meet under different circumstance, the pack would be celebrating. Our pack is blessed with an unusual amount of wolves finding their soulmarks, and every mark found is cause for celebration. I wish we could give you two more. It’s what you deserve.”
“Well,” I say, once I can drag the words up my throat, “we can’t always get what we want. Besides, it wouldn’t matter in what circumstances I met Keenan. I’m still a Warden. He’s still a lycan. My family and my people will never allow it.”
Xander frowns at my words. “Do they know about the soulmark?”
I let out a rough bark of laughter, shaking my head and shifting my weight as another cool breeze comes rushing through the summer day. “No. Though it might have been simpler if they did. I would have been exiled or killed sooner. Probably the latter.” I chance a glance at the alpha and find his face filled with a mixture of anger and remorse. I give him a lame one-shoulder shrug as part of my reply. “It’s just the way things are. Any mark of the supernatural variety upon a Warden is forbidden. It’s heresy. They would never understand. They would never accept this.”
Xander sighs, peering out into the forest pensively. “I suppose I’m not completely surprised by the information, though it does make me feel sick to my stomach.”
“You’re telling me,” I retort with a scoff. We share a look, matching grim grins splitting our faces.
“When I discovered Zoelle was my soulmark, and granddaughter to one of the most formidable witches I’d yet to encounter, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing for us. Though, I doubt that would surprise anyone. It’s fairly common for the supernatural to stay amongst their kind, but aligning with the witches has been the best thing that’s happened to my pack. It felt forced at first, but over the months, the alliance has turned into something more. A true friendship has formed between my pack and the Trinity Coven.
“I don’t know why we were all so adverse to each other in the first place. It seems ridiculous looking back on it, but that’s the price we paid for listening to stories passed on from our ancestors. To holding onto old prejudices and not bothering ourselves to forge new friendships. Our alliance and friendship frighten the supernatural community because it's an oddity. But it also frightens them because it signals a change. A possibility of a different future for our kind, without the hierarchy that’s in place now. Change is hard, but especially more so for those who live their lives in black and white when it’s meant to be in full color.”
I let out a breathy laugh, giving Xander a once-over. His hands are stuffed in his jean pockets, and the pensive look remains on his face as he stares out into the distance. “Damn,” I say, “that was… mildly impressive.”
Xander grants me a smile that changes his entire demeanor. He seems lighter and happier. Strong and capable. And I realize as the undertone of his gratitude reaches me through the pack bonds that he means every word he’s said, that he does care for my well-being and that of all his wolves, that he won’t let harm fall to the Wardens.
I offer him a sad smile. “The Wardens aren’t big fans of change. Unless they pass a very rigorous inspection and is agreed upon by all sitting Council members. In every region. Anyway,” I continue with a sigh, “the soulmark and this whole mess are really just the cherries on top of my already perilous standing with the Wardens.”
“What do you mean?”
“I wasn’t lying when I said they train us like mercenaries from when we are young. We’re taught that eliminating the threat of supernaturals is paramount to the survival of the human race, and it’s our divine purpose to do so. Not everyone wants to kill though, not everyone
is cut out for it, but I was. I understood and believed in the purpose. I was good at it—I am good at it. But somewhere along the way, once I became a Stellar Warrior, I wavered. I made a huge mistake.”