“Shit,” he said sitting up, “Fuck!” Sawyer slammed his hand against the arm of the couch in frustration.
She looked at him confused. Her body had turned off just like that as if there was a switch somewhere inside her that had flipped.
“I want nothing more than to do this and more with you, but I just don’t work that way. Shit, Traci. I’m good at screwing things up aren’t I?”
She shook her head. He wasn’t screwing things up. Traci felt as though it was her making things go too fast for him. She just wasn’t used to anything being slow, she’d never really even dated anyone before, and this was a whole new world to her. Her life before Sawyer and before Cash had just been making out and dry fucking guys for fun. Nothing ever lasted and nothing was important to her. She worried she was going to mess it up before it even had a chance to be anything.
“Truth is I have to get up early. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’d let you stay, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself again. I hope you understand,” he said looking defeated.
“OK, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“—You did nothing Traci. I’m the one that’s sorry. I really do have to get up early, heck, I should have been to bed hours ago.”
“I should have picked a shorter movie.”
Sawyer laughed, “Yeah maybe, but its fine, I had a good time. Far better than tomorrow will go.”
“What’s happening tomorrow?”
“Shit. I have to help my brother. We don’t work well together but he asked for some help, and I have trouble saying no, even to him.”
“Your brother?” she asked her heart beating so hard she was afraid Sawyer could see it.
“Yeah, I have a brother. You have any brothers or sisters?” he asked seemingly trying to change the subject. He wasn’t going to talk about Cash or the fact that Cash from the bar was his brother. It was bettered that way Traci decided, and she definitely wasn’t going to press it.
“No, it’s just me,” Traci said and rearranged her clothes. She grabbed her purse, “Well I’ll get going then so you can get some rest. If I would have known, I wouldn’t have stayed so long.”
“That’s right, you didn’t know. No worries. I’ll walk you out,” he said and reached out for her hand. Traci happily took it and he led her outside to her car where he opened the door for her.
“Well good night,” she said turning to him.
“When can I see you again?”
“Call me, I’m almost always free.”
“Good night Traci,” he said still practicing her name. He leaned down and kissed her. It was quite possibly the sweetest kiss she’d ever received. He continued to hold her hand until she was sitting in her car when he reluctantly let go of her finger by finger. He smiled and waved as she started the car, looped around and drove away.
She glanced back in her rear view and thought she saw someone walking towards him. Cash. Was it him? Had he recognized her car? Or maybe she just imagined it.
* * *
Traci felt like she could puke as she drove down the bumpy road away from Sawyer’s house. She didn’t know how she felt about Cash being back. And on top of it she had all these feelings she didn’t recognize towards Sawyer but deep inside she craved more Cash. She couldn’t deny it.
She was also pissed off at Cash. Of course she shouldn’t be because she knew what it was all about when she walked into that trailer with him. Secretly she had hoped she’d be the one he’d want to see again. She’d be different from all the others. If they had exchanged numbers, he could have called her to tell her when he’d be in town again but they hadn’t. He never wanted more than that night.
If she could just see him one more time, she could more easily accept and process the situation, she’d get over it and everything would be fine. But how could she see him? She had no way to contact him and she wasn’t about to just drive up to the trailer, Sawyer would recognize her car. Pissing off Sawyer was the last thing she wanted to do.
Maybe she’d just have to forget about it. Forget Cash even existed. Give this thing with Sawyer a real go, but really it had only been two dates that barely counted as dates.. There hadn’t been any real commitment other than to see where things went. Traci made no promises to be exclusive. Deep down she knew that didn’t include fucking his brother, but she had no plans to be with Cash again. She only wanted to see him, to talk to him, that’s all she needed to fully accept the situation for what it was. After all she already mostly accepted it, there was just a tiny bit of hope and mounds and mounds of unrelenting carnal lust.
* * *
Traci’s mom had asked her to go to the grocery store to pick up a few items she needed for dinner and she had nothing better to do so she accepted. After all, it was the least she could do since they were putting a roof over her head while she was between jobs. She pushed the rattling cart through the store, wondering how it was she always got the noisiest cart. Everyone glanced at her as she passed.
She turned down the baking isle to look for the flour. As she reached down to pick up one of the largest bags, she felt someone press something into her ass. She jumped and spun around almost knocking a bag of sugar off of the shelf.
Her heart skipped three beats as Cash reached out his arm and held the bag of sugar in place pinning her between his arm and her shopping cart. “Hey there sweetheart,” he said peeking at her from under his cowboy hat.
“Hi,” she squeaked out one she started breathing again.
“Boy, I sure was hoping I’d run into you again. In town for a few days,” he said as he looked up and down the aisle to make sure they were alone. Cash leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, but he didn’t pull away, instead he made a trail down her neck, “Please tell me you’re free.”
Someone coughed and Cash lingered for a second but pulled back flashing Traci his most sexy grin. An elderly woman rolled her cart by them winking at Traci as if telling her she’d done a good job snagging the cowboy. If only the woman knew how temporary Cash was.
“Busy,” she lied, but she wasn’t exactly sure why.
“I didn’t even say when.” He frowned, “I’ll take you out, I’ll make you dinner, a long walk on the beach, whatever you want sweetheart.”
“I—”
“—Don’t make me get down on my knees and beg you.” There was that sexy grin again, and there was no way she could resist it.
“When?” Traci said wanting to slap herself. I shouldn’t be doing this. What am I doing? she thought while the butterflies in her stomach turned into angry woodpeckers. She’d wanted to see Cash again to get over him, not to make a date with him. She made a note to grab some antacids before she left the store.
“Are you free tonight? Got a thing tomorrow,” Cash said not mentioning what the thing was.
“What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at 7?”
“Can we meet somewhere instead?” she asked not wanting him to know where she lived. He might be clever enough to pick up on the fact that she lived at home. Especially if her mom was outside gardening or something.
“Sure, have something in mind sweetheart?”
“The beach?”
“I’ll be there,” he said and kissed her hand. He walked away, his boots clicking against the tile floor. She watched him walk away unable to stop herself from remembering what his body looked like naked.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The beach wasn’t far from her house so she decided to walk there instead of driving. It would give her some time to think. Normally she’d really have dressed up for a date but she wasn’t calling this a date. She was going to meet him at the beach and tell him about her and Sawyer. Traci had put on a black t-shirt, her favorite pair of jeans and a matching jean jacket. The air was crisp and cool this time of night. The beautiful lake water sparkled and there wasn’t another soul to be seen, which she decided was a good thing. She didn’t know how he’d react when she’d tell him about Sawyer. He’d probably be a
loof and just move on to the next and maybe be pissed at her for wasting his time when he could have been off hooking up with someone else tonight.
She arrived a bit ahead of schedule and sat down on a bench. She kicked off her flip-flops and dug her toes into the cold sand. The waves gently rolled over the rocks and sand making a relaxing swishing noise. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the light breeze from the lake.
Everything was peaceful until she heard his boots clacking against the boardwalk. She didn’t look up and instead listened to his footsteps get louder as he drew nearer. The footsteps stopped and a single red rose popped up in front of her face.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said.
“Hi Cash.” She took the rose pressing its soft petals against her nose enjoying the silky feel as well as the sweet aroma. “Thank you.”
“It’s beautiful just like you,” he said looking out towards the water as Traci blushed at his words. She tried to think if that was the first time he’d told her she was beautiful with her clothes on. He sat down next to her and reached his arm up on the bench behind her without any hesitation. “The beach huh? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a beach gal.”
“What would you have pegged me as?”
“I guess I haven’t really pegged you as anything yet, just what you’re not.”
“Yeah, I’m not. But I do like the cool air, it’s refreshing,” she said closing her eyes and tuning in to the slight breeze glazing her cheeks. He put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her against his side. Cash sat on the bench with his legs spread distractingly wide and his other hand resting on his knee. He looked a little out of place. It was clear he wasn’t really the beach type, yet he was here, because this is where Traci said she would be. She smiled to herself.
“What you got going on tomorrow night?” Cash asked tilting his head so he could see her face.
“Not sure… why?”
“Got a horse thing going on. Maybe you could stop by,” he looked away it looked as though he was afraid to hear her answer.
“Oh, I’m not sure, maybe.” That seemed to satisfy him. She worried Sawyer would be there too since he had said he’d have to help his brother with something. She wasn’t prepared to be in the same place as both of them. That would end in a disaster.
He told her where it was and some brief directions in case she was able to go. Traci nodded not paying enough attention but if she wanted to go, she figured she could just look it up online but she knew it wasn’t even an option.
She closed her eyes again, “Doesn’t it feel wonderful?” she asked, but he didn’t answer. His lips were too busy making their way to her neck. Her mind went blank, she knew there was something she wanted to talk to Cash about, but she couldn’t remember what it was. His lips were magical, like they had casted some sort of spell on her that caused her brain to short circuit.
“I don’t know what it is about you,” Cash said in a smooth, deep voice she barely recognized. He put his hand in her hair and turned her head towards him. He kissed her lips hungrily, he seemed as though he was starving and the only thing that would satisfy him was Traci.
She leaped up onto his lap. Neither of them was able to deny the attraction for another second. Traci felt dazed. For some reason everything they were doing felt wrong, sinful, and it added a strange intoxicating intensity she’d never felt before. It made her pussy burn for Cash even more than it already did. Only he would be able to extinguish the fire that was raging within her. Their hands were everywhere. Time seemed to both go too fast and too slow all at the same time. It was an animalistic need neither of them understood and neither could control, nor did they want to.
“Stand up,” Cash ordered her in that same way he had the first time and Traci had obeyed him the same as she had. It was only Cash who could tell her what to do in this way, anyone else and she’d probably have just laughed at them. He stood up next to her, their bodies melted into one another.
“I don’t know why the fuck,” he spun her around, wrapped his arm around her and pulled her ass into his already hard cock, “you wore jeans.” He twisted his hand into her hair and bent her forward over the bench.
He reached around her and expertly undid her pants. Cash pulled them down keeping as much of her covered as possible while leaving himself enough room to enter her. She heard the zipper of his jeans and then felt his cock teasing her slit. He slipped two fingers down to her drenched pussy and dipped them inside, “Soooo wet for me,” he said and tugged her hair. Traci could picture the grin on his face based on his tone and it made her strangely pleased.
He drove his cock into her and she let out a stifled cry. He pumped into her slowly enjoying each thrust fully. Traci clenched and jerked forward each time she was filled. Something clicked in her brain, “Cash?”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“What if someone sees us?”
“What if?”
“They’ll see…,” she said as if that made perfect sense.
“I don’t care who sees me fucking you.” Traci bit back a moan. His words only made her feel like she needed him more.
She felt his hand on her ass as his pumping increased. The next thing she felt was the sting from his hand making sharp contact. And then again. She cried out. Then again, but this time after, he slid his hand forward finding her clit she rocked back against him and the earth stopped. She tensed up and cried out as she came. Cash had perfectly put out the fire.
He pressed into her and erupted, moaning as he lightly jerked his body riding out the rest of his orgasm. “Fuck Jane. What are you doing to me?” He tucked his cock back into his pants and helped her steady herself while she did up her jeans. Traci straightened her clothes and noticed her rose that she had placed on the bench had lost a few petals.
“Shit!” she said punching at an invisible wall and turned away from him.
He looked at her sideways, “Well that’s not the typical reaction I get.”
“Naw, I fucked up is all,” she said remembering about Sawyer.
“I’m not sure what you mean sweetheart. Did I do something wrong?”
“No you were great. That’s the problem. Ugh, never mind.”
“I don’t understand. I apologize if I—”
“—Seriously, no, just forget about it. It’s not you. It’s stupid stupid stupid me.” She grabbed her purse and what remained of her rose, “I’m sorry Cash, I have to go.”
Traci ran off down the boardwalk leaving her flip-flops behind. Cash was yelling at her to wait, but she didn’t hear him over the waves and the pounding of her feet hitting the boards. Or maybe she had heard him, a little, but it was easier to keep going.
* * *
The buzz of her computer filled the room. She wasn’t planning on going but she wanted to find out more about the ‘horse thing’ Cash had to do. She’d discovered it was some kind of horse fair, a big event but she had no idea what he actually did there. Traci was fairly certain whatever it was, involved his horses. She clicked around on the website trying to see if she could figure out what it was he did there, until she saw a random picture of Cash and Sawyer together. It was just some promotional picture to show the horses but all Traci saw were the two men.
They stood together both smiling but neither of their smiles looked like what she’d seen from them. These smiles looked forced. It was awkward, for her to see them both together, in fact it made her stomach turn. She closed the website and flopped down on her bed.
She wanted to see Cash. Traci wanted to see Sawyer and there was time for her to go, but that obviously wasn’t really a possibility. She wanted to explain things to Cash, apologize for running off but there was no way she could go with both of them there. It would be an absolute disaster. Cash and Sawyer already disliked each other for whatever reason, she didn’t want to make it worse for them, and of course they’d both end up hating her.
Nothing good would come out of her going. She’d have to just try to explain later. He was a man… he cou
ld take it. Cash would have a new woman on his arm before he was even out of her sight. Heck, he probably had one or would have one tonight.
She’d find him tomorrow to tell him they couldn’t be together like that again, not that he’d care.
CHAPTER NINE
Traci drove out past the big farmhouse in the country. She prayed Sawyer wouldn’t be able to see her car from the house and that she’d be able to get a glimpse at the trailer out back that Cash used when he was in town. If his truck was there, she’d have to figure out a way to get there without Sawyer seeing her.
She turned her car around to see if she could get a better view, and sure enough she was able to see the trailer, but Cash’s truck wasn’t there and the horse trailer was gone. She wondered if he had left again and without saying good bye. What was wrong with him that he couldn’t tell her when he was leaving? Of course, most of that was her fault for never giving him her phone number or an address. It bothered her that he would just disappear, that it was so easy for him to just pick up and go back to whatever life he lived out there. And the only time she’d cross his mind was when he was here and wanted a fuck.
Her phone started ringing and she jumped. Maybe Cash had found a way to get my number, she thought irrationally. She grabbed it quickly, “Hello?” she asked wishing she would have just looked at the caller ID.
“Hey Traci,” Sawyer said sounding excited.
“Hi,” she said making sure to keep any disappointment out of her voice, because she wasn’t disappointed it was Sawyer, she was disappointed it wasn’t Cash.
“You busy tonight?”
“No… not really.” Other than moping about, which really was a waste of time considering she knew what things were going to be like with Cash from the beginning. Even before the beginning. It still bothered her no matter how much she reminded herself.
The Choice - A Small Town Love Triangle Page 5