Damaged Alpha

by Samantha Leal

  When she got out of the shower she picked her outfit from the closet which consisted or some light, frayed cut off shorts and a tiny pink t-shirt that she could slip on over her bikini. She rough dried her hair and left it a little scrunched and more natural looking rather than overly sleeked, and then she put on some sunscreen and packed herself a beach bag. She knew she wouldn’t need much, but she wanted to take some towels, a couple of books and her phone with her, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t forget anything.

  Cleo was meowing at the door to the kitchen when she went down, and she bent toward her and stroked her little head.

  “I’m sorry,” Melissa said genuinely. “Did I close you in here by accident?”

  Cleo weaved herself in and out of Melissa’s legs and bumped into her with adoration and Melissa couldn’t help but feel an intense pang of guilt. She had been so caught up in the events of the previous evening that she realized she hadn’t even feed Cleo her customary wet food last night. She silently admonished herself as the worst cat-mom ever.

  I’ll make it up to you,” she said. “I promise.”

  Cleo meowed and nudged her once more, and then Melissa dutifully fetched a can of her favorite “Fussie Cat” Prawns with Salmon formula. Cleo happily dug in, all sins quickly forgiven.

  When she looked at the clock, it was much later than she had realized, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. If she had gone down to the beach too early, then it wouldn’t be as warm, and she had her heart set on doing some sunbathing. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water and drank from it thirstily before she slipped it into her beach bag and gave Cleo another apology cuddle.

  “I’ll even bring you some fresh tuna home for dinner,” she said as she kissed the top of her head. “I promise.”

  When she set the cat back down, she grabbed her house keys and headed for the door. She had a spring in her step and her mind was whirring with things she wanted to do.

  And the first thing on her agenda was to stop by the bookstore and get a big, mean coffee to take away.

  “It’s weird not walking in to you sitting at the desk on a Saturday,” Rachel said as she grabbed hold of a take out cup and put it next to the coffee machine.

  “And it’s weird not being in here for work,” Melissa smiled. “In fact, look at me, I’m so lost without this place I still have to come in.”

  Rachel laughed and shook her head.

  “Did you go out last night then?” she asked, and Melissa nodded her head in reply.

  “Yes with my friend Carly,” she said. “We just went down to The Boathouse.”

  “Was there a band on?” Rachel looked interested.

  “There was,” Melissa nodded. “Although, I didn’t really see much of them, we sat outside for the view and less noise. You know how it is.”

  “It is a good view,” Rachel agreed.

  The machine whirred and stopped, and Rachel began to fill up her cup and then she pressed on the lid and passed it to Melissa.

  “What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

  “Well,” Melissa said with a sigh. “I thought I’d run a few errands and then head down to the beach. With the weather suddenly heating up, it seems criminal not to take advantage of it. “

  “Amen,” Rachel said as she raised her hand to give her a high five.

  Melissa laughed and reciprocated, and the girls slapped palms.

  “But for the record, I am very jealous,” Rachel said. “Don’t be looking too tanned and gorgeous, what with the new hair and all, you’ll be breaking hearts all over town.”

  Melissa shook her head and laughed and then she blew her a kiss.

  “Thanks for the coffee,” she grinned. “I’ll see you Monday.”

  “See you Monday,” Rachel called after her as Melissa made her way back to the door and disappeared out into the sun.

  As she walked along Main Street and dipped into various stores, she sipped her coffee and daydreamed about Nate. There was a part of her that was hoping to run into him out there, but she also felt a little foolish for wanting it so badly.

  She remembered the way his eyes had caught hers and how he had looked at her. The way he made her spine tingle and how hungry and completely in control he had been.

  He was the kind of man who could rule the world, she could tell.

  Her heart pounded a little harder.

  She continued her walk down Main Street and then she cut across toward the road that ran adjacent to the ocean. When she smelled the sea air and heard the crashing of waves against the shore she was instantly taken back to the night before and the floods of memory threatened to set her off into a daydream again, but this time, she shook herself out of it.

  The closer she got to the beach, the more she couldn’t wait to get down onto the sand. The sun was high in the sky and it was hot and perfect, but the breeze from the ocean made it all the more bearable, and when she started to climb over the dunes and head down onto the white, soft sand, she scanned her eyes up and down for what looked like the best place to stop and set herself up.

  The beach was busy, but it wasn’t packed. And there was plenty of space for her to find somewhere to sit and relax. Further down toward The Boathouse, some kids were flying kites and dogs were barking excitedly and weaving in and out of them, dashing into the water and splashing around in the waves, before tearing back out and down the beach yapping and playing with each other.

  Melissa found a relatively quiet spot and let her bag fall to the sand and she kneeled next to it and pulled out her beach towel. She managed to get it laid flat before a gust of wind started to lift it up, and she sat on it hurriedly to keep it pinned down.

  She pulled her t-shirt off over her head and put on her sunglasses and then she let her head fall back so she was basking in the hot midday sun and relishing every moment. As she lay there and listened to the calming sounds of the ocean, all she could think about was Nate, and she kept replaying in her mind how hot he had looked when he had come into the bookstore on that first day she had noticed him.

  Hotter than hell.

  Roz had said it, but Melissa could only agree with that assessment.

  He was hotter than hell. And the sun above her. He was hotter than them both put together. And now, she felt as if she were doomed for all time to lust after him, when she didn’t even know if she would ever see him again.

  I’ll find you…

  His words echoed around her mind and she felt herself sink a little deeper into the sand.

  What she wouldn’t give to have him there with her in that moment. For him to be pushing her down into the sand. To be kissing her neck and holding onto her legs to wrap them around his waist. She imagined the hot, strong, poke of his erection next to her pussy, and how she would moan and gasp and beg him for it, knowing that he was going to give it to her, but also make her wait.

  He was naughty.

  But he was also holding something back, and she didn’t know what.

  She breathed out and tried to calm herself down. The last thing she should be doing while she was lying on a public beach amongst families, was thinking dirty thoughts like that. Even if it was practically impossible not to have them.

  She rolled onto her stomach and reached into her beach bag, digging around until she found her book and pulled it out. With her working in a bookstore, she made a promise to herself to read one book every week, but since everything with Dylan, she had found herself slipping and finding it hard to keep her mind focused.

  Now she had banished Dylan and all the negativity, but she had a brand new distraction thrown into the mix.

  She opened up to her saved place and read the first line. And then she read the second. Then she went back to the first and read them both over again. The words were forming on the page in front of her, and she was reading them, but she wasn’t taking them in. She was even registering them in her mind, but they just weren’t sinking in.

  “For God’s sa
ke, Melissa,” she moaned as she slammed the book shut and flopped down onto the beach towel. “You’re a total lunatic.”

  And then she closed her eyes and tried to allow herself to relax and unwind, without a thought of anyone but herself, of the moment she was experiencing, and the journey she had lying ahead.

  This was her time, not anyone else’s.

  And if a hot guy wandered into it, then she would have to see if she had the time for him, not the other way around.

  She felt the heat of the sun soaking through her skin and warming her deep inside. It really was the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and she knew then that her life was pretty complete as it was, without any extras needed.

  She was wise, in control, and completely settled.

  Maybe her and Nate weren’t so different… Because she had the distinct feeling he was that kind of person too.

  5.

  Roz was away for the week, spending her time worshipping the sun somewhere in the middle of the desert and getting more in tune with her spiritual side. For Melissa, this meant that her hours were longer, but the overtime was going to be worth it, and she didn’t mind getting up a little bit earlier and staying back until it was time for the late shifters to come in.

  She sat up at the desk and was flicking through a new book that had just been released. It was a big, thick hardback, a sign that the publisher anticipated it to be a best seller, and she turned the pages and wondered what it must take to have the discipline to sit down and create a world from nothing.

  Rachel was working in the adjoining part of the store on the counter in the coffee house, and she was on alert to bring through a coffee for Melissa every two hours. It was just enough to keep her going, and buzzy enough to get through all of the tasks that she had on her ample To Do list.

  When it was approaching 4pm, Melissa was wandering around some of the shelves with her duster, making sure that nothing was starting to look too settled or comfortable. The idea of a dusty library was romantic, but a dusty bookstore was something completely different. They wanted the stock to be constantly changing, not sitting stagnant on the shelves for months. So every once in a while, if Melissa noticed that one section was looking a little unloved, she would mix it up and create a display with those titles at the front by the main door to help move them on.

  She was on her hands and knees, stacking up a collection of a once popular romance series and was making a new display, when suddenly she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle.

  Her heart thundered in her chest and she dropped the small collection of books she was holding, before she brushed her hair behind her ears and peered around the corner of the main door in semi-clandestine fashion. She didn’t want to be too obvious.

  She smiled when she saw that it was him.

  She had done nothing but think about him since the night up at The Boathouse, and now, true to his word, he had come to find her…

  Or so she hoped anyway.

  She rose to her feet and felt her hands shake a little with nerves, but she wrung them together and tucked them into the back pockets of her jeans as she stood waiting for him by the counter, smiling and wondering how she could play it cool when she felt anything but.

  When she heard his heavy boots coming closer to the door, she quickly turned around so that she wasn’t facing him.

  “Act surprised,” she whispered to herself as she leaned over and pretended to be writing something in her diary.

  The bell on the top of the door tinged as he pushed it open further and stepped inside. Her heart was pounding so hard, and she felt hot underneath her skin. She knew he was just there watching her, waiting for her to turn around, but she didn’t have the nerve to actually do it.

  What if she did and it wasn’t him?

  Or worse, what if it was and he was coming to say that he was leaving town?

  It would be so cruel for her to have met someone she had such a genuine connection with and then have him just turn around and leave. She wanted to spend more time with him, and she wanted to feel how it was to be pursued all over again.

  She took a deep breath and composed herself, and then she lay the pen down and turned around to face him.

  “What took you so long?” she smiled as her eyes focused in on his and he smiled back at her widely.

  He laughed and ran a big, manly hand through his hair and then he took a step closer.

  “I’ve been very busy,” he said sternly but with a hint of playfulness. “I had some stuff I needed to get out of the way.”

  “What kind of stuff?” she cocked her head to the side and folded her arms across her chest.

  “That question falls into the category of predictability,” he said as he wagged a finger at her. “You know how I feel about that.”

  “Touché,” she smirked and then bit her bottom lip gently and looked back at him with wide eyes.

  He looked so damned good.

  Much better than she had remembered, and even though she wanted to feel nervous around him and apprehensive, there wasn’t a tiny part of her that was.

  Something about being in his company felt very, very right.

  “I’ve been thinking,” he said suddenly as he took another step closer. “I don’t know a whole lot about this sleepy little town… Fancy being my tour guide?”

  Melissa’s heart did a little dance in her chest and she bit her lip and grinned.

  “You know what,” she smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  He smiled back at her and his eyes glinted. His pupils were wide and open and she could tell he was feeling the same as she was. There was something between them that was pure raw animal attraction. But the bonus, was that they seemed to connect on other levels too.

  “What about tonight?” he asked as he studied her.

  “I’ll be here until late,” she said, even though she wanted to kill herself for being so tied down to the job for the first time in her entire life. “But, we have a poetry slam on later… why not come along and then we can slip out when it quietens down a little or when my cover comes in?”

  He shifted uncomfortably on the spot for a moment and scratched the back of his neck.

  “A poetry slam?” he asked with a raised brow.

  “Yeah, you know, a group of amateur writers who all get together and throw some words out on the microphone for people to listen to, comment on, maybe even applaud…”

  “Sounds very artistic,” he said with a smile. “How many people do you usually get?”

  She shrugged.

  “It depends, I guess.”

  “Okay,” he said as he turned and leaned against the door frame. “I’ll be here to pick you up… but I’m not getting up on a microphone.”

  Melissa laughed and shook her head.

  “Well, I don’t blame you,” she mused. “It gets pretty intense.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “I can imagine.”

  He winked at her and slipped out of the doorway and continued to his motorcycle. Melissa held her breath as she watched him leave, and when he cocked his leg over the side of it and started the ignition she felt her whole body react to him all over again.

  Who the fuck was this guy!?

  And how was he managing to turn her into a quivering mess just by looking at her? And oh…there was that familiar tingle down there…

  She fanned her face with her hand as she watched him zoom up Main Street and disappear into the throng of cars that were lined up to get through the lights.

  She was going to see him again that evening, and now she knew the day was going to drag even longer.

  She reached down and pulled her purse out to put it on top of the counter. She was so glad she had dressed up a bit already for the poetry slam, because if she hadn’t and had come in her scruffs, she would have felt so embarrassed. She touched up her make-up and smiled in her little mirror and then she sent a quick text to Carly consisting of one perfect sentence…

  M: OMFG! Nate is com
ing to the slam tonight :D

  She pressed send and then she sat back down on her chair and looked out into the belly of the book shop.

  She felt good.

  Really good.

  And now, she was just even more excited for what was to come.

  By the time it was approaching six, Melissa had cordoned off part of the bookstore so that the people coming for the slam could come via the front door of the shop, or via the café side. They sometimes used the red rope for book signings to make it all feel a little more official, but since Roz had bought it, they tended to just use it for nights such as this.

  Rachel and a new café girl were milling around in the other section and were cleaning down the tables, prepping, and lighting a small little candle in the middle of each. On the café side, they had a small stage set up in the very corner on a slant, and a microphone was standing on its own in the center of it. A piano was in the farthest corner and usually, they would hire a musician to come in and tinkle the ivories while their customers and the poets and writers taking part got themselves settled and well oiled with an Irish coffee or two.

  Melissa shut up the bookshop section of the store and made sure the registers were all empty and locked up. The rest of the shift she would be more a café worker than a bookstore employee. The days they had events were always welcome to break up the usual bookstore routine. Of course today was anything but routine. She had spent the majority of the afternoon running around the place excitedly and repeatedly looking at herself in the mirror. She still found it hard to believe sometimes that she had been so brave to cut her hair shorter and dye it bright red, but the more she saw it, the more she liked it - and it was certainly helping with her confidence.

  She turned off the majority of the lights in the store and just left on the ones that shone down on her self-made walkway that could lead through to the café, and then she headed to that side herself and grabbed herself a drink.