“No, Alice, I’m not coming in today. Ask Jonesy,” he said, referring to a fellow physician, “if he’ll do me a favor and check Mr. Rosen for me. Tell him I owe him one. What am I doing? I’m doing the dishes, then I’m going for a run. What do you mean why do I sound so chipper? I always sound chipper. I am not an ogre, and you know it. Hey, I might not be in tomorrow either. You okay with that, Alice? Good. Stay in touch. Refer any emergencies to Jonesy. I’ll call him later. Stop fussing, Alice, I’m fine.”
And he was fine.
Zack made his way upstairs, where he changed his clothes. The fleece-lined warm-up suit felt good. There was no doubt in his mind that he could do the full ten miles. Thanks to Sam. He headed for the door, then turned back to sit down on the king-size bed. Everything in the room smelled like Hannah. Everything.
Damn, how could I have been so blind? How could I not have seen what she was going through?
“Oh, God, Hanny, did I drive you away from me the other night? How in the hell am I going to make that right? Sam said, you just do it, that’s how. You go to her like the stupid jerk you are, and you tell her the way it is. Remind her that she’s a stupid jerk herself sometimes. End of story.” Ever-blunt Sam.
It sounded like a plan. Sam said pride was a deadly sin. Sam had an answer for everything. When had Sam gotten so smart?
Well, he was going to have to think about this. It couldn’t be as simple and as easy as Sam made it sound.
Zack reached for his Walkman and clamped the earphones on his head. He’d think about his problem on his run. Then when he got home, he’d build a fire, pop something in the oven, and sit and work out the best way to approach his wife tonight after his and Joel’s dinner with their instructors, Marylee and Corinne.
Chapter Nine
LORETTA CISCO WALKED THROUGH HER NEW LITTLE house in the valley. A fire burned in the new fireplace. A brand-new blanket and two new dog beds sat beside the hearth waiting for Freddie and Hugo to accept them. So far the dogs had just sniffed at them. Freddie looked up at her mistress. Cisco leaned down, and whispered, “Like Sam says, Freddie, it sucks, but we have to accept it. I don’t like all this new stuff either.” She stroked the retriever’s golden head with a gnarled hand. The dog inched her toward the new recliner that sat in the same place the old one had rested.
Cisco sat down, her face puckering, as she tried not to cry. Freddie dropped her head in her lap and licked her hand.
“Frederica,” Cisco said to the dog, “in fifty years it will be like our old house. We just have to make this new house lived in. Maybe when we get some Christmas decorations up it will look different. Would you listen to me? Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and here I am thinking about Christmas.”
Cisco looked up to see Ezra standing in the doorway. “It smells so new,” she observed. Fresh paint, wallpaper in the bathrooms, and the new wood smell, not to mention the furniture polish. I guess we should go to a flower shop to get some green plants. Green plants always seem to make a house look more lived in. The fire is nice, Ezra, thank you for building it.”
Ezra marched around the cozy living room looking at the different pieces of new furniture, touching a table, smoothing the arm covers on the sofa. “Before you know it, Loretta, you’ll have this house filled with new memories and new treasures. Right now it looks a tad bare because there are no pictures on the walls, and like you said, green plants will make a big difference.
“I have an idea, Loretta. Do you remember the pictures we took on Labor Day? The film is still in my camera up at my house. Let’s take them to be developed, then frame them so you have pictures on your mantel. We need to buy the dogs some new toys, too. If we leave now, we’ll be back in plenty of time for you to make the pies for Thanksgiving dinner at the church tomorrow. I promised I would help, and I will.”
Cisco heaved herself out of the new recliner. “It’s fairly comfortable. Did you try yours out yet, Ezra?”
“No, but I will later when the pies are baking,” Ezra said, laughing.
“Tell me again why we aren’t having Thanksgiving dinner here in my new house.”
“We are not having dinner here because Jonathan and the Trips have other things to do. Let’s not dwell on that, Loretta. Father Drupieski convinced us the town needs to come together for Thanksgiving dinner at the church. If I’m not mistaken, it was your idea, Loretta. You can’t wiggle out now. Everyone is bringing something, like you suggested. Father himself is roasting the turkeys. We have so much to be thankful for, my dear.”
Cisco squared her shoulders. Everything Ezra said was true. Why was she having so much trouble accepting things as they were now? In addition, she was thinking way too much, and she wasn’t liking the direction her thoughts were taking. “You’re saying I prefer living in the past with my memories. That’s partly true, but this will be the first year ever that I didn’t make Thanksgiving dinner for my family. My biggest fear, my only fear, is that the family will be too busy this Christmas to come home. What will I do then? How will I handle that, Ezra?”
“I don’t know, Loretta. I just know you will. We are getting married Christmas Day, so that will be a new beginning for both of us. I think that’s what we have to concentrate on, not on what might or might not happen.”
Cisco managed a wan smile. “When all is said and done, Ezra, it always comes down to family. We’ve come so far, been through so much, I don’t want to see it all disappear. There’s trouble with my Trips. There’s trouble with Jonathan. In the past they always confided in me. But not this time. That’s how I know this time is serious and different.”
“Do you think it has something to do with me?” Ezra asked hesitantly.
“Oh, good Lord, no, Ezra. My family loves you as much as I do. No, it’s something else they’ve chosen not to share with me. The not sharing is the part that bothers me. I’m having a real hard time with it.”
“The Trips are married now, Cisco. That changes everything. They share with their husbands, and that’s as it should be. In addition, you turned over the business to them. I’m afraid it’s something we’re going to have to get used to. It was bound to be painful, Loretta. We talked about this if you recall.”
They were in the new kitchen by then. Cisco looked down at the electric range, with its smooth glass top. She moved on to the built-in dishwasher and the monster refrigerator. Everything matched and sparkled. Even the trash compactor. “Newfangled appliances. I bet that stove doesn’t bake half as good as my old one.” She looked up at the kitchen window. It cried for a green plant and a set of cheerful curtains. “But it’s so out of character for the Trips. They don’t even call anymore, Ezra.”
“Yes, Loretta, they do call. They just don’t stay on the line and jabber endlessly. They also leave messages when we aren’t home now that I got an answering machine. In addition, you don’t care for the things they say. I think, my dear, if you had your way, you’d keep them as children all their lives.”
Cisco pursed her lips. Sometimes Ezra was too smart for his own good. She walked over to the new rocking chair, with its new checkered cushions, in front of the kitchen fireplace, and sat down. She motioned for Ezra to sit on the companion rocker. “The rock is off. I’ll get used to it,” she added hastily as she saw the look of exasperation on Ezra’s face. “I used to dress the Trips alike when they were young. Right after Margie died. It seemed important to do that. To make them one, if that makes any sense. Sam rebelled, but his father stepped in, and that was the end of that. He wanted to wear jeans with holes in the knees, dirty sneakers, and ragged shirts. Margie let him dress like that. She was a wonderful wife and mother but extremely indulgent. Then when they went to private school, they had to wear uniforms that were alike. Sam rebelled at that, too. Somewhere along the way, he just gave in. They were so happy back then. We were all so happy.
“The children know every stone and blade of grass in this valley. The mountain, too. They played from morning till night in the summers. After chores of
course. It was the happiest time of my life.” Cisco sighed.
Ezra’s brow furrowed. “It must have been hectic with their friends here all the time.”
Cisco looked at him sharply before she rose out of the chair. “No, it wasn’t hectic because there were no friends. The Trips didn’t need friends; they had each other. Jonathan and I had the factory to run, and there was no time to arrange play dates. I think that’s the term parents use today. Trust me when I tell you they were extremely busy with piano lessons, dance lessons, gymnastics. We had instructors come out to the valley.”
“Oh,” was all Ezra could think of to say.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to go to town? Let’s go, Ezra. Strolling down Memory Lane is depressing. I think after the holidays I am going to get someone to wallpaper this kitchen. A white paper with clusters of strawberries all over it. Something cheerful. Maybe I’ll get some red crockery. I have to get a new cookie jar, too, for Freddie’s dog treats. A big red strawberry. I saw one in a catalog. I’m thinking I’m going to be shopping a lot through catalogs after Christmas. You know, when the snow starts to fall.”
Ezra nodded. He wondered why Loretta’s voice sounded so defensive. He shrugged. He was always careful not to step over the line Cisco had drawn earlier in regard to her precious Trips. Maybe that would change when they got married, and he became an official family member. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t.
Cisco turned to lock the door behind them. This was new, too. She’d never, ever, locked her doors before. She wondered why she was doing it. She looked around, then up at the sky. It was gray and dismal-looking, and it felt like snow was in the air. Already, her old bones were aching. She shivered as she made her way down the path that led to the driveway where Ezra’s new truck waited, the engine running.
The holly bushes were full of succulent red berries, the spreading yews sparkling with icy crystals. Winter had definitely arrived. She shivered again inside her new coat. “When do you think Sam and Sonia are going to tell us about their pregnancy, Ezra?”
Ezra stopped in midstride. He turned to look at the little lady he’d come to love with such passion. “And you know this…how, Loretta?”
“Just by looking at Sonia. I noticed it a month ago when I saw Sonia. She has that look. Don’t worry, Ezra, it’s a woman thing. There’s a certain sparkle in a woman’s eyes when she’s pregnant.”
Ezra settled his baseball cap more firmly on his head. “I see. Is that what’s been bothering you, Loretta? Careful now, step up on the running board. I had it installed just for you, you know. I can give you a boost if you need it,” he joked.
“I do not need a boost, thank you very much. Yes, their not telling me that she’s expecting bothers me, among other things. They should be shouting the news from the rooftops. When Margie got pregnant, everyone in the valley knew within an hour of her finding out. I don’t think there was a happier woman on this earth that day. Oh, it’s so warm,” Cisco said as she slipped her seat belt into place.
“It’s that newfangled gizmo that allows you to turn your engine on as well as the heater from inside the house. I got it just for you because I know how you hate to shiver, Loretta. You see, new things aren’t so bad. Eventually you get used to them, then wonder how you ever did without them before.”
“Hmmm. Let’s take the long way into town, go around to the other side of the valley, Ezra, I want to see how Jonathan is doing with the Ryans’ house. Ruth is expecting to move in today. She might need some help.”
“By the long way, do you mean past the fifty acres of land you own on the other side of the valley?”
“Yes, dear, that way,” Cisco replied absently as she stared out the window. “I really think it might snow before the day is over.”
“Do you mind telling me why you want to go so far out of our way, Loretta? It’s not that I mind, I just like to know the why of things. I think you might be right about the snow, too.”
“Because.”
Ezra concentrated on his driving. “Because” meant he wasn’t going to get any further information. He glared at the road and tried not to think about his unhappy driving companion.
Hannah didn’t hesitate when she parked her car in the lot of the Allegheny Inn. She hopped out, snapped the trunk open, and yanked out her bag. She walked forward quickly before she could change her mind. The move to the Inn was a necessity. She couldn’t take one more night of sleeping on that uncomfortable cot at the factory. She probably wouldn’t sleep here either, but at least she’d be in a comfortable bed and could watch television all night long.
She registered, accepted the key, and left her bag at the desk to be brought up later. For some reason she thought the Inn would be bustling with out-of-town visitors home for the holiday, but the lobby was almost empty. A few businessmen checking out, a few people she didn’t recognize, and that was it. While she waited for the elevator, she looked around. Her parents’ wedding reception had been held here at the Inn. It looked the same to her now as it had in the old pictures in Cisco’s album. The album that was now gone, never to be replaced. The thought brought tears to her eyes.
The elevator swished open, and she came face-to-face with Sonia.
“Sonia!”
“Hannah!”
Both young women started to jabber at once, then stopped to stare at each other in confusion. It was Hannah who had the presence of mind to take hold of her sister-in-law’s hand and draw her toward the huge fieldstone fireplace that took up one whole wall of the lobby. “Sam’s been looking for you!” Hannah hissed. She yanked at two of the chairs and turned them so they faced the fire. She sat down and turned toward Sonia.
“You know, one year, someone chopped down a big old cherry tree in their yard and sawed the trunk into two parts, and brought it here to the Inn for this very fireplace. It took all of November and December for the first part to burn all the way through. It burned day and night. The second half burned through January and February. Imagine that! I read about it in the Daily News.
“We can order breakfast here. Cisco used to bring us here for Sunday brunch when we were little but only after we’d learned some manners. She spiffed us up to look like…oh, I don’t know. Sam said we looked like the Three Stooges. People always stared at us. It got so I hated coming here. I don’t think Sara liked it either. Talk to me, Sonia,” Hannah said breathlessly.
Sonia was petite, with dark eyes and dark hair, and a win-some, endearing smile. It’s easy to see why Sam fell in love with her, Hannah thought. “Listen, Sonia, I don’t for one minute buy that story of you leaving Sam because you want bright lights and excitement. Now, tell me, what’s going on between you and Sam? Why did you leave him? He’s devastated. On top of being devastated, he’s someone I don’t even know anymore. It’s not just because you left him, Sonia. It’s something else. All of a sudden it’s like he and Sara and I are all unraveling. We thought you went home to your parents.” This was also said breathlessly. She tugged at the hunter green jacket of her pantsuit, which felt too big.
“I didn’t have enough money to go to my parents,” Sara explained. “As a matter of fact, I can only stay here one more day, then I was going to…I don’t know what I was going to do. Go to Father Drupieski and ask for help I guess. What are you doing here, Hannah?”
Hannah leaned back in the chair and rattled off her story. It was such a relief to talk about it to someone other than her family, not that she didn’t consider Sonia family. She was new family. When Hannah finally wound down, she said, “I’m just as displaced as you are. You can bunk with me here at the Inn until both of us decide what to do.
“Why did you run like that, Sonia? Why didn’t you come to Sara or me?”
“I did tell Sara I was pregnant and swore her to secrecy. I didn’t want to cause problems between Sam and the two of you. It seemed like the best thing to do at the time, just as you thought it was best to hide your fear that your husband is having an affair, which, by the way, I don’t
believe.”
Sonia sighed. “I don’t know how it happened, Hannah. Sam and I used birth control, and still I got pregnant. I knew he would blame me because I wanted children right away, and he didn’t. We agreed to wait a year or two to have children. I was okay with that even though I wanted children right away. I understood. What I never understood was why Sam didn’t want me to work. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me here to the States to go to college. I wanted to teach, and Sam wanted me to stay home. All I did was clean house and cook. It was what your mother did, and that’s what he wanted me to do. Every time I brought up the subject of getting a job he’d get upset. I hate soap operas. I hate watching game shows. I got tired of scrubbing and cleaning. I was so desperate to do something, I started mowing the lawn so Sam wouldn’t have to do it. I planted flowers, painted the back porch. I even blacktopped the driveway. He was furious. And then I got pregnant. Do you think you could lend me money to go home, Hannah?”
“Of course I can lend you money to go home, but that isn’t your answer, Sonia. Your answer is to talk to Sam. Work it out. At least try. If that doesn’t work, then you can go home. I think you might have finally gotten Sam’s attention. He loves you with all his heart, Sonia. He really does.”
Sonia’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “You know this for sure, Hannah?”
Hannah smiled in return. “I know this for sure. Let’s get some breakfast. The coffee shop here at the Inn makes a wonderful omelet.” Realizing Sonia’s finances were on the low side, she said, “I insist, and it’s my treat.”
“This is a very pleasant lobby. I’ve been coming down in the evenings to sit by the fire and read the paper. I met some lovely people. Two of them actually invited me for Thanksgiving dinner. Of course I said no. Are you going to your grandmother’s, Hannah?”
“No. I’m probably going to eat right here at the hotel, or else I’ll go over to the church. The whole town will turn out for Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe we should think about going together. You know, strength in numbers, that kind of thing. Call me stubborn or whatever you want, but I’m not going home to a cold house and a husband who doesn’t want me and is unfaithful in the bargain. I’m too worn-out emotionally to fight with Zack. I’m willing to take the blame for my end of things, but I’m not taking the blame for everything. I have my pride, too. I’m sick and tired of being alone. At least you can’t say that about Sam. Sara and I have spent so much time alone we could be classified as widows. Look, let’s talk about pleasant things.”
Family Blessings (Cisco Family) Page 11