As Christianity spread to the British Isles, Brigit, a Celtic mother goddess, began to fade from public memory when people began to honor St. Brigid, the patron saint of students, milkmaids, blacksmiths, and healers. Among her miracles was the ability to make her cows produce milk three times a day! It’s no wonder that her symbol is the cow. St. Brigid put a very different spin on the day, since she’d turned down many good offers of marriage to become a monastic nun.
MUM FINALLY GETS A VISIT
Despite all this reverence and revelry for the Western mother, it wasn’t until the 1600s that a day actually focused on ordinary mothers. (And about time too!) In England, Mothering Sunday was the first holiday that really resembled our modern Mother’s Day. On Mothering Sunday, the fourth Sunday in Lent, hardworking folks like domestic servants were given a special day off so they could go home to visit their mum.
On Mothering Sunday, children would also “go a-mothering,” which meant they returned home carrying small gifts to thank their mums. These gifts might include a small bouquet of flowers or a “mothering cake.” This was usually a fruitcake known as a “simnel cake” (the word “simnel” came from a type of flour and had nothing to do with mum).
Special dinners also played a part in the family reunion. In 17th-century England, mum might serve frumety, a kind of wheat pudding made with wheat grains boiled in sweet milk and flavored with sugar and spices. In Scotland, dinners featured “carlings,” a type of pancake. Eventually the name “Carling Sunday” became the Scottish name for Mothering Sunday.
But no matter what they called her day, very likely Mom was glad to finally get a visit.
TV Moms I: The Perfect Years
Get ready for those 1950s moms—with perfect hair, aprons, and pearls!
Nobody claims that watching TV is the best way to study history. But then again, you can just about track the changing attitudes toward motherhood by tracking the changing roles of moms on television. In tribute to all those TV moms, we’re happy to recall some of our favorites, beginning with the batch that started it all!
HARRIET NELSON: REALLY PERFECT
The Show: The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet (1952–1966) It may surprise you that the first TV mom married to an Ozzie was Harriet (not Sharon!). Harriet was the eminently sensible mother and housewife of The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet, a long-running sitcom about the Nelson family. The show was one of the first sitcoms and a forerunner of the reality TV shows of today. Even though the episodes were fictional, they featured the reallife Nelson family starring as themselves. Even the house the TV family lived in was modeled on the Nelsons’ reallife home.
Of course the TV show wasn’t exactly realistic when it came to the portrayal of Harriet Nelson. On TV, Harriet was a housewife who never seemed to stray far from the kitchen, but the real Harriet was a working mom who spent long days at the studio.
Fun Fact: The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet actually started out as a radio show in 1944.
JUNE CLEAVER: PERFECTLY DRESSED
The Show: Leave It to Beaver (1957–1963)
June Cleaver (played by Barbara Billingsley) was the stylish mom married to Ward Cleaver in Leave It to Beaver. Most of the stories in the series revealed how June and Ward and their older son, Wally, coped with the misadventures of young Theodore, a.k.a. the Beaver.
Whenever June appeared (whether she was handing Beaver his lunch box, tucking him into bed, or vacuuming the living room rug) she was dressed to the nines, sporting a fancy string of pearls and usually wearing heels. Mrs. Cleaver never had a bad hair day and never lost her temper.
The Cleavers were the ideal family, and to this day, when you say nuclear family, many people immediately envision the Cleavers—two kids, a dad who works, and a mom who stays home to take care of the kids and the house. (Though the pearls are optional.)
Fun Fact: Leave It to Beaver aired its very first episode on October 4, 1957, the same day that the Soviet Union launched Sputnik I.
DONNA REED: PERFECTLY WHOLESOME
The Show: The Donna Reed Show (1958–1966)
On The Donna Reed Show, Donna Stone (played by Donna Reed) adopted a daughter after her oldest girl went off to college. Living in the appealing small town of Hillsdale, Donna was another stay-at-home mom with three kids and a pediatrician husband, Dr. Alex Stone. Her wholesome family relied on her to help them out with family misunderstandings, as well as school and dating woes.
Like her counterparts Harriet and June, Donna was a stay-at-home mom, but she was more involved in the lives of her friends and those in her community—even in her husband’s problems. Viewers liked Donna’s friendly, warmhearted ways and considered her a perfect wife and mother.
Fun Fact: Few series fans realized that the actress was actually one of the first female TV executives; Donna Reed was an uncredited director and coproducer of her own show.
In March 2003, a huge snowstorm shut down the Front Range along the eastern slope of the Rockies. Forced to stay at home, people huddled very close together for warmth! The Colorado blizzard yielded a lot more than snow and snowboard rentals. The result? A baby surge 9 months later! Lynne Snyder of the Avista Adventist Hospital in suburban Louisville, Colorado, said it was not unusual, since an up-tick in births often followed major events, like when the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl.
Saving Kitty’s Litter
The brave feline mother who nearly died—not once, but five times—to save her kittens demonstrates the true meaning of mother’s love.
A NEAR CAT-ASTROPHE
The scrawny calico cat was living the hardscrabble existence of a stray in a gritty neighborhood in Brooklyn, New York. She would have remained one of the thousands of nameless stray cats had it not been for her heroic actions on March 29, 1996. On that fateful date, the calico had been tending her five kittens, born just four weeks before, when the abandoned garage she had made her home in suddenly burst into flames.
As the fire raged, firefighters were shocked to observe the plucky mom, though seriously burned herself, repeatedly brave the inferno—emerging each time with another of her kittens. She carefully placed each kitten just outside the door before going back for the next. When all five were safely outdoors, she began taking them, one by one, across the street, farther away from danger.
At four weeks old, the kittens could never have survived the blaze had it not been for their mother’s loving attention. But the mother cat was severely injured. Her eyes were blistered shut and she could not see. The pads of her paws were scorched and her ears and nose were singed. There were bare patches on her face and body where the fur had been burned off.
RESCUING THE RESCUER
David Gianelli was one of the firefighters on duty the night of the garage fire. An animal lover, he was touched by the little cat’s courage and determination. As soon as the fire was contained, he found a cardboard box and gently transported the mother and her kittens to the North Shore Animal League in Port Washington on Long Island. During the trip, the calico cat kept touching each of the kittens in turn. Even though she couldn’t see them, it seemed as though she were counting them to make sure they were all right.
By the time they reached their destination, the mother cat was barely alive and two of her kittens were in bad shape. The doctors at the Animal League worked feverishly to save them. League workers named the brave little mother Scarlett after the red patches of skin showing where the fur had burned away.
Scarlett needed oxygen to breathe, intravenous antibiotics to fight infection, drugs to combat shock, and antibiotic ointments for her skin. Despite the odds, she began to improve within a couple of days of constant care. When the swelling around her face dissipated, she was able to open her eyes; to everyone’s surprise, she was able to see again. Eventually the tips of her ears had to be amputated, but her recovery from her ordeal was deemed miraculous.
Only one of the kittens succumbed to pneumonia as a result of smoke inhalation. The others made a full recovery.
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A FAMOUS FELINE
News of Scarlett and her exploit spread quickly as tales of her bravery were featured on numerous news broadcasts and television talk shows. North Shore Animal League was deluged not only with local requests for news and offers to adopt her and her kittens but also those from around the world, from as far away as South Africa and Japan. With over 1,500 adoption offers, Marge Stein, manager of public relations at the Animal League, held a contest to find Scarlett and the kittens the best home.
A PURR-FECT ENDING
From the thousands of entries they received, the Animal League selected Karen Wellen to be Scarlett’s proud owner. Wellen had written of her great empathy with the cat. Having survived a car accident, which left her with a slight disability, Wellen felt that she and Scarlett had much in common.
Today Scarlett is living a life of ease at the Wellen residence in Brooklyn, a far cry from the Brooklyn she used to know. Her life couldn’t be more different from her existence on the streets. She is healthy, has gained weight, and only occasionally appears somewhat distressed at the sound of fire sirens. Scarlett’s four surviving kittens have also found good adoptive homes with families in New York.
SCARLETT’S HONORS
Even after adoption, Scarlett continued to be honored for her exemplary motherhood. In 1999, the IAMS pet food company named Scarlett “the Top Cat of the Century,” after she won 29 percent of the vote online. On September 19, 2000, she won the first Scarlett Award for Animal Heroism, which was named after her. The award-winning cat has even had two books written about her.
Perhaps the most touching tribute of all came on May 12, 1996. The New York Daily News printed part of a poem composed by one of Scarlett’s many admirers. The poem is titled, “The Heroine,” and reads in part:
Why is everyone so surprised that I saved my furry five
That in spite of pain and danger, I brought them out alive…
Every trip was a burdened choice but I could make no other
The rescuers have called me cat, but I am also mother.
“I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring it.” —Rose Kennedy
“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.” —Jewish proverb
Bringing Up Baby
A trip around the world shows that there’s more than one way to be a great mom to your baby.
Any new mom will tell you that everyone from grandma to a stranger in a grocery store has an opinion on the best way to care for babies. From the moment of conception to the utterance of a first word, everyone is quick to offer advice.
But are there any right answers? A quick look at the traditions of the world’s moms shows that different cultures have very different ideas on what makes a good mother.
DINNER FOR TWO, PLEASE!
Pregnant moms in England and the United States know about eating right when there is a baby on the way. They avoid alcohol, eat a balanced diet, include plenty of protein, and take supplements like folic acid and iron. In India, cautious moms may avoid foods traditionally believed to cause miscarriage or premature delivery, such as meat, eggs, fish, onions, garlic, pineapple, mangoes, and blackberries.
In the West, pregnant mothers are urged to stay active, advice that is taken by moms worldwide. In Vietnam, a pregnant woman is careful not to sleep too much because that is believed to prolong the labor. Instead, to stay strong she will continue to do her housework to keep those labor pains as short as possible.
EDUCATION BEGINS AT CONCEPTION
Many Vietnamese mothers believe in prenatal awareness and try to teach their children even before they are out of the womb. Ideally, a mother listens to sweet music to help enhance her baby’s artistic and musical skills. They’ll also stay away from horror stories and scary films or pictures, as they can affect the mind of her baby-to-be. Even etiquette can be learned as an embryo; moms are careful to avoid bad attitudes and practice good manners so that their kids will be positively polite too.
In the United States, some pregnant mothers are going after the “Mozart Effect.” Two scientists from the University of California-Irvine found that a group of college students had a temporary increase in spatial-temporal reasoning after listening to Mozart. Their current research has shown that listening to Mozart heightens brain function in preschoolers. Anxious to get in on the action, pregnant mothers are listening to Mozart and hoping their unborn babies reap the benefits in the womb. So if toddlers start humming along to The Magic Flute, those moms may be on to something.
SMOKING IS BAD FOR BABIES—OR IS IT?
Smoking cigarettes while pregnant is a big no-no. But what about smoking your baby after it’s born? Don’t worry, “smoking” a baby means exposing him or her to smoke from a smoldering fire so that he or she can be purified by it. In Australia, Warlpiri women purify a newborn baby with smoke from buring acacia leaves. Held high above the fire so as not to burn him or her, the baby is exposed to smoke—first the backside, then the front. In India babies are also “smoked” but benzoin is added to a fire so that the smoke contains antibiotic properties.
BABY, RELIEVE THYSELF!
For those predisposed to diapers, in the West moms can choose between cloth diapers or disposable paper and plastic. Nepalese babies have diapers made of soft yak hair. The Inuit might use lichen or rabbit skin.
Some moms forgo diapers altogether. Many African mothers who carry their babies much of the day are quick to sense when a baby needs to relieve him- or herself. Mom is even quicker to move baby from her chest or back and place him or her in a squat on the ground
When it comes to more developed bathroom behavior, has anyone ever agreed? The American Pediatric Society states flatly that children younger than 12 months have no control over bladder or bowel movements and little control for six months or so after that. In the United States, moms are urged not to begin toilet training until 18 months at the very earliest. Some Beng mothers from the Ivory Coast of Africa begin toilet training their children when they’re as young as 3 or 4 months! Apparently they’re not listening to the American Pediatric Society much!
RUB-A-DUB
Keeping babies clean, soft, and smelling good is a common aim among moms. How they go about it can be quite different. Mothers in Africa and Asia put herbs in the babies’ bathwater to keep them smelling good. And if you think you keep your baby clean, tell it to a Beng mother. She scrubs her baby at least twice a day, believing it’s as important as feeding him. In India, some mothers don’t consider a baby’s bath complete until they’ve blown water into the ears, nose, eyes, and mouth to clear them.
Western mothers often smooth a lotion on a baby after a bath. But not all moms have access to running water or baby lotion, so they resort to homemade remedies. In Africa, a Masai mother will warm water in her mouth before spitting it in a strong stream to shower over her infant. New Caledonian mothers chew herbs into a lotion and then spit them out to rub on a young infant’s skull.
Some Western moms are going to classes to learn a skill that Dogon mothers in Mali have developed over centuries—baby massage. Western moms are often encouraged to give their babies a massage before bedtime. Dogon mothers finish each baby bath with a massage. Indian mothers will also massage a baby all over its body after a bath.
GO, BABY, GO!
Because moms are on the go, baby often comes along for the ride. When they go out on errands, Western moms often hop into the car and baby goes along in a car seat. If mom is on foot, baby still may be on wheels—in the stroller.
Nepalese mothers take their little ones to the field in portable cradles. When the mothers of the Ache tribe in Paraguay need to work, they carry their baby in a sling until he or she is about 18 months old, at which time the baby graduates to riding in baskets. Because they live in dangerous terrain, busy Ache moms carry their children unt
il they’re five years of age. Other moms, like those of the Arapesh of New Guinea, get their babies off their backs earlier—at about three years.
LULLABY AND GOOD NIGHT!
In many industrialized nations, moms train their infants to sleep in a crib. In Holland, Dutch moms emphasize quiet routines for their babies during the day so that they’ll be able to follow a nighttime schedule. But in industrialized Japan, moms and dads share their bedrooms with the babies and kids too. Kung San mothers sleep with their babies. In South America, Yanomamo babies sleep with their mothers until they are weaned and then graduate to hammocks of their own. In Russia, Scotland, Australia, Africa, South America, Polynesia, and other cultures all around the world, moms are softly singing lullabies to urge baby to sleep.
ANY RIGHT ANSWERS?
So what have we learned? It seems there aren’t any hard and fast rules when it comes to baby care. Try everything and settle on what works for you and your baby—no matter where your family comes from!
“The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint.” —James Fenton
Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader Page 2