Name that Mama Diva!
All moms can be divas, but can you ID these chanteuses from their stories?
1. Everybody knows I’m a diva Supreme. But most folks don’t know that I’m also a mama Supreme. I led my two gal pals in our singing trio when we joined Motown and our first hit record was “Where Did Our Love Go?” Want to know where lots of my love goes? To my five kids. They’ll tell you I’m a devoted mom. I may be a star, but my kids and I have dinner together with no phone calls or TV allowed.
Who am I?
__A. Donna Summer
__B. Mary Wilson
__C. Diana Ross
__D. Gladys Knight
2. I’m the comeback queen who got her start as half of a husband-and-wife singing duo. We had each other long enough to have a darling daughter and star in a hit comedy variety show. Our love didn’t last and we soon parted ways, but my solo career kept my children and me going strong. Whether listening to “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves,” “If I Could Turn Back Time,” or “Believe,” you’ll always recognize my distinctive sound.
Who am I?
__A. Natalie Cole
__B. Joni Mitchell
__C. Dolly Parton
__D. Cher
3. I used to be the Material Girl, but that was before I had two kids, a boy and a girl. I don’t expose them to bawdy antics like the ones I’ve performed onstage. Instead of producing more adult books called Sex, I’m now writing children’s books. People may call me immoral but my second children’s book is based on rabbinical teachings that I learned while studying the spiritual lessons of the Kabbalah—so there!
Who am I?
__A. Debbie Gibson
__B. Madonna
__C. Cyndi Lauper
__D. Courtney Love
4. I made quite a name for myself as the raven-haired lead singer of the psychedelic rock band Jefferson Airplane. With hits like “White Rabbit” and “Somebody to Love,” I was a freak-out queen in the late 1960s. Rumor has it that I named my daughter God, but that was just an unfortunate joke I made in the maternity ward right after her birth. Her name is and always has been China.
Who am I?
__A. Grace Slick
__B. Michelle Phillips
__C. Marianne Faithfull
__D. Carly Simon
ANSWERS: 1. C; 2. D; 3. B; 4. A
The Battle for Baby M
It was a trial that mesmerized the nation. Who would keep Baby M?
In 1985, a New Jersey homemaker and mother of two, Mary Beth Whitehead, and her husband, Richard, entered into a contractual agreement with biochemist William Stern to conceive a baby. Stern agreed to pay $10,000 to the Whiteheads for Mary Beth to be artificially inseminated with William’s sperm. The contract stipulated that Mary Beth would not form a “parent-child relationship” with the baby and would surrender both the baby and her parental rights to William Stern. By signing the contract, Mary Beth agreed to become a surrogate mother for William and his wife, Dr. Elizabeth Stern.
THE NEW FRONTIER
There are two types of surrogacy. Gestational surrogacy involves a surrogate mother being implanted with another woman’s fertilized egg; in this instance, the surrogate isn’t genetically related to the baby she gives birth to. Advanced infertility treatments developed in the 1980s allowed doctors to fertilize an egg in a petri dish, then implant the zygote in a woman’s uterus. This meant that many infertile couples would now be able to bear children. It also meant that if a woman could not carry to term, she could hire another woman to carry the baby for her. Mary Beth was different in that her egg was fertilized via artificial insemination. She was the baby’s biological mother and Stern was the biological father.
Surrogate mothers help couples that can’t have children by bearing a baby for them. According to the Old Testament, Sarah and Abraham had a surrogate mother, Sarah’s maid Hagar, for their son Ishmael (Genesis 16). But if surrogacy is as old as the Bible, formal contracts like the one between Mary Beth and William were very new in 1985.
Though the contract was set down neatly in black and white, when the baby arrived things became very complicated. On March 27, 1986, 28-year-old Mary Beth gave birth to a baby daughter, with whom she immediately bonded. She decided that she had made a mistake in signing the contract and wanted to keep her daughter. Naming the baby Sara Elizabeth Whitehead, Mary Beth took the baby home and turned down the $10,000. The Sterns demanded custody of the infant they named Melissa Stern, and when Mary Beth refused to give her daughter up, the Sterns got a court order from Judge Harvey Sorkow ordering Whitehead to hand over her five-week-old daughter.
A MOTHER’S TRIAL
Whitehead escaped with her baby to Florida and threatened to kill herself and the baby if authorities tried to take her away. Private detectives hired by the Sterns tracked the pair down and took the baby away from the mother. They turned Sara over to the Sterns, who renamed her Melissa. On January 5, 1987, a custody trial began with both sides suing for custody. To protect the baby’s privacy, the court referred to her as Baby M.
The highly publicized case was called the “trial of the century” at the time. The new use of surrogate contracts stirred curiosity. Could you really hire a woman to “rent out her uterus,” as some newspapers described it? Mary Beth’s dramatic flight to Florida gave the case an uncertain edge. What might this desperate woman do next? Finally, there was the prize of custody—everyone had an opinion about who should care for Baby M.
As the trial progressed, two issues were debated by the lawyers, pundits, and the public. The first was the contract between Mary Beth and William. The Sterns argued that Ms. Whitehead knew what she was getting into when she agreed to give the baby away. A famous child psychologist of the day, Dr. Lee Salk, testified that by signing the contract Mary Beth became a surrogate uterus—not a mother at all. Mary Beth supporters argued that she returned the money and that she loved her daughter. The two had formed a bond through pregnancy and delivery.
Next came the question of the most fit parent for Baby M. Mary Beth’s attorneys attempted to show that the forty-something Elizabeth Stern had not had a baby because of possible interference with her medical career. The prosecution claimed that Dr. Stern hadn’t become pregnant because she had self-diagnosed multiple sclerosis. Aiding the Stern’s case were influential experts like psychiatrist Dr. Marshall Schechter. He called Ms. Whitehead an unfit mother, giving as examples her playing of patty-cake inappropriately—shouting “hooray” when the baby clapped her hands instead of reinforcing the behavior by clapping her own hands—and her giving the baby stuffed pandas for toys instead of simple pots and spoons.
WAS THIS DEAL IDEAL?
Outside the court, much public sympathy went to William Stern. “A deal is a deal,” ran the popular verdict. Against the evidence of the contract she had signed, Mary Beth’s love of her daughter was dismissed by many observers as overemotional and even a tad unbalanced. Though she was raising two healthy children, her former desperate outbursts and the verdicts of psychological experts convinced many that this mother shouldn’t be trusted to even visit her daughter.
Still, there was growing public support for Mary Beth. Over 100 famous females—including Nora Ephron, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, and Meryl Streep—signed a statement debunking Schechter’s patty-cake test for judging motherhood. Other court watchers pointed out that the contract itself was unreasonable. It forced the Whiteheads “to assume all risks, including the risk of death” and insisted that Mary Beth not fall in love with her baby. Could a contract force a person to risk death and not feel love?
THE JUDGES GIVETH AND TAKETH AWAY
After listening to the evidence, Judge Sorkow granted William Stern full custody and denied visitation to the surrogate mother. Immediately following the decision, Elizabeth Stern adopted Baby M in Judge Sorkow’s chambers. Mary Beth immediately appealed his decision, saying that the judge who had signed the original order taking the baby from her considered her “just
a uterus with legs.”
On February 3, 1988, the New Jersey Supreme Court heard Whitehead’s appeal and reversed Sorkow’s ruling. The original surrogacy contract was nullified, Elizabeth’s subsequent adoption annulled, and Mary Beth’s parental rights reestablished. The court recognized her as the baby’s biological mother, giving her “generous” and unsupervised visitation rights. It also declared surrogate mother contracts invalid and illegal in the state of New Jersey. The Baby M case led to strict legislation of surrogacy and bans on fee-based surrogacy arrangements in ten states. Mary Beth and the baby were now reunited. Some were glad. Some were horrified. And some called it “mothering by committee.”
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY M?
The little girl who’d been named both Melissa and Sara has since nicknamed herself “Sassy.” According to Mary Beth, Sassy calls her “Mom,” William Stern “Dad,” and Elizabeth Stern “Betsy.” Living mainly at the Sterns as an only child, Sassy also fits in comfortably with her half siblings when she visits her mother in Long Island, New York. Mary Beth feels she and her daughter still share a deep bond.
Though Mary Beth would never regret having Sassy and has described her relations with the Sterns as “civil,” she speaks out against surrogacy and would like to prevent it from happening to anyone else. It’s not known what the Sterns, who have fought hard for Sassy’s privacy, think of the arrangement. On this and on the subject of surrogacy—they’ve kept mum.
“Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.” —Annie Sullivan
Swoopes, There It Is
Record Breaker, Olympic Gold Winner, Basketball Maven, and Mom
Sheryl Denise Swoopes has been called the female Michael Jordan. The six-foot-tall forward for the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) Houston Comets certainly racks up points and awards like her male counterpart. But Swoopes has achieved something that Jordan will never accomplish—she’s given birth.
RHYMES WITH HOOPS
Swoopes was born March 25, 1971, in Brownfield, Texas. When she was seven, she started playing basketball with her two older brothers with a homemade basket built from an old bike tire rim with the spokes popped out. Luckily, all the home practice paid off. A year later she went to the national championships with her Little Dribblers team.
As Sheryl got older, she became an even brighter star. As a high-school athlete, she led her team in scoring and earned the Texas female high-school player of the year award in 1989. Attending Texas Tech University, Swoopes and the Red Raiders won the national championship in the NCAA tournament in 1993. During the championship game, she even shattered the record for the most points ever scored in a Division I NCAA basketball championship game—a record formerly held by Bill Walton! Swoopes’s 47 points are the most ever scored in the Final Four by any player—male or female.
JUST DO IT, MOM
In spring 1995, Nike announced the launch of a new basketball shoe—the Air Swoopes. Sheryl signed a multiyear deal with Nike to put her name on the first signature shoe named after a women. The black-and-white Air Swoopes is a high-top shoe, the first one named after any athlete since 1985, when the Air Jordan was introduced.
AWARD HIGHLIGHTS
After college, Sheryl’s star continued to rise when, in 1996, Swoopes, as part of the U.S. women’s team won Olympic gold. Then in 1997, she was the first woman signed to play basketball for the fledgling WNBA, a professional sports league for women. Since then, she has helped lead the Houston Comets to four consecutive championships.
BREASTFEEDING AND A GOOD SUPPORT BRA
On June 25, 1997, Sheryl Swoopes gave birth to her son, Jordan Eric Jackson. Swoopes claims that the first question she asked her doctor after giving birth was, “When can I start working out?” Two weeks later she was back in the gym working hard to lose the baby weight and get herself back on the court. In just six weeks, she returned to the hardwood floors having lost all but 5 of the 47 pounds she had gained during pregnancy. On August 7, she made her WNBA debut as a glowing new mom.
The life of a pro athlete is hectic. Often traveling and maintaining a crazy schedule, Sheryl took Jordan on the road with her and managed to breastfeed him for the first seven months. Swoopes credits the breast pump with her success, calling it the “second best thing ever invented.” We’re not sure what she thinks the first is.
DRIBBLES ON THE COURT, DRIBBLES ON THE BIB
Since little Jordan’s birth, Sheryl has continued to be honored for all of her athletic achievements. She won the 2001 ESPY for Women’s Pro Basketball Player of the Year and was voted the WNBA’s Most Valuable Player in 2000 and 2002. She won another gold medal with the American women in the 2000 Olympic games as well.
Now, in addition to being an award-winning athlete, Swoopes is a single divorced mom facing the challenges of juggling motherhood and a professional basketball career. The WNBA does not provide childcare, so Swoopes must balance her parenting duties with the pressures of travel and night games. She credits her own mother, Louise, as her inspiration and role model. Louise worked three jobs and raised Sheryl and her brothers alone.
BUT WHOSE SHOES DOES HE WEAR?
Swoopes, like any mom, is proud of her son’s accomplishments, but feels no need to pressure him into sports. “If he wants to play sports, then that’s fine. If he doesn’t want to play sports, that’s fine too. I just want him to be happy,” she says. He is involved with karate, ice-skating, gymnastics, and his favorite sport, basketball, of course.
Spot Those Moms, Again!
Are they or aren’t they?
They are female movers and shakers. Are they powerhouses too?
1. Annie Oakley:
International sharpshooting star
In Ohio, Phoebe Anne Oakley Moses took up hunting to help out her financially strapped mother. She was such a good shot that she sold game and used the money to pay off the mortgage on the family’s farm. An admiring friend entered her in a contest against noted sharpshooter Frank Butler. Butler lost the match but won Annie; he became her manager and her husband. In 1885 Annie was the big star attraction in the Buffalo Bill Wild West Show. A famous part of the act included her shooting a cigarette out of Frank’s mouth. What a trusting husband! It’s no wonder they stayed married for more than 50 years.
Did Frank and Annie have any little sharpshooters?
2. Jane Addams: Founder of Hull House
and Nobel Peace Prize recipient
At one time, Jane Addams considered a medical career, but eventually decided to work on social rather than medical ills. In 1899 in Chicago, Illinois, she helped to found Hull House, one of the first social settlements in North America. Jane and her friends turned Hull House from an old mansion into a community center that delivered educational and social services to Chicago’s immigrant poor. Jane wrote books on social reform and helped pass legislation banning child labor. But it was Jane’s attempts to establish international efforts for peace that brought her the Nobel Peace Prize in 1931.
Did Jane hear the patter of little feet in her famous Hull House?
3. Sandra Day O’Connor:
First female justice of the U.S. Supreme Court
Sandra Day O’Connor studied law at Stanford University, where she ranked third in her class. But when she applied for her first job with a California law firm, they turned her down because she was a woman. Sandra persevered with her own practice in Arizona, and by 1979 she was a judge on the Arizona Court of Appeals. President Reagan was impressed by her conservative credentials and nominated her to the Supreme Court. A Supreme Court Justice since 1981, O’Connor shaped many of the court’s decisions as a crucial “swing” vote.
What was Sandra Day O’Connor’s verdict on motherhood?
4. Meg Whitman: CEO of a
billion dollar e-commerce company
Whitman was head of Hasbro’s Playskool division (with 600 employees and $600 million annual sales of toys) when she made a very risky move. She accepted an offer in
1998 to head an unknown start-up called Auction Web, whose top-selling category was Beanie Babies. Her gamble paid off. Today Whitman is still President and CEO of the company—now better known as eBay—that hosts more than $20 billion in gross annual sales. More than seven million people visit eBay every day. In 2002 Fortune ranked Whitman as the third most powerful woman in business, Worth magazine ranked her numero uno on its list of best CEOs in 2003, and CBS Market Watch named her CEO of the Year.
Does Whitman have any children who trade Beanie
Babies on eBay?
Answers on page 301.
Mom’s the Word
“But you can’t always tell—with somebody’s mother, I mean. Mothers are all slightly insane . . .”
—J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
“Whenever I’m with my mother, I feel as though I have to spend the whole time avoiding land mines.”
—Amy Tan, The Kitchen God’s Wife
“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.”
—Michael Levine
Did She Eat Schnitzel with Noodles?
The true story of Maria von Trapp, the world’s beloved singing stepmom.
If you’ve never seen The Sound of Music, one of the world’s most famous musicals—maybe you were locked in a cellar for the past few decades—here goes: It takes place in Austria as Hitler is coming to power. A sweet, impulsive nun-in-training named Maria leaves the convent to temporarily become a governess to seven motherless children and brightens their lives by teaching them to sing. She also falls for their stern widower father and retired naval captain, Baron Georg von Trapp, and gives up convent life to marry him. If all this isn’t dramatic enough, the movie ends as the von Trapps leave everything behind to hike over the Alps to escape the Nazis, singing bravely all the way.
Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader Page 22