“Thank you, Newton. I’ll be right down.” Norfolk told him and Newton took his leave. “Alas, I must depart.”
Jemima felt her heart drop as he left, the moment disrupted.
“Alas, you must.” She whispered, watching the door close behind him.
Chapter 7
Unexpected Guests
N orfolk was gone. He had left the moment he had read the message that had arrived. Without any notice, without any goodbyes. Jemima felt hurt. He hadn’t waited for her to be informed and taken her with him. He had taken off, no one knowing when he’d return.
Jemima decided she would use this time to figure out whether she really did love him and if she could tell him. Their last moment together had left her confused. Perhaps he felt the same way. Yet, she couldn’t be sure unless he told her himself.
Nostalgia was a recurring state for her these days, she longed to see Aunt Lucy, and was worried for her health. Winters had started ascending, and it would leave her Aunt exposed to fever and cold. She had no way to contact her, not without revealing where she was at least. She only prayed that the maid that was assisting her aunt was taking care of her responsibly.
Every night that Norfolk was gone, the current being the third, Jemima went to sleep praying for his well-being and a safe journey back to Lancashire. To her.
The next morning, Jemima would wake up to disappointment with the duke having not returned yet. Of course, he must’ve reached London just now, she thought as condolence.
As Jemima woke up on the fourth morning, she had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was an intuition that something had gone terribly wrong. She tried to rid herself of these thoughts as she dressed for the day.
Jemima had been spending the majority of her time with Aunt Agatha. Both women had grown to love each other and were inseparable. Jemima shared stories from her childhood, fabricating the necessary details. Aunt Agatha told her of the full life she had led.
During luncheon, a visitor carriage pulled onto the pavement. Jemima felt optimism, thinking it might be the duke returning. Newton informed them the visitor was taken in and sat in the parlor. Both women got up to go meet them. Jemima felt sad that it was not Norfolk. Although, the sadness turned into shock. Sitting in the parlor was none other than Norfolk’s friend, Lady Sophia Brereton.
Jemima’s blood ran cold and her feet went numb. She stood frozen in shock as Aunt Agatha made way to greet Sophia. Her heart lurched, their lie would be revealed.
“Lady Hambleton, how do you do?” Sophia asked, curtsying. “Sorry for my unannounced arrival.”
“Ah- Lady Sophia, I was so very sorry you couldn’t attend the ball.” Aunt Agatha said.
So they knew each other, Jemima thought. Of course, Norfolk must’ve introduced them.
“That is why I came, to give my sincerest apologies to you. And to congratulate the lovely bride.” Sophia answered smiling, looking at Jemima.
“Allow me to introduce Mrs. Croft, The Duchess of Norfolk.” Aunt Agatha said, making introductions “And you are, Lady Sophia Brereton.”
“How do you do, Your Grace? Congratulations on your wedding.” Sophia offered.
“Thank you.” Jemima spoke through chilled lips.
Jemima was perplexed as it seemed Sophia was unaware of the farce. The women sat down and had tea before Aunt Agatha retired to rest. Jemima had relaxed knowing the secret was safe. Sophia had turned out to be a lovely young lady, fit to marry a duke, Jemima thought begrudgingly.
“I know your secret, missy.” Sophia said in a sing-song voice, and Jemima froze.
So she knew. She had kept quiet till they were alone.
“I-I don’t know what you mean, Lady Sophia.” She said.
“Oh please, save your acting for the frail aunt. You really think Norfolk wouldn’t tell me? I know everything.” Sophia told her, pride in her voice.
It broke Jemima’s heart to hear this. She had been foolish to think the duke wouldn’t have told Sophia. She felt shame spread through her and she felt belittled.
“Yes, ma’am.” Jemima said, showing respect.
“He’s in London, arranging our wedding. You can be on your way then.” Sophia informed Jemima.
“Your wedding?” Jemima whispered.
“Yes, The duke loves me dearly.” Sophia gushed.
Jemima’s heart broke. She was after all only pretending to be his wife. She took Sophia’s leave and went to her chamber. She locked herself in and cried. Would Sophia tell Aunt Agatha? Or would she wait for Norfolk to do it? If they did plan to marry, then why did the duke ask Jemima to do this? To make a fool out of herself. Realizing that her work here was done, Jemima picked up her shawl and left. She took nothing with her, not even the hair pin, having no claim on it.
She walked out of the estate, without ever looking back, as the darkness of night prevailed. She would forget this chapter in her miserable life.
***
A coach was to leave for London in the morning, in a few hours. Having no place to stay, Jemima wore her shawl over her head and went into a tavern, looking for shelter. Her stomach ached, and she was hungry. She had no pennies, and could not buy herself anything to eat. She sat in the corner, as people around her ate and laughed, no worries beholding them.
It was now she allowed herself to cry.
She was in a strange town, far away from home, all alone. She wanted nothing more than to be back in London in her home. She regretted ever doing this for money. No amount of riches could heal her broken heart. She wanted to stop loving the duke, to push away the hurt feeling, but it only intensified when she thought of it.
When morning came, Jemima got in the coach and left Lancashire and its story behind her. More trouble waited for her back home.
***
Walking home after reaching London, Jemima promised herself to forget whatever had happened. She would walk in and never look back on it. She reached home as the sun was setting. She didn't have her key, so she knocked on the door and waited. The maid the duke had arranged to care for her aunt opened the door and took Jemima’s shawl.
“Your aunt is running a fever. I’ve sent for the doctor.” She informed Jemima.
Fear gripped Jemima’s heart as she saw her aunt, weaker than when she had left.
“Auntie?” Jemima asked, unsure if she was up or asleep. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was labored.
“Jemima? You’re back.” Aunt Lucy said, rasping.
“How are you? I’m so sorry, I should’ve never left.” Jemima said and broke down.
“Oh girl, don’t be silly.” Her aunt coughed, “It’s only a fever.”
The doctor arrived. He gave an examination to Aunt Lucy and prescribed her medicine. His prognosis was that it would be hard for her to come back from this. Her body had stopped fighting, and she was succumbing to the cold. Jemima thanked the doctor, and he left. She excused the lady’s maid, and she too left.
Jemima kept a chair next to Aunt Lucy and tended to her the entire night. She refused to sleep, scared that she’d lose her dear auntie.
Aunt Lucy fought bravely, but as the sun rose that morning, her eyes never opened again.
Chapter 8
Juliet bids
Goodbye
J emima folded the last piece of clothing remaining and put it in the suit case. This was the last of it, she thought. It had been a month since Aunt Lucy had passed. A month since Jemima had been tying up loose ends before she left this city for good. She had written to the few relatives they had, informing them of Lucy’s departure. They had sent their condolence and an offer for her to come live with them, which she had cordially refused. She couldn’t bear to live the way they did, the ton. She smirked as she thought this word. Not a month ago she had been living a fairy tale life as a part of them. The Duchess of Norfolk.
For all she knew that title might have already been given to Sophia. But, Jemima did not care. She had kept her promise and not thought about it. Or him. Y
es, a part of her had foolishly waited for him to come looking for her. And that part had died with the wait when he didn’t come. After Lucy’s death, Jemima had no need to work in the theatre anymore. She wanted to leave London and when a suitable job had found her; she accepted.
She was to move to Rye, just outside London. It was far enough for no one to recognize her and she could have a fresh start, finally. The job that waited for her was a fine one. She had been appointed as a governess to the children of the Smith family. The work was engaging, and the wages were more than enough. They provided her with food and lodging. She couldn’t have asked for more.
She had accepted the offer the moment she received it and now waited for a private carriage to collect her. She locked her door and picked up her suitcase as the coachmen held the door open for her. She settled in and told him to proceed. As they rushed past the different streets of London, Jemima allowed the grief to take over and she sobbed. For her Aunt Lucy. For her nights as an actress when she had no money. For her parents, whom she missed. And for the love she had lost before she could acquire it.
***
They reached the Smith House the evening of the same day of her departure from London. She was welcomed by who she assumed to be the housekeeper. The housekeeper, Mrs. King, was a kind elderly lady with a warm smile. She showed Jemima her room and left her to unpack. The room was simple, with a bed, dresser, closet, and a chair. There was a small bathroom outside her room, which she had to share with the nanny.
Jemima was scheduled to meet the family in the morning after breakfast. She would start her lessons with the children tomorrow. Tired from the journey, Jemima decided she would unpack later. She took out her nightgown from the top of the clothes and changed. She combed her hair and tied it into a loose bun. She read the bible for a while and then folded her hands in prayer,
“God, I stand before you with nothing left in my life except my virtue. I have tried to overcome all obstacles optimistically, and now I have none of it left. Please, guide me and give me the strength to move on, amen.”
She drew a long breath and exhaled. A new life waited for her.
***
In the morning, Jemima joined the other staff for a modest breakfast. Everyone was kind and welcoming and she hoped that the family would be too. Having little appetite, Jemima had jam and butter on toast with a cup of tea.
As the breakfast table was cleared, Mrs. King led Jemima into the main house to meet Lord and Lady Smith and the children. The house was huge yet decorated modestly. Jemima liked this that they did not flaunt their riches. This was turning out to be a good decision after all.
They entered the parlor where the family sat waiting for Jemima.
“I hope the journey was not too tiring, and the lodging is comfortable.” Lady Smith said, greeting Jemima.
“Not at all, Lady Smith.” Jemima said, “The room is very comfortable.”
“That’s wonderful.” Lady Smith said, motioning her children forward. “Allow me to introduce the children.”
There were two little girls, both identical to the other, equally adorable. Twins! Jemima was unaware of this when she had accepted the offer. She was quite thrilled as this would make her job interesting.
“Eleanor and Eliza.” Lady Smith introduced them, “You’ll grow accustomed to them, eventually. Once you get to know them, it’s easier to distinguish.”
“I’m sure we’ll quite enjoy this, won’t we girls?” Jemima asked them, bending down to look into their eyes.
Eleanor and Eliza smiled, smitten with their new governess already. Jemima smiled back, feeling the same.
***
Her first day went by in a whirlwind. The girls were far more interested in stories about Jemima’s life in London than studying. She appeased them, sharing a few decent details. After having their desire to get to know her better fulfilled, they finally settled down enough to proceed with lessons. Jemima was in charge of tutoring the girls and grooming them into fine young women.
Jemima immersed herself in work, and soon the lesson finished. She still had a whole evening to pass before dinner after which she could sleep. She decided to finish unpacking her bags. Albeit a tedious task, she was soon finished settling her room. Deciding to go for a walk, Jemima entered the gardens.
Walking around smelling the different flowers, she remembered the walks the Duke and she would take back in Lancashire. It was during one of those walks when Jemima had realized her true feelings for him. She felt a bittersweet smile take over her face as she looked back on those days. It all seemed like a lifetime ago.
Sighing, she went back to the staff area deeming it useless to ponder over what might’ve been if the Duke reciprocated those feelings. Her life was here now, and there was nothing and no one to go back to.
Chapter 9
A Second Chance
J emima followed her routine viciously. She had settled in quite well in Rye and was excelling at her job. This was her third week here, and she felt at home. Upon the girls' insistence, they took most of their lessons in the garden.
Each morning Jemima would wake up, dress and head for breakfast. After breakfast she would meet the girls in the study and commence the lessons. They would break for luncheon and afterwards would meet again for music. She’d take a walk in the evening and then have dinner; after which she’d retire to her room and fall asleep weeping. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget Norfolk or cease to love him. All her efforts were futile, and her feelings didn’t lessen.
Nonetheless, she had found a friend in Mrs. King and that made her happy. Both women would sit and talk every night, religiously, over tea. She had confided the details of her past life to her, and Mrs. King had been very comforting. She had been working for the Smith House since she was a lady’s maid. She knew quite well how the ton could be sometimes, crude and indifferent. She had reassured Jemima that the Smith family was not like that and were very kind to their staff.
“They are good people with a strong moral ethic, Jemima dear.” She had said.
Mrs. King reminded Jemima a lot of her late Aunt Lucy. It was good to have a shoulder to lean on, especially now when she had to mend her broken heart.
Jemima’s second chance at life was turning out to be beautiful and far better than her previous life. She felt more independent and strong. Yes, she still loved Norfolk, but in the grand scheme of things was glad that he did not share those feelings. It would’ve been impossible for them to court each other or marry. They came from different parts of the world. He was royalty, and she was only a peasant. An impossible reunion.
***
At twelve years of age, Eleanor and Eliza were heading towards womanhood. They had many questions and sometimes they’d leave their governess blushing, unable to answer them. One day as the girls and Jemima sat and studied in the garden, Eleanor asked her a question.
“Miss Devine?” She asked innocently.
“Yes, Eleanor?” Jemima had perfected differentiating between the twins.
“Why did you never marry?” She asked.
Jemima could hear the grief in her voice as she answered,
“I didn’t find love.”
“Why did no one love you, Miss Devine? You are so pretty” Eliza asked, perplexed. Their governess was beautiful, and they refused to believe no one loved her.
“Maybe I haven’t found my Prince Charming just yet.” She answered lightly as the girls giggled.
“Will no one love us too?” Eleanor asked, pouting.
“Of course they will! How can they not?” Jemima said, acting appalled. “You are both so beautiful!”
That ended the subject but when night came, all Jemima could think was that maybe she was unworthy for ever lasting happiness.
***
An acquaintance of the family was visiting. From what little she had heard of him, Jemima only knew he had been in an accident recently while travelling and was coming here to get away from the city and recover. The
manor was being cleaned thoroughly, the furniture reset and the expensive china had been taken out and polished.
It was a Wednesday and, as scheduled, the girls would have riding lessons after breakfast instead of their class with Jemima. This allowed Jemima some free time to be alone with herself. The family guest had arrived yesterday, late in the night. She hadn’t met him yet and was quite intrigued who it could be. Mrs. King had mentioned he was from London and Jemima wondered if she knew them. She hoped it wouldn’t be someone that would recognize her and bring light onto what she was before she came here.
With an hour or so on her hand and no work, Jemima picked up her copy of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and went towards the garden. She went through the front pavement, crossing the stable. Inside the stable, she could see the horse of the guest carriage. It was a familiar breed, Norfolk had a horse quite like that one. Jemima brushed away that thought. There could be many horses that look like each other, all over the world.
She continued with her walk, reading her favorite passages from the play. The line ‘Out of her favor, where I am in love’ made her tear up. How right it was. She had fallen in love with Norfolk, a man who wouldn’t give her the light of day if not necessary. Their relationship had only established because he required her assistance. Which all turned into a waste with Sophia’s arrival. He should’ve just made Aunt Agatha meet Sophia. They could’ve pretended to be married.
Jemima smiled ruefully. A woman of Sophia’s status would never be involved in such foul play. It would be disrespectful for Norfolk to even suggest it. Alas, honorable women did not take part in such schemes. It was women like Jemima, left in the hands of cruelty that would take part in this. She had left, but after leaving had wondered many times how Aunt Agatha had reacted to the news. She must’ve thought Jemima had no honor or virtue. A dishonest, immoral woman.
It had hurt Jemima that Norfolk had not bothered himself enough to contact her. It was so easy for him to forget her and move on. It was just good business after all. Jemima thought about what would’ve happened if he had come to find her, even if just to give her the money she was promised. Jemima knew she would’ve refused to take it. But would she have spilled out her desires and love for him? Or would she put on a show, the best of her life?
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