Juliana felt a pang in her stomach when she heard this. Why did this make her jealous?
“So, it is possible to find someone who treats you awfully, attractive then?”
“I supposed.” Jasmine peered at her mistress. “What is bothering you, my lady?”
Juliana didn’t think she could say it out loud. She huffed and stood, starting to pace.
“Take a wild guess.”
It was a moment before Jasmine’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open.
“You mean you think you have feelings for the Earl of Gloucester?”
Chapter 7
Inadvertently
Falling in Love
Juliana winced. It sounded worse out loud than it did in her head. And it sounded embarrassing. She bit her lip and nodded.
“I think I do. And I don’t like it at all.”
Jasmine stood and went to her mistress. Juliana allowed her to hug her, grateful for the comfort from the petite woman.
“Oh, my lady. I…,” Jasmine drew back and shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything.” Juliana panicked at the thought of someone else outside of her room knowing about her foolish feelings. Especially Lady Edith. “Don’t tell my parents, the staff, and most importantly, don’t tell the earl or Lady Edith. I don’t want them to know about this at all.”
“Shouldn’t the earl know about this, though?” Jasmine asked. “You never know, he might find you attractive in return.”
“He’s getting married soon! He would laugh at the thought of one of the most uncouth women he knows having feelings for him.” Juliana gripped Jasmine’s arms. “Promise me, Jasmine, that you will not say anything to anyone. Not even Charles.”
“I promise, my lady,” Jasmine nodded. “I’ll do as you say. I’m your servant, remember?”
“Thank you.” Juliana hugged her maid tightly before stepping back, rubbing her hands over her face. “This is just embarrassing.”
“My lady, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. We can’t control what we feel.” Jasmine shrugged, “Close quarters for a long period of time is going to start something.”
“But why with him?”
Jasmine sighed.
“We don’t get to pick who we fall for.”
Juliana had no response to that.
***
The doctor straightened up and beamed at Gloucester.
“I must say, Lord Gloucester, I’m impressed. Your leg is healing nicely. I’m pleased you kept your weight off it.” He gathered the bandages he had taken off Gloucester’s leg. “You won’t need to have all these bandages now, but you will need it to be dressed so it can be kept clean.”
“That’s fine.” Gloucester was relieved about that. “Those bandages were making me itch.”
“That can happen.” The doctor put the bandages on a tray Jasmine the maid was holding. “How does your leg feel?”
“Throbbing, but not as bad as before.” Gloucester looked over at Edith, who was standing by the bed. She looked very regal but Gloucester couldn’t feel anything for her. “Does this mean I’m well enough to go home?”
“Providing you rest properly when you’re home, yes. I’d say you could leave today, if you like.”
Edith let out a sigh of relief, her hand going to Gloucester’s shoulder.
“Oh, thank goodness.”
Gloucester couldn’t agree more. While he was suddenly feeling sad about leaving, it would be good to go home and recuperate on his own. He gave the doctor a nod.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll let Lord Boyd know the good news.” The doctor smiled and beckoned Jasmine towards the door. “Take care, my lord. Make sure your own doctor takes a look at your leg when you return home.”
“I will do.”
The doctor bowed and left, closing the door behind him. As the door shut, Edith let out a relieved sigh and sat on the bed, kissing Gloucester’s cheek.
“I’m so glad you’re feeling better.”
“Not completely better.” Gloucester gritted his teeth as Edith laid a hand on his knee, right near his wound. “Just well enough to go home. And could you get your hand off me, please!”
Edith drew her hand back like she had been scalded. She sniffed and stood with a flourish, brushing down her skirts.
“Forgive me. I didn’t realize it was causing you pain.”
“It’s going to be awhile before I stop feeling any pain.” Gloucester knew he was in for a long ride if Edith was starting to turn into a sulking child. He took her hand. “Forgive me if I offend you, Edith. I’m not completely better but it won’t take long.”
“I hope not,” Edith snorted. “I don’t want you limping down the aisle like this.” She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I’ll get the coach brought around and the maids can pack my things. We’ve got a lot to do.”
“I don’t understand why you unpacked everything when you’ve only been here two days.”
Edith bristled.
“A girl needs all the clothes she has, even if it’s for a short period. You can never be unprepared that way.”
Then she swept out. Gloucester was beginning to wonder what he saw in her. A woman did not need to take her entire wardrobe with her. Fair enough, she had been in Ireland for a long time, but she didn’t need to unpack everything at the Boyd’s estate. But there was no arguing with Edith when it came to fashion; she wore whatever she wanted even if she changed her outfit halfway through a ball.
Gloucester had always liked how she could make people’s heads turn. Now he was beginning to wonder if it had been in a good way.
There was a gentle tap at the door. Gloucester tossed the bedding over his leg and adjusted the sheets.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Juliana came in. Her dark hair was loose about her shoulders and she looked very elegant in a pale green dress. Gloucester felt his chest tighten when he saw her. The woman made unconventional look like stunning beauty.
But her face was pale and her eyes were tinged red. Had she been crying? Gloucester sat up.
“Are you well, Lady Juliana?”
“I’m perfectly well.” Juliana rubbed at her eyes. “A fly flew into my eye and it took a while to get it out.”
Gloucester wasn’t sure he believed that but he let it go. If Juliana wanted to tell him something, she would. He wouldn’t push her.
Juliana approached the bed slowly, giving him a slight smile. It didn’t quite reach her sad eyes.
“Sounds like the doctor’s letting you leave.”
“Yes.” Gloucester raised an eyebrow, “Sad to see me go?”
“A little.” Juliana flushed, but she carried on. “But mainly relieved. It means you’re recovering well and no thanks to me.”
“But thanks to you, I am able to go home.” Gloucester spread his hands, “You did nurse me.”
“Under duress.”
“And I’m still grateful for it.” Gloucester chuckled, “Even if I’m still annoyed you shot me.”
Juliana’s smile widened and her eyes glinted. Now she looked more like her former self.
“Just make sure you take care when you’re out riding in the future. You never know who’s out there.”
“I’ll remember that.” Gloucester realized he was staring at her like a fool and coughed. “I…I’ll let you know when I’m better. We can have a shootout.”
Juliana threw back her head and laughed.
“That will be too easy. I’ll wipe the floor with you.”
“Want to try it?”
“You’re on.” Then Juliana’s smile died away, and she looked away, glancing towards the door. “I’d better go. Lady Edith won’t be happy if she finds me here.”
“You were my nurse. She can’t be upset about it?”
Juliana sighed.
“She confronted me earlier. Thinks that I’m trying to make some designs on you.”
That had Gloucester staring. Ju
liana Boyd making designs on him. It was almost ridiculous. She wouldn’t look at him beyond vague contempt in a million years. But the thought seemed to settle in his mind. Would he object if Juliana did have some affection for him? Would he allow it if he were single?
Yes. Yes, he would.
“I told her to stop believing fantasies.” Juliana sniffed and scowled. “I won’t marry an arrogant stuffed-up shirt.”
Gloucester chuckled. He couldn’t argue with that.
“Of course you won’t,” he teased. “I wouldn’t last five minutes.”
They stared at each other. Was something passing between them? Did Juliana look more teary-eyed? Before Gloucester could figure out what was happening, she was curtsying hurriedly and turning away.
“Safe journey home, my lord.”
“Lady Juliana…”
But she was already gone, closing the door behind her.
***
The next few days passed very slowly. Juliana felt sluggish. She couldn’t bring herself to enjoy her usual activities. Even knitting, which normally calmed her, was not working. Juliana just couldn’t settle her mind.
The Earl of Gloucester had a lot to answer for. He had completely turned her world upside-down. Juliana shouldn’t be feeling anything but contempt towards the man—he had ended up getting shot and blamed her for everything and she had been forced to nurse him—but the feelings directed at the now absent man were certainly not contempt. It was more affection, compassion.
Love?
Juliana hoped not. That wasn’t good. She couldn’t fall in love with a man like him. They were completely mismatched, both in temperament and their behavior towards life. He was a snob, preferring the rich and lazy lifestyle. Juliana was a more hands-on person. They both had tempers that didn’t match at all. Married life to him would be…
Very interesting.
Chapter 8
Strong Denial
After three days of wandering around the house, trying to find something to do, Juliana headed outside. It was a lovely day, so maybe a walk in the garden would help her. Changing into her men’s apparel, Juliana headed out. Jasmine followed her to the terrace.
“Is there anything you would for me to fetch for you, my lady?” she asked.
Juliana gave her maid a wan smile.
“No, thank you, Jasmine. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure, my lady?”
“I’m sure.”
Juliana wasn’t sure, but she did know she just wanted to be on her own. While Jasmine was good company and allowed Juliana to cry on her shoulder, Juliana just wanted to be on her own. It was embarrassing confessing her feelings for an insufferable earl to a member of the household, but it was even worse when the feelings wouldn’t leave her alone.
Juliana didn’t like being like this.
She went for a walk in the gardens, ducking in between the trees until she came to the orchard. Apples were becoming ripe and ready for picking. It used to be Juliana’s favorite place when she was a child, somewhere she could run around and swing from the branches before climbing as high as she could. The servants would let her help pick the apples, which tasted delicious.
Juliana wished she could go back to being a child. Things were a lot easier back then.
“Juliana.”
Juliana turned. Mabel was coming through the orchard, ducking her head beneath the low branches. She plucked two apples off a nearby tree and approached her daughter with a gentle smile. Juliana was confused. Her mother didn’t come out here; she didn’t like the orchard.
“Mother? I thought you were having your nap.”
“I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d go for a walk.”
“In the orchard? You hate this place.”
Mabel gave her a smile before handing one apple to her daughter.
“There are a lot of things you get used to over time. I tolerate it now.”
Juliana didn’t doubt it. Her father loved this place but Mabel didn’t. But she loved her husband, so she didn’t argue about it. It was really quite sweet.
“Besides, I couldn’t stop thinking.” Mabel took a bite of her apple. “I was worried.”
“What were you worried about?”
“You.”
Juliana blinked.
“Why would you be worried about me, Mother? I’m perfectly well.”
But Mabel was shaking her head, munching on her bite.
“You’re not well and you know it. I’ve not seen you like this before, Juliana. All the life seems to have gone out of you.”
Juliana gave a dry laugh.
“You always did say I needed to grow up and start acting like a lady.”
“But now your spirit’s gone, I miss it.”
Juliana sighed and tossed her apple from hand to hand. This wasn’t something she wanted to discuss with her mother. It was tough enough to admit to herself.
“Maybe I’m coming down with something.”
“It’s more than that.” Mabel was giving her a hard look. “You’ve been like this since the Earl of Gloucester left.”
Juliana stiffened. She didn’t want to talk about the man. He was off-limits, as far as her mother was concerned. Mabel Boyd would either end up lecturing Juliana about thinking about a man so close to being married to a lady of high Society, or cry and try to fix it so her daughter was happy.
Juliana wouldn’t be happy with any of that. She just wanted this subject to be left well alone. She turned away, tossing the apple faster between her hands.
“This is nothing to do with him, Mother.”
Mabel snorted, taking another bite of her apple.
“You can tell yourself that as much as you like,” she said around a mouthful, “but your father and I know different.”
“You and Father believe this is something to do with the earl?”
“Your attitude has completely changed since his visit here.”
Juliana snorted.
“I wouldn’t call it a visit.”
“Well, whatever you call it, you had more life in you after you left his room, or you knew you were going to take his meal tray up. It was like you were looking forward to seeing the man despite your grievances about him. And now you’re not interested in talking to anyone, even your father, and you two are close.”
Juliana knew her withdrawal wouldn’t go unnoticed, but she was surprised it took this long for her parents to approach her about it. Then again, she did lock herself away a lot of the time with only Jasmine for company. Juliana tossed the apple onto the ground and swung under a low branch, making the tree shake.
“I just don’t have any desire to be sociable with anyone,” she said, keeping her eyes averted. “The earl wore me out with his complaints and arrogant remarks towards me.”
“And you enjoyed them.”
“No, I didn’t.” Juliana was aware her face was going red and kept herself within the shade of the trees. “I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve, Mother, but I’m not going to play along. Stop being vague and tell me outright what you think is wrong with me. That hasn’t stopped you before.”
Mabel raised her eyebrows.
“You would rather I tell you outright what I think is wrong?”
“Yes. I prefer it to talking in riddles.”
“All right then.” Mabel swallowed her mouthful and looked smug. “You’re lovesick.”
Juliana felt like she had been slapped in the face. Now she was regretting asking her mother for complete honesty.
“Lovesick? With him?” She barked out a laugh. “I think you need to try for that nap; you’re going mad.”
“I recognize the signs, darling. I was much like you are now when I met your father and I had to leave him, even for a day. I moped around until I saw him again. He made me smile, made me feel beautiful, wanted…,” Mabel shrugged. “You’re doing much the same thing.”
“No, I am not.” That didn’t sound convincing even to Juliana’s ears. She came out from under the t
ree and scowled at her mother. “And I would kindly ask if you would not talk about that man again. I do not wish to discuss that…I don’t even know what to call him!”
“I do.” Mabel gave her a knowing look. “An engaged man.”
“Mother!”
Juliana turned away and smacked a tree branch as she stormed away. Why did no one seem to be listening to her?
***
Gloucester took careful aim and fired. But his shot was wide of the mark. Very wide. It didn’t even make a scratch on the target. Norfolk, who had been looking through the field glass at the targets, lowered it in surprise, raising his eyebrows at his friend.
“You missed again?”
Gloucester growled. It was the fifth shot he had missed that morning. When Norfolk had suggested going out into his estate and shooting at some targets, he was all for it. Gloucester needed something to focus on—God only knew his mind hadn’t been on things they should—but it wasn’t happening. At all.
“I’m just tired.” He limped back to the table his footmen had laid out, placing the rifle on the tabletop. “My leg is still bothering me.”
“Two months later?” Norfolk’s expression said he didn’t believe him at all. “Really?”
“Yes.” Gloucester glared at him. “Why is that so difficult to believe?”
“I don’t know.” Norfolk put down the field glasses and picked up his own rifle, checking it over before he went to the firing line. “Maybe it’s something to do with your behavior lately.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You never do.”
Norfolk took aim at his target and fired, his shot just missing the bulls-eye. Gloucester leaned against the table—his leg wouldn’t let him stand up for a long period—and scowled. It had been two months since he had been laid up and things were better. His leg was practically healed. Besides the scar, the only evidence that he had been shot was a slight limp. That limp was nearly gone, but the pain was still there, itching as if it was reminding him of what had happened.
As if Gloucester could forget those two weeks. It was clearly imprinted in his mind. Those memories kept going over and over in his head and Gloucester couldn’t shake them.
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