“I’m fine.”
Newark realizes that he answer was far too quick. He had known what Selina was talking about; in particular his behavior around the crowds.
“You don’t like gatherings like this, do you?”
How did she know? They had very limited conversations, and yet she understood him. Newark chose his words carefully; he didn’t want to sound like a fool.
“I’m not comfortable with these situations.”
“Situations?”
“What would you call it, then?”
Selina chuckled.
“A nightmare.”
Newark blinked.
“You don’t like these things, either?”
“No, I do not.” Selina gave the people behind them a barely concealed scowled. “I’m not of the same class, and everyone seems to know it. That creates an awkward evening. Patty knows I don’t like coming to these, but she still insisted I attend.”
“Same with Mr. Batten. He said I needed to develop confidence.”
Selina raised an eyebrow.
“Is it working?”
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
They shared a smile. Something sweet had happened, and Newark wanted to experience that feeling again.
But he could see the strain coming back into Selina’s eyes. She was holding herself together when she wanted to run. Newark didn’t want to see her struggle and touched her shoulder.
“Do you want to go home?”
Selina nodded.
“Please.”
***
They nearly made it out the door before Henry caught sight of them and cornered them both. He was sympathetic to Selina’s request to leave and agreed to take her home. Newark protested, but Henry was insistent, telling his younger friend he needed to stay, get confidence and stop running away. Blushing to his ears, Newark hurried off before Henry could urge him further. Henry escorted Selina out to his carriage.
For an odd reason, Selina felt bereft when Newark left. She wanted him to stay with her and see if they could talk more. Although Selina appreciated Henry’s caring nature, she wanted to see Newark again.
She didn’t know what to think. As they went back to Henry’s manor, Selina couldn’t help but wonder why she was feeling attracted to Newark. They had said few words to each other, and he always kept his distance. It was making her dizzy trying to sort out her feelings for the mysterious Earl Newark.
And she didn’t like the feeling.
Henry escorted her to her room and left her to go back to his study. Selina undressed and got into her nightgown. Then she picked up her book and settled in bed. She tried to read, but the words ran together. It wasn’t helping, and Selina had to put it aside in frustration.
Attempts to sleep were futile. Selina couldn’t get comfortable. She rolled around, the bedclothes tangling up in her legs, trying to find a position that worked.
Someone knocked quietly on the door. She sat up as it opened and Patricia peeked in.
“Selina, are you awake?”
Selina smiled and sat up further.
“Patty.”
Patricia closed the door behind her before crossing to the bed.
“Uncle Henry said you’re ill.” She took Selina’s outstretched hand as she sat on the bed. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m better now.” Selina managed a smile. “The crowds were bothering me.”
“I understand.” Patricia grinned. “I hear Newark was planning on taking you home.”
Selina nodded.
“He was going to, but Henry caught us before we could leave. Said he was leaving himself and would take me home.”
That may have been true enough, however in retrospect without a proper chaperone it may well have created a scandal. Selina wished Henry hadn’t interfered. Something had happened with Earl Newark. He seemed to have softened towards her and yet their time together felt interrupted.
Selina wanted to see Newark again. She knew there was something inside him that others could not fathom.
“Well, Newark seemed to enjoy himself.” Patricia sighed, a wistful look passing over her face. “He danced with me all evening.”
“You don’t say?”
That surprised Selina. Newark hated dancing. Why would he dance all evening when he didn’t like it?
“Perhaps not all evening but he danced with me the most.” Patricia giggled. “He’s not the most amazing of dancers, but he is very attentive.”
Selina felt confused. It seemed like everyone saw one side of the earl, but she was seeing someone else. Which one was the real one?
“I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy yourself.” Patricia looked a little concerned. “I wish I’d never taken you now. If you weren’t feeling well…”
“Don’t concern yourself with it.” Selina squeezed her hand. “These things happen.”
Patricia laughed and leaned over, kissing Selina’s cheek.
“That’s my girl. You’re such a nice person.”
“Sometimes I’m too nice.”
Patricia shrugged.
“I don’t believe you can ever be too nice.”
Chapter 6
Still Attempting
S elina gasped and grabbed tighter onto the reins as the horse whinnied and moved too fast for her liking. Patricia trotted up beside her.
“Are you feeling well, Selina?”
“Yes, I’ll manage,” Selina forced a smile and a shrug. “I’m just not accustomed to riding horses.”
Over breakfast that morning, Patricia and Henry had suggested a ride around the estate. To Selina’s surprise, Newark also asked to come along, something that Patricia eagerly agreed to. Selina also agreed when Henry asked her as she saw it as a chance to find out more about Newark.
Henry remembered that she wasn’t comfortable with horses and gave her a gray mare called Dusty Star, an animal he said was placid and perfect for her.
Dusty Star may have been docile, in Henry’s eyes, but she didn’t seem to be with Selina. Selina worried if she did something wrong she would get thrown off and end up on the ground. The mare was agitated. Selina didn’t know the reason, but she was not relaxed.
Henry trotted up on her other side as Dusty Star whinnied and tried to move away. Henry shook his head.
“If I’d known Dusty Star would’ve been skittish today, I wouldn’t have let you ride her.”
Selina gritted her teeth as she saw Henry negotiate his own horse with a flick of his wrists. Everyone else was riding fine. Patricia seemed like she was born in the saddle, and Henry could control his huge stallion and keep him under control. Even Newark was riding well, looking like he was very comfortable sitting astride a white stallion. Selina wished she could be as graceful as they were. She hid her frustration and smiled.
“Don’t be silly. It’s a lovely day, and I would not waste time indoors.”
However, if Selina had known she would have such a bad time with this horse, she would’ve gladly stayed at the house. It was beautiful walking around the gardens this time of year. Instead, she was on an animal that refused to listen to her, and it was getting embarrassing.
“Come on, Uncle Henry!” Patricia squealed, kicking her horse into motion. “I’ll race you home. Selina can catch up.”
She bolted away, Henry edging his horse into a swift canter before the stallion moved into a gallop. Selina felt Dusty Star want to move after them and gripped the reins, hoping she wouldn’t be thrown. Dusty Star whinnied and bucked. Selina clutched on for dear life and somehow stayed on.
Another set of hooves pounded on the ground, and Selina felt before she saw Earl Newark pull up alongside her. He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Need any help?”
“I don’t…” Selina felt her cheeks burning and looked away. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Selina wondered if he was about to laugh at her.
Newark leaned over and grabbed hold of the reins, making Dusty Star stop.<
br />
“Get off.”
“What?”
“Get off your horse.”
Selina hadn’t heard him speak like this before. It sent a shiver down her back. And his order made her slip off her horse and stand beside Dusty Star. Newark alighted and came round to her side. He took her hand and almost pulled her back to his horse.
“Now, I will help you onto my horse.”
Selina turned to him. He was standing close, almost too close.
“Why?”
“Because I will walk the horses. It’s quite a distance back to the estate.” Newark raised an eyebrow. “I can manage it but can you?”
Selina debated it. Her choice was to ride all the way back on his horse or walk. There was no argument about it.
***
“Why are you so hostile towards me?”
Newark had been so focused on walking his tired muscles he almost didn’t hear Selina’s question. He looked back at her, seeing her sit upon his horse almost like a regal princess. “Pardon me?”
“Your attitude towards me seems to alternate.” Selina was looking everywhere but him. “First dinner together you barely talk. You didn’t even look at me. The night of the ball you spoke but only because I was pushed upon you. Now you’re back to how you acted when we first met.” She bit her lip. “Have I offended you?”
Newark turned away but stopped, closing his eyes with a sigh. He wished he had confidence. If he had been more honest, his relationship with Selina would be different by now. But, instead, he had portrayed himself as indifferent.
He berated himself for his weakness.
“Did I upset you?” Selina challenged. “Is it because I’m from a lower class? Is that the reason?”
Newark fought back the panic. This wasn’t progressing the way he had intended.
“It’s nothing to do with your class.” He sighed and walked again. “I’m not great at talking to women; if you must know, they scare me.”
“I scare you?” Selina laughed. It wasn’t a woman’s giggle; a full-blown laugh. “I’ve been called a lot of things but never scary.”
“I’ve been like this since I was a child. My mother was the same. As a result, it makes it difficult to talk to people, especially women.” Newark’s hand gripped tighter in the reins. “A lot of them teased me when I was younger.”
Selina snorted.
“I heard if someone teases you it means they care for you. I never understood that myself.”
“Neither did I.” Newark glanced back up at her and tried to give her a smile. “But you have done nothing to upset me, Selina, I assure you.”
“You manage with Patricia.”
“I knew Patricia before, and I can handle her.” Newark paused. “Besides, she’s too brash for me.”
Selina laughed again.
“You could say that.” Her laughter died away, and she gave him a look that Newark couldn’t quite interpret. “But, in future, could you not be so unkind, please? I keep thinking I’ve done something wrong and that upsets me.”
Newark could feel himself blushing. This was not going well. He needed to remedy things before Selina was running the other way.
“I’m sorry, and I offer you my sincerest apologies.” He slowed a little until the horse was level with him and patted the horse’s neck. “I’ll let you know now. You have done nothing wrong so please don’t belittle yourself. You couldn’t do anything wrong in my eyes.”
The small smile that Selina gave him when he looked up at her made Newark feel like he was ten feet tall. She leaned over and touched his shoulder.
“Thank you, that was very sweet.”
That gesture nearly had Newark falling flat on his face. But he caught himself and hurried forward, tugging both horses behind him.
Chapter 7
The Impending
Announcement
S elina kept out of Newark’s way for the next two days. Since their walk back and their new understanding, Newark now was doing his best to talk to her. Going from almost completely ignoring her to the other extreme of giving her too much attention, was a little unnerving for Selina.
Patricia, however, was lapping it up. Newark ensured protocol was followed to avoid possible scandal. There was always someone else with them, and it invariably seemed to be Patricia. Now Patricia thought Newark was paying her a lot of attention and whenever Newark tried to talk to Selina for over two minutes, Patricia intervened. From the look on Newark’s face, he was clearly annoyed, but he said nothing.
Selina didn’t know what was going on and she wanted to keep her distance. Whatever Newark was trying to broach between them should never be happening. What were his intentions? After all, they weren’t of the same class. If Newark was considering a clandestine relationship, Selina would not come out of it well. It was upsetting to her that the lower classes never did.
So Selina went on many walks. Sometimes she didn’t say where she was going and often she would change the route so she wouldn’t be followed. Keeping her distance was much more agreeable than seeing Patricia flirt with Newark; especially considering she believed he was, in turn, flirting with her.
It was on one of these walks that Selina came across Eleanor Buxton, the buxom woman walking along with a brisk stride that belied her weight. She looked better suited to sitting with her feet up rather than walking. She did, however, have a healthy rosy glow from her efforts.
The woman, despite being a gossip, was very healthy.
Selina tried to backtrack before Eleanor saw her but it was too late. Eleanor smiled and waved.
“Selina, dear. Nice to see you again. You out for a walk as well?”
She shrugged.
“You could say that.”
Eleanor beamed and beckoned her over.
“Walk with me?”
Selina didn’t see herself avoiding this without appearing rude. If she was honest, Eleanor wasn’t a bad person; but she loved to gossip.
She fell into step beside the woman. They made their way up a hill before Eleanor spoke.
“How are things up at the hall? I hear it is very interesting there right now.”
“Interesting?”
“Well, things between Earl Newark and Patricia Batten.” Eleanor winked. “I hear there are wedding bells soon.”
Selina paused. She didn’t like marriage for Newark and Patricia, whether true or not, and she most certainly did not want to share any of her feelings with Eleanor Buxton.
She plucked a long blade of grass and fiddled with it between her fingers.
“I have heard nothing about it.”
Eleanor raised her eyebrows. “I thought you and Patricia were close.”
“We are. But Eleanor doesn’t share everything with me.” Selina kept her eyes to the ground. “If there was anything regarding marriage I haven’t heard about it. And I don’t gossip about my friends.”
She could feel the startled silence coming from the other woman. But Selina didn’t look around; she would not fuel the fire, especially when this was making her feel sick.
“My apologies,” Eleanor whispered. “When I heard about it I found it rather confusing.”
“Confusing?”
“Yes. When we were at dinner with you the other week, Newark kept looking over and stealing glances at you.” Selina glanced over to see Eleanor smirking. “He thought he wasn’t seen, but I saw him.”
Selina looked away. This was bait, it had to be. Newark hadn’t looked at her the entire evening; she was sure of it.
“Patricia was sitting next to me. Maybe he was looking at her.”
“Oh, no, it was you,” Eleanor said. Then she sighed and spoke briskly. “But, maybe you’re right. It would be Patricia since she’s a better match.”
Selina felt the anger rising. Knowing deep inside that nothing could happen between her and Newark, if there was anything, because of their social backgrounds was one thing, but to have it said out loud was something else.
She stop
ped and turned to Eleanor, who slowed when she realized Selina wasn’t walking beside her.
“Social class and love rarely go together.”
“I wasn’t saying that.”
Now the woman was backtracking since she realized she had said the wrong thing.
“You were saying it would be better to marry Patricia instead of me because she’s a similar class.” Selina kept her voice level, but she was shaking. She clasped her hands tighter together. “I don’t mean to be rude, Mrs. Buxton, but if you were planning on finding out something about Patricia by insulting me, it’s not working. I know you’re Mr. Batten’s friend, but I don’t want to get involved if there’s anything at all happening between Newark and Patricia.”
Eleanor looked startled. She fumbled for her words, but Selina was already walking away on a separate path down the hill, sure that the woman wouldn’t follow.
“I’m taking my leave and going this way.” She called over her shoulder. “Good day, Mrs. Buxton.”
***
Newark was getting frustrated. He felt stymied in his attempts to get to know Selina better. Every time he started a meaningful conversation, Patricia would intervene.
Aware of Selina’s reputation, Newark always ensured that someone else was always in the room with them. Inevitably, Patricia was there with Selina. That was fair since the girls were friends, but Patricia kept talking over them and bringing the conversation back to herself. It was getting on Newark’s nerves.
He liked Patricia, but this was not what he wanted. Henry kept telling him to stop being so ridiculous and tell Patricia to be quiet, but Newark was too polite.
Now Selina was avoiding him. Newark was bothered by her disinterest but didn’t know how to get her attention.
He hastily suggested to Selina that they go for a walk. He intended to go with her alone, but as soon as Patricia heard about it over breakfast, she was eagerly preparing their route, believing she was coming, too. Newark tried to protest, but Selina said she would like to have Patricia along.
Selina was walking on ahead, putting distance between them. Newark stared at her. There was a quiet grace about her he couldn’t pull away from. She seemed to draw him in.
Patricia sighed and nudged him as they walked, her hand tucked under his arm.
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