by Mary Smith
Coach Long is shouting out plays, but I’m standing here not listening. Fuck, I hate being here anymore. Every day I wake up, I almost pray I’m cut. Okay, maybe not cut, but something different has to happen. Hockey isn’t my love and I really need to reevaluate my life.
I stiffen. Reevaluation? Yes, I need to set different goals. I have a daughter to think about and I’m over hockey. This isn’t fair to the Bears or me. Being on the ice had been fun, but now it’s a job and one I don’t like anymore.
“Hey, Teo, are you listening?” Coach yells at me.
I shake my head. “Sorry.” I apologize.
He glares at me but doesn’t say anything else. He continues going over the play, and again, I tune him out. It’s not like I’m going to be playing a lot this season. Nathan’s the star goalie. He should be. He’s worked hard for this spot and paid a lot of dues to get here. I like Nathan. He’s a good guy and lives for hockey.
As practice continues I barely pay attention. I have a million ideas running through my head. Even though the season is just beginning it won’t give me much time to restart my life. I turn to my left and I’m startled to see Nova, Oliver, Janan, and Liam all sitting in the stands. Nova has a bright smile on her face, laughing at Liam.
She looks happy.
I wonder if she was happy with me. I mean, really happy. I think I’m a good guy, but then again women can be horrible people. I know firsthand and I did think Nova was different. Obviously, they’re all the same.
Finally, Coach Long blows the whistle and we skate off. My eye contact remains on Nova as Liam stands and takes her hand, helping her up the stairs. He moves his hand to the small of her back, and I watch her turn with a redness on her cheeks. She would always blush with me. The first time we had sex I thought she would almost explode.
“Teo!” Nathan pushes on my shoulder. “Are you coming?”
I nod and follow him. I have a meeting with Oliver and Connor Phillips about my contract. Oliver is pretty much the only owner I’ve played for who is at every meeting involving contracts. The first time it had been a little nerve-racking but knowing Oliver now it shouldn’t be too bad. Especially with the bombshell I’m about to drop.
I quickly shower and change before running over to the offices. I’ve never had an agent like other players. I found them to be a waste of time. I know what I want and am able to articulate it. Negotiations aren’t as bad as some make them out to be. I understand the business side of it as well as my side. The Bears, or any business, want the best, brightest, and smartest players for the most minimal price tag. On the other side, the players–myself included–want top dollar for these skills. This is why negotiations are important. Both sides need to find the happy medium.
“Um...hi.” I’m suddenly very confused on the female sitting behind Nova’s desk. It’s an older woman with dyed blonde hair and a bit overdone makeup.
“You must be Teo Elgin. I’m Franceen, Oliver’s new assistant.”
“Oh.” I’m about to ask about Nova but stop. “I’m here for—”
“Your appointment. I know.” She smiles brightly with extremely fake teeth. “Go right in. Everyone is waiting for you.”
“Thanks.” I stroll over to the already partially opened door. I’m stunned to see Oliver, Conner, Janan, and Nova all sitting around the table.
“Teo.” Oliver stands and comes over to me. He shakes my hand and guides me to the table to sit across from Nova and him. “How was practice?”
“Fine,” I simply state and glance at Nova.
She is beautiful. I’m not sure if I like her darker hair color or the short cut. I love her long hair. I do miss her curves. No, I don’t miss anything.
“Teo, let’s begin.” Connor hands me the contract along with Janan and Nova.
“Okay, I have to ask, why are you two here?” I point to the girls. “And I thought Nova was your assistant?” I’m over being kept in the dark and Nova seems to be the queen of secrets.
“I’m still his assistant. Franceen is mainly going to be my assistant.” Nova explains.
“And the reason we’re here, Mr. Snippy, is because Uncle Oliver is going to be handing over the Bears to Nova and me. We’re learning the business.” Janan clarifies.
I feel my eyes widen and look dead at Nova. “You? You own the Bears?” This isn’t happening.
“Someday.” She clears her throat and sits taller. “Uncle Oliver is giving me half of the Bears and also the Rams.”
“I will get the other half of the Bears and the Cats. Klara will get the Tigers.” Janan finishes and Nova glares at her.
“You gave a four month old a minor league hockey team?” Oliver shrugs at my question. “When were you going to tell me?” I direct the question to Nova.
“He’s not handed anything over.” Nova points to him. “He’s right here. We’re just learning the ropes.”
“Nova more than me because I’m still in school.” Janan adds.
My mouth hangs open. More secrets. More secrets which could affect my life. My daughter is going to own a sports team and she can’t walk yet. I quickly think of how I should handle this. I need to have a say in this. Klara is mine.
“We’ll discuss it later,” Nova states and looks over at Conner.
“Right.” Conner clears his throat and begins to go over the contract.
My eyes haven’t left Nova and I know she can feel my glare on her. She’s trying her hardest not to look up. Even puts her hand up shielding her eyes. I’m not listening to a single word Conner says. I’m done with it all. Hockey. The lies. All of it.
“Stop.” I point my hand up cutting off his words. “There’s no reason to go over this contract.”
“Have you had another offer?” Oliver asks.
“No.” I shake my head. “My goals and life have changed, and it’s time I do something for me. It’s time for me to be selfish.”
Nova’s beautiful eyes stare at me.
“When my contract ends this season, I am done with hockey.”
“What?” The entire table says at once.
“Why?” Nova breathes out.
“It’s not fun anymore. It’s more of a hassle to me, and I want to be there more for Klara.”
Nova doesn’t speak. In fact, no one says anything...until Janan gasps.
“Oh my God, you’re going to take Klara, aren’t you?”
I roll my eyes. “If it was my intention, I wouldn’t lie about it, like others in this room.” My glare is tight on Nova, whose face turns bright red.
“Hey, back off, Teo.” Janan slams her hand on the table and jumps up. “Back off of my cousin. She’s an amazing person and an even better mother. You’re a damn fool if you try to take Klara from her.”
“Janan.” Oliver’s voice booms. “Sit down.”
Janan’s eyes narrow, but she does sit back down.
“Conner, leave us.” Oliver orders and the general manager rushes out. “Teo, talk to me.”
I face him.
“Tell me what’s really going on. Are you planning on pursuing a custody battle?”
“Yes,” I tell him truthfully. One of my goals is to make sure I have as much presence in Klara’s life as Nova. I’m her father. I have a say. Missing the first four months is Nova’s fault, but I will make up for it.
Nova covers her face and begins to sob. I can’t lie in saying I hate to see her cry, but this is necessary for us both and especially Klara.
“Janan, take Nova home,” Oliver says and Janan has to practically carry Nova out of the office. I hang my head as not to watch the scene. “Teo.”
“Yea?” I keep looking at the contract in front of me, but it’s only to keep my eyes away from Oliver.
“Let’s talk man-to-man.”
I raise my head. Oliver’s pissed. I can see it in his eyes. He could chew me up and spit me out without even thinking twice about it. “Okay.” My nerves are rattled, but this is for Klara.
“I know you love your daughter
. I can see it. I know Nova lied, and it’s an unforgivable lie but put yourself in her shoes for a moment. This is her daughter as well. She cares and loves her as much as you do. Not to mention, Klara adores her mother. Do you really think it’s a good idea to rip her from the one person she clings to the most?”
I remain quiet. I understand his point. I get it and I will agree Nova is an excellent mother. It’s easy to see the admiration Klara has for her.
“You have rights to Klara. I believe you should be part of her life twenty-four hours a day, but since you and Nova aren’t together you have to share Klara. You don’t want her to grow up resenting you because you took her away from her mother.”
I glance away. Another valid point.
“Think about this before I change the topic. Wouldn’t you want Klara to have two loving parents who are civil to each other or two parents who are bitter and hateful to each other? How would it look for you and for Nova?”
He keeps saying everything that makes sense.
“Now, why are you leaving hockey?”
I don’t answer him right away. I’m not sure if I will tell him the truth or tell him it’s none of his business. Oliver seems like a logical man though. I know he loves Nova and Janan as if they were his own daughters. Plus it helps he is the greatest businessman. “If I tell you, will it stay between us?”
He nods. “You have my word.”
I lay out the plan I figured out during practice. I explain how I have nothing etched out in stone as of yet, but I’m going to begin working on it right away. I tell him how I believe this is the perfect time for me to follow my dream of becoming an architect. I’m still young enough for big firms to want to train me. I know it’s a long shot, but I believe I can do it. Plus, I have money saved up since I’m pretty frugal. I know it’ll help get my foot in the door.
He listens intently to me and when I finish he stands and strolls over to his desk. He types on his computer for a moment before writing something on a post-it. “Here,” he says bringing the yellow square piece of paper to me. “Call him.”
I take it from him. “What’s this?”
“His name is Buck of DGQ Corp.”
“What? As in Buck Quinton?” He’s one of the top up and coming architects. “You know him?”
“I do. I will send him an email letting him know you’ll be calling. He’ll give you a helping hand.”
“But why? Why are you giving me this?”
“Because you’re family. Not only are you a Bear, but you’re the father of my great goddaughter. I always help out family.”
I swallow back the forming lump in my throat. No one has ever really helped me out. My parents put up with me, but once I was of age, our relationship–or lack thereof–ended. I don’t want to be part of their lives, especially Mom and my sister.
“If you need anything else let me know.” Oliver holds out his hand.
I stand and shake it. “Thank you.”
“You do have to finish the season though.” He points out and I nod.
“I promise I will.”
I DON’T GO back to my place. I drive around aimlessly. I end up at a taco stand and grab a bite to eat. I sit in my car and think about everything–especially Klara.
I didn’t have a great childhood. Yes, I had stuff. Father gave me everything, mainly to keep me quiet and away from him. Mother is different. She could care less about me. Ellen is just like them. When I told my parents I was going to play hockey and study architecture instead of going to medical school, they were livid with me. I didn’t care. I knew I could be the best goalie in the PHL, and we all stopped talking afterward. I spent the holidays by myself or with other teammates. In the off season I would go home but never saw them. I had told Nova all of this. She doesn’t know why I think all women are evil. Telling her would mean reliving some painful memories and I’m not ready for it.
Nova had confessed her childhood to me as well. The neglect I can relate with but not the abuse. My parents never hit me, nor did Ellen. Apparently, Nova, Janan, and Coach Long went through a horrible ordeal with Sharon, Coach’s wife. She relived her broken bones, the scars from the numerous stitches she had throughout the years, and I let her cry on my shoulder as I held her. We have a connection.
Had?
I miss her.
I hate to admit it, but I do. Nova had been the only female who really connected with me. I remember the night of the party when I told Nathan I was in love with Nova. I did love her. It wasn’t just the sex I enjoyed, it was our conversations, the joking and teasing, the sweet text messages. I pick up my phone and scroll through them again.
Nova: Good morning handsome.
Me: Good morning beautiful.
The messages are funny from Nova’s silly, childish jokes, and GIFs of puns. The corners of my mouth twitch. She can still bring a smile to my face.
But it’s the sexting which still turns me on.
Me: Are you thinking about me between your legs?
Nova: Yes, but it’s hard at work.
Me: Trust me, I’m hard at work right now.
I wish there was someone I could talk to, with an impartial opinion. Suddenly a lightbulb flashes in my mind. Cabel. Cabel Dirks is the oldest member of our team. Actually, he might be the oldest in the PHL. He’s been around a lot and is very impartial. He’s like the dad of everyone, and I know he can help me out.
Me: Hey Pops, you have ten minutes for me?
I’m not sure if he has his daughters with him, but I’m hoping he can make time for me.
Cabel: I’m at the house. Come on over.
I drive over to his place and I’m thankful I can speak to someone about this. Yes, I did talk to Oliver, but he’s Nova’s godfather and I know she comes before me. When I knock on the door Cabel is quick to answer.
“Hey, Teo. Come on in. You want a beer?” he asks as I stroll into his home.
I shake my head and briefly look around his house. I’ve not really been over here before. I mean, I’ve been over here but never saw anything. On the walls, there’s pictures of his two daughters and even his ex-wife and her new wife. Some would think Cabel would be pissed off since his ex-wife came out after several years of marriage to him, but he isn’t–not in the least. In fact, he gave his ex-wife away at her wedding. He even says how much he still cares for her.
Strange!
However, he’s also the most level headed man I know. He’s always looking for a way to help us. It’s not always advice, but it’s helpful on and off the ice.
“What’s up, Teo?” He sits down on the couch and nods over to the chair.
“I’m having an issue and I don’t really have anyone to talk to you.” I confess.
“I’m all ears and it stays between us, man. No matter what.” He sits up taller and turns on his serious face. At least, it’s what I call it.
I tell him everything. I start from when Hamilton told me about Nova’s crush on me, to our first date, our first sexual experience, the end of our relationship, the lies Nova told and didn’t tell me, and this moment right now. I miss her. I’m still damn mad at her, but I want to be there for Klara.
“What do I do, Pops?”
Cabel scoffs. “Teo, trust is the foundation of a relationship. There’s nothing more than trust between a couple. She broke your trust. Yes, I can see her side and the misunderstanding of your words but your trust is broken. Lying about a child is the worst of all betrayals. I hate to say Oliver’s right, but he is. You need to look at Nova’s side of this. She’s had a rough life and is extremely guarded. Look what Hamilton went through with Janan. I see your point, I really do. However, I have a soft spot for Nova. She’s going to protect the one thing in this world that completely belongs to her. Klara.”
I nod. He makes sense. “I don’t know if I can ever move on from her keeping Klara from me.”
“You’re right. Only you can be the one to move on from it. No words or actions can mend it until you’re ready for it.”
“I’m worried about this Liam guy.”
“Liam Brown? Oliver’s CFO?”
“Yes. Why? Do you know something?” I’m piqued to his knowledge about him.
“He’s a great guy. He’s been Oliver’s CFO and friend for as long as I’ve known Oliver and since Nova and Janan have been young. Every interaction I’ve had with him has been pleasant and no one’s ever said anything cross about him.”
Damn. I had hoped he would have told me the guy is a raging asshole and a womanizer. “Okay.”
“Listen, Teo, you should have a custody agreement. Even my ex-wife, Chloe, and I have one and we get along. Don’t do it through lawyers get an arbitrator, make it comfortable for Nova. If you come in with fists swinging, it’ll be worse on you.”
I take a deep breath. He’s right. Again. I need to meet up with her and talk this out like adults. If for nothing else, it’s my daughter. I have no holds on Nova and she can date whomever she wants. Hell, I can date whomever I want. I’ve not since Nova quit talking to me. Oh man. If I move on, then I won’t have all these feelings or issues.
“Are you sure about leaving the PHL?” Cabel breaks into my thoughts.
“I am. It’s one of the greatest decisions I’ve made in a while.” I stand and stick out my hand. “Thank you, Pops. I mean it. Talking to you has helped a lot.”
Cabel stands up and shakes my hand. “I’m here if you need me.”
I KNOW IT’S later than I would usually go over but Nova’s lights are still on. I lightly knock and hope she lets me in. A moment later she opens the door. Her green eyes are bloodshot and puffy. It’s obvious she’s been crying a lot.
“Teo.” Her voice is hoarse and her teeth are clenched together.
“I’m here to see Klara and talk to you.”
She steps to the side. “Do I need to call my lawyer if we talk?”
Nova’s never snide. “No. It can just be between us. For now. Where’s Klara?”
“This way.”