“Yes,” she grasped the excuse like a lifeline. Except that it wasn’t an excuse at this point. She really did feel physically sick. “I-I can’t go through with this, Andre. It has all happened too fast. Forgive me.”
She looked up at the Judge. “Forgive me, Your Honor.”
“It’s all right, Ms. Mallory.” His smile was kind. “Better to wait until you know you can say your vows without hesitation. You’re a brave woman. I admire you for your courage.
“I’m sure your fiancé, Mr. Benet, wouldn’t want you to make a solemn oath you’re not ready to make, any more than you would want him to take vows if there were still things left unresolved between you.
“My advice is to go home and reason this out together. If your love is meant to be, time will show you the way.”
Tears filled her eyes as the Judge moved from behind his lectern and gave her a fatherly hug.
When he released her, she heard Andre quietly thank the Judge and his wife for their time before he cupped her elbow and escorted her from the chapel.
“Andre—” she cried his name in pain after he’d helped her into the car and they’d pulled away from the curb.
“It’s all right, Francesca.”
“No, it’s not! But I’m frightened, Andre. I-I need more time to think.”
“I understand.”
Her breath caught. “After I told you I would marry you tonight, I don’t see how you could understand anything! You have every right to despise me,” she murmured with self-loathing.
“I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit I’m disappointed. But as for despising you, I think you already know the answer to that.”
He was being far too controlled for a man who’d just been rejected at the altar. “A-Are you going to leave Salt Lake now?”
He turned his head to stare at her. “Is that what you want me to do?”
She fought to get control of her emotions, but she was fast losing the battle. “I want you to do what you want to do,” she blurted before she buried her face in her hands and broke down sobbing.
“Then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
They drove to her apartment in tension-filled silence. His last comment had raised pure terror in her heart.
“You don’t have to see me to the door,” she said as she struggled to get out of the car.
He ignored her comment and came around to the passenger side to help her out. By the time they reached her apartment inside the building, she was a mass of nerve endings screaming for release from pain.
Andre would never want her now. Who could blame him?
She opened her purse and fumbled for the key. He ended up finding it. Soon her apartment door stood ajar.
“Andre—” She lifted a ravaged, tearstained face to him.
“Don’t say anything you might have to take back,” he warned.
On that quelling note he kissed her hard on the mouth before walking away.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE DOORBELL SOUNDED AGAIN. “Fran? Are you home, honey?”
Fran could hear her mother calling to her. Disoriented, she lifted her head from the pillow and stared bleary-eyed at the clock by her bed. Ten after twelve?
Andre had dropped her off a little around four this morning. After collapsing in a paroxysm of tears, she must have finally cried herself to sleep.
“Just a minute,” she shouted back. “I’m coming.”
Staggering off the mattress, she threw on her velour robe and hurried through her small two-bedroom apartment to the front door.
“Mom?” She had to smooth the hair out of her eyes to see her.
“Fran, honey—” Her mother hugged her hard. “Thank heavens you answered the door. Everyone has been trying to get hold of you. I was just about to let myself in to see if you were too sick to get out of bed.”
“I’m all right,” she murmured guiltily.
Her mother stared at her with probing hazel eyes. “You don’t look it. What’s wrong, honey? Where have you been? Howard has been trying to reach you since last night.”
What?
“His patient went into false labor and was released, so he went back to the party for you.”
Fran groaned.
“But it was all over by the time he got there, and Mr. Benet’s houseguest, Mrs. Richter, had no idea where anyone was. So Howard called Barney, thinking you must be at Barney’s house because he was the one who had driven you home.
“That’s when he found out you had accepted Mr. Benet’s offer of a ride home instead. Howard became alarmed when he started calling you at ten this morning and still couldn’t reach you.”
I’m sorry, Howard. I’m so sorry.
“I kept trying to get you, and finally decided to come over myself. When I saw your car in the garage, that’s when I really started to worry.”
A shuddering breath escaped Fran’s lips. “I’m sorry to have upset you. Come in and sit down, Mom.”
Fran shut the door, but her mother still stood there.
“I realize you’re twenty-eight years old and can take care of yourself. What you do is your own business. But when I phoned Mrs. Richter before I drove over here just now, she told me Mr. Benet still hadn’t home come yet. She was worried because in the past he has always kept her informed of his whereabouts. At that point I’m afraid we both feared the worst, that you’d been involved in a car accident or something.”
Oh, no.
Andre had gone….
The world started to reel.
“Honey?”
Her mother grabbed her arm. “Come on. Sit down on the couch. You’ve gone pale as a ghost. Let me get you some water.”
“Thanks, Mom,” she said when her mother brought her a drink from the kitchen. The cold water actually tasted good and helped restore her somewhat. She drained it before setting it down on the coffee table.
Her mother had a way of seeing right through her. Fran hadn’t planned to tell her about last night in order to save her any grief. But now that her mother was here, she deserved an explanation. There was nothing to do but tell her the truth.
“Mom?” she began in a wobbly voice. “Last night after the party, Andre asked me to marry him. I-I told him yes, so we drove to Elko.”
“Honey!” her mother cried out with pure joy and started to get up to hug her.
“Let me finish, Mom,” Fran said when she could see her mother’s excitement. She kneaded her hands together. “We were halfway through the ceremony w-when I couldn’t go through with the rest of it. I have to say it was the most traumatic experience of my entire life.
“Andre brought me back early this morning. I was so horrified by what I’d done to him, I cried all the way home. Naturally I’ll never see him again. What Mrs. Richter told you just verifies it.
“After I got in bed, I cried for hours. When I finally fell asleep, I didn’t hear anything. I-I’m sorry you had to come over and find me like this.”
All the joy had left her mother’s face, making her look older. “I’m sorry too,” she whispered. Fran’s parent was such an upbeat person, it hurt Fran to hear the desolation in her mother’s voice.
Fran shook her head in pained confusion. “Why are you sorry, Mom? I thought you hoped Howard and I would get together one day.”
“You’re wrong, honey. I let go of that dream for you by high school. To be honest, I never expected you to marry at all. But just now, when you told me you had eloped to Elko, I was so happy I wanted to shout it to the heavens.
“I thought, at last my daughter has met a man who has managed to get past those barriers she erected years ago. But obviously I was wrong. You’re so afraid of betrayal, you can’t trust the instincts God gave you.”
Tears gushed down Fran’s cheeks. “You trusted your instincts, and look what happened to you.”
Her mother shook her head helplessly. “Honey—you can’t base your whole life on what happened to me!”
“But how did you stand it when you f
ound out Daddy had been unfaithful?”
“It hurt, but it didn’t ruin my life. If I found a man I could truly love, I’d risk it again.”
Fran couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You really would get married again?”
“Of course. In fact I’m hoping it will happen, and wish it had happened when you were young so you could have seen what a good marriage was like. It was the abandoned child, not the grown-up woman, who couldn’t get through the ceremony last night.
“Andre Benet must have an excess of all the husband potential you’ve been looking for, or you wouldn’t have driven to Elko with him. You do love him.”
“More than life itself,” Fran whispered. “That’s why I couldn’t take it if he walked out on me, Mom.”
Her mother got to her feet and stared piteously at Fran. “To live your whole life denying yourself happiness with a wonderful man in order to avoid something that in all probability will never happen, is the stuff real tragedies are made of.
“I wish I could help you, Fran. I love you so much.” Her mother’s voice trembled.
“I love you too.”
“Under the circumstances, I’ll tell Don and May you’re too sick to come to dinner. We’re due there in a few minutes.”
“Thanks.” Hot tears trickled down her cheeks. “I couldn’t face anybody right now.”
Mrs. Mallory gave her daughter a long hug. “Before you do anything else you need to call Howard and Barney so they won’t worry.”
Fran sniffed. “I will.” She followed her mom to the door. They embraced one more time before they said goodbye.
Numb with pain, Fran stood paralyzed until she heard the phone ring. Her heart suddenly raced too hard. Andre?
She dashed into the kitchen to answer it. As soon as she said hello and heard Howard’s voice, her heart plummeted. “Fran?” he repeated her name.
“Yes, Howard.” She swallowed hard. “I’m so glad you called here. I was just about to phone you. Mother came over to my house this morning and got me out of bed.” The lies were beginning.
“I-I didn’t realize you had already tried to reach me. I understand you came back to the party last night because your patient had gone into false labor. By then Andre had run me home. I’m so sorry everything went wrong.”
The prolonged silence on his end increased her pain. “I’m not,” came the unexpected response. “Your involvement with Benet goes layers deep. Last night I realized I will never be in the running. That’s why I’ve been trying to reach you, to wish you good luck. I mean that sincerely. But will you do me one favor?”
By now tears were dripping down her cheeks. “Of course.”
“Don’t stay away from church because of me. Since you never gave me the chance to suffer a broken heart, my bruised pride will mend soon enough. One day I hope to find a woman who loves me as much as you love Benet.”
When she could find her voice she said, “You will, because you’re a wonderful man. The very best,” she said in a tortured whisper.
“Goodbye, Fran.”
Quick, before she broke down completely, she had to phone Barney.
To her relief, she reached his voice mail. She couldn’t handle a conversation with him right now. After telling him the same lie she’d told Howard, she said she’d see him at the office in the morning, then hung up the phone and went back to bed. She wondered if there would ever be a reason to get out of it again.
The phone rang as Andre walked through the back door of his house. With the blood pounding in his ears he reached for the receiver in the kitchen. “Francesca?”
“No.” There was a slight hesitation. “It’s Natalie. I’m sorry,” came the quiet apology.
Her call had the effect of ice water being thrown in his face. He tamped down hard on his disappointment. What a fool he was to think Francesca would phone him, but he was in pain. Today was supposed to be the first day of their honeymoon.
“Yes, Natalie? What can I do for you?”
Her only reason for phoning would have to be about business because when he’d said good-night to her last night, he’d let her know that he was in love with Francesca.
“Forgive me for the intrusion, especially after that fabulous party you gave last night. But you told me to call if a house came on the market that Gerda might like. I think I’ve found it. There’s an open house going on right now.”
He sucked in his breath. “I just got in, and their car isn’t here. I would imagine they’re at church. I don’t expect them back until after four.”
“That’s too bad because I can tell you that even though it was just listed today, it will be gone by tonight. People kill for this location on the Avenues because it’s near the university, yet has a wonderful view of the city.
“Amazingly, it’s in Gerda’s price range and not that far from your house. A one-family owner has kept it in mint condition, but because of financial problems, they have to move before Christmas. Do you want to meet me there?”
If this concerned anyone but Gerda, he would tell Natalie to call back later. But under the circumstances, he knew Gerda and her family were anxious to get settled in a place of their own. Maybe Natalie was right, and this was the house for them.
After spending part of the day at the monastery, he’d come up with a plan to pursue Francesca. Under the circumstances, the sooner he had his whole house to himself, the sooner he could carry out some ideas. Before long he intended to make her his wife. He couldn’t wait to start a family. In fact he yearned for everything he’d been deprived of.
When the Judge had gotten to the part where Francesca was supposed to repeat her vows, Andre knew marriage was what he’d been starving for. He wasn’t about to give up now.
“What’s the address?”
“It’s 823 Eleventh Avenue.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Thanks, Natalie.”
After leaving a note by the phone for Gerda explaining he’d gone house-hunting, he dressed in khakis and a polo shirt, then hurried out to his car. He didn’t plan to be gone more than forty-five minutes at the most.
But in that assumption he was wrong. The place was packed with potential buyers, and the tour of the house took much longer than he had anticipated. As far as he could tell, it turned out to have everything Gerda had specified and more.
Afraid Natalie was right and it might get away from them if they didn’t act fast, Andre wrote out a check for earnest money. It took Natalie a little while to finish her business with the other Realtor. By the time they went out to their cars, it was ten after four.
“Gerda ought to be home by the time I get there. Why don’t you come over to the house. Then she and Harbin can follow you back here to see what they really think.”
“That’s a good idea. These papers are going to need her signature.”
“Let’s go.”
Anxious to return to the house in case Francesca had broken down and phoned him, he drove faster than usual. To his relief, he saw Harbin’s car parked in front.
Andre left his car in the driveway alongside the house and gestured to Natalie to stay in her car. Before he could put his key in the lock, the door opened. “Andre!” Gerda cried happily. “I’m so glad you’re home safe.”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be? I left you a message.”
“I mean before you left your message.” For the next few minutes Gerda explained about the frantic phone calls from everyone including Francesca’s mother. “No one could find either of you. That’s when I began to worry you might have been in an accident.”
Lord.
“After what you’ve just told me, I have to go over to Francesca’s apartment. I’ll explain everything later, Gerda. Right now Natalie Cairns is waiting for you. She’s found the perfect house for you in your price range. She was so excited about it, she asked me to check it out.
“I have to agree it’s exactly what you’ve been looking for. We were both afraid it would be gone before the end of the
day so I put earnest money down in case you wanted it.”
Gerda looked shocked. “You used your own money?”
“You would have done the same for me, ja?”
The older woman’s blue eyes misted over. “Ja.”
“After everything we’ve been looking at for the last few weeks, it’s a jewel, Gerda. I think all of you could be very happy there, and it’s only a few minutes away from mine.”
“Thank you, Andre!” Gerda cried fervently. “Just today in church I prayed we would find a house soon. You are truly mein Schatz.”
“The feeling’s mutual, Gerda. Now I’ve got to go.”
After making several errands, he sped all the way to Francesca’s apartment complex. All he had going for him was the element of surprise. He planned to keep her so surprised, one day she would finally have to cave in.
It was almost six at night when Fran heard the doorbell ring. She wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was her Uncle Donald. Though he was a dentist, he took care of everyone’s minor medical needs in the family.
Assuming her mother had told him she was down with a cold or some such thing, she speculated he’d decided to run over and see if she needed an antibiotic. She loved him for being so good to her, but right now she wasn’t in any shape to have company. She’d already swallowed a couple of painkillers, but her headache was still there big as life.
Although she’d taken a shower and had changed into a clean pair of navy sweats, nothing could repair the damage to her face after eight hours of nonstop sobbing. He would notice her puffy, red-rimmed eyes and unnatural pallor. In an instant he would ascertain her problems weren’t medical.
With a towel still wrapped around her hair still damp from the shower, she walked over to the door. “Who’s there?”
“Andre.”
Her heart thudded sickeningly. He hadn’t left town yet. Had he come to say goodbye?
She moaned, not wanting him to see her like this. But she didn’t dare turn him away. There was so much she needed to say to him. First of all, she had to beg his forgiveness.
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