by Nadia Aidan
“I can’t believe the both of you,” I continued, growing angrier by the second, because if I didn’t feed my fury, another emotion would creep its way in, and I refused to let Khalil see me cry ever again. “You think you can just stand in for Amir, and all is well? I’m not some toy to be tossed around from fiancé to fiancé—cousin to cousin. Even without my approval, my father will probably still agree to this travesty, because he doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with your family, so why even come here, and act like I really have a choice? We already know this deal is practically done so why even show up and patronize me as if any of you care about me or my feelings?”
“I care.”
Those two whispered words captured my attention and I stared at Khalil whose eyes bore into me. I wanted to believe him, but I just couldn’t trust him anymore. He’d taught me a very painful lesson about trusting in the word of the wrong person. It was a lesson I’d learned well.
“If you honestly think you can’t do this, that you would be miserable if you did, then don’t agree to it. I, nor Amir, will force you into this, and your father cannot either since my cousin is the one who has broken the agreement. If you say no, then we will all have to accept your decision.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and I was so completely stunned that I couldn’t tear my gaze from him. I kept searching his face for just the hint of deception, any telltale sign that he would renege on his word, but it wasn’t there.
I turned from him then, to collect myself and my thoughts. The man I knew Khalil to be was far too arrogant and domineering to give me a choice, although I recognized immediately, that this was really just a formality, an empty gesture. To reject his proposal would spark a blood feud between our two families; and while I was pretty sure, we had progressed beyond the time of blood feud wars, I knew that a political fallout to the magnitude this would turn out to be, would ultimately tear Sharjah apart by forcing the other noble families, and our people to take sides. At a time when our nation was prospering and progressing forward, this kind of dissention would only set us back and weaken us as a nation.
“I won’t force you to marry me, Sabeen, not if you think you will never be happy.”
I closed my eyes against the torrent of emotions that swamped me. There had been a time when all I’d wanted was to be Khalil’s wife. It had been a long held and deeply buried secret that I’d kept from everyone, even him. And now my girlhood fantasies and dreams were on the verge of coming true. I choked back a sob because it was Khalil who’d shattered every single one of those stupid, silly dreams. I wasn’t a girl anymore, which also meant, my selfish needs didn’t matter either. As much as I despised him, I would marry him to maintain peace across Sharjah and to see that my people continued to thrive.
“I’ll do it,” I said with a sigh. Somehow I located a pen nearby, and managed to keep my composure long enough to sign the documents he’d brought, and basically sign my life away.
“Sabeen—”
“Don’t,” I said sharply and this time when I shoved the papers at him, he took them.
“It doesn’t matter what I think or feel about any of this. I’ll marry you which is all that matters.” I stepped around him and headed toward the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to prepare for. I’m sure you can show yourself out—“
He halted my retreat with a single arm that he wrapped around my waist, locking me to his side. “I know you hate me. I know the way I treated you was inexcusable, so I won’t make any. All I can say about my actions is that I was young and foolish, and afraid of what I was starting to feel for you. And I know that doesn’t change what happened or make it okay, but I am sorry. I’ve always regretted what happened between us, and if you just give me the chance, I will do everything I can to make you happy and make this right.”
The second our bodies made contact, I felt a jolt from the top of my head all the way to my toes. I had no choice but to meet the scorching intensity of his gaze, even as heat spread through me like wildfire. What I saw in those obsidian depths took my breath away. Everything about his expression was earnest, sincere. I felt my resolve beginning to crumble, until I remembered how deeply he’d hurt me. He’d tried apologizing before but I’d refused to hear him out, knowing that he would only try to charm me as he was doing now.
I shrugged away from him until he was forced to let me go. His lofty declarations were nothing more than meaningless words and empty promises.
“You can save the apologies and pretty words for one of your mistresses. I said I’d marry you, and I will, but this marriage is not about you or me. It’s about ensuring that Sharjah remains peaceful and stable.”
Khalil’s eyes flashed dangerously. I knew that look, the one that had always hinted at his darkly erotic and possessive nature. I’d been intimately familiar with how easily he could lay claim to me, and after only five minutes alone in his presence he’d proven I was not as immune to him as I pretended to be. So I knew if he touched me again I would not escape that boardroom without him completely branding me. In his eyes, I saw it. He would take me until I had no power left in my body to resist him.
“You are mistaken if you believe this will be a marriage in name only.”
My temper flared. “And you are mistaken if you think it will be anything but. You had your one freebie just now, but that’s it. If I recall, you’ve always loved screwing every hole out there, and I won’t stand in your way. As long as you don’t stand in mine.”
I could see his restraint was threading thin, and that I needed to get out of there before it completely snapped.
“You already know I will never allow you to sleep with any other man besides me, and if you continue to provoke me, Sabeen, you will regret it.”
He was already stalking toward me, the hunter closing in on his prey, but before he could reach me, I made it to the door and flung it open. My assistant sat at her desk some ways away. She looked up curiously, before returning her attention to her computer screen. She was far enough away that she couldn’t hear what we said despite that the door was now open. At the same time, I couldn’t be one hundred percent certain that Khalil would be completely deterred by Laila’s presence, not if he decided to drag me back inside and fuck me all over my boardroom, which I could see was his intent.
“You’ve bought yourself some time with this little stunt, but we both know you can’t run from me forever. And when I catch you, I can promise you that the first thing I’m going to do is punish you for even insinuating I would ever share what’s mine with another.”
He brushed past me then, his gaze still focused on me. Fifteen years ago, I may have trembled in anticipation, and maybe even a little fear, but not today. I wasn’t the same girl he’d once seduced and then discarded. I met the challenge in his eyes, and I knew the moment he realized that I wasn’t that same girl anymore either.
I wasn’t a girl at all.
“Well lucky for me Khalil, I know you’re not a man who keeps his promises, least of all when it comes to me.”
Chapter Two
Fifteen Years Earlier
“And, Khalil, while you’re in Atlanta, would you do me this favor, and check on my daughter. We argued the last time we spoke so she insisted on remaining until the end of the semester, but I still worry she will grow homesick once Thanksgiving approaches.”
Khalil had never been able to refuse his godfather, Abdul al-Mujaher anything, so as much as he dreaded the task of babysitting the spoiled heiress for a few days, he’d nonetheless agreed to check on Sabeen when he’d spoken to Abdul.
His American fraternity brothers had ribbed him about his sense of obligation to his godfather and the importance of his role in Khalil’s life. Although tolerant of all faiths, for thousands of years Sharjah had been majority Coptic Christian, as it still was today. Like many of the tribal ways of Sharjah, the religious mores also remained entrenched within Sharjah’s modern society, including the high regard held for one’
s godparents. So it didn’t matter that it was his senior year, that he’d been invited to spend Thanksgiving Break with one of his close friends, that he hadn’t travelled all the way from Howard University for the break to spend it babysitting, and that the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with some freshman, let alone Sabeen. Because his godfather had asked this of him, he would do it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Actually, he’d only just arrived at Sabeen’s Spellman College dorm, and he already hated it.
He’d called Sabeen from his friend’s home before he’d driven all the way from Stone Mountain into the city. She knew he was coming to get her. They’d agreed he would take her out to dinner this evening, so she knew she was supposed to be standing in that lobby and ready to go by 5pm. He’d blocked out three hours max for her so he could make sure she was doing alright, and then invite her to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow with his friend’s family, all the while praying she already had plans.
The next day he would call her father, tell him all was well, and with that call, his duty would be done.
So the sooner he could do his duty, the sooner he could get back to hanging out with his boys and partying all over Hotlanta. But trust Sabeen to fuck his night up, before it had even gotten started because she was now almost thirty minutes late.
“Can you please call her again?”
He tried to flash his most charming smile at the stoic middle aged woman who sat behind the desk, a symbolic guardian of the virtue of the women who lived within those walls. He would have joked about the irony of the situation, considering that what she really needed to worry about was what her charges did once they got outside of those walls; but her sour expression didn’t lead him to think she would find his humor funny, given that she looked as if she hadn’t laughed since Nixon was in office.
“I already told you, young man, if she is not answering her phone, it is not our policy to send someone up every single time to look for a resident. As it is the holiday,” she continued when he opened his mouth to try to reason with her one more time. “Many of the students have already left, and if Sabeen is not answering her phone, I suspect she isn’t in her room.”
“But she knew I was coming. She’s expecting me. What if she’s up there right now hurt or something?”
The stone-faced woman didn’t even blink. It was obvious she’d heard that same line many times before. Even though he’d told her he was a family friend, it was obvious she believed he’d lied and that she was just another disgruntled ex. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with her.
“Yes ma’am. Thank you,” he mumbled, remembering his manners when all he wanted to do was storm out of there. It was obvious Sabeen had stood him up, so no point in hanging around her dorm, because he was pretty sure she wasn’t going back there tonight.
He stalked toward his car with furious steps. When he caught up to her he was going to teach that spoiled, selfish little brat a lesson on punctuality and manners.
He cursed aloud then, because he couldn’t just leave and go back to his friend’s place, not without actually checking on her. What if something really had happened to her, despite what that dragon warden thought? He could never lie to Abdul, and tell him he’d checked on Sabeen when he hadn’t, nor could he go back on his word.
He would have to find the little schemer, and Khalil was determined that it would be tonight. He’d spoken to her only a couple of hours ago, so she couldn’t have gotten far. While he didn’t consider them friends, by no means, they had grown up together, so he had some insight into her inner workings and behavior. As he slid behind the wheel of his car, he thought about what that cunning little mind of hers was up to.
Sabeen knew he was there to check on her, which told him that if she didn’t want to see him it was because she knew he nor her father would approve of whatever she was doing, or who she was with. A number of wild images flashed through his mind, all of them unsettling until he remembered who Sabeen was and how she’d been raised. She possessed a rebellious streak, but despite being thousands of miles away, she knew what it meant if she shamed her father and her family. Just as he was certain she also knew he was duty bound to find her.
Khalil started toward his car only to draw up short. He’d been to Atlanta enough times to know where the local coeds went during the breaks, especially those who didn’t have cars, because none of the freshmen at Spelman were allowed to have cars, not even if they were belligerent oil heiresses. With anger still fueling his steps, he headed in the direction where he was certain he would find her, and if she was lucky he would find her sooner rather than later, because the longer he had to search for her, the worse her punishment would be.
As it turned out, it wasn’t Sabeen’s lucky night after all. After nearly four hours combing through almost every single club, lounge, and bar along the downtown corridor between Abernathy and the University Center, still no Sabeen. The only bright spot was that there weren’t dozens of places to hit up, it was just getting inside that took up all his damn time, and he’d already spent most of his cash bribing every bouncer to let him skip the lines. It was the night before a holiday, places weren’t packed but they were still teaming with those students who’d decided to remain in town, along with locals, who didn’t have to be at school or work the next day.
So far, he’d visited every single place on that block, no matter how seedy it looked, but as the night wore on, the lines started getting longer. He needed to be more strategic if he wanted to find her before sun up.
Sabeen would only try to get into the most upscale places, even though she shouldn’t have been getting into anywhere since she wasn’t even close to twenty-one. She should have been waiting for him at her dorm, he thought angrily for what had to be the thousandth time. He was so furious that it almost blinded him, to the point he nearly missed the flash of gold from the corner of his eye.
Club Indigo. The name sounded nice enough, but that was all that was nice about it. Lewd lyrics of Southern rap joined the pulsing bass that vibrated beneath his feet. Just a glance at the chipped paint and dents in the exterior, told him all he needed to know about the ruinous state of the interior. When he caught the pungent scent of marijuana wafting outside the wide open doorway, Khalil shook his head with a frown. He didn’t even have to waste his time, there was no way—
He froze when he heard the seductive lilt of feminine laughter at the same time something sparkled in his periphery again. This time Khalil looked up, and what he saw through one of the large dark and dingy windows, even fifteen years later he would readily admit, it had sparked something intense and urgent within him, something he’d never felt before, and definitely not since.
It was the immediacy with which he’d felt the possessive stirrings and raw longing, which had left him so shaken, that he’d ultimately forced himself to walk away in order to protect her, her honor, and that of both their families.
“Hey man, where do you think you’re going? You haven’t paid.”
As if in a trance, Khalil had instinctively moved toward her, only to find his way and his line of vision blocked, by a big, beefy bouncer.
“How much?” he demanded, already reaching for his wallet and pulling out a fifty. With five dollar covers at the doors, he’d been doing fine just slipping the bouncers a twenty, but this time he didn’t want any room for argument where he would be delayed longer than it took for the man to nod for him to go inside.
As soon as he entered the club, his gaze found her again, although she would have been impossible to miss. She had always been striking, and he’d known she’d one day grow into a beautiful woman. Although to call the woman before him beautiful, still did not do her justice. He swallowed the knot in his throat, recognizing the familiar stirrings for what they were—lust, desire, yearning.
This was why he’d dreaded coming there. When he’d returned home for her high school graduation and discovered the beauty she’d turned into, he’d been mesmerized. For the entire day he’d been
unable to tear his gaze away, until she’d finally caught him watching. During her celebratory dinner, for the few moments their eyes locked, he’d glimpsed the desire, not of a girl, but that of a woman, along with something else, something that ignited those dark urges he’d sworn he could control. He’d been the first to look away because in those few seconds he knew Sabeen was a sensual, forbidden temptation, which was why he had to avoid her at all costs. And that’s exactly what he’d done for the remainder of his trip home to Sharjah, and later when he’d returned to the States—and for six months his tactics of evasion had actually worked.
While they were both in the U.S. pursing their studies, he’d used every excuse, ploy, and lie to avoid seeing her, despite that his cousins had visited every month since she’d been at Spellman. To continue to avoid her—especially after her father’s request, which to refuse would have been totally out of the question—would have been met with too much suspicion.
Khalil shook his head as if the simple act could somehow ease the throbbing heat coursing through his body, but he already knew there was only one person who could assuage his needs and soothe this particular ache—and he cursed himself that it was the absolute last person he should want.
Mahogany brown thighs and the lush, sensual curves of a woman’s figure ensnared him once again. Clad in a body hugging, gold mini dress that shimmered against rich, dark skin, she was exquisite—the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, certainly the most beautiful woman in that room. Khalil frowned, at the direction of his thoughts as he glanced around that very room and glimpsed the lascivious gazes of the several dozen men whose lustful attentions were trained on Sabeen and her three friends, as they gyrated seductively on the raised platform near the DJ booth. Less than half a second passed before he was marching a straight and purposeful path toward her.