He’d buried them, crying the whole time he was digging their grave.
Was that the final straw? Was that the deed that would finally drive him into insanity?
Randy didn’t know much about psychology. He didn’t know that he wasn’t going insane.
But rather was starting to suffer from clinical depression.
And he was in danger of giving up himself.
If he were aware, he was the type of person who would make it known. Would seek help.
But he didn’t know. The possibility never occurred to him.
So on this particular day, as he pulled on his jeans, he’d do what he always did. He’d press on, and do as much as he could to help as many of his neighbors as he could.
Something fell out of his back pocket.
He reached down and felt around on the floor until he found it.
It was a Texas Tech University student ID card.
It belonged to Amy Slater.
“Oh, crap.”
It was the closest thing Randy ever said to a curse word.
Chapter 36
Randy felt as though he’d let the citizens of Lubbock down. He was set to knock doors on 46th Street today. At the last house he visited, the resident complained about a foul odor coming from a house three doors down. And that the couple who lived at the house hadn’t been seen in a couple of weeks.
Randy explained he was off the following day. But that if the resident could tolerate the smell for one more day, he’d be there bright and early the day after.
Randy hated breaking his word. He knew it was a common thing, given the chaos of the new world.
But “bright and early” had come and gone. And it was disappearing into history faster and faster with each passing moment.
Of course, he could go to that resident and apologize. Say he had the ID of a student who might not be allowed to eat without it. Might not be allowed into her dormitory without it either.
But the resident might think he was just making excuses. He wouldn’t blame him if he did.
He suddenly remembered that Tech had instituted a ten p.m. ID check after the blackout. Non-residents were asked to leave the campus at that time, and only residents with valid ID were allowed to enter or stay there.
He hoped she had holed herself up in her dorm room the night before so she didn’t get booted off the campus.
He rode a bit faster than usual. Not fast enough to work Trigger into a lather, for he was strong and capable.
But he did make his friend work a little harder than usual.
“Don’t worry, boy. I’m gonna drop you off at their stables and give you a little break. They’ll give you some good food and some TLC, and I’ll just bet there’s a few pretty fillies you can get yourself acquainted with.”
On the way to the campus he tried to remember Amy’s dormitory and room number. The ID didn’t show it, and wisely so.
Did she say Havens Hall or Hailey Hall? He’d made a mental note when she told him that the name sounded like an old Rock and Roll singer.
He supposed he’d just have to wait until he got there. Surely only one of the names existed.
He was more certain of the room number. 303.
When he arrived he saw a campus police officer trying his best to quell an argument with two students.
Randy stopped and waited patiently while the officer played referee, listening first to one man’s complaints, then the other’s.
He finally decided they were at an impasse, and made a decision worthy of King Solomon himself.
He asked the first man, “Where’s your dormitory?”
The man pointed to a dorm on the north side of the gate.
“And you?”
The second man indicated a dorm south of the gate.
“Good. Consider the fountain the dividing line. You stay north of the fountain until tomorrow. You stay south of the fountain. If I catch either of you invading the other man’s space before the sun comes up tomorrow I’ll haul you off to the campus holding cell. Then I’ll take a couple of days off and forget you’re in there. Understand?”
Both men reluctantly nodded and went their separate ways.
The campus cop looked up at Randy.
“Impressive,” Randy observed.
“Thank you. I’m glad they separated. I didn’t feel like walking them in cuffs all the way across the campus. What can I do for you?”
Randy leaned down from the tall horse and offered his hand.
“Randy Maloney. From the Texas Rangers.”
“Jack Davidson. You ride all the way up here from Austin?”
“No, sir, we have a small contingent of Rangers stationed at the Mahon Federal Building downtown.”
“Well, I’ll be damned. I didn’t know that.”
“Don’t feel bad. Most people don’t.”
“What can I do for you, Ranger?”
“I have a delivery to make. But I can’t remember if it’s Havens Hall or Hailey Hall.”
“Havens. Go up to the circle, take the second right. Third building on your left side.”
“Thank you, Jack.”
“Hey, you need any backup?”
“Not really.”
“Lots of pretty girls in that dormitory. Just thought I’d ask.”
He tied Trigger to a bike rack just outside Havens Hall and walked up to the third floor.
Amy’s door was propped open, as was almost every other door on the floor.
He peeked into a couple of the rooms as he passed, and noticed that all the windows had been opened as well.
He supposed it was the closest thing to air conditioning they could manage.
At room 303 he could see Amy, face down on her bed and propped up on her elbows. She was reading a book with the aid of the sunlight coming through her window.
He knocked on the doorjamb and she turned toward him.
She put the book aside and got off the bed, chastising him as she walked toward him.
“Well, it’s about time,” she said.
From the tone of her voice, though, he could tell she wasn’t angry. Maybe a tiny bit peeved. But not angry.
“So this means you’re not gonna kill me?”
“Not today, anyway. Come in. Sit down while I put my shoes on.”
“Okay. But why?”
“Because we’re going for a walk, that’s why.”
Chapter 37
He didn’t understand why, but Randy was more than happy to follow Amy wherever she wanted to take him. Although the dormitory’s third floor was comfortable, due to an unseasonable cool breeze blowing through it, he was a bit out of place there.
For one thing, Randy had always been a bit shy. And the sight of college-aged women walking in and out of rooms wearing nothing but thin t-shirts and bathing suits to keep cool was a bit embarrassing to him.
But there was something else, too. He’d been fascinated by Amy from the beginning. Not that he was interested in a romantic way, for she wasn’t his type. But she struck him as a person with a good heart, who genuinely cared for people.
And of course, part of it was curiosity. For it was peculiar indeed for her to demand he take a walk with her.
He handed her back her ID and observed, “I hope you don’t sleep at night with your doors all open.”
“We do. It’s the only way we can sleep comfortably without air conditioning.”
“And you don’t think that’s dangerous?”
“Not at all. The second day of the blackout we had a floor meeting and set up some ground rules. At ten p.m. we kick all the males off the floor. All of them, no exceptions. Then we lock the doors at each end of the hall. We can still get out if there’s a fire because of the panic bars. But no one can get in until eight a.m., when we unlock them again.
“Just to make sure nobody tries to sneak their boyfriend in, though, we post a guard on each door all night.
“We probably sleep better on this floor than anybody else on campus.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re taking precautions.”
They walked down the stairs in perfect lockstep. He wanted to ask where they were going and why they were going there, but he figured he’d find out in due time.
Instead they made small talk. But at the same time, he got the sense there was a specific reason she demanded he follow her.
That she was just searching for a good way to broach the subject.
He inadvertently gave her one.
“Amy, I’m curious… you have a very unique personality. Exactly what do you do?”
She laughed.
“What do you mean, what do I do? I’m a college student. At least I was. Now I just hang out, like most of the others, in limbo while we wait to see what’s gonna happen with the power.”
He felt a bit foolish.
“Okay. That came out wrong. Let me rephrase that. What do you study?”
“Psychology. I’m pre-med.”
“Ah, that explains it.”
“Explains what? Are you psychoanalyzing me, Randy?”
“No. Not at all. It’s just that… well, from the beginning I got the sense you were more than a typical college student. I mean, the first time you met, you offered the school’s horses to help the Rangers. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t do it to help you or the Rangers. I’m a horse person. I love horses. And I could tell Trigger was tired and needed some rest.”
That caught him off guard.
“Seriously?”
She laughed.
“No. Well, maybe. It’s partially true. I noticed Trigger first and felt bad for him. But then when I found out you were a Ranger I thought I might be able to help him, you, and our horses at the same time. They really are sorely in need of exercise and something meaningful to do. Is that so wrong?”
“No. It’s very very right. That’s why I pegged you as a professional helper.”
She laughed again, then stopped walking and studied his face. She wasn’t sure whether he was making fun of her.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“It’s a term my mom used to use, for people who get enjoyment from helping others. They’re rare. You’re rare. You should be proud of that.”
“Gee. I guess I should be flattered.”
“I didn’t say it to flatter you. It’s just an observation, that’s all.”
“I see. What other observations have you made about me?”
“That you’re nothing like your friend Hannah.”
“Good thing or bad?”
“Oh, definitely good. I get the sense that you don’t see me as a romantic interest. And that’s good.”
“Why so?”
“Because we can be friends without feelings getting in the way.”
“And Hannah, on the other hand, can’t be your friend because she’d be trying to get her hands in your pants all the time?”
“Not necessarily. Hannah could be my friend, but I get the sense she wouldn’t settle for that. So I’d have to keep her at arm’s length.”
Amy smiled.
“And you’d be wise never to fall asleep around her. At least if you wanted to wake up unmolested. Can I make an observation? I should get a turn, after all.”
“Sure.”
“This term your mom invented… the professional helper. Did she consider you one?”
He flushed.
“Yes. She said she saw that in me. Why do you ask?”
“You’re a lawman. Lawmen typically get into the field because they want to help and protect others.
“You’re a horseman. Horsemen by nature are good people. If you can care for and love an animal you can care for other human beings as well. When I said I noticed Trigger was tired I didn’t blame you. I know you take good care of him, even when you have no choice to overwork him.
“And lastly, you came looking for a woman you barely know, at great cost to you. At least to your time. You only get a day off occasionally, and you spend it checking up on your friend to make sure she’s okay.
“Yep. I’d say that’s classic professional helper syndrome. Without a doubt.”
Chapter 38
“I guess I’m busted, huh?”
“Not necessarily. You had no nefarious intentions. You didn’t try to take advantage of me or to deceive me. You’ve been completely honest with me, therefore there’s nothing to bust you for. I will say one thing, though. It’s a good thing Hannah’s not here right now.”
“Why?”
“Because she’d agree with you. She’d say ‘Yes, cowboy, you’re busted.’
“She’d insist on locking you up in your own handcuffs and taking you home to her place for detention. Until your Ranger buddies showed up to spring you.
“Or until she was done with you, whichever came first.”
“Ouch. Is she really that bad?”
“No. Not at all. She’s just a lonely girl who gives too much of herself… quite literally, in an attempt to find her one true love.”
“It’s probably not fair to her to discuss her habits.”
“Absolutely true. Let’s not anymore.”
They walked across the campus, Randy still wondering where they were going. And Amy still not saying.
“Can I make one more observation about you, Randy?”
The tone of her voice had changed.
He said, “Sure.”
“You’re a troubled soul. I knew it the moment I saw you. You were friendly but distant. Pleasant yet at the same time guarded. I get the sense you need someone to talk to.”
He paused for a moment, then agreed with her assessment.
“So you want me to talk?”
“Not to me.”
“Not to you? Then to who?”
“Randy, I’m pre-med. I know the basics of how the human mind works. But I’m not a professional. Not yet, and not for a very long time. Maybe never, given the state of the world as it is now.
“But I know some fine doctors. Men who can visit with you, to help you relieve your stress. To ease the things that are troubling you. To ease my worries about you. Or women, if you’re more comfortable talking to women.
“You’re worried about me? Why?”
“Because I can see you’re being haunted by something. Or maybe several somethings. I’ve seen the damage the psyche can do to the body. I’ve seen people, good people, turn very ugly because of stress. I’ve seen good men turn bad. I’ve seen people get destroyed from the inside and finally give up. And either crawl into a shell within themselves or end their own lives.
“I’m concerned about you. I don’t want any of that stuff to happen to you.”
“I’m not going to commit suicide. I’m not the type. And I’ve got way too much to do.
“As far as the stress, yes. I feel a lot of stress. But we all are. This blackout is something we never saw coming. Something we weren’t prepared for. It’s thrown the whole world in turmoil. Show me a single person who’s not under a lot of stress.”
She wasn’t going to let him off the hook so easily.
“No. The stress I see on your face, in your eyes, is a much bigger burden than the rest of us are carrying. I don’t know whether it’s because of the things you have to see and do every day on the job, or because of someone you lost. Or maybe it’s because you are a professional helper and you’re overwhelmed because you want to ease everybody’s pain and you can’t possibly help them all.”
They walked in silence while he processed her words.
She said, “Look. Just think about it, okay? If you decide you need to talk someone so you can start sleeping again at night, or to ease the tightness in your chest, or just to ease your mind a bit, just come back and tell me. Okay? I’ll hook you up with someone who can help. And we’ll keep it on the down-low, okay?”
“How’d you know about the pain in my chest? Or that I’m not sleeping at night?”
“Classic symptoms, my new friend. They’re not h
ard to see, they’re really not.”
They arrived at a statue of writer Will Rogers, atop his horse Soapsuds.
Sitting on a blanket in the grass beyond the statue was Hannah and several other people, in the midst of a lively conversation.
“No, I swear it’s true,” Hannah was telling the others. I heard it from Professor Hill. He was here when they turned it. He said when the statue was first unveiled, that Will Rogers and the horse were both pointed at the main entrance of the campus. He said that sometime in the 1960s, he couldn’t remember exactly when, they turned it.
“Now the horse’s ass points directly to Texas A&M University.”
One of the others wasn’t buying it.
“I’ve heard that several times from weak-minded people,” he said. “But it’s a myth.”
“No, it’s true. I swear!”
Hannah saw Amy and Randy approach and said, “You two back me up. You know it’s a true story, right?”
Randy just shrugged his shoulders. His mind was much too heavy to engage in such frivolity.
Amy said, “Hey, I’m not getting in the middle of this. I’ve heard the story, and I believe it to be true. But even if it’s not it’s still a great story.”
That was good enough for Hannah. She stood up and walked away with her friends and asked Amy, “Did you tell him why I wanted to see him?”
“You swore me to secrecy. I keep my word.”
Hannah turned to Randy and beamed.
Chapter 39
Hannah gave Randy the biggest smile she could muster and flashed her eyelashes several times.
“I’ve got a surprise for you, cowboy. But you have to tell me you love me first.”
“But I don’t.”
She was suddenly crestfallen and lost her smile.
“I mean, I like you a lot. But I don’t love you.”
“I don’t care. Say it or you don’t get your surprise.”
“But I don’t want to mislead you.”
Amy rolled her eyes and said, “For goodness sake, Randy. Just say it or we’ll be here all day.”
Randy took a deep breath and played her silly game.
“Okay. I love you.”
A Whole New World: Ranger: Book 2 Page 11