by Birch, S. C.
“I never thought of it like that. And we’re really lucky we still have internet and electricity. Think I’d go insane if I didn’t know how Claire and Toby were getting on.” Cameron stood up and slid his hands into his pockets.
“I’m the same. And don’t ever say I said this; she will never let me live it down. And I mean that. I will literally end your fucking life if you tell her. But I am so fucking thankful Emily’s here. I mean, I can’t imagine how you’re coping. I don’t think I could do this without her.” Jack said. He unhooked the camera and stood up.
“Yeah.” said Cameron.
“Fucking hell. Listen to us being all emotional and shit. Let’s go have fun.” Jack said with a wide, painful looking grin.
“Oh God.”
Jack fiddled with the little camera for a while then spun it round to face himself, “So, guys, it’s now Day Four of the zedpocs. We’re still on lockdown and stuck in Owen Parker’s house. He’s still alive, by the way. In case you were wondering. Or you were worried or something. Oh, and some of you were asking, and I get that that must have been really confusing, but me and Owen have been mates for years. Probably should’ve mentioned that before now. Anyway! Let me introduce you to everyone.” Jack started to walk towards the door but before he reached it, he spun the camera to Cameron, “This is Cameron Nixon. He might not look like much…and you’d be right to think that.”
“Thanks.” Cameron said, “I’ll remember that the next time I’m saving your life.”
Jack spun the camera back to himself, “Shit, totally forgot! I got attacked! Yeah, cracked my head and everything. We’re all good now though.” Jack wandered from the library and down the stairs, “By the way, how awesome is this house? Nothing like being trapped in a mansion. It’s, like, the best house to get stuck in during an apocalypse.” he strolled into the living room and pointed the camera at Daniel, “And this is Daniel McCauley. Please contain yourselves, Ladies. We all know he’s beautiful but let’s not inflate his ego too much.”
“Hey!” Daniel said, “What did I do to deserve that?”
“Oh, come on, dude, you know you’re a bit too pretty for your own good.” said Jack.
Daniel pondered the thought for a moment before nodding, “Yes. Yes, I am.”
Owen laughed.
“Oh, and Ladies and Men, this time contain yourself. It’s Owen Parker!” Jack spun his body and camera round to face Owen. “Say hello, Owen.”
“Hello, everybody. If you’re watching this then you’re as mad as we are for filming it.” he said.
“You do have a point there, mate.” said Jack, “Where’s the girls?”
“Grace and Lucy are in the dining room, but they’ll kill you if you go in.” Daniel said.
“In that case, I think we need to go say hello.” Jack started making his way through the hall towards them.
“Don’t you even fucking attempt it, Jack! I will hurt you!” screamed a soggy Lucy.
Jack laughed, “Okay, fair enough then. Well, guys -”
Emily screamed from upstairs.
Then Cameron yelped within a close proximity of Emily’s scream.
Without a moment of hesitation, Jack ran to them, camera still in hand. Everyone else followed him and they ran to the pair who had now gone incredibly quiet.
“Emily!” Jack yelled. “Where are you?” he bolted up the stairs. Jack heard a door slam hard and as he turned the corner, he found Cameron who was bright red in the face and squirming.
“Cam! What happened?” Jack asked. He had his hand wrapped around the camera, ready to use it as a weapon if need be.
Daniel and Owen caught up with them. Daniel was wielding one of the golf clubs and Owen was clutching his old baseball bat.
“Nothing! We’re fine!” Cameron shouted.
Lucy and Grace pulled up also, clutching their towels and panting.
“Is everyone okay?” Grace asked.
Jack lowered the camera and with a face of fury asked, “What did you do, Cam?”
“Mortimer is still downstairs, isn’t he? This isn’t like another Lucy fail, right?” asked Daniel who also started to lower his weapon.
Lucy scowled, “Shut up, Daniel.”
“No! We’re - everything’s fine.” Cameron pleaded and started scratching the back of his head.
“Then why did you both scream? What the hell did you do?” Jack asked.
“The fucking prick walked in on me!” Emily screeched from behind the door.
“It was a fucking accident! I thought she was with those two!” he said, pointing at Lucy and Grace.
“How is that an accident?” Daniel asked.
“Fuck this!” said Cameron, “I heard music and thought someone had left their phone in there. And when I knocked the door, three times I might fucking add, she never answered me!”
“That’s because my ears were under the water, ass face!” Emily wailed.
Owen burst into a roar of laughter.
Jack spun round to the source of joy. Owen was doubled over. He had one hand wrapped around his belly and the other was pressed onto the wall, holding himself up. And Jack couldn’t stop himself from joining in.
Then Daniel joined in.
Cameron squirmed and crammed his hands into the safety of his pockets.
“Stop laughing at me! Dick bags!” Emily shouted from behind the door. Then there was a skidding sound followed by a splashing sound and she yelped.
And by now Jack had just about collapsed to the ground. He couldn’t catch his breath between his howls. His stomach throbbed, and he had developed a headache from the laughing.
“Fucking hell!” he shouted once he managed to regain himself and was able to stand again. “Can we all stop screaming unless someone’s actually being attacked?”
He pulled the camera up to his face and Lucy clutched at her towel.
“What the fuck, Jack?” she barked and grabbed Grace’s hand, then ran away. And it was a good thing too because Grace would have stayed put and not realised what was going on.
“Well, there you have it, guys. This is what happens in Owen’s house. Till next time!” Jack said and switched the camera off.
“Daniel? You still there?” Emily shouted.
“Yes.” Daniel shouted back.
“This is why we girls needed an actual fucking plan for getting clean.”
“Yeah, but someone still saw you naked, so it didn’t really work.”
And as Cameron marched away, his face almost luminous it was so red, the boys burst into laughter again.
Jack dragged himself to the door and although it took tremendous effort, he managed to talk. “You are such a fucking moron.”
“How!” Emily yelled.
“The fuck didn’t you lock it for? Actually though, why?”
“I didn’t think anyone would come in, did I?” then Emily chuckled. “We rhymed.”
There was another explosion of laughter from Owen who had now totally collapsed on the ground and buried his face in his hands.
“Christ! You’re so stupid!” he screamed.
The boys near enough slid down the stairs. Each foot kicked out from them and thumped onto the step below. Laughing all the while. Owen led the two into the kitchen, the only place he could be sure two soggy people would not have taken solace.
When they walked in, Cameron jumped from the counter he was sat on and stubbed out his cigarette.
“Jack, I’m really fucking sorry…” said Cameron.
Jack shook his head and smiled, “Don’t worry, mate. Not your fault. Was hers for being an absolute idiot.”
“Christ though, it has pointed out a massive flaw with us.” Owen walked over to the sink and poured himself a glass of water. “We can’t just sit around and hope things are going to be alright. I mean, that’s twice now we’ve heard screaming and ran without thinking. Only me and Daniel had a weapon and the first time we had nothing. Not to mention the fact we all ran out this house with nothing at all and
you nearly got chomped, Jack.”
“That’s true.” Jack nodded in agreement.
“We should choose a weapon and have it with us at all times. I think that makes sense.” said Daniel.
The dryer buzzed and Lucy bolted in without saying a word, took the pile of clothes, and left again.
“She totally hates us now.” Jack grinned.
“I know. Might not be the zombies you and me need to worry about.” said Owen.
Lucy shouted from somewhere in the house, “I can hear you!”
“Sorry!” shouted Owen and Jack in unison.
Owen looked up at Jack and could tell with ease that he was trying to hold in his laughs as well. The two sniggered and snorted as they tried to suppress any sounds of joy.
The girls got dressed, Daniel and Cameron made more noodles, and Jack uploaded his most recent video online before heading back down the stairs while Owen sat with Mortimer. The girls sat down on the sofas and helped themselves to some food. Everyone ate in silence. There was a foulness in the air between Emily and everyone else. She stared hard at Cameron, her face scrunched up in anger. And Cameron just kept looking at his sticky noodles, trying his hardest not to turn scarlet. The television was on in the background and kept relaying images of the undead and bombarding the screen with messages from people for their loved ones.
“This is too fucking depressing.” said Jack. He picked up the remote and turned it off.
Owen really had to hold back the groan that was creeping up on him. He knew that his friends were stuck in his house and he wasn’t going to be free of them any time soon. But Owen still felt a little annoyance towards everyone being so at home. It was, after all, his television in his living room in his house. Surely, he should decide when it is on or not. But, Owen thought, those images and messages really were fucking depressing.
Jack pulled out his phone and started sliding his thumb along the glass with speed. “Shit, guys, we’re trending.” he said as he stared at the little screen, “That video is the most popular thing online right now. Oh my God! You should see the things they’re saying about us…”
“It’s been twenty minutes.” said Daniel, “How is it already that popular?”
“I don’t know. But it is. I’m up to three hundred thousand views already.” said Jack as the bright screen illuminated his face.
“What have people been saying about us?” Grace asked.
“Just loads. Stuff like we’re inspirational, to know others have survived has given them hope, we’re amazing, a shit load about Owen. Like, just a stupid amount. And even people are saying that it made them laugh which they never thought would happen again and stuff. Loads of them are asking for more from us. Saying it is giving them hope and crap.” Jack looked up at everyone, “I think they’re right.”
Lucy shuddered hard, “Did you cut out the bit of us in nothing but towels?”
Jack laughed, “Nah. That was funny. I left it in.”
And although Lucy glared almost as dangerously as Emily, Owen was sure he noticed a wisp of a smile spread across her face before the glaring started.
“Christ, Jack. I will never know how you have gone through life without being murdered.” said Owen. “But onto us. We can’t be screaming for no reason. Please try to contain yourselves in future.” he looked around the room at the three screamers, two of whom looked like they were about to murder him, “Err, so, yeah. In future we should be more careful. And Daniel said something earlier that I think we need to do. We need to pick a weapon and keep it with us at all times. The rest of them should stay here though so we can get to them quickly.”
“Okay.” said Grace who stood up, picked up a golf club and sat back down again.
Daniel already had a golf club.
Owen had his old and faithful baseball bat.
Lucy took a golf club.
Emily took the longest of the kitchen knives and continued to glare.
Jack took the wrench.
And Cameron took the hammer. It wasn’t his first choice, but it was the closest to him and he didn’t want to be near Emily and that knife for longer than he had to.
Owen and the others went silent as they held their weapons. They sat, staring at the thing they had chosen to kill with.
And as odd as it was, holding a weapon calmed Emily right the way down. “Fuck, man. We’re gonna have to actually kill things that used to be real people.”
Jack snorted. “You’ve already killed one. What difference does it make? Plus, they’re not people anymore.”
“Shut up! That’s not the point and you know it!”
The mood in the house never recovered on Day Four. Everyone moped around, unsure what to do or say. Owen and Daniel nominated themselves to take the first shift. The undead continued to circle, loom, moan, and scratch. They kept walking into the windows with their teeth bared and arms out. Their wails and moans crept up on Owen and he couldn’t escape them. He and Mortimer wandered around the house, checking everything was locked and secure at least five times. Owen tipped up his sofas, letting the cushions topple to the floor. Daniel helped him heave the large sofa frames and together they dragged them through the house. Pushing them up against the window’s that already had barricades. Owen needed to. He couldn’t not.
Day Five
Zombies, as though being summoned by heartbeats, flocked to the detached home. Hundreds wrapped all around. Like a pestilence, they kept coming. The possible murder victims wandered around, twitching and jerking, looking for something to eat.
Although numerous, they were still exceptionally dumb. And none had made their way inside. Instead they pressed themselves against the house. Moaning and gargling. Emily was peering outside from a slight gap between the bookshelf and the window in the foyer. Her green eyes narrowed, and she huffed. A far deteriorated zombie found her gaze, and approached, gnashing and grinding its gums against the window pane. Like a cat and a laser pointer, Emily put her finger against the glass and started moving it around, while the zombie eagerly followed.
“Are you playing with a zombie?”
In shock, Emily spun round and fell, “No!” she squeaked.
Cameron continued to look at her without speaking.
“Maybe a little…”
Chuckling to himself lightly, Cameron helped Emily to her feet. “Bored?”
She nodded and looked back outside again. It started to rain. Fat drops fell from above, bouncing on the dead and the ground. It was still early morning. Cameron and Emily had taken the second watch and had been prowling the house for a couple of hours by now. It was a bleak job. Today it felt extra difficult. Emily wasn’t sure why. There was something off. Like the black clouds outside had seeped their way in.
The zombies, showing extreme distress under the rain, caused a twinge of sadness within Emily, so she turned away and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes and listened to the distant rumbling from the skies.
Cameron sat beside her. “Sorry about yesterday.”
Emily smiled, “You know I’m gonna blackmail you now, right?”
Cameron sighed, “Yeah, I didn’t think I was off the hook that easily.”
And as Emily concocted revenge plans in her head, she noticed the silence between them. It was a comfortable silence. Peaceful. But something about it worried Emily.
“You okay, Cam?”
“Yep.” Cameron said. “Just tired, I guess.”
“I know.” said Emily, “Me too. I’m fucking exhausted. And starving. And I really miss my stupid parents.”
She heard Cameron let out a strained laugh and looked at him. “I bet.” he said. And Emily felt this swirl of guilt and shame take root in her chest.
“Oh God, Cam.” Emily said, “Fuck. I’m really, really sorry. I totally forgot.” She shuffled around to face him and held his arm.
“Don’t worry.” Cameron said, and a flicker of a warm smile found him. “There’s so much other stuff happening. I won’t hol
d it against you.”
“Why don’t we do something? You and me. Like we used to.”
Cameron looked at her, “Like what? There’s not a whole lot we can do. We can’t exactly go the graveyard. Or a pub.”
Emily dropped back a bit, shifting her weight through her rear and she hummed; chewing her lip and thinking. Then she bounced up and started trotting away. “Come on!” she said.
Cameron heaved himself up and followed her into the living room. She had already scooped up two sofa cushions and shoved them under her arms. She wobbled and swayed as she collected as many as she could handle.
“What’re you doing?” Cameron asked.
“Just pick some up and follow me.”
After picking up the last of the cushions, Cameron followed Emily upstairs and towards the library. And again, he let out a quiet laugh. It was a funny sight. She looked like she was going to fall at any moment as she wrestled with the cushions.
She swore loudly as the cushions escaped her grasp and flopped to the floor. Instead of picking them up, Emily bent low and shoved them up the hall and into the library. Cameron laughed at the sight and followed along.
In the library, Emily made quick work of the book piles. She pushed them and stacked them around on the floor.
Cameron dropped his cushions and sat beside her. “Are you going to tell me what you’re doing?”
“Remember how when we worked for Permitted World we decided to lock up the shop and built a fort and read comics all day?”
Cameron’s smile grew in a way that surprised him. He never ever thought it would be possible to really, truly smile on this day ever again. And yet, Emily had managed just that. What a mad creature she was.
“Are you building a fort?”
“Yep!”
Together they piled up the books and cushions into a ramshackle wide and tall box. They climbed inside and lifted the last cushions above themselves. It was dark and musty in their little hiding spot so they both flicked on the torches on their phones.
“I knew this was an awesome idea!” Emily squeaked. She held the torch under her chin, casting thick shadows on her face, “Do I look spooky?”
“Like a super goth.”