by Birch, S. C.
“Don’t ask.” said Cameron. He walked towards the door, grabbed Emily’s hand on the way, and headed into the hallway.
“You know,” said Daniel, shutting his bedroom door behind him, “someone should have stayed outside to watch the cars. And we should all stop shouting about whatever her name was. Zombies might hear us.”
And as Owen evaporated into nothing, all his friends could hear him say was “Shiiiiiiit” as his voice trailed off in the distance.
Jack stared at the door frame where his friend had once been, “Wow. He really loves those cars.”
“We good to go?” Cameron asked Daniel.
“Yep.” Daniel said and they headed off. And true enough, all the shouting about whatever her name was had caused a few undead to leave their homes and appear in the hallway. But the Brookers were on the case. Jack and Emily killed them. It wasn’t hard. Zombies are slow. Then they were back at their cars. Owen was guarding them with his life.
Daniel chucked his bags into the boot of the Impala, “Hmmmm, I’ve just realised something. There’s no normal people around.”
Cameron put his stuff away too and pulled down the boot, “I was thinking the same. It can’t just be us and our families still on the go. Where is everyone.”
“Maybe,” said the sensible Lucy, “other people aren’t as stupid as us to be out in the middle of the apocalypse. I mean, we’re about three days away from having a picnic in a graveyard.”
“Zoo first!” Jack said.
Owen chuckled.
Fifteen minutes later they were on their way to Lucy’s house.
“Oh shit.” Lucy said and scrambled around the Impala looking for the walkie-talkie. “Guys, can you hear me?”
“Yes.” said Grace from the Mustang.
Over the radio they could hear shouting and rummaging. Then Emily said, “Sorry! Dropped the talk box thing under the seat. We can hear you.”
But before anyone had a chance to respond, Cameron spoke up, “Talk box? Really? A talk box.”
Then there was a thumping noise, “Shut up! I was confused.” shouted Emily.
And from the Mustang came a cackle from Jack before he said: “That’s like a pernament life state for you, isn’t it?”
“Pernament, Jack? Pernament? Use your big boy words.” said Cameron.
“Em!” Jack shouted, “Punch him for me!”
Then there was a dull smacking sound followed by Cameron laughing.
Owen groaned so hard, he felt the back of his throat vibrate and now had an itch back there he knew was going to persist like a bitch.
“Oh my God will you three shut up and listen for one minute?” said Lucy into the talkie, “All my flatmates died. Well, I’m guessing they did since I haven’t heard from them since all this happened. So, yeah, we should be careful.”
“Now you tell us. Great.” said Owen with a smirk.
Then there was static, “Thanks for that, Lucy! Bit late to be telling us that!”
“Oh, I am soooo sorry, Jack!” Lucy with the most facetious tone she could muster, “I was a bit busy worrying about your stupid face that it slipped my mind!”
Then Grace came over the radio, “Jack says fair enough.”
“To be fair, Lucy,” said the real voice of Daniel sitting in the front seat, “you could have warned us.”
Lucy, in anger, was unaware she was still pressing the talkie button, so when she shouted, all three cars heard her, “Well I’m warning you now! And excuse me for being a bit fucking preoccupied with one of my best friends nearly dying! I’m so sorry that the last few days have been an utter hell for me! Next time I’ll be more considerate of your feelings!”
Then Grace came back on, “Jack says aww that’s sweet.”
Then Emily came on, “Oh my God! Lucy has feelings? This really is the end of the fucking world!”
Owen burst into laughter the instant he seen the scowl emanating from Lucy.
As they pulled up to Lucy’s short, bricked flat in a clean courtyard, Owen was secretly hoping that her flatmates had survived. That way he could burst in and rescue the damsels in distress and sweep them off their feet. Be a real hero. But it didn’t work out how he envisioned. Instead they slayed their way through the undead halls and up to Lucy’s flat. Two of her once attractive flat-mates had been eaten and the third, who was still animated, wobbled towards Lucy as soon as the door opened. So Lucy smashed her skull in then looked at her deceased flatmates.
“That bitch is wearing my jumper! I knew she was stealing my stuff!” Lucy said, glaring at the flatmate with a hole in her belly.
“What a tragedy.” said Daniel, who spoke again when he seen Lucy’s scowl, “That your friends died like this, I mean.”
“They weren’t my friends. I couldn’t fucking stand them.” said Lucy as she stepped over the bodies and headed to her room.
And the boys mourned the scene in front of them.
“Shame.” Owen said.
“Hmm, maybe we should go see if anyone else survived?” Daniel said.
“Err, why?” Jack asked.
Owen, understanding the point Daniel was reaching, said, “Well, this is an all-female student accommodation building…”
“I mean, it would be ungentlemanly for us not to check for survivors.” Daniel said. “Right...?”
“Well, when you put it like that!” Jack said.
The boys all looked at each other. Waiting for one of them to take lead.
“Dicks!” shouted Emily as she stormed off. “Oh, just don’t you even fucking think about it!” she yelled from the hall then there was a slicing sound followed by a thumping sound.
“You okay out there?” asked Cameron as he and the boys continued to look at each other.
“You’re still a bunch of dick bags!” Emily shouted back.
“We should probably check on her.” said Owen.
“Yeah.” said Jack.
“But shouldn’t we check for survivors first?” Daniel asked.
“He does have a point.” Cameron offered.
Without them noticing Grace slipped by them and followed Emily.
Then Lucy walked past them and out the door. “Are you coming?” she asked.
“Yeah...” said Owen, still looking at the other boys.
So Lucy grunted and left with her bags in hand.
The boys only actually moved again when they heard the cars outside rev. And Owen was out first. He heard his cars cry out and sprinted away while the other three lost a fair distance on him. They ran out the hall, down the single flight of stairs, and into the courtyard. Two cars had gone and all that was left was the lonely Impala.
“The fuck!” yelled Owen as they all climbed into it.
Jack fumbled around and found the talkie, “What’re you doing? Get back here right now!”
“No.” said Emily.
The car screeched into life and drove out of the courtyard.
“They’ll be heading to Grace’s!” shouted Daniel in a panic from the back seat.
“Well what’s the fucking address?” asked Owen as they pulled up to a junction and waited.
“I don’t know! Never been there!” shouted Daniel.
Jack pulled the radio to his mouth, “I’m warning you, Em! You either get back here right now or tell us Grace’s address!”
“Well,” said Emily’s voice from inside the radio, “now you know what it’s like when someone fucking runs away, don’t you!”
Jack sat with his jaw hanging off its hinges and the talkie still at his mouth; he didn’t have a comeback for that.
“Christ almighty!” shouted Owen still at the junction, “Why is she such a nightmare all the fucking time?”
“Give!” ordered Cameron. He slid forwards and grabbed the talkie from Jack’s hand, “What in the hell are you three doing?”
“Oh, so now you notice that you have living counterparts!” Emily wailed back.
Then Lucy got involved, “This is why we broke up, Owen!”<
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Owen groaned, “Just fucking tell us where Grace lives!”
Then Jack’s phone dinged inside his pocket so he ripped it out and looked at it. “Grace’s texted me the address!” he shouted (they were all rather panicked) and typed the address into the little computer on the dashboard. The ‘Loading’ icon spread itself across the screen.
“Let me drive!” barked Cameron.
“Not a chance!” Owen barked back, “Nobody drives this car but me. You just stay in the back and shut the fuck up!”
“Give me that!” Daniel threw out his arms and snatched the talkie, “Girls! What you’re doing is really dangerous. Just wait for us!”
Static. Then Emily, “No can do, boys. We’re surrounded. Can’t stop now or they’ll get us.”
“Shitting hell!” Jack shouted and sat forwards, shotgun in hand.
Owen darted his focus between the road and the sat-nav until the map finally loaded and showed him the way. He slammed his foot down and spun the wheel. The Impala took a screeching left and charged forwards.
Owen gripped his wheel and gritted his teeth, “I’m going to fucking kill them!”
“We might not get a chance to.” said Daniel.
Cameron shook in rage, “Shut the fuck up, Daniel!”
Static emitted from Daniel’s hand. Then Emily screamed. Her shrieks swelled inside the Impala. Both Cameron and Jack lunged at the source. Cameron wrapped his hands around Daniel’s and pushed down the button.
“Em! Em, what’s happened!” Cameron yelled into the mouthpiece.
Jack snatched the radio and started shouting, “Emily! Talk to me right fucking now!”
There was a long silence, then static, then Emily again, “See? It’s not nice when your twin fucks off and you think they’ve died, is it? Revenge, motherfucker!”
“Emily! I am actually going to fucking kill you!” shouted Jack.
“Bring it, bitch!” Emily shouted back.
“Oh, err, yeah, we are actually surrounded this time.” said Lucy.
“What?” Owen shouted.
Jack rammed his thumb onto the little button, “What’s happening?”
“Well, err, we kind of crashed. Sorry, Owen. And now…they’re everywhere…” then Lucy’s voice trailed off.
“God! No! Where are you?” ordered Jack.
Then Emily started screaming again. Then there was a tearing sound. Then a clattering sound. Then Lucy screamed. And there was a ripping sound. And a thudding sound.
Owen pushed that car forwards with everything he had in him. He needed to get to them. Now!
“Love you…” whispered Grace, “All of you.”
Silence.
“Ha-ha! Can’t believe we got you again!” shouted Lucy.
The boys all roared in blinding fury.
“I’m going to kill them. I’m actually going to kill them!” said Owen, and he meant it.
Daniel stole the talkie back, “Stop it! Right now! All of you!”
“Make us!” shouted Emily.
Cameron screamed in fury and stole back the talkie, “Fucking end this!”
Silence.
“Okay, we promise to be good.” said Lucy.
Owen sighed, as did everyone else, and he sat back in his seat a little.
“I promise nothing! Revolution!” snapped in Emily.
“In fact, no. I’m not going to kill them. Grace and Lucy get to live. But I’m going to knock Emily out and shove her in the boot of my car! Then I’m going to fucking drag her back to the house and lock her in my fucking basement!” shouted Owen.
“That’s really disturbed…” said Daniel.
Jack nodded, “Yeah, mate, kind of was. And that’s my sister you’re talking about.”
Owen stretched out his whole face and shook his head, “I don’t care! She fucking deserves it! You know for a fucking fact it was her who orchestrated this!”
“My God.” said Daniel, “I can’t believe she managed to get Grace involved.”
Jack twisted in his seat to face Daniel, “Yeah actually. How did she manage that? And why the fuck did Grace even say that?”
“Your fucking sister…” Owen shook his head, “I blame you, Jack. You’ve actually broken her! But thank fuck they’re okay.”
And the girls were okay, until the boys caught up with them. They were just putting the last of Grace’s things into the boot of the Mustang when the Impala stopped beside them and the boys flew out.
“Just no!” Jack shouted as Emily went to talk, “Just don’t even say anything!” he ripped the keys from her hand and threw himself in the Mustang.
Daniel ran to Emily and held her, then to Grace and held her, and finally to Lucy. “I was so worried.”
“Sorry.” said Grace as she ran into the Mustang and hid.
“Sorry. That was a bit much. But you all deserved it.” said Lucy.
Owen stepped forwards, “I so desperately want to slap you right now!”
Lucy brought out her arms and pushed her chest forward; “Come at me then, bro.” she said, smiling.
Owen burst out laughing. “Just get in.” he managed to say.
“I apologise for nothing!” shouted Emily as she rocked on her feet and pushed both her arms into the air.
Cameron shook his head and smiled. He walked up to Emily, pulled her in and kissed her. Once he finally let go, he grabbed Emily’s arm and sat her in the passenger’s seat of their car then climbed in.
“We’re going home! You’ve spoilt this for yourselves.” Jack said into the radio, then he chucked it onto the dashboard and started driving away.
But the thing was this; they didn’t get very far at all. In fact, they never managed to leave the city. After driving for mere minutes, they met a blockade. Soldiers and an armoured convoy turned their attention to the cars. They pulled up their guns and pointed them at the survivors.
“Get out of the cars and place your hands on your head! Slowly!”
“Hey! Don’t shoot!” shouted Jack while he climbed out of the car with his hands glued to the back of his head.
Owen followed Jack, got out the car, slammed his hands to the back of his head, and watched as his friends did the same.
“What are you doing here?” asked the same soldier. Owen couldn’t see his face. The Soldier was wearing a large helmet and there was a MASSIVE gun blocking the view.
“We were just picking up some of my stuff.” said Grace.
“Why? Everyone has been ordered to stay in their homes.” said The Soldier.
“Because,” Grace said with as much of a shrug as she could manage with her hands locked behind her head, “I wanted my things. And we’re all fine. I don’t see what the harm is.”
Jack looked at his fur-coated companion with nothing but admiration.
The Soldier in question looked at her, too, but none could see his expression. And Owen was terrified that Grace had just inadvertently slaughtered them all.
There was a lot of inaudible chatter between the soldiers before some of them started to lower their guns and ran to the group, but most specifically to Owen.
“You’re that Owen Parker guy, aren’t you?” asked the only Soldier who had done any speaking.
“Yeah…”
The Soldier lowered his gun and smiled, “Nice to meet you. Would you sign something? It’s for my son. You’re his idol.”
“Err, I guess.”
“Brilliant. Thanks for this.” said The Soldier as he patted himself down, “Boys,” he turned around to the other gun wielders, “anyone got a pen and paper or something?”
“Sure thing, Boss.” said another. He slammed both items into The Soldier’s hand.
“Brilliant.” The Soldier took it and held it out to Owen, “If you could make it out to Shaun that’d be great.”
“Okay, err, sure.” said Owen. He lowered his hands and felt them shake. Owen tried to keep himself steady while he took the pen and paper. He pressed the paper flat on top of his car and held the pe
n above it, “How you spelling his name?”
“Oh right,” said The Soldier. He stood forwards and rested his arm on the car, “S-H-A-U-N.”
So Owen scribbled:
Dear Shaun,
All the best.
Owen Parker.
And it really was scribbled. Owen could barely make out his own handwriting once he was done.
“Ahh, brilliant! Thanks for this!” The Soldier picked up the paper and folded it away in his pocket. Then one of the other soldiers whispered into his ear.
Owen was the only one of the non-soldiers who didn’t have his hands pressing into the back of their skull.
“So,” said The Soldier, “we need t-”
“Incoming hostile!”
With that a spray of bullets shot down an alley at three zombies. Owen slammed his hands over his ears and dropped to the ground. The noise rang in his ears. Owen waited, hiding behind his car with his eyes closed. He could hear the clank of metal casings spitting on the ground. His heart punched his chest.
“Sorry about that.” said The Soldier once all the noise stopped, “But it’s okay, we got them. No need to thank us.”
Slowly, Owen pushed himself up and scanned the scene. His friends were now standing, but not completely upright, just like him. The Soldier lowered his gun and pushed up his helmet with his thumb.
“So as I was trying to say,” continued The Soldier, “we’re taking survivors to a city we’ve quarantined. For safety. And we need you to come with us, Owen.”
Come with us? That is never, ever a good thing to hear anyone say. Especially not from someone with a big fucking gun. Owen stared at The Soldier who was clearly waiting for a response. But Owen was at a loss.
“Boss! The rest of them are the guys from the videos.” shouted another soldier, then he pointed at Jack with his gun, “He’s the one that’s Clean.”
The Soldier stared at Jack for a long while, squinting. Owen felt a bead of sweat run down his neck as he waited for someone to talk.
“So it is.” The Soldier said after an eternity, “Now you all definitely need to come with us.”
Owen swallowed hard. “Why?”
“Turns out,” said The Soldier, “that the Prime Minister was wrong ‘bout you lot. Everyone we’ve rescued that saw your videos said it helped them get through this. You lot have been boosting morale and all that weak shit -”