Stars Over Texas (Dreamcatcher Series Book 2)

by Tessa Gray

  From the time she and Rachel had headed up to Big Bend, Meredith realized it was wrong to burden Rachel with her problems. People were busy with their own lives, why should they care about hers? She was finally getting a dose of her own self-centeredness. She deserved everything she got. But payback was a true bitch.

  She gazed out into the vast landscape, marveling at the beauty of the Big Bend Park which seemed to stretch out forever, much like her life had been as a child. But everything had changed. At thirty-nine, half her life had passed her by, and she had little to show for it. She stared down at the cliffs below, wondering what it would feel like to just throw in the towel.

  You’ll never make it on your own, Meredith. You don’t even have a college degree. How will you manage? Her mother’s words reverberated throughout her head. She’d disappointed her parents so many times. It occurred to her that her parents could no doubt do a better job raising Carly and Travis than she could. Most mothers had great instincts when it came to child-rearing. If it was intuitive, she was in deep trouble. Her daughter had already chosen the wrong path.

  They’re better off without you.

  She stood frozen in place, wondering what it would feel like to lean a little too close to the edge and just let go, letting her body float through the air like a feather. It wouldn’t, of course, because of gravity. Rather than float, she’d plummet through the air and land god knows where.

  It scared her that she was even contemplating what it would feel like to jump.

  People who kill themselves burn in hell.

  Her old minister had always said that, always warned his parishioners that committing suicide was a one-way ticket to hell.

  She felt a deep aching in her chest and considered perhaps she already was in hell with no escaping.

  That’s when she heard footsteps directly to her left.

  She paused, listening intently. She turned slightly, and noticed the physique of a tall man. She couldn’t make out who it was, so she decided to stand quietly and let him pass. When the footsteps stopped, she suspected he might be taking a picture of something.

  She could hear him breathing now, and it grew more labored as she stood there.

  “Meredith.” His tone was a whisper and she realized it was Adam Lightfoot.

  “What do you want?”

  “Please step back from the ledge . . . please.” He was pleading with her now, his tone softer than usual.

  She closed her eyes, remembering once again the little girl sitting on the dock with her entire life stretched ahead of her. When her heart began fluttering, she considered maybe it was breaking. Was this how a broken heart truly felt? It felt as though her chest was torn open and she was bleeding from the inside out.

  “Funny how nothing turns out like you think it will. Did you ever have big dreams, Adam?” She heard the pain in her own voice and wondered why she was opening herself up to this man who appeared to detest her.

  “Yes.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I did have big dreams . . . once.”

  “My life’s a total fuck-up, Adam. Of course, you already know that.” She’d moved closer to the ledge, kicking several grains of dirt to the side. “Excuse my language. I was raised better. Of course, I’ve strayed pretty far from the fold.”

  Her heart pounded as she realized that she was actually toying with the idea of ending it all here. Hard to believe it’d come to that.

  “Meredith . . .”

  “You don’t need to slip into your social worker’s mode, Adam. I’m not worth saving. You, of all people, should know that.”

  “Meredith, please . . . for the love of god, don’t do this. Step back from the ledge.”

  She turned to look at him, to make sure he wasn’t going to do anything stupid and come out to try and save her. But when she spun back around, she caught her foot on a large rock.

  As her body pitched forward, she splayed out her hands to break the fall. She gripped the edge of the cliff and realized she was dangerously close to toppling over the edge. As her body continued moving forward, she realized the momentum of her fall was shifting her weight.

  Crying aloud, she frantically dug her feet into the ground, trying to stop herself. But it was too late, the forward motion of her fall began taking over. It really was the end.

  She heard the panic in Adam’s deep voice reverberating against the hard rock. “Meredith, hang on. For god’s sake, don’t die on me!”

  But her hands were trembling as her fingers clung to the slippery rock. When she realized that it was the end, she heard herself scream.

  Chapter 8

  Adam frantically hoisted himself down to the ledge directly below Meredith. It was nothing short of a miracle that there was a four-foot strip that he could crouch down on. As Meredith began slipping from the ledge above, he lunged forward, trying desperately to break her fall.

  The timing was perfect, and once she began sliding from the ledge, he threw himself on her, knowing his weight would stop the forward motion. She gasped as his body toppled hers, and when he heard her breathing nearly stop, he rolled off her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he yanked her body hard, dragging her back to the safety of a large rock directly behind them.

  His eyes scanned a way for the two of them to exit the lower ledge they were on, and to his surprise he spotted a narrow path that would lead them to safety. He breathed a sigh of relief, deciding that maybe there was such a thing as a miracle, after all.

  Without waiting for Meredith to regain her composure, he placed both arms about her and led her down the path to safety.

  But once they were out of harm’s way, he wasted little time lighting into her. “What the hell did you think you were doing? Don’t ever pull a stunt like that again. My god. We could have both been killed,” he said, anger flashing in his eyes.

  Removing his jacket, he placed it on top of her. She continued shaking, so he pulled her into a sitting position, directing her to lean against him.

  He pulled her into his arms, and she sighed. She buried her face into his chest and cried so intensely she nearly lost her breath.

  He was struggling for words now, trying to think of something to say that would give her hope. Of course, he had been down this same road when they’d lost Grace. And although it had been nearly eight years, he couldn’t think of anything to say that would offer comfort her. Except, of course, that although the pain would always be there, with time, it would lessen.

  But that would no doubt provide little comfort to a woman whose life appeared to be unraveling.

  When she suddenly moved away from him, he gripped her harder, afraid if he turned her loose she would make a dash for the ledge again. And he had the feeling that this time, she might follow through.

  “Adam, please. Let me go.” He reached over, forcing her to turn and face him as the tears now streamed down her face.

  Instinctively he pulled her closer, cradling the top of her head with his hands. When her body went limp, he realized she’d finally stopped fighting him.

  Drawing her knees to her chest, she continued weeping softly, and for the first time since he’d met this woman, he realized how totally vulnerable she really was. Fragile didn’t begin to describe Meredith Chapman, and he suspected that beneath all that arrogance and bluster lay a woman whose body was so ravaged by pain she could barely function.

  “You saved my life, Adam.” She brushed several tears away, and when he didn’t respond to what she said, Meredith continued talking. “Right now, I don’t feel grateful for what you did for me, but I suspect in time, I will.”

  After she said it he waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. That was probably as close to a ‘thank you’ as he’d get from her.

  Clearing his throat, he contemplated telling her about his own past but
after thinking it over, he made the decision to focus on her healing rather than share his story.

  As he stared deeply into her blue eyes, it was clear to him that Meredith couldn’t continue down this path of self-destruction. She’d need help. No one could face the obstacles she had and not fall apart. Whether or not she’d accept help remained to be seen.

  “There probably isn’t a person alive who’s not been pushed to the limit. And you clearly have been. You need to tell Rachel what almost happened,” he said.

  When she didn’t acknowledge his words, he continued talking. “You need to get professional help, Meredith. I’m serious about this.”

  “This was just a fluke . . .”

  Denial. Yup. She needed help.

  “It wasn’t a fluke, Meredith, and you know it. I’m serious about your getting some help.”

  She gazed up at him, her deep, blue eyes clouding. “You’re not going to let this go, are you? About me seeking help, I mean.”

  “You’re right, Meredith. I’m not going to let this go.”

  She looked away briefly, and this time when she made eye contact again, there was pain. He suspected she was coming to terms with the fact she could no longer handle things alone. When she inhaled deeply, and let out a long sigh, he realized she’d finally resigned herself to the fact that this journey was far from over.

  Her lower lip trembled as she blinked back tears. It was all he could do not to kiss away her tears, to shield her from the pain. Where this sudden need to soothe her was coming from confused him.

  She stared out into the distance, her legs crossed as she leaned against a large rock. “When I was a kid, my friend, Gloria and I used to sit outside, gazing at the stars. We had our whole lives ahead of us. There’s no feeling in the world like that, Adam. Is there?”

  “No, I suspect not.”

  “The two of us used to sit out on the dock for hours, dreaming about what our lives would be like. I was supposed to become an astronaut and have a gazillion kids. Imagine that, Adam. A gazillion. I can’t even handle the two I have. Of course, back then, the sky was the limit, wasn’t it? When we were kids, I mean.”

  He exhaled sharply, relieved she was finally opening up.

  She hesitated for several seconds, twirling a lock of hair. It occurred to him he should probably say something, provide some type of comfort, but words eluded him now as he watched a woman who’d had big plans, only to have them all dashed aside as time marched on. It was a brutal lesson, one he’d learned a long time ago.

  “I . . . I’m not sure I can fix this, Adam.”

  When she began crying again, he wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb. As she cried harder now, he finally found the right words. “You can’t do everything on your own. No one can. Reach out to people around you. Give us a chance to help you. I know it doesn’t look as though things will get better, Meredith, but I promise you, they will.”

  She wrapped her arms about his neck, squeezing him as though he was offering her a lifeline. As she choked back more tears, he could barely make out what she was saying.

  “I hope so, Adam. Oh, god. I surely hope so.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Rachel glanced over at the two guys as she and Meredith prepared the evening meal. Something was odd, here, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Ever since Adam and Meredith returned back to the campsite, the two of them had been behaving strangely. Up until now Mere had detested the guy, and now, the two of them appeared to be inseparable.

  She shook her head, hoping Meredith hadn’t done anything stupid. The woman had been out in the woods with Adam Lightfoot for over an hour. Just enough time. When she saw Meredith stare over at Adam, an odd expression on her face, Rachel suspected the two of them might have had sex. Which, of course, was the very last thing Meredith needed. Jumping into a relationship that fast could prove too emotionally draining for Mere at this point in her life.

  She broached the topic delicately. “You and Adam seem joined at the hip.” When Meredith didn’t respond, Rachel pressed her. “Seriously, I thought you couldn’t stand the guy. He’s barely left your side ever since the two of you got back to the campsite. What’s up with that?”

  “Nothing’s up with that, Rachel,” Meredith said, pulling lettuce apart for the salad.

  “You didn’t do anything stupid, did you?”

  “Of course not, not that it’s any of your business.”

  “That’s a relief.” Rachel stirred the chili they were cooking, staring down at the bubbling concoction. It was Jake’s favorite, and that probably accounted for the three trips he’d made over to the women as they cooked, testing the recipe each time.

  “Rachel, let me put your mind at rest, here. The last thing I need in my life right now is a relationship. I get that. But I don’t need someone to lecture me on the perils of casual sex, trust me.” Meredith glanced over at Adam again, and he dipped his head slightly.

  It looked as though he and Meredith had some kind of code language going on, Rachel thought. Whatever had happened in the woods had changed her friend significantly. She had never been one to kiss and tell though, so maybe Rachel would never know. “The two of you look mighty chummy all of a sudden. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Rachel, nothing happened.” After Meredith said it, she grew quiet, and Rachel realized she’d struck a nerve. “And seriously, Adam’s different than you think. He’s actually a pretty decent guy. I’ve misjudged him.”

  “I’m not a big fan of Adam’s. I’ll be very honest here. He’s a little too secretive for my taste. The guy’s been divorced for ages and has yet to talk to anyone about his ex. Jake knows almost nothing about his personal life, either. And just between us, I think that’s creepy.”

  “Adam might just be onto something, not telling the entire world about his divorce. Maybe some things are better left unsaid.” Meredith continued gazing over at him, an odd expression on her face. “Adam’s actually a good listener. Some of us could take a lesson from him.”

  “Cripes, has the guy brainwashed you, Mere? You don’t know much about him. I’d keep my distance if I were you. Besides, like you said, the last thing you need right now is a relationship.”

  “Why don’t you head over to spend some time with Jake? I’ll finish up here. The meal’s nearly done. I’ll call you when it’s ready.” This was Meredith’s polite way of asking her to get lost.

  Taking the cue, Rachel walked over to where the two men stood. Adam broke away and walked toward Meredith.

  ~ ~ ~

  “You didn’t tell her, did you?” Adam glared at Meredith, waiting for her reply.

  “I, I was going to . . .”

  “You can’t just pretend this never happened, Meredith. I’m here to tell you that life isn’t that simple.”

  “And I’m such a freaking simpleton that I think it is?”

  He regretted pushing her too hard and quickly reached over, placing both of his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

  “I just don’t want to upset Rachel. She’s having such a good time with Jake. I’ll just be a wet blanket if I throw all this at her. I probably never should have come here. I’ll bet the kids are driving Kelsey and Nathan crazy.”

  She was staring down at the chili, and it wasn’t until he touched her cheek that she looked back up at him. “Stop worrying about everyone else, Meredith, and focus on yourself. I’m sure the kids are fine, and as far as dampening Rachel’s mood, I doubt that will happen once you tell her. I don’t know her all that well, but I suspect once you tell her what happened, she’ll swing into action.”

  His comment made her smile. “She does like to rescue people.”

  As Adam studied Meredith, he realized that things had shifted between them now, at least, from
his perspective. The woman he’d considered arrogant and self-centered cared deeply about how her suicide attempt would impact her friends. Maybe only now was he seeing the real Meredith Chapman for the very first time.

  “So you’ll tell her?”

  Meredith gazed up at him again as her lips parted into a smile. “I know that she and Jake want to spend the night together. Just trust me. I’ll talk to her in the morning, okay?”

  As their eyes locked, he contemplated her request.

  ~ ~ ~

  Meredith waited for Adam to answer her question. It was as if his dark eyes penetrated right through her, the amber flecks glowing like hot coals. He hesitated before answering.

  “You’re right. From the looks of things, they do plan on spending the night together. Guess we will be spending some time together. I hate the thought of you being alone,” he said earnestly.

  His comment stunned her, and she didn’t know what to make of his request. It could mean several things.

  She decided to inject humor into what was becoming a slightly awkward situation. Staring up at him, she asked the obvious. “Is this a proposition?”

  Adam’s eyes widened and he stood quietly, not saying anything. He began fidgeting with the plates she’d stacked near the portable stove, and she found it almost humorous to watch him try and come up with an answer. “No, oh, god, umm, no, I just mean that . . .”

  “So you don’t want to sleep with me, then?” Meredith asked, suppressing a grin. It felt unbelievingly refreshing to be able to joke about something this man obviously took very seriously. She was finally getting her groove back.

  His face reddened, and he stared at her, a look of sheer fright creeping across his face.

  When she laughed at his reaction, his face turned even redder.

  And then he did something totally unexpected. He reached for her hand, squeezing it hard. Once again his gaze penetrated her, left her too numb to speak, and she waited for him to say whatever was on his mind. His deep, baritone voice was gentle as he finally answered her question. “You’re an incredibly attractive woman, Meredith. Under normal circumstances, any man in his right mind would jump at the chance.”