by MJ Summers
“Yes, I see. Thank you for the tip,” Trey answered, turning again to look out as they slowly passed a group of shirtless boys playing soccer in a small dirt patch.
Then suddenly, within only one block it seemed, he was surrounded by luxury apartments, gated homes, and stores displaying designer clothing in the windows. Tall, lush tropical trees flanked the road, providing shade to the upscale coffee shops and bistros tucked in behind them. Here the men were dressed in crisp shirts and tailored suits, and the women hurried along in heels and oversized sunglasses. Some held the hands of equally well-dressed children who looked bored, as though they longed to be barefoot playing soccer somewhere. Trey felt as out of place here as he had in the poorer district.
He closed his eyes for a moment, realizing how good it felt to rest them with a long, slow blink. Including two delays, he had been en route for over twenty hours now. He was emotionally and physically drained, his long legs cramped up from going so many hours without stretching them out. Looking at his watch, he realized he should be at his commencement ceremony right now. He sighed, knowing he would never get that moment back, but it was nothing compared to the lost moments in Gabriela’s life.
He had called his parents as soon as he got back from the beach to give them the sad news and to tell them not to come to San Diego because he’d be somewhere over South America come Saturday. They were in nearly as much shock as he was. His mom had wept at the thought of her grandson having no mother. His dad had been more pragmatic about the entire thing, peppering Trey with a host of questions he couldn’t answer about how he intended to care for his child. When it had become clear that Trey had no plan yet, his father quickly switched over to making suggestions.
Trey had spent the next three days packing, booking flights and visiting the Brazilian consulate. He had to go there to have them file and stamp the DNA test and admission of paternity forms that had been completed when Tomas was a baby. That appointment alone had taken hours, but as the man at the consulate explained, this was nothing compared to the road ahead of Trey. He would first have to hope that Gabriela’s parents wouldn’t fight him for custody of his son. If they did, it would likely take years to get Tomas to the US, if Trey even won in the end. The man couldn’t estimate the length of time the legal proceedings would take if the Ferreiras didn’t fight him, but he did warn Trey that the court system moves very slowly. Trey had no idea where he would get the money for any of it. For now, he would take things one step at a time. The first step was to find his little boy in a city of eleven million.
His thoughts turned to Gabriela, a lump forming in his throat for both her and Tomas. Tomas was so young that his mother would be little more than a vague memory for him. When Trey had spoken with Alessandra, she’d told him the details of Gabriela’s tragic death. She explained that the owner of the heroin had left it on the table to go get a friend, only to return a few minutes later to find Gabriela sprawled lifeless on the floor. They’d called an ambulance but it was already too late.
Trey’s gut churned with anger and fear of what was to come. Why the hell would someone leave their drugs out for anyone to find? And how could Gabriela have been so irresponsible? She was a mother, for God’s sake. What was she doing taking drugs like that? Now she had left her son without a mom and Trey with the task of raising their child alone. A child he barely knew would be stuck with him, someone who was basically a stranger to Tomas, but worse than that, someone who didn’t have the first clue about raising children. Someone with no means to do so.
Guilt crowded in as soon as Trey allowed his anger to reach the forefront of his mind. What kind of parent had he been? Tomas had seen him on Skype every few weeks but was too little to understand the connection between them. The word dad had been little more than an empty title up to this point. Trey had planned to visit and start sending money, but he had never imagined he would raise Tomas. The thought terrified him. Could he even be trusted to raise a human being properly? With good morals and values and manners and enough responsibility and confidence to make it in this world?
As the cab turned a corner, his stomach flipped over. He seriously doubted that he could do it. Trey’s shoulders dropped. At age twenty-four, he was preparing to start a new chapter in his life, one that was going to test his limits in every way.
Five
Trey soon arrived at Gabriela’s apartment, sweaty and bone tired. He rubbed his hand over his chin, feeling the two-day-old stubble that he wished he could have cleaned up before getting there. He would have liked to make a better impression than that of a sweaty, unkempt man. Taking a deep breath, he gently knocked on the door and waited.
A moment later, he heard the chain being unlatched and the door was opened. A young woman stood before him and smiled solemnly. His first thought was how serious she seemed. Then how naturally lovely she was, with impossibly huge grey eyes and full lips. His next thought was that there was no way he should be thinking that last thing.
“Hello, Trey. I’m Alessandra. Welcome.” Her voice was quiet. “Tomas is napping right now.” She moved aside to give him room to come in.
“Hi, Alessandra. I wondered if he might be asleep. How’s he doing?” Cool air refreshed Trey as soon as he stepped into the large space. The luxury of quiet comfort was a sharp contrast to the congested heat he’d found himself in during the final leg of his long journey.
Alessandra turned to lock the door behind him. “He doesn’t really understand what’s happened. I have told him his mom is gone, but she’s been gone for a few weeks now so he thinks she’ll come back. I don’t know how long it will take before he understands.”
Trey scrunched his eyes shut, trying to block out his emotions. Instead of answering, he just nodded.
“You must be very tired.” Alessandra walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She poured him some water from a jug and handed it to him. There was a wariness in her eyes as she stared at him, a look that made Trey a little uncomfortable.
He took the glass and gulped back the cold liquid, feeling it slide down his throat. “Thank you. I am a little tired; it was a long trip. I’m a total mess too. I could use a shower, if you don’t mind. I don’t want this to be his first impression of me.”
“Of course. Right this way,” she replied, leading him to a bathroom down the hall and switching on the light. Towels were laid out on the counter, already waiting for him.
“I won’t wake Tomas, will I?” he asked.
“No. This is my bathroom. His room is at the end of the hall. I’ll prepare something for you to eat when you get out.” She gave him a little nod, then left.
* * *
Alessandra cut up some onion, potatoes and carrots and put them in a pan along with a bit of olive oil, then lit the burner underneath. She thought about Trey as she worked. He seemed polite enough and he’d been considerate in not wanting to wake Tomas, so those were good signs. He was much younger than she thought he’d be. Now that she had met him, it seemed impossible that he was the owner of a large guest ranch. It seemed much more likely that Gabriela had bent the truth somehow to suit herself.
Taking a skirt steak out of the fridge, she sliced it into quarters as she tried to make sense of what she’d been told. Whatever he did for a living, he was certainly handsome. Those hazel eyes that matched Tomas’s were absolutely mesmerizing. And that smile. Something about it made her stomach flutter a little in spite of herself. She could see how he’d managed to gain Gabriela’s attention. Alessa found herself wishing she’d taken her sister’s advice and put on a little makeup and something pretty to wear before he arrived. She knew she looked plain with her dark brown hair tied back in a no-nonsense ponytail and a sundress that was a little too big.
Admonishing herself for these frivolous thoughts, she mashed a couple of cloves of garlic with the side of a knife, then sprinkled a pinch of salt onto the garlic. Betina’s meaningless priorities had gotten into her own head. All that really mattered was that Trey intended to l
eave with Tomas, and the thought of it made her sick with worry. She’d grown so close to the little boy that a sense of protectiveness had come over her, and it had grown fiercely strong in the days since Gabriela’s death.
Patting the steak dry, she rubbed it with pepper, salt and a little bit of fresh parsley. She added vegetable oil to a skillet and waited for it to sizzle before adding the meat. In a separate pan, she began heating garlic butter, which sent a delicious aroma through the air. Her work was interrupted by the sound of Trey clearing his throat behind her. Alessandra turned and looked up at him. He looked like a different person in the way that men do after a shave and a shower. He was wearing a clean white T-shirt that was a little rumpled from its long journey, and slightly baggy navy plaid shorts hung from his narrow hips.
“That might be the best smell this nose has ever had the luck of encountering.” He took a deep, appreciative breath, closing his eyes for a second.
Alessandra waved off his compliment with one hand. “No, this is nothing.”
“Well, Alessandra, it smells like something to me.” He smiled at her. There was something so disarming about his smile. It had a genuine warmth to it that made her want to trust him. But she wasn’t going to be fooled by a gorgeous face like she had been in the past. She owed it to Tomas to determine Trey’s true character. She opened a cupboard door, then stood on her tiptoes to reach a glass jug on the top shelf.
“Here. Let me help,” Trey offered, getting it down and handing it to her. Her fingers brushed against his as she took it from him, sending an unwanted thrill through her entire body.
Turning to hide the heat in her cheeks, she replied, “Thank you,” as she tested the vegetables with a fork.
* * *
A few minutes later, Trey sat down at a table facing a large picture window, taking in the shimmer of the city in the late afternoon sun. Concrete and glass seemed to go on almost as far as the eye could see, stopping abruptly at the lush green mountains beyond. He longed to be somewhere in those mountains, somewhere quiet. He longed to be home, even though he didn’t know what that meant at the moment. California wasn’t home. Neither was Colorado, anymore. The thought made his chest feel heavy. He had no home to go to, no home to bring Tomas to, either.
Alessandra set down a heaping plate of food in front of him, temporarily distracting him from his sadness. She sat opposite Trey with her own modest portion, and the pair ate in awkward silence for a few minutes. Small talk seemed too trivial given the circumstances.
The sound of two little feet slapping against the tile floor caused them both to look across the kitchen. Tomas was rubbing his eyes and holding a silky blue blanket to his cheek as he made a beeline for his nanny. He crawled up onto her lap and snuggled himself against her chest for a moment before turning his eyes to Trey.
Trey put down his fork, suddenly feeling his heart jump into his throat. This was the first time he’d been in the same room as his son since Tomas was a baby. They were basically strangers and yet this moment was to be the first of a lifetime together. From now on, he was charged with fulfilling this little boy’s every need. He smiled cautiously at Tomas, who was staring at Trey with his little eyebrows knit together.
“Hey, Tomas,” Trey said softly, feeling emotions that were entirely new to him bubble to his throat. “It’s me. Your dad.”
Tomas lifted his head off Alessandra’s chest and stared at him for a moment before looking up at her, as if for confirmation.
Smiling down at him, she said, “Yes, this is your father. Remember I told you he was coming today?”
Tomas nodded and then looked at Trey. “Dad from ’puter.”
Trey chuckled and nodded back. “That’s right, little man. Dad from the computer. Only now I’m here in real life.” He wanted so badly for his son to run to him and climb up onto his lap for a huge hug, but he knew he would need to wait for that.
Tomas rested his head against Alessandra for a second and stared at Trey before scrambling off her lap and hurrying out of the room. Trey watched, his face full of concern. A moment later, Tomas returned with a grin on his face that very much matched his father’s.
He stopped in front of Trey. In his little hands were two toy horses bearing cowboy figures on their backs. Trey had sent them for his birthday. “Pay towboys, Dad!”
Trey pushed his chair back from his partly eaten meal, holding his hand out for a toy. He followed Tomas to the living room coffee table, shooting a surprised smile to Alessandra over his shoulder. “That sounds great, Tomas. Let’s play cowboys.”
Six
“There’s no way he owns a ranch. If I had to guess, I’d say he was a ranch hand, if that’s even where Gabriela met him. He looks very young—close to my age—but that’s all I figured out. We didn’t get a chance to talk much. Tomas seemed to take to him right away, so they played the entire evening, which was very sweet, actually.” Alessandra was sitting on the balcony, talking on the phone with her sister. She could picture Betina lying on her stomach on her bed, phone in hand and feet waving in the air lazily.
“Sweet? So, does this mean you might be able to trust him to raise a chicken, or is he good looking?”
“Maybe to raising a chicken, yes to being good looking.”
“Really? How handsome?”
“Too handsome. Impossible-not-to-notice-type handsome,” Alessandra admitted reluctantly.
* * *
A few minutes later, Alessandra hung up the phone and stared out at the city for a moment. She longed to be at the farm with her family. It would be quiet there, with only the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves on the orange trees. The stars would be out in all their glory right now, not competing with the millions of lights that surrounded her. To Alessandra, there was no place on earth safer or more peaceful than the farm. Nothing ever changed there. It was always the same—steady, calm, full of beauty and an old-world charm that grounded her in the traditions and simple pleasures of a way of life that was disappearing from the world. There was never any reason to rush, only to experience life’s little moments to the fullest. Not like here, where the world seemed to move at a pace that caused her head to spin. There was no one who ever made her feel as special as her grandfather, who looked at her and Betina as though they were the most precious humans to have ever lived. On the farm, she wasn’t just another university student. She was cherished, important even.
She also missed her little sister badly. They were only a year apart and had shared everything until the day Alessandra had left for university. A sick feeling settled over her when she thought of school. She rested her elbows on the glass tabletop and pressed her face to her hands, groaning. Her family had been counting on her to finish law school and start earning a good living to help them out, but now the amount of work she had left to do in the next month seemed almost insurmountable.
Her worrying was halted by the sound of the patio door sliding open behind her. She turned quickly to see Trey standing there in a T-shirt and shorts. He stepped out onto the patio and slid the screen shut.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
Alessandra gave him a small smile and nodded. “Of course. Couldn’t sleep?”
“I slept hard for a while there, but now that I’m up, I’m up. I should have taken your advice and tried to resist sleep until bedtime here.”
“You’ll get yourself straightened out soon enough. What time is it in San Diego?” Alessandra asked. She tugged her pink cardigan tighter around her and crossed her arms, feeling suddenly self-conscious around someone so handsome.
“Hmm, we’re four hours behind you, so I guess it’s suppertime there,” Trey answered, plunking himself in the chair next to hers.
“Are you hungry? I can make you something.”
Trey shook his head. “No. I’m fine. Thank you, though. You don’t have to cook for me. I can always get myself something if you don’t mind me poking around in your kitchen.”
“It’s not my kitchen, so go a
head,” Alessandra said with a hint of a smile.
“And if it were your kitchen?”
Alessandra thought about the question before answering. “I actually still wouldn’t mind.” She laughed at her earlier attempt to be ominous. Trey joined in, surprising her with how pleasing the sound of his laughter was—it was deep and friendly.
When the moment passed, Alessandra studied Trey as he looked out over the city, his expression suddenly solemn. “This must all be quite a shock for you.”
Trey nodded, keeping his gaze far away. “Yeah, it is. I’ve hardly slept since I found out. I keep thinking about her and what happened. It’s just so awful, you know?” His voice was quiet and thick with emotion.
Alessandra nodded. “It really is,” she replied softly. “I’m very sorry for all three of you. Especially for her and for Tomas, having no mother to love him. But also for you. You must have cared for her a great deal, even though you weren’t together anymore.”
Trey wore a strange expression for a moment, one that Alessa couldn’t read.
“My heart is really only hurting for the two of them and everything they’ve both lost. I can’t stop thinking about it. Now the poor kid is going to be stuck with me, and to tell you the truth, when it comes to raising a child, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” Trey let out a puff of air, glancing over at her, his face full of doubt.
Alessandra smiled reassuringly at him, her heart breaking a little at seeing him so worried. “You’ll figure it out.”
“God, I hope so.”
“People a lot less intelligent than you manage to raise children. You can do it too. Just be patient with yourself. You might not always know what the right thing to do is, but if you learn from your mistakes, you’ll get him where he needs to go in life. The important thing is to be there for Tomas, to guide him and care for him.”