by MJ Summers
Hello, Alessa. I got back from Portugal late last night. We’re all going out tonight. Rodeo, then dancing! You HAVE to come with us! I missed you way TOO much!
She stared at the text for a moment before deciding. Why the hell not? Her husband was going to do whatever the hell he wanted to, so she might as well start to do the same.
So glad you’re home, Cyssah! I wouldn’t miss your first night out for anything. What time?
Going into the main house, she asked her mother to watch Tomas for her. “I need a night out.”
“Sure. I was just going to read anyway. You okay?” Lorena narrowed her eyes, and Alessandra knew the tension between her and Trey had not gone unnoticed.
Alessa gave her what she hoped looked like a confident smile. “Yes, of course, everything is fine. I’m just going out with Cyssah. She got back from her trip last night and we want to get caught up.”
The look on her mother’s face made it clear Alessandra wasn’t fooling anyone, but she agreed anyway. “Okay. I’m here if you need to talk.”
“I know.”
* * *
Alessandra waited until her mother had left to be with Tomas before mixing herself a pitcher of very strong caipirinha. She dug through what was left in Betina’s closet and found a flirty little black number. On Alessandra, the dress allowed so much cleavage to pop out the top, she looked almost indecent. But she didn’t care. Why should she, when Trey certainly didn’t seem to?
She took her wedding ring off and left it on Betina’s dresser before starting on her hair and makeup. She sang along to the radio as she let her hair down and ran a curling iron through it to tame her wild curls into big, sexy waves that trailed over her shoulders and down her back. Bright red lipstick made her full lips impossible to miss. As she surveyed the results in the mirror, she smiled at her slightly hazy reflection. She looked hot. Maybe for the first time in her entire life. The sound of Cyssah’s car prompted her to gulp back the last of her drink before she rushed out, giggling to herself as she fumbled with the front door.
Twenty minutes later, Cyssah locked up her car and the two started for the small stadium grounds. “I’m so excited you came out! And I still can’t believe that dress you’re wearing. It’s so . . . daring.”
“I wanted to see what it would be like to go over to the wild side for a change. But is it too much?” She wrinkled up her nose, suddenly unsure of her choice.
“No. Not at all. I’m just not used to seeing you like this. You’re definitely going to attract some attention tonight.”
“Good. That’s my goal,” Alessandra said, waving a finger in the air.
Cyssah told Alessa about her trip as they paid their admission and stepped into the loud stadium. Alessandra realized her friend didn’t yet know that she was married, but she had no desire to tell her. There was really no need, was there? Trey hadn’t even told his own parents about her.
Cyssah’s voice interrupted her stewing. “Oh, good! We didn’t miss the bull riding!”
Alessandra’s stomach flipped at the thought of watching Trey ride a bull. She was going to need more booze. “Come on. Let’s go get some drinks first.”
A few minutes later, Alessandra had one drink in each hand and one new cowboy on each side of her. She and Cyssah were chatting with the men when the announcer’s voice boomed over the tinny speakers. “And now, we’ve got a special treat! We have Trey Johnson from the USA! Let’s give him a big Brazilian welcome!”
Alessandra’s back stiffened as the crowd cheered and applauded him. She turned, searching for Trey. Her eyes fell on him as he sat on top of a bull in the chute. Her heart lurched as she watched the enormous white animal try to slam Trey’s leg against the gate. He continued to wrap the rope around his gloved hand, looking as calm as if he were sitting on a kitchen chair. Her entire body responded to the sight of him like that, looking so cool in spite of the fact that he was sitting on top of a dangerous two-thousand pound animal. How was that possible?
Just as the gate swung open, Trey glanced up and their eyes met. A look of confusion crossed his face as the bull’s back legs reared up with violent force. She watched as Trey lost his balance for a split second. He slid to one side of the bull but somehow managed to recover and stay on. Alessandra felt completely helpless seeing the man she loved fighting to stay on top of a fierce beast who wanted nothing more than to be free of his rider. Trey got tossed into the air, landing hard on his shoulder in the dirt. She watched as the bull bore down on him and Trey turned to look back instead of getting out of the way.
“Run!” she screamed.
Trey scrambled to his feet and took off for the fence as one of the bullfighters slapped the bull on his hindquarters to get his attention. The bull spun away from Trey, giving him a chance to escape the ring.
Alessandra’s knees went weak as she thought of what she’d just seen. He was kidding himself if he thought this wasn’t going to end with him getting horribly hurt. But she wasn’t going to sit at home worrying about him. Screw him if he wanted to ride bulls and pretend he wasn’t married. She could pretend too. She watched as he climbed the fence, knowing he was going to come find her now. Good. Let him see what it is like to be married to someone who likes to walk on the wild side.
* * *
Trey scaled the fence and flew over it, his heart pounding in his ears. Humiliated at getting bucked off on such an easy ride, he slapped the dust off his chaps and started around to the other side of the stadium to find Alessandra. He’d completely lost his concentration when he saw her there. What the hell is she wearing? That dress is smaller than most of her nighties. And who the fuck are those guys with her?
He stormed around the ring, flexing his muscles and gearing up for a fight. His eyes finally settled on her back and legs, both of which were displaying far too much of her honey-coloured skin for his liking. Cracking his knuckles, he glanced at the men with her, seeing that they were bull riders who had already finished up for the night. He watched as she had a sip of whatever drink was in her hand, then laughed at something one of the guys said. Rage and possessiveness coursed through his veins. Reaching the group, he grabbed her arm and kept moving without slowing down.
Alessandra jerked her wrist away from him, spilling her drink. She stopped, causing him to turn back to her.
He glared at her and spoke in a low, even tone. “What are you doing here? And what the hell are you wearing?”
“Oh, this? It’s my night-on-the-town dress. You don’t like it? Guess what? I don’t care, because it’s really none of your business what the nanny wears when she’s off duty!” she spat out.
Trey tugged off his vest, then quickly unbuttoned his shirt and yanked it off, leaving himself in only a T-shirt. “Put this on,” he ordered.
“No! I look fine. In fact, these nice gentleman have assured me I look quite hot.” She pushed the shirt away.
Trey spoke through his teeth, fighting to keep his patience. “Put this on, Alessa. Now. I don’t like these types of games.”
“And I don’t like being kept a secret from your family or all this bull riding shit. But you don’t care what I like, do you?” She had a nasty look on her face and her cheeks were flushed from too much booze. Her accent grew heavy as she spoke. “And now that I’ve seen you ride, I know I am right about this. You are fooling yourself if you think you’re good at it.”
“The only reason I fell was because you distracted me.”
“Oh no, I’m not the one who’s going to get you killed.” She shook her head. “What will get you killed is pausing so long to look for the bull after you get thrown.”
“That’s bullshit. I don’t do that.”
One of the other bull riders spoke up. “Yes you do. You can’t stop like that, man. You have to get out of the way or you’re going to get really hurt.”
Trey gave him a hard look, his nostrils flaring, before he turned back to Alessandra and put his fingers around her wrist. “Let’s go. You’re drunk an
d it’s time for you to go home.”
The girl standing next to her tried to brush his hand off Alessandra’s arm. “She can do what she wants, asshole. What’s it to you, anyway?”
He turned to her. “She’s. My. Wife.”
The girl’s head snapped back and she turned to Alessandra. “You got married? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because apparently it’s not worth talking about.” She shrugged Trey’s hand off her arm and stared at him defiantly. Looking back at the other men, she smiled. “Now, weren’t we all making plans to go dancing?”
Trey shook his head. “Jesus Christ, Alessa, don’t make me go all alpha male here.”
“I’m not making you do anything. I’m going out dancing with my new friends. But you should go home now that you’ve lost.” She turned to leave, teetering in her heels. No one followed her, so she spun back to them. “What? Let’s go, Cyssah!”
The other men stared at their boots and Cyssah gave her an uncomfortable look. “If you’re really married, this isn’t the way to solve anything. Besides, this isn’t you, Alessandra. I’ll give you a ride home if you like.”
Alessandra looked shocked. “Muito obrigada, que grande amiga você é!” Her words were unmistakably sarcastic in any language. She turned again, crossing her arms in front of herself and hurrying away.
Trey reached down and grabbed his vest off the ground before following her. Part of him was tempted to let her go, but he couldn’t very well let her walk around late at night on her own. Certainly not dressed like that. He caught up with her as she passed through the stadium gates to the parking lot and walked silently beside her for a minute. He was furious and hurt.
“Leave me alone,” she said defiantly.
“Nope. Can’t do that, sorry. Even if you were a total bitch to me just now.”
She stopped walking and stared up at him. “That’s a horrible thing to say to your wife.”
“Yeah, well, you just said some pretty awful shit to me back there in front of a bunch of people.”
“You deserved it!” She poked him in the chest as she yelled.
“Maybe, but your friend back there is right. This isn’t you. You’re better than this.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be! Maybe I want to be irresponsible tonight instead of doing what everyone expects! What the hell does it matter to you anyway? I’m just the nanny.” She dropped her head and angled herself away from him as she started moving again. Pressing her hands to her neck, she shielded her chest with her arms to prevent anyone else from getting a glimpse.
“Oh, come on. I told you I’m sorry several times already. How long are you going to hold that over my head?”
She stopped and turned back to him. “Oh, so I’m not supposed to feel hurt anymore because you said sorry to me? You decide not to tell your own parents that we are together, that we are married, and then in a matter of hours I should feel better about everything? Here’s some news for you! That is not how women work when men betray us!” Alessa burst into tears in spite of herself. She had been trying to hold them in, but the booze, mixed with her anger and hurt, weakened her resolve.
Sighing, Trey covered her shoulders with his shirt, then took her in his arms, letting her sob into his chest. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you today. And I should have told them. I can call them right now if it helps.”
“It’s too late, Trey. You should have told them because you were proud to be marrying me. But you didn’t. You’ve been keeping our marriage a secret, which must mean you’re ashamed of me.” She backed away from him.
“That’s not what it means at all. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with being ashamed of you. Have you thought of how hurt my parents will be when they find out I got married without inviting them or even mentioning it to them? They’re going to be really disappointed, and it kills me that I’m going to hurt them again.”
She stared at him, teetering a bit. “That makes it worse! If you knew it would hurt them but you still didn’t tell them, it must mean you never really wanted to tell them. Which means you must not want to be my husband.” Her voice was too loud, and people in the parking lot were staring at them.
Trey shifted uncomfortably. “You’re drunk and you’re causing a scene. Let’s just go home. We can talk about this in the morning when you sober up.”
Miguel appeared out of nowhere at that moment. “There you are, man! I’ve been wondering where you—” He stopped, clearly understanding that for the second time today, he was interrupting what should have been a private moment.
Trey looked over at him, his face an admission that things were bad.
Alessandra sniffled and then turned to Miguel. “I need a ride home, Miguel. Can you drive me, please?”
Miguel glanced at Trey, his expression asking if that’s what Trey wanted.
Trey gave him a little nod.
“Okay, why don’t I drive you both home?” Miguel asked.
Trey left it up to Alessandra to answer for both of them, not wanting to spark another fight.
“Fine,” she said in a clipped tone.
Fine. There was that word again. He was starting to realize it might never mean what it was supposed to.
Thirty-Two
Late the next morning, Alessandra woke in her old bed in the main house. Justin Timberlake smiled down at her from the wall. Her stomach was raw and her throat burned. Then the humiliation of the night before settled in. Pulling the covers over her head, she lay very still, wishing for death. Or a time machine. Or death. That would be good right now. Then she wouldn’t have to feel so sick or face her husband ever again. Or her cousin. Or Cyssah. Shit.
A little knock at the door made her wince. “Lessa! Come play with me!”
“Okay, Tomas,” she croaked. “Give me a minute.”
Getting up, she realized how weak she felt as she pulled on her bathrobe. Her balance was off and her head was pounding. Opening the door, she gave Tomas a feeble smile. “I need to shower first. Can you go play with Vô for a bit? Or watch a cartoon?”
“Cartoon!” he said happily, waddling down the hall.
Twenty minutes later, Alessandra made her way to the kitchen, feeling slightly more human having showered and taken something for her headache. Lorena and Carlos were sitting at the table with Tomas, eating lunch.
“Good afternoon,” her mother said in a disapproving tone.
“Is there any coffee left?” she asked, ignoring her mother’s reproachful look.
“No. We drank it all.”
Alessa silently set to work filling the kettle. “Anyone else want tea?”
“No, thank you,” Carlos answered.
Alessa looked over at him and saw a look of pity on his face. At least he didn’t seem disappointed in her.
“Where’s Trey?” she asked finally.
“Back at the rodeo,” her mother answered. “They were doing another round of rides today. I guess Bruno talked them into letting him fill an empty spot.”
Alessa shut her eyes for a second. As much as she dreaded seeing him, she ached to apologize and try to fix everything. “Did he say when he’d be back?”
“He said after supper. Depends on how he does.”
“Okay.” She sat at the table and picked up a bun, ripping off small pieces and slowly popping them into her mouth one at a time.
Lorena reached into her pocket and then slapped Alessandra’s ring on the table. “You forgot this last night.”
Alessandra’s face turned red as she slid the ring off the table and onto her finger. “Thanks,” she said quietly.
“Maybe we should go watch him?” Carlos suggested.
“No. I don’t think it’s a good idea, Vô,” Alessa answered. “It’s distracting for him.”
Late that evening, after Alessandra had gotten Tomas to bed, she sat just outside the small house in an old wicker chair with her feet on its mate. She tried reading over a brief for work but the words just passed through her brain without sinki
ng in. Turning off the outside light she had been using, she settled onto the chair again, staring up at the stars and feeling sick with worry until she heard the sound of a truck, and then a door slamming. She watched as Trey walked across the yard toward her. He was moving slowly but he looked to be in one piece. In one hand he carried a large bag that held his riding gear. Her heart tugged at the sight of him. She wanted so badly to rush into his arms and apologize for how she’d acted, but then she remembered how angry and hurt she was.
He stilled for a moment, clearly noticing her sitting in the dark, then continued on.
“How’d you do?” she asked quietly.
“Not bad. Came in third.” He dropped the bag near the front door and looked at her. “So, you’re just sitting here in the dark?”
“I tried to work but I couldn’t concentrate, so I thought I’d stare at the stars and wait for you.” Alessandra moved her feet off the chair and slid it toward him.
Trey sat down, which she took to be a hopeful sign.
“I called my parents today,” he said.
Alessandra felt her stomach sink with guilt at what she’d put him through the night before. Her voice was tiny as she spoke. “How did it go?”
“They were pretty upset.”
Somehow, knowing this hurt Alessandra, even though she knew it shouldn’t. “I can imagine. What did they say?”
“My mom didn’t say much, mostly cried. My dad had all the same questions your mom had. Then he gave me shit for making my mom cry.” Trey’s voice was full of resignation.
“I’m sorry, Trey.”
He shook his head. “After I got off the phone I realized that I might be hurting them for no reason. The way you were acting last night made me think maybe you want out of this whole thing.”
“No, I don’t,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry about how I acted, Trey. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Sounds about right.”
“I humiliated us both and I said some horrible things to you.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks.
“Yup, you definitely did both of those things in a most spectacular way.”