by JC Calciano
“Okay, what happened last night?” Brody demanded. He was curious as to what was going on in Myles’ head and how he could be so inconsiderate of his best friend’s feelings. “And what were you thinking going to a stranger’s house in the middle of the night for a hook up?”
“It was your idea. I’m trying new things. Plus, you do it all the time.”
“I’m different.”
“How so?” Brody could tell Myles was becoming irritated.
“I’m a cop. I can take care of myself. You on the other hand...”
“Oh, please.” This had gone far enough, Myles thought. He didn’t have to put up with any more of it. Why was Brody behaving like this? He was a grown man and could do whatever he wanted. Besides, it was all Brody’s idea. How dare he give Myles such grief? If Myles had committed a crime by doing what he did last night, surely Brody had multiple violations of the same crime on his record!
“I know guys who are real creeps. I see what people are capable of!”
“I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But I can take care of myself, thank you.” Myles could see Brody was shaken by his disappearance. Did Brody genuinely care that something could have happened to Myles? Could he be this upset by his brief absence? Myles knew Brody cared about him, but not to such an extent. Myles suddenly realized that Brody’s anger was coming purely from a place of caring and concern. Myles’ part-annoyance quickly turned into a sweeter sentiment. He realized that Brody was afraid for the first time in a very long time that someone he cared about could have been in trouble. With that Myles gave Brody a warm smile.
At first Brody seemed to be taken aback, unsure what to make of Myles ridiculous grin.
Then each of them seemed to realize the jig was up and that Brody had been overreacting to Myles being missing because he really cared. Brody suddenly seemed to give in and approach the situation with humor. “Like you did that time when those girl scouts muscled you into buying a dozen boxes of cookies.” Brody broke out laughing.
“That wasn’t my fault.” Myles mock protested, the tension broken. “There were four of them and only one of me.”
“So, do you have a first name, Officer Garcia?” Diane asked as they leaned against an oversized file cabinet.
“It’s Richard.”
She grinned wickedly. “As in...?” Her eyes devoured his body and she tried to lead him down a very flirtatious path.
“Yes. Richard.” He clearly hadn’t picked up on the sexual innuendo.
Diane looked him over. She certainly wasn’t going to relent and give up on a man this hot. She wanted him, and badly. Moreover, she was going to get him. “Uh, huh. And you’re packing a lot of equipment there.” As she not so subtly looked down at his crotch.
Richard finally realized she wasn’t talking about his nightstick and gun. “We’re outfitted with the proper gear to handle any situation.”
Well, good, she thought. Playing dumb was only a pretense. She flirted her way and he responded his way. The attraction seems to be mutual, Diane thought. She hoped he wanted her as much as she wanted him. If so, why was he playing at being so hard to get? As the king of Siam used to say to his audiences each night, it was a puzzlement.
“I can see that.” All at once she was Mae West. “So what’s a girl gotta do to get her hands on your nightstick?” The playing continued. Myles and Brody on the other hand were done with their argument. Both resolved in what had happened and they were in agreement that they both needed to get on with their day.
“Look, I’ve got to get back to the station. Can we argue about this later?”
“Maybe, if I’m not too busy, Dad.” Myles said to drive his last point home. Brody shook his head and left the office to gather Richard and head back to their beat.
Diane shot Myles a quick look through the office door. She mouthed the words, “OH MY GOD” to Myles. She was clearly smitten. Myles knew she was a woman on a mission and her target was Richard.
Chapter 11
“So what’s with Diane?” Richard asked as they slipped into their police cruiser. Richard was wasting no time in getting the “411” about Diane.
“I know. I’m sorry you got stuck with her. She’s insane.” Brody rolled his eyes as he raised the volume on the dispatch radio.
“I felt like a piece of raw meat for her to chew on and spit out.” Richard gave Brody a big grin. “How awesome is that?”
“Wait. What?” Brody couldn’t hide his surprise. Richard and Diane? Nah, it would never work.
“Muy caliente.” The devilish grin and wagging eyebrows looked almost out of place on Richard’s usually more serious face.
“Diane? As in… you and Diane? No. Bad idea. You two couldn’t be more different.” Diane and his partner? He couldn’t believe it.
“Friction is what makes the heat, my friend. Besides, I’m packing... and I also carry a gun.”
“Let’s leave the bad sexual puns to me,” Brody said but he was pleased that his partner was finally developing a sense of humor after years of being very literal in his approach to life.
Richard turned serious. “So, what happened with Myles last night?” he asked Brody. “How and why had he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth?”
“He met some guy on Grindr and stayed with him all night. It was apparently a very active night. He said he didn’t wake up till almost eleven. I didn’t ask for the details but if I know Myles, he’s already smitten.”
“That’s great. Your plan worked.”
“I guess it did, right?” He should feel good about that, he thought; instead, he felt something he couldn’t quite place. Discouraged? But why? Things were working out in his favor.
“You should be happy. Looks like you’re off the hook. Beers on me tonight. You pick the place.”
He should be thrilled, Brody thought, but he wasn’t and didn’t know why. What a day he’d had so far. It was over now and nothing more to think about. Tonight drinks were on Richard. That was good enough for him.
Richard told Brody that he could pick the place. Of course, he picked his favorite dive bar complete with go-go boys and hot men. Why not? Brody thought. He’d been to his share of straight bars with Richard. It was only fitting that Richard come with him to his favorite. It was loud, as usual, and filled to capacity.
He and Richard now sat at the bar with drinks in front of them. Suddenly, a crotch gyrated in Richard’s face. It was Brody’s favorite go-go boy. Brody had tipped him heavily in the past, so this buff young dancer tried to coax a few tips out of Brody’s friend, obviously thinking he’d tip well too.
Richard leaned over toward Brody. “He clearly doesn’t know I carry a gun.”
“He likes you.” Brody took a five-dollar bill from his wallet and jammed it into the front of the dancer’s skimpy shorts to appease the dancer.
“Great. Now he’s going to like me that much more!”
“Hey, I’ve gone to enough titty bars. You can get your go-go on with me.”
“In that case, I need another drink!” Richard waved over to one of the shot boys and held out a bill. It was a shot boy who was working the room selling “mouth shots”. He picked up the bottle from the tray he carried and drank from it. Then he grabbed Richard by the head and spits the alcohol into his mouth.
Richard jumped off of the barstool and spat furiously. He rubbed his mouth hard with the back of his hand trying to wipe off the germs from the shirtless twink’s mouth. Brody had never seen him move so quickly and he’d seen him take down armed perps in the past.
The bar was suddenly quiet, everyone staring.
“What the hell are you doing?” Richard was angry. He seized the boy’s arm as everyone else looked on astounded. Suddenly, Richard realized where he was and how he was reacting. The kid was only doing his job, and the tray he carried did advertise “Mouth shots for five dollars”.
“I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard,” Richard apologized, realizing he appeared not only homop
hobic but like a bully, as well.
The tension in the bar suddenly disappeared as the boy scampered away. Richard turned and gave Brody a dirty look.
“I was going to warn you about that.” Brody laughed
He rolled his eyes. “No, you weren’t.”
“They’re called mouth shots for a reason,” Brody explained, realizing that Richard could never know that since it wasn’t something that ever occurred in a straight bar.
“What the hell other kind of shots are there?”
Brody stared at him as if to say, “I can elaborate on the subject if you’d care for me to.”
“Okay, I really don’t want to know,” Richard said as he checked his watch. “All right,” he told Brody. “I gotta run.”
“Where are you going?”
“I told Diane we could meet later. After she got off work.”
One quick drink and Richard was planning on leaving? That was bad enough. Brody was looking forward to drinking with his partner tonight. But to leave him to meet up with Diane? Oh, no, Brody thought. Diane was fun and cool but definitely not Richard’s type. He hadn’t thought about what Richard’s type was before this very instant, but Diane? Definitely not.
Richard was the greatest guy with the biggest heart. Diane was a sassy, wisecracking, sex-crazed powerhouse. The two were compete opposites, totally incompatible. Like he and Myles were. Brody knew that Richard would have to learn the hard way that he and Diane were a bad idea.
“You’re just going to leave me here alone?” Brody asked.
“You’re not alone. You have your friend here to keep you company.” Richard was referring to the go-go dancer in front of him. Richard pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet and waved it in front of the dancer. He obviously had chosen not to stuff it in his thong. Richard smiled to himself before handing the money to Brody to stuff it in the dancer’s thong for him.
Richard told the dancer, “This is so you’ll pay a little extra attention to my friend.” He indicated Brody.
The dancer plucked the money from Richard’s hand, and with a wink let Richard know he’d make good on the exchange. Richard patted his partner on the back and headed out of the bar on his way to Diane’s.
Chapter 12
Richard couldn’t stop thinking about Diane. She was aggressive, smart, and gorgeous but best of all, she not only talked the talk but also most certainly walked the walk.
He arrived at her house ten minutes early. It’d been nearly eight months since he had been on a formal date with anyone, and he wanted to be on time and make a good impression. Richard sat in the car outside of her house, looking at his watch impatiently. Then he examined himself in the rearview mirror. After turning this way and that, and looking himself over, he decided he’d waited long enough. Hopefully she’d not mind his arriving a bit early. Richard looked at his watch one last time, climbed from the car, and headed to her front door.
Her smiled dazzled him. It was so bright, he thought, it could melt polar ice caps. She wore a clinging red dress with a low neckline. Beautiful, he thought. Absolutely beautiful. Suddenly a tinge of insecurity consumed him. He wondered if she was out of his league. He was just a beat cop after all.
Diane glanced at her watch, a petite timepiece with a slender golden band. “Seven p.m. on the nose. I like a man who can come on time,” she purred. Or was is a growl? He didn’t know or care. All that mattered was that it was working for him.
He picked the nicest place he could afford, a small Italian restaurant with dark mood lighting and a candle on each table. Later, he had no idea what they’d eaten or even much of what they talked about since he could only stare into her eyes.
Diane told him she had dessert waiting back at her house. He quickly flagged down the waiter and paid the check. Even when chasing perps, he didn’t drive as fast as he did on the way back to her place.
Before the door was even closed, the two were wrapped in each other’s arms, their lips pressed firmly against one another’s. Within moments they were in her bedroom. Clothes flew off their bodies onto the floor, and they collapsed on to her bed, intertwined like the threads in a sweater.
Diane’s supple, perky breasts heaved against his firm chest as the two of them continued to kiss, more and more wildly. Suddenly, she stopped and sat up. “Did you remember to bring the pepper spray?” she asked.
“In my pants pocket,” he joked then wondered if she was serious, if she really had wanted him to bring the spray.
“Oh, that’s what that was and I thought my dress wasn’t low cut enough,” she said with a grin. They shared a laugh as she teased him a bit more, leaning over the side of the bed and grabbing a condom, as Richard studied her glorious ass. “Now we can really get things going,” she said as she held up the rubber.
Richard’s eyebrow rose a little. She was certainly a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to get it. Richard had been with some aggressive women before, but Diane was taking no prisoners. Richard liked a woman who took charge, and Diane certainly did that.
“Maximums, I assumed!” She held up an extra large condom.
“I can try to squeeze myself into one I guess.”
They chuckled together, and then Richard showed her he hadn’t been kidding about the size.
“Ever been to South America?” She asked. Richard wasn’t sure where he was going with this. He clearly looked confused since she followed her statement with, “I hope you enjoy your trip to Brazil.”
He stared with delight. What a woman!
Chapter 13
Myles sat in his office, an 80’s love song playing on the computer speakers. He hummed along loudly as he worked until the chirp of a text stopped him. It was from Brody. “BUSY LATER?”
Myles typed a reply, “CAN’T. SEEING HUNTER AGAIN.”
Diane entered Myles’ office and pulled the plug from the speakers. There was blessed silence. She couldn’t bear another bad 80’s love song pouring through the wall to her office next door. Every time Myles fell in love, he’d blast Phil Collins, Lionel Richie, or Sade. It’d been a week of this crap and Myles humming along. She’d had enough. Besides, it was her turn to talk and she wanted to share some news.
“Why’d you do that?” Myles asked.
“Someone’s been getting a lot of WWF smack-down-scream-all night- so-the-neighbors-bang- on-the-wall-style sex.”
“It shows?” said he asked coyly. He was slightly embarrassed. The old songs had apparently given him away.
“I’m talking about myself and my spicy Latin lover.”
He gave her a big smile. “You and Richard? Last night?”
“It was kind of like a spinning class. Hot and sweaty, but with handcuffs, a nightstick, and pepper spray.” She grinned.
“Pepper spray? Okay...” Myles didn’t know what to make of her statement, joking or not.
“What about you and Hunter? Judging from your recent playlist of eighties love songs, I’d say it’s going pretty well for you too.”
Myles noted that she was only too happy to share the news about her and Richard but obviously, craving gossip, as always, she also wanted to hear the details of Myles’ love life. The perfect friendship balance.
Myles tapped his computer, and a screensaver of Hunter appeared. “Take a look; tell me what you think.” And there was Hunter, dressed in his vest and wife beater, a sexy grin on his face.
Very sexy, Diane thought. Only two weeks and he’d changed his screen-saver to a selfie of himself with his new boy. Myles was again clearly in love. How over-the-top Myles was, she thought. She couldn’t help but tease him a little bit about his new crush. “You, my friend, are just an easy-bake oven away from being a twelve-year-old girl, aren’t you?”
Myles looked at the shot of him and Hunter and realized, only slightly chagrined, that she was right. But it was fine. He was in love and nothing was going to bother him.
Chapter 14
It was a tradition in the police station for a mor
e experienced officer to take the new recruits outs for a drink. Part welcoming; part hazing—but all in fun. This time it had been Brody’s turn. O’Malley’s Pub was their go-to place. Any officer who enjoyed a drink had gotten at least a little tipsy there, if not full-on shit-faced drunk. Brody rolled in like the mayor with the younger officers in tow. One of him and six of them, but he was sure he could out drink all of them.
Brody ordered the first round of beers and shots. The ranking officer paid first. After that the recruits each paid for a round for everyone.
He spent the night regaling them with stories about the force. What to expect. What not to expect. He listed off all the local establishments that offered discounts to cops, as well as where to get the strongest coffee and the best donuts, and how to stay off the Captain’s shit list, something he himself was not especially good at.
The next morning, hung over and feeling half sick, Brody entered the gym where Richard was working out on the bench press machine.
“You okay, partner?” he asked Brody.
“I went out with the new recruits last night—to O’Malley’s Pub. I’m not sure which are worse to get your drink on at, the gay bars or the Irish ones.” He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers. There was a sledgehammer beating inside his head, and he felt completely hung over.
“I guess it depends on what you’re looking for at the end of the rainbow,” Richard added.
“At this point I’d settle for a well-hung leprechaun,” Brody joked as he bent down, adjusted some weights, and began to lift them. His head was splitting and what he needed was a Bloody Mary, but that wasn’t going to happen. Couldn’t have any suspects smelling his breath.
“That’s why I’m glad I’m dating again. I’m in bed by ten p.m.”
“If I ever go to sleep at ten, put a bullet in me.” Brody was determined to not be one of those guys in their mid thirties who are in bed before midnight no matter how early his morning shift was.