What Log had told Tick the other day wasn’t a lie. Pretty Boy knew that when he wasn’t around, Gabriella was not herself. He hadn’t known how true that was until about four months ago when he had to be away from her for nearly ten days. He’d been gone for three nights when Log called him. He’d barely gotten out his greeting when the man had commanded him to call Gabriella and hung up. Confused and more than a little worried he’d dialed his girls number.
Waiting impatiently for her to pick up. When he’d heard her wobbly voice and the fear that had taken hold of her he’d nearly called Bone and told him he could have another fucking asshole come take his place. The only reason he hadn’t done it was because she’d calmed down after talking to him for over four hours and finally fallen into an exhausted sleep. It had taken everything he had to keep his ass where his Prez had sent him instead of on his bike headed back to his woman. He’d called her twice a day every day he was gone after that night, but it had still nearly killed him to stay where he needed to be instead of going home to Gabriella.
After that run, he’d told Bone that he wouldn’t leave for more than three days unless the situation was beyond dire. Bone hadn’t argued. Likely because he understood. He had a sweet little baby girl and his old lady to look after, which meant he didn’t like the longer runs either. Bone couldn’t always keep Pretty Boy close to home, but he’d never sent him on a long run again. The club was solid and there were a lot of men who didn’t have a family to worry about and Bone tended to lean on them more for the longer jobs now. Tank and his old lady weren’t ready for kids and the two of them took a lot of the longer runs anyway. Most of his brothers didn’t mind because they knew that when they found their old ladies and started having kids Bone would do the same for them.
Some of the men who’d wanted to keep the families out of the club weren’t too happy about the changes and tried to use it to undermine Bone. Mostly that kind of bullshit came from Snapper and Bliss’s group of malcontents. Revving his engine, he pushed the bike harder trying to get home to his sweet girl. He’d moved her back into his cabin three days ago after they’d had their chat about her being his. Pretty Boy knew that he needed to give her some time to settle into staying with him, get her comfortable before they started trying to move towards a sexual relationship. He was well aware that getting to the place they both wanted to be would take time. For now, he was content with her being in his bed every night again so he could hold her to him and know that she was his.
That had been the hardest part of her leaving him all those months ago. Not being able to hold her at night had practically made him insane. It had pushed him nearly to his limit and if he hadn’t been afraid he’d scare her he would have gone to that damned cabin Bone had given her and carried her sweet ass right back to his bed, where she belonged. His hands tightened on the handle bars as hatred for the men who’d hurt his sweet Gabriella ripped through him. They were the reason he needed to be careful with her and they were the reason he had to hold tightly to his temper and his libido. Those bastard Jackals had taken a fiery sweet woman and turned her into a frightened, scared little bird. If he could he’d revive every one of those assholes just so he could kill them all again. Slowly, with lots of pain before they died screaming. A grim smile curled his lips and his teeth clenched as his bike ate up the miles between him and Gabi.
Not that Gabi had let them break her. No, they’d only made her stronger. Those first few days he’d thought they had destroyed her, but then she’d showed up at his cabin, and he’d known. She wasn’t shattered, she was just sealing up the cracks they’d made with their cruel treatment of her. She was amazing and her recovery was nothing short of a miracle. What had happened to her could have tainted the rest of her life, but she’d refused to allow that. Her first two months of silence hadn’t been about withdrawing from the world like everyone, except him had assumed. Nope, they’d been about getting her head on right so she could move on with her life. It was a thing of beauty, and he’d never been so proud to call a woman his own.
Some of his fellow Devils didn’t understand why he’d want a broken bird like Gabi, but to him she was perfect. It didn’t matter that other men had forced her to do things that still haunted her. No, all that mattered was that she soothed him in a way no other person on this earth ever could. When she let him pull her against him every night and press his cock to her ass with his arms tightly wrapped around her, everything in his world was right where it should be. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He didn’t care if they were never able to fully have sex, just having her close was enough. He had a fucking hand and it had been doing just fine getting him off for over two years now.
Some club whore’s pussy wasn’t going to be any better than his hand because they weren’t her. They weren’t his Gabi and they never could be. He was a man who knew what he wanted. He wasn’t going to screw up the only thing in his life that mattered. He’d learned that lesson from his father. He’d kicked his mother out one night when Pretty Boy was ten, resulting in her getting shot. Pretty Boy had never discovered why his father had kicked her out, but he knew that his father had lived the rest of his life filled with regret drowning in a bottle. His father had died five years after he’d joined the Red Devils at seventeen.
Pretty Boy focused on the road again and saw the sign rushing by him with a relieved feeling swirling inside him because it meant that he was only fifteen miles from Gabriella. He laid on the speed making the twenty-minute trip in less than ten, pulling up to his cabin he noted that the lights were off. He shut off the bike and noticed Log sitting on his front step. Climbing off his ride he set the stand and walked towards him.
“Damn am I glad you’re home. She’s been up four times and her pacing is driving me nuts. How can you stand it brother? I barely know her and it kills me to see her like this. I can’t even imagine how it would feel if she was mine.” Log didn’t bother to hide the worry he’d been feeling.
Pretty Boy glanced at the window seeing that the lights were still off and he knew she must have gone to lay down again. She was waiting on him because she couldn’t sleep without him and he damned well knew it. Shit, he was going to have to talk to Bone again. His Gabi didn’t need to be staying up all hours because he wasn’t here for her. He had hoped to wait a bit longer to ask for help from his Prez. He didn’t doubt that Bone would give him the time he needed to settle Gabi’s fears, but he hated asking when things were heating up in their war against the Jackals again.
“It isn’t easy, but every day it gets easier for both myself and her. She’s doing so much better.”
“If you say so brother. I can’t see it. When you’re not here it’s like she can’t settle.” Log muttered, glancing at the house as he stood walking down the steps.
“Yeah, it’s hard for her at night. Most of the attacks she suffered were at night.” Pretty Boy knew that because she’d told him six weeks after they’d rescued her. His fists clenched as he said the words, his mind cast back to the night he’d learned those facts.
It had been late one night after the nightmares had woke her. It was dark in the room and she’d been trapped under his arm which had freaked her out. She’d had a panic attack that had taken him over an hour to calm. When she’d finally felt safe again she’d told him about how four of them had held her down and raped her the first night. After that there had been at least one rape a night for over a week before they’d gotten tired of her and left her alone for the most part. Only occasionally coming in to beat or rape her after that. He’d held her while she cried for nearly two hours, her body shaking as she’d tried to push back the memories.
“Fuck, she told you that?” Log asked, sounding as pissed as he felt.
“She’s told me about it all.”
“Damn, how are you not a fucking mess. She’s not my old lady and I want to rip the world apart thinking about that shit. How are you still sane?” Log asked,
his hand resting on Pretty Boy’s shoulder with his eyes serious.
“I have to be sane. For her. She needs me and that’s what keeps me rational. You know when I would call you at night and ask you to meet me at the gym? I know you remember.” Pretty Boy asked, his eyes seeking the windows again to assure himself that his Gabi was still tucked up safe in his bed.
“Yeah. Right, I remember you being a fucking animal those nights.” Log said, suddenly putting two and two together. “Those were the times when she talked weren’t they? Fuck, for nearly two months I dreaded those calls,” Log squeezed his shoulder and let go shaking his head. “You weren’t much better during the day unless Gabriella was close. The whole club was worried you were about to go off the deep end. Most of them didn’t know that Gabriella was living with you. I’m glad she could talk to you, but fuck man how did you listen to that shit?”
“It wasn’t fucking easy. Most days I was hanging on by a thread. Sparring with you helped, and I could take some of that rage out on the Jackals we were cleaning up at the time.” Pretty Boy rubbed a hand over the back of his neck as he shifted, trying not to let his anger over those memories explode. He had to keep his shit together for Gabi. She needed him to stay steady and he’d be damned if he’d ever let her down. She’d had enough bad shit happen in her life. She didn’t need to add disappointment to the list.
“Damn, brother. I don’t know how you can be okay with this shit.”
“I’ve never been okay with what happened to her Log, but she needs me to be steady and I will give her everything she needs for the rest of her life because she’s mine. You know that.”
“I know, but if you ever need to spar again just let me know. I’m here if you need me.” Log didn’t wait for him to respond, he just walked towards his bike and climbed on.
“I will, but as long as she’s okay, I am too. It’s when she’s upset that shit hits me like a ton of lead. Those days are going to be coming around again once we start trying to take this to the next level.” Pretty Boy felt a sense of unease coat him as he watched his friend nod grimly before he kicked his ride into gear and roared away leaving him standing on his front lawn with his mind on the trails to come. Fuck, when was the last time he’d felt like this? Likely the day he was told his mother had died. He could only hope that the outcome from this would be better than that day. Maybe they’d strike a balance and they’d end up in the place they both needed to be without it ripping them both to shreds.
Chapter Seven
Gabriella felt the bed shift behind her with a sense of relief. Kyle was home. She felt his hard arms slip around her and she couldn’t stop herself from rolling over to bury her face into his chest. Her nose rubbing against the bare skin of his hard pec, inhaling his scent. Her head filling with the scent of leather, coffee, and man. A smile tugged at her lips. Kyle was addicted to coffee. The man drank it at every meal and he typically didn’t just drink a cup, it was usually two or three cups.
Gabriella nuzzled him, loving the feeling of his arms around her. It didn’t frighten her that he slept in a pair of jogging pants and nothing else. Even in the beginning when she’d been almost destroyed by what those men had done to her, she’d never been scared he would push her beyond what she could handle. She had always known that Kyle would never ask her for more than she could give him. She knew the pants he wore to bed had likely been added for her benefit. She’d bet her last credits that he had slept naked until the night she’d walked into his cabin almost two years ago.
He always did things for her without her having to ask him to. He changed his habits so that she’d fit into his life. In the past two years, he’d stopped going on long trips for the club because of her freaking out one time when he’d been gone for a week. She still felt guilty about that, but she’d learned arguing with him about it didn’t do anything except leave her frustrated and him determined. After talking with her brother today she was sure that he’d refused the job going after the Jackals in Titus for her too. With a little sigh she inhaled deeply, feeling the comfort of him sink into her bones. It made her feel selfish, but she didn’t know how to force him to leave. She’d tried already and it had nearly ripped out her heart to do it once, trying it again just might kill her.
She felt even more guilty about him giving up other women to allow her to sleep in his bed every night. She knew that he wanted them to be a couple, but she wasn’t sure she could ever allow things between them to be sexual. She wanted that, she really did. She just wasn’t sure she could handle it. More than anything else she wanted to be able to give him everything he wanted. It would splinter her heart if they tried this and it didn’t work. She knew that he was everything she needed and it scared the hell out of her.
“You okay, firefly?” his husky voice asked as he held her to him by anchoring his hand in her hair and trapping her legs with his.
“I am now,” Gabi admitted, her breath sighing out as she relaxed fully for the first time since he’d left this morning. She felt him kiss the top of her head as his arms tightened around her and his hands slipped down her back to caress her ass.
“Good.” He grunted, his hands possessive.
Gabi didn’t mind his hard hands gripping her ass tightly as he pressed her closer to him. She could feel the hardness of his cock against her stomach, but she wasn’t filled with any fear. It wasn’t the first time she’d felt it pressed against her and she was quite sure it wouldn’t be the last. Kyle had wanted her for a long time. She wanted him too, she finally admitted to herself. It was odd to feel that desire pumping through her veins again. Fear arrowed through her and her heart began racing, but she shoved it down. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about those bastards. This was Kyle, and she could trust him. She did trust him.
“Kiss me.” Gabi demanded, needing to feel his lips on hers. Even if she was scared to death they’d never work because of her past, she had to try.
“You sure? I know we talked about moving this relationship forward, but we don’t have to start till you’re ready. I’m content with you being here in my bed every night so I can hold you.” Kyle said, his hands tightening gently on her flesh.
“I’m ready.” Was all she could manage to get out as he pulled away and watched her face carefully. His eyes narrowed and he looked thoughtful as he took in every little twist of her expression. She knew he was likely debating in his head about her sincerity. Reaching out she put her hand behind his head and tried, unsuccessfully, to guide his lips to her own.
“Kiss me.” Gabi repeated.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, babe. I want to, don’t get me wrong, but—,” Kyle began, but she interrupted him.
“None of them ever kissed me, Kyle. They weren’t kind or gentle, they just took what they wanted and kissing wasn’t part of that.” Gabriella closed her eyes as she tried to force the memories of those words away. The wordless growl of anger that rumbled in his chest after she finished speaking helped. His hands were gentle as they moved up her back rubbing. She felt the soft touch of his lips on her nose, her cheeks, and finally her lips.
It was soft at first and she found herself smiling slightly as his mouth brushed hers, but it wasn’t more than a second before his tongue was sweeping along her closed lips asking for entry. She opened, allowing him inside. Her heart beating so fast that she was afraid she’d have a heart attack as his tongue speared into her opened mouth. Desires she hadn’t felt since forever blasted through her, making her moan a soft little sound that seemed to spur him on and his mouth became more aggressive, his hands more possessive as they pressed her against him on the bed.
Feeling brave she allowed her tongue to follow the rhythm of his, drawing a groan from him as his body hardened more and he moved, tilting her head for better access. He devoured her lips, his hands rubbing against her skin as he slipped them underneath his shirt that she’d thrown on earlier before she’d climbed into the bed. She gasped as he released her lips and began kissing down her neck
leaving hard little nips in his wake as he seemed to try to mark every part of her.
Maneuvering her to lie on her back, Kyle placed his hands on the hem of her shirt. His eyes burning as he watched her, waiting for permission. She nodded and his hands moved the shirt up slowly, only an inch at a time. His lips going to her stomach where he left soft gentle kisses on her exposed skin. Gabi didn’t feel any fear as he pulled the shirt up, his lips following. His caresses were gentle and soft, and she could feel her body responding. She was burning with need and her fingers clenched in his hair as she held him to her wanting to keep him close. She trembled as her breath escaped her in little pants and the wetness between her legs tingled, reminding her that she wasn’t dead below the waist like she’d thought she might be.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. I want to eat you alive.” Kyle grunted, his mouth sucking at a spot just beneath her breast leaving an angry red hickey behind. His hands moved to cup her breasts gently and his eyes raised to look at her. They were wild and his desire clamored for attention, but he waited, watching her.
“Please.” Gabi begged, needing him to caress her. She’d thought she would never feel this deep, almost achy desire again. Even though she’d felt hints of it over the past two years, she’d never wanted anyone to touch her sexually. She’d always felt dirty and used when she’d felt this desire slipping through her before, but tonight it was pure and almost the same as it had been before she’d been raped. Kyle slowly lowered his head, his lips wrapping around her nipple before a groan escaped him and his tongue curled around the tip. Gabi pressed his lips against her breast moaning in pleasure as he sucked her nipple roughly.
Her hands gripped his hair and her body filled with so much bliss that she almost felt whole again. He moved across her chest with nipping little kisses, his hands cupping her other breast as he pushed it up into his mouth. It felt good and she found herself grinding on his leg which had taken up residence at the center of her core, pressing softly against her pussy. Her fingers tightened, likely pulling his hair, but Kyle didn’t seem to mind as he continued to suck her breasts.
Healing Gabriella (Red Devils MC Book 8) Page 5