They had scared Marnie more because they were idiots, not because they had meant to harm her, but he knew it would look different to Gabi. Seeing the ripped shirt and the way the men had been crowded around her would lend a darker light to the occurrence. Gabi would build this up in her head if he didn’t get her mind off of it soon, and she’d end up trying to leave him again. Feeling grim, he pulled off his gun setting it on the dresser. He turned towards Gabi finding her sitting on the edge of the bed taking off her shoes. She looked a little lost as she set them aside and gazed up at him. He walked towards her, needing to hold her and assure himself that she was okay. He couldn’t bear to lose what they had. Gabi looked up at him as he stepped up between her legs and reached out to cup her face. He stared into her grey-green eyes wanting to erase the last hour from her mind.
“Are you sure you’re okay, firefly?” He asked.
“I’m fine.” Gabi replied, quickly. Too quickly.
Letting out a sigh, Pretty Boy kissed her forehead and pulled her lips to his. He knew she was lying. What she’d seen had frightened her and he knew that she wasn’t okay, but there wasn’t anything that he could do to force her to see that what had happened wasn’t what she’d seen. Her trauma was clouding her view of things and if he pushed her tonight, she might end up pushing him away and he couldn’t handle that. As he kissed her softly with his hands cupping her cheeks, he felt relief when her arms wrapped around his waist.
Kissing his way down from her cheeks to her neck, he left small nipping kisses along her collar bone. She let out a little moan and squeezed his ass. Pretty Boy’s hands slipped beneath the edges of her property patch, sliding it off gently before lifting her shirt off revealing her breasts. She hadn’t put on a bra earlier and he was able to cup her rose tipped globes in his hands, slowly stroking her nipples. His cock jumped in his pants as he touched her. It was always that way with Gabi. Every time he touched her, his body seemed to recognize her and go haywire. He knew that she thought making love to her gently was hard for him, and it was, but not for the reasons she thought it was. It was hard for him only because he worried he wouldn’t be able to control his need for her. Gabi worried that she wouldn’t satisfy him, or that sex with other women would be better, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Sex with her was mind blowing and every other woman before her paled in comparison, because he loved her. Fuck, he’d finally admitted it to himself. He fucking loved this woman, he knew that he’d never be able to live without her.
His hands tightened on her breast as he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. Grinning when he heard her moan and let out a little whimper of desire as she clung to him. Pretty Boy was on his knees between her legs sucking on her sweet little nipples while she clung to his shoulders trying to tug his cut off. Needing her touch as badly as she did his, he pulled back as he quickly ripped his cut off and tossed it towards the dresser. He didn’t care about where it landed, disrespecting his colors for the first time in his life. His shirt quickly followed before he sucked her nipple back into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip again, laying her back on the bed.
He didn’t cover her because they’d learned last week that it was one of her triggers, he instead laid beside her, his mouth caressing her. His fingers slipped down unbuttoning her jeans as he moved inside rubbing her clit. Gabi gasped, and Pretty Boy felt a growl rise in his throat as he kissed her from her breasts to her navel and back again. He felt her press up into his hand with satisfaction. He loved giving her pleasure. She shifted beneath him whimpering.
“Please,” she begged.
He knew what she wanted, and he would give it to her, but he needed to taste her sweetness first. They hadn’t tried oral since the night she’d been drunk, but tonight he wanted to drink her in. He wanted to feel her explode against him mouth as she screamed his name. His hands moved to her hips tugging at her jeans, pulling them off along with her panties as he tossed them aside. Gabi didn’t fight him as he spread her legs, settling between them ready to bring her to her peak. Gabi stared down at him as he looked up at her while holding her hips in his hands. He watched her eyes darken with desire, a triumphant growl forcing its way out of his throat.
When she whispered please again, he dove in, giving her what she needed by sucking her clit into his mouth and swirling his tongue over the tight bud. Her body shook as she grabbed his hair and moaned like she was dying. He grinned against her sweet pussy and lapped up the juices that flooded his mouth with greedy sounds of happiness. She pressed up into his mouth as he licked and sucked her into three orgasms before he slowly crawled up her body like the animal he was. He rolled to his back and pulled her on top, seating her slick cunt on his cock in one swift motion that earned him a gasp from her parted lips. She sank down on him slowly, pushing up and down while he held her breasts caressing her nipples.
She looked like a pleasure goddess riding his cock in a slow gentle glide that left them both breathless and content. He let her ride him in that slow gentle rhythm until she came, then starting to slam up into her as the movement of her body on his became erratic, afterwards she fell onto his chest in exhaustion. It didn’t take him long to come after he took over the thrusting, and he came as he cried out her name with his arms wrapped around her tightly. He gently shifted her off his cock and grabbed his shirt, which had somehow landed on the bed earlier. Using it, he cleaned them up before tossing it to the floor. He pulled her back into his arms, resting her against his heart, kissing her forehead gently. Gabi sighed happily and kissed him deeply before tucking her nose into the crook of his neck. Pretty Boy’s arms held her tightly and they fell asleep that way, wrapped up in each other.
Chapter Seventeen
Pretty Boy felt the blows before he woke up. A fist smacked him in the eye and he could hear the panicked, almost harsh breathing. It was Gabi screaming, he knew something was wrong as he jerked fully awake. He realized that somehow during the night he’d grabbed Gabriella and she had woken up underneath him, triggering a panic attack. Fuck, this wasn’t good. Gabriella was hysterical and even though he’d moved off her, she was still punching and hitting him as she fought the demons in her mind. Her eyes were unfocused and glassy, and he realized this was a full-blown attack that wasn’t going to be easy to snap her out of.
Reaching out he gently rubbed her wild hair off her forehead, trying to calm her with the light touch, but it only seemed to increase her panic. She punched him in the face again and he was forced to pin her arms before she hurt herself or him. He knew she’d be upset if she did manage to injure him because of this fit she was having. Gabi was already on the edge after last night’s events. Something about the way she was screaming for him to stop, as she thrashed and kicked trying to escape his gentle hold, almost broke him. Fuck, maybe he should release her and get out of the bed. Maybe if she didn’t feel threatened anymore she’d calm down. Only the fear that her thrashing would cause her harm, kept him there.
“Breathe, firefly. Breathe for me. You’re safe.” He soothed, trying not to hurt her as she tossed her head back and forth fighting the invisible demons. His heart was ripped to shreds as he heard the pitiful whimpers and the pleading for him to stop escaping her between gasps. Tears were pouring down her cheeks into her hair and she was a mess.
“You’re okay, firefly. It’s just me, baby. You’re safe,” he whispered against her temple when she stopped thrashing, as she still laid there crying and begging. He knew from the things she’d told him that this was how it had been. When it started she’d fought, but by the end she’d just begged. It had made her ashamed of herself, but it just made him want to punch things. No woman should ever have to go through this type of pain, and it made him angry as fuck that it was his sweet Gabriella who had suffered like this. He didn’t want her to feel such pain, or to suffer as she had for almost a month while she was in those bastard’s care.
He felt her shivering and he wanted to cuddle her, but he knew she would likely panic again
if he did because she wasn’t fully aware yet. She hadn’t fought her way out of the nightmares she was reliving. His hands were stroking her back and she was finally winding down when she became aware. It was a slow process, and Pretty Boy felt her stiffen and attempt to pull away from him. Growling in displeasure he released her, unwilling to trigger another panic attack that would leave her hysterical. Gabriella stood up, dragging the sheet with her as she climbed out of the bed. He didn’t fight her as she stood staring at him with a haunted expression.
“I freaked out didn’t I?” she asked.
“You did,” Pretty Boy carefully replied, watching her face.
“I don’t understand why this keeps happening.” Gabi moaned, her hand flying to cover her face as the other gripped the sheet tightly to her chest. Pretty Boy didn’t move, but he kept his eyes on her.
“It’s going to happen sometimes Gabi. We talked about this.”
“It shouldn’t still be happening Pretty Boy!” she snapped, letting her hand drop as she glared at him.
“Babe, we talked about this. You know that what happened to you left serious mental scars that will take a long time to heal. It’s nor—,” Pretty Boy was saying, but her shrill voice cut across his.
“No! Don’t tell me it’s normal. What happened to me wasn’t normal, and the fact that you keep trying to tell me that these scars are okay means you need to wake up. You can’t keep making excuses for me to be like this. How can you be satisfied with half a woman? I can’t even sleep in the same bed with you, without freaking out over nothing. I freaked out! Not because you were hurting me, or because you held me down, but because I’m not normal. You need to stop doing this to yourself and walk away.” She screeched, her hand flying through the air as she animatedly shouted at him.
“Gabi, just calm down. I know you’re upset but—,”
“Stop patronizing me! Don’t tell me to calm down! You’re always so calm about my panic attacks and we both know that I will never be able to be normal. I lost that when they locked me in that room and it isn’t going to change because you want it to Kyle!”
“Firefly, I’m not trying to patronize you. I wouldn’t ever try to act like I have any idea what you went through. I know it was bad, but you can’t always use your scars as a way to keep a certain distance between us either. I won’t live in constant fear that you’re going to walk out on us. I won’t do it, Gabi.” She watched Kyle stand up and grab his pants off the floor, putting them on with a frustrated look on his face. Gabi growled and moved to her dresser, pulling out her clothes and turning back to look over her shoulder at him. He was digging through his own drawers, likely searching for a shirt since he still wasn’t wearing one. Feeling angrier than she’d ever felt, she twisted away from him and stormed into the bathroom to dress.
“This conversation isn’t over,” he called to her through the door.
“I’m done with this little game. I don’t know why I thought that this could work between us. I warned you months ago that I wasn’t a safe bet and that you were likely going to be disappointed with the way things turned out between us.” Gabi knew as soon as the words flew from her mouth that she didn’t mean them as she closed her eyes and counted to three. She didn’t know where all this anger was coming from, and knew directing it at Kyle wasn’t fair. Why was she screaming at him? She knew that he wasn’t the problem, but once she’d started yelling it just kept pouring out of her mouth and she couldn’t stop it.
“Really, Gabriella? What the fuck? I can’t handle this bullshit. Maybe we should table this for a few days. I’m going to go on this run with Log alone. I think we both need time to think about this bullshit.” Kyle snarled.
Gabi felt tears burning her eyes as she stood gripping the counter trying to catch her breath. She knew that little speech had sounded a lot like goodbye and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want him to walk away, but she wasn’t sure how to stop him. She pulled on her shirt and shorts before opening the door to go talk to him, but as she made her way into the hallway she heard his bike roar to life and she felt her heart almost stop as fear gripped her.
What had she just done? Had she finally succeeded in pushing him too far?
Her mind whirling with a thousand questions, she ran out of the house into the drive and watched as he disappeared around the corner. She found her knees giving out as she landed on the gravel, her heart stuttering as she tried to stop the sobs from ripping her apart. Gabi didn’t notice the pain from the hard rocks pressing into her knees, nor did she feel the chill that was turning her lips almost blue. All she knew was that she couldn’t bear to lose Kyle, and the thought that it might already be too late to save their relationship tore her to shreds. Her body shook, and her fears almost overwhelmed her as she knelt there in the yard staring at nothing but a trail of dust Pretty Boy had left. It was almost an hour later that she felt someone lightly touch her arm, making her jump and jerk upward to get away.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, but it’s too cold out here for you to be wearing that.” Rock said, holding his hands up in the air, making her understand that he meant no harm. Gabriella didn’t say anything, she just looked at Rock blankly. Her heart still ripping to shreds by what she’d done.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Come on, let’s go inside so we can get you cleaned up and warm.” Rock said, motioning for her to proceed him into the cabin. Feeling numb, she got up ignoring the painful feeling of the rocks embedded in her legs as she walked ahead of him up the porch steps.
“Why don’t you sit down on the couch for a moment. Do you guys have a first aid kit?” Rock asked. Rock waited until she sat down and then grabbed a blanket she’d draped across the chair by the door, wrapping it around her shoulders. Gabi found her voice as she pointed to the kitchen.
“In the cabinet by the stove.” She shifted, readying herself to stand so she could go and get it. She was gently shoved back down by Rock’s hand as he moved away from her to head into the kitchen to grab it.
“No don’t get up. I’ll get it, you just wrap yourself up in that blanket until I get back.”
Gabi waited, not really caring about what he was doing. Surprisingly, she wasn’t scared of Rock at that moment, likely because losing Pretty Boy possibly for good had shaken her. Rock returned holding the first aid kit with a grim look on his face.
“Let me clean these cuts up and then we can talk about what you were doing outside in this weather without a coat and wearing a pair of sleep shorts.” Rock rumbled as he knelt beside her. Gabi just sat still, not caring what he did.
Chapter Eighteen
Gabriella sat still, not saying anything to Rock as he watched her carefully. She held the blanket he’d wrapped around her tightly, trying to figure out what she was going to do. Her knuckles were turning white she noted absently as she stared at her hands, questions bombarding her. Should she move out, or should she stay in the cabin until he came back and told her to leave? Which would be harder? She didn’t know, but she needed to get a grip.
“Sweetheart, where’s Pretty Boy?” Rock asked, “Should I call him?”
“He went with Log.” Gabriella said, her voice sounding husky and kind of hoarse. She glanced towards the window hearing Rock shift around as he came closer.
“Oh that’s right they were going on that run to Longville. Do you want me to call him so you can talk to him? I’m sure he’d like to fix whatever—um—issue you’re dealing with.” Gabriella looked up at Rock, a little shocked to see him standing above her. She almost broke out in hysterical laughter because they’d accidentally discovered one night that a man looming over her like Rock was currently, set off her demons. Only right now she wasn’t feeling threatened, or maybe she just couldn’t bring herself to care. She wasn’t sure which it was, but it struck her as funny.
“He doesn’t care.” Gabriella finally said, feeling those words settle inside her heart like a pound of lead.
“What? Of course, he cares. He would not be h
appy with you being outside freezing to death and hurt.” Rock said, frowning darkly. He grabbed some cotton balls from the first aid kit, still watching her like she was a wild animal who would bolt any second. She felt crushed, like her whole world was imploding. Closing her eyes, she tried to get a grip on her spiraling emotions.
“He doesn’t care. We fought and he left.” Gabriella repeated matter of factly, surprised by how easily she said it, because it felt like the words were razors slicing her up inside. She couldn’t survive without him. She would fall apart. She flinched as she felt Rock rub a cotton ball over the bloody mess the rocks had made of her knees. Normally she would have insisted on doing it herself, but at the moment she didn’t think she could release the tight grip she had on the blanket, so she let him tend to her wounds.
“Even if you did fight, I know he wouldn’t want you outside freezing to death and bleeding, Gabriella. You should know by now that he’s coming back, and if he finds out you’ve hurt yourself over this fight he won’t be happy.” Rock tossed the used cotton balls into a pile, took out the skin sealer, and began sealing the cuts she’d acquired.
“I think this fight was the last straw. I said some really mean things to him.” Gabi whispered, clutching the blanket to her chest trying not to break down and start sobbing again.
“You can’t really be thinking that Pretty Boy left for good can you? Cause that’s just stupid. I don’t care what he told you, but I’ve known him for years and I can safely say that he will be back. He has never been more attached to anyone in his life, Gabi. That man is in love with you and has been from the moment he first saw you.” Rock had finished his task and was sitting back watching her as he shook his head, staring at her like she’d lost her mind.
Could he be right? Could Pretty Boy be in love with her? She didn’t know, but she sure as hell hoped he was. The numbness she’d been feeling since he left finally eased, and she looked around for her phone intending to text him. By the time Gabi realized it was upstairs, Rock had finished with her cuts and had stood up to start a fire in the fire place. She sat silently, watching him stack the logs and light some tinder to get it started.
Healing Gabriella (Red Devils MC Book 8) Page 13