by E. L. Todd
“If that were the case she wouldn’t keep paying me.”
“Maybe she doesn’t realize it yet. She can’t kiss you and feel hot but not want you.”
“Girls are stupid,” I said. “Who knows what she’s thinking?”
“Well, you have a job to protect,” Jett said. “You either need to stop this physical relationship or quit working for her and try to pursue her.”
Neither of those options worked. “If I quit, I won’t see her anymore. She doesn’t want a relationship with me.”
“Would she invite you to spend the night if that weren’t true?”
“We didn’t screw.”
“Then that makes it even more intimate,” Jett argued. “She just slept with you? I did the same thing with Ophelia and that only made me fall more in love with her. And the same thing happened to her.”
I gripped my skull. “Dude, it’s not that simple.”
“Dude, I think she does have a thing for you. But maybe she doesn’t realize it. Keep flirting with her and kissing her and crap and maybe it’ll hit her.”
“You just told me I needed to quit.”
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “How much do you like this girl? Honestly?”
I shrugged.
“River,” Jett pressed.
I nodded. “A lot.”
“Like, this might be the girl you settle down with?”
I’d never felt this way about a girl before. I actually liked her. I wasn’t getting laid and I still wanted her around. That spoke louder than words. Love wasn’t something I experienced before and I wasn’t sure if it was what I was feeling now. But there was something there. “I can see it…”
Jett watched me for a moment before he released a sigh. “Then go for it. We’ve all broken the rules for our women. Now it’s your turn.”
“I’ve already broken two of them.”
“Now break them all.”
***
When I picked up Meadow, she wore a yellow sundress with a blue cardigan. The bright colors brought out her eyes, and her hair looked like soft strands of wheat. I stared at her, hypnotized like always. “You look beautiful.” It was the first thing that came to my mind so it was the first thing I blurted.
“Thank you.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, what she always did when she was embarrassed or nervous.
“And what about me?” I pointed to myself.
Her bashfulness disappeared and a smile stretched her lips. “Handsome, like always.”
“Why, thank you.” I automatically wrapped my arm around her waist. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
I walked her to my car at the curb and we both got inside. I noticed she was particularly quiet and distant, like something was on her mind. “What’s bothering you?” I asked bluntly.
“I’m just…nervous.”
“Why?” I asked. “Your parents will love me.”
“That’s not why I’m nervous,” she whispered. “I’m always nervous around Nathan.”
I cocked an eyebrow. Was she exaggerating? “Like, all the time?”
“All the time,” she said. “I never know what to say or how to act.”
“But you work with him…”
“He usually emails me and tells me what he needs. We don’t speak face-to-face often. And when we do, I’m pretty quiet.”
I didn’t drive forward because I was astounded. “Then what kind of relationship do you think you could have? You clearly aren’t comfortable around him. You should be with someone who makes you nervous—but a little bit. But more importantly, you need someone you can be yourself around. You can say whatever you want without being self-conscious about it.” Why would she want to be with a guy who was stiff and had absolutely no personality? She and I were great together. She didn’t realize that?
“Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense, does it? But it’s just me. I need to stop acting that way.”
“No, it’s him,” I said. “He clearly makes you uncomfortable.”
“He just sets me on edge…”
I give up. Meadow was a smart girl, but man, she was stupid. I started the engine then headed to the address she gave me. “Anything I should know about your family?’
“Don’t mention politics,” she said. “My dad is a nutbag about that sort of thing.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t mention organic foods,” she said. “Mom is weird about that.”
“Sounds like they’re perfect together.” I pulled over and parked the car in front of the house. “Nice place,” I said as I looked at the house.
“It is,” she said. “I grew up here.”
Imagining Meadow running around as a child made me smile although I wasn’t sure why. “Shall we, sweetheart?”
“We shall.”
She and I walked to the door and knocked. My hand moved around her waist and I pulled her tightly to me. “Showtime.”
The door opened and her mom greeted us. “Hello, honey. You look so pretty.” She hugged Meadow then moved to me. “Wow…you brought home a man—and a pretty one.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I shook her hand. “Now I understand where Meadow gets her looks from.”
“Oh, stop.” She brushed off my comment. “Come inside.” She introduced me to Meadow’s father, a stout man with a thick beard and round eyeglasses. He had an intelligent look about him, and I assumed Meadow inherited her wit from him. Then we were introduced to Candice, Nathan’s mother.
“It’s a pleasure,” I said as I shook her hand.
“Likewise,” she said. She turned to Meadow. “I’m glad you finally brought someone around. He seems like a nice young man.”
“He is,” Meadow said affectionately.
I wondered where Nathan was. I wanted to kick him in the nuts. I hadn’t even had a single conversation with the guy and I loathed him.
“Where’s Nathan?” Meadow asked casually.
“Your boss?” Candice asked. “I figured you would hate him by now.”
I know I do.
“He’s out back,” Cameron said. “Jeremy is with him.”
Who’s Jeremy?
“We’ll say hi,” Meadow said as she guided me to the patio.
“Who’s Jeremy?” I asked.
“Cameron’s assistant director,” she explained. “They are friends from college.”
Another douchebag.
We headed to the rear and I noticed Meadow became more nervous with every step she took. She clenched up and became tight. She was rigid, like she could hardly move. Like a transformation, she became a different person.
We opened the sliding glass door then headed to the porch.
Nathan was standing with Jeremy, a beer in his hand. They were talking quietly, wearing slacks and a collared shirt. We came closer to them, and soon I was just a foot away. An alarm was going off in my head, and I had to fight the urge to punch this guy hard in the lip.
Nathan’s eyes immediately went to Meadow, and he took in her frame from top to bottom. His eyes lingered on her legs before they returned to her face. The look was subtle but I caught it. “Long time, no see.” He leaned in and hugged her with one arm.
Meadow immediately stiffened at his touch, almost like she didn’t want it or expect it, and she awkwardly returned the embrace before she stepped away. “I know, right?” She released an awkward chuckle.
Jeremy eyed her too, but he wasn’t so discreet about it.
Now I needed to punch them both.
“You look wonderful this evening,” Jeremy said.
Who the hell talks like that?
“Thanks.” Meadow tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You too. It’s nice to see you.”
“Always a pleasure,” he said.
Seriously, could these guys be any more douche-like?
“Guys, this is River.” Meadow put her hand on my chest affectionately as she introduced me.
Nathan sized me up and down, an
d judging the look of irritation in his eyes he didn’t like me much.
The feeling was mutual.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Nathan shook my hand.
This guy acted like a pretentious old man. What the hell did Meadow see in him? I saw an arrogant jerk that thought he should be the king of the world. I may be cocky, but it was far less than this asshole. “Likewise.” I shook his hand. When I introduced myself to Jeremy, he was equally cold.
This should be fun.
Nathan turned his eyes back to Meadow and stared at her like I didn’t exist. His lack of respect irritated me. I pulled Meadow closer into my side and laid a warm kiss on her lips.
She returned it automatically.
When I turned back to Nathan he took a drink of his beer, a displeased look on his face.
“Well, we’re going to go inside and see if dinner is ready.” I pulled Meadow with me without waiting for their response.
Once we were inside the house and the door was shut, my lips moved to her ear. “You can do so much better.” I turned away before she could respond. I didn’t want to listen to her justify her idiotic feelings toward the guy. It was clear it was just a physical attraction, because that guy had no personality whatsoever.
Dinner was ready so we gathered around the table. Naturally, my hand went to Meadow’s thigh and I was affectionate with her. Her mom glanced at us but didn’t say anything. Initially, I was all over Meadow to make Nathan realize what he was missing. Now I was doing it so he would steer clear of her.
We made small talk while at the table, and her family asked me about my job and personal life. I fed them a bogus story about being a computer programmer. It was pretty vague and most people didn’t know anything about it. Most of the time, I steered the conversation away from myself and talked about Meadow and I together. “She’s actually awesome at video games.”
Her dad chuckled. “She gets that from me.”
“I knew she was the one when we played Grand Theft Auto together,” I said with a chuckle.
Nathan gave me a cold look.
“Did you like losing to a girl?” Meadow asked.
“Did you like the teddy bear I got you?” I countered.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not,” I said. “I’m just reminding you to not insult the man who buys you nice things like cotton candy and popcorn.”
Her mom chuckled. “Meadow loves junk food. Good thing she has a fast metabolism.”
“She gets that from you,” Her father said to her mother.
The night went on but Nathan and his family didn’t say much. Jeremy was quiet too. The only time he spoke was when he was whispering in Nathan’s ear like a bird.
When dinner was finished, coffee and dessert was served. Nathan’s mother went out front to smoke a cigarette, and Nathan and Jeremy went back to the patio. It seemed like they didn’t even want to be there.
Meadow’s mom and dad talked to us about work and their hobbies. I nodded along and participated in the conversation, trying to impress her parents for my own reasons. They seemed to like me. Meadow’s mom touched my hand at least five times.
“Excuse me,” I said. “May I use your restroom?”
“Of course, dear,” her mother said. “It’s down the hall and on the right.”
I left their table and migrated down the hall. There were pictures on the wall so I stopped to take a look. There were a few of Meadow as a young girl. She wore a poufy dress like she just got out of dress recital and she was trying to ride a bike. I smiled while I looked at the picture, seeing the same eyes I was so found of. She was adorable as a little girl. And now she was a beautiful woman.
I continued to the bathroom and was about to relieve myself when I heard voices. The window over the bathtub was cracked open, and it led to the patio where Nathan and Jeremy stood. I listened to what they were saying.
“Think they are serious?” Jeremy asked.
“Can’t tell.” Nathan’s voice was on edge.
“Well, if she brought him to meet her parents I would think so.”
Nathan’s following words were full of irritation. “Every time I ask her about it, she almost sounds indifferent. I can’t tell if she’s really into him or not.”
“Well, he seems like a nice guy.”
Nathan didn’t respond.
“She’s cleaned up good,” Jeremy continued. “She finally learned how to comb her hair and wear heels.”
“I know,” Nathan said. “I want to take her over my desk and fuck her.”
I flinched at his crude words.
“Then why don’t you do it?” Jeremy asked casually.
“Because I can’t tell if she’s monogamous with this guy.”
“Ask her out and see.”
“That’s the thing,” Nathan said. “I don’t want to ask her out. I just want to screw her and move on.”
I remained still and listened. My urge to pee was forgotten.
“Why don’t you tell her that?” Jeremy asked. “She’s been in love with you forever.” He laughed. “It took her long enough to move on.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty pathetic.”
I clenched my fists by my sides.
“I can tell she isn’t the one-night stand type of girl,” Nathan said. “She’ll want dinner first.”
“That’ll last an hour at the most.”
“But then she’ll want a relationship or some shit. I’d rather cut off my pinky than deal with that.”
“It looks like you’re stuck,” Jeremy said.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I could just ask her out and get my dick wet. If she’s weird about it afterward I could just fire her.”
“Nathan, remember your families are close,” Jeremy said. “That would be awkward.”
“She would never tell her family what happened between us. It might be awkward for she and I but no one will notice because she makes an idiot out of herself in front of me on a daily basis.”
I wanted to smash his skull into the concrete. Meadow was such a sweet girl. Why would anyone want to hurt her?
“True,” Jeremy agreed. “But there’s still one problem.”
“What?” Nathan asked.
“River—or whatever the hell his name is.”
“I’ll get rid of him,” Nathan said. “I’ll just flirt with Meadow a little more and she’ll kick him aside. Every one know she’s been in love with me forever—even her parents.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
***
I didn’t have much to say for the rest of the evening. A lot of emotions ran through me. Instead of being angry and livid for what Nathan said, I felt pain. I didn’t want to tell Meadow what I heard. It would hurt her more than she would let on, but I knew it would crush her.
Nathan’s lack of interest in Meadow was difficult to understand. She had everything any man could possibly want. She could roll out of bed and skip her hairbrush and still look amazing. She had the right curves in the right places, and her eyes were like wells I couldn’t stop staring into. And her soul was even more beautiful.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
“You okay?” she asked in the car.
“Just tired.” I was procrastinating. I wanted to put this off as long as possible.
“Did you like my family?”
“Your parents were nice.” Nathan and Jeremy were creeps.
“Yeah, my parents are pretty cool,” she said. “They did a good job raising me.”
“They did an excellent job raising you.” I grabbed her hand and ran my thumb over her knuckles.
Her fingers grasped mine like she was made just for me to hold.
When we reached her apartment, I parked the car then walked her to her door. With every footstep, my heart raced quicker. How did I tell her the truth without hurting her? What was the gentlest way to go about this? The more I thought about it, the more I realized there was no gentle way.
&nb
sp; “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked when we reached her door.
I put my hands in my pockets and sighed. “No, I’m not okay.”
She regarded me with emotional eyes. “What’s wrong?”
I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. “When I used the bathroom, the window over the tub was open. I could hear Nathan and Jeremy talking—clearly.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded. “And they said some things that are going to hurt you. I don’t want to tell you but I know I have to.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat then looked at the ground for a moment. Then she turned her gaze back to me. “I can handle it.”
I knew her front was weak. My words would sting badly. But I would be there for her. “Nathan knows you’ve been in love with him forever. Jeremy does too. He wants to sleep with you and he’s been wondering how serious you and I are. But he wants a one-night stand. He doesn’t want anything more than that and he’s not sure how to get it from you other than tricking you.”
She stared at me blankly, like she didn’t understand a word I said.
“He doesn’t respect you or care about you. He just wants to get between your legs…I’m sorry.”
She stared at the floor for a moment before she turned her eyes to me. “I can believe some of that…but not all of it.”
What?
“Maybe you didn’t hear him right. You were in the bathroom.”
Denial? That’s what she was going to do? Deny everything? “No, I heard him perfectly clear.”
“Nathan probably said he’s known I’ve been into him for a long time. But he isn’t the kind of guy who would trick me. He’s honest—always.”
This was backfiring. “I know what I heard, Meadow. I have no reason to lie to you.”
“I’m not calling you a liar,” she said immediately. “I just think you heard him wrong. Maybe it was Jeremy you heard.”
“I know what I heard,” I snapped. “I’m not confused. Their voices were as clear as the host of a radio show. Don’t brush this aside so you can believe what you want to believe. Don’t be stupid, Meadow.” I didn’t mean to come off so mean but she was pissing me off.
“I know you’re just trying to help,” she said. “But I know Nathan better than you do. I’ve known him my whole life. He would never hurt me on purpose. I’m different than his bimbos and skanks. He actually respects me.”