Commitment in relationships goes both ways. Sure, we all wish our bosses would lead and show their commitment to us, but it doesn’t always work that way. Your boss might not be the healthiest person. People that were in your role before you may have burned your boss. If you knew more of the story, you might understand why your boss doesn’t seem committed to you. Go ahead and put the ring on the finger. See if it changes the relationship. I think Beyoncé is right: the ring takes the relationship to the next level. Don’t wait on your boss. Go ahead and put it on ’em.
Learn what you need to learn.
To think God cannot use bad leaders to grow a church, organization, or even you is ludicrous. God has used bad leaders for generations. Where would we be if Daniel had said, “I just can’t learn under Nebuchadnezzar. I need to leave.” The church at large wouldn’t be what it is today if it always took great leaders to get stuff done! I say that because too many young leaders seem shocked to have had bad bosses. Sometimes, if our boss isn’t the greatest of bosses, we act like God is not in the situation. I imagine God just shaking his head, thinking, If you only knew how many bad bosses I’ve used over the years.
What if God wants to accomplish something in you more than he wants to accomplish something through you? What if the only way for him to grow it in you is to put you under a bad leader? Don’t we all learn more from times of struggle than we do from times of ease? Of course we do. When I desire what God wants to teach me more than I desire getting done what I want to get done, I am in the best place. It would be tragic for you to leave before you have learned what God wants you to learn!
Checking the boxes before you decide to leave is about leaving well. It’s about learning what you need to learn before you leave. But, of course, after all the boxes have been checked, it still might be time to leave. You may have done everything you can do to make the best out of the situation you’re in, and the only solution is to leave. At some point, many of us are going to be in situations where leaving is the most courageous move possible. If that’s the spot you’re in, I’m praying for you now. Working for a bad boss is tough enough. And leaving a job is not an easy thing to do. Knowing when and if to leave is sometimes tricky. It’s rarely crystal clear, but if more than a few of these signs are present, it might be as clear as it will get.
• If you dread going to work and are miserable every day . . .
• If your lack of passion has rendered you ineffective . . .
• If the requirements of the position are hurting you or your family . . .
• If you’re experiencing emotional stress due to your boss . . .
• If you aren’t receiving proper compensation . . .
• If your responsibilities continue to increase but the pay doesn’t . . .
• If you’re unable to trust your boss because of unethical behavior . . .
• If those around you agree that a new opportunity is too good to pass up . . .
• If God has clearly called you to leave . . .
You were created with inalienable rights as a human being and as a child of God, but you were also created with inalienable responsibilities as a leader. Do not miss what God has for you by failing to lead yourself well. Perhaps God has put you in the position you are in to help you learn what you need to learn to lead yourself well. If you lead yourself well, you will ensure that you are always led well, whether you are under a great boss or not!
CHAPTER 5
CHOOSE POSITIVITY
Learning to lead when you’re not in charge is not a linear process. Your identity is always evolving. Becoming a leader doesn’t follow an undergraduate course catalogue. There is no 101, 201, or 301 course flow that takes you through developing the depth of character, confidence, and composure required for good leadership. It’s more of an ongoing process, running parallel to your professional development. You never graduate from the responsibility of leading yourself, of course. That’s a lifelong discipline. And the good news is that you’re never too young to begin and you’re never too old to pick it back up. Just because we’re moving on to the next chapter, don’t turn the figurative page on allowing God to develop a deep-rooted sense of identity based on what he says about you. And please do not turn the page on the challenge to lead yourself. Those two foundational pursuits provide the tracks for the locomotive of leadership.
When I experienced that moment of clarity in Andy’s office a few years ago, I resolved to become the leader I wanted to be, the leader I knew I could be, and the leader God calls me to be. To do that, there were some practical behaviors that needed my attention and intention. The next few chapters unpack those behaviors, and they will help you develop into the kind of leader who can effectively lead others, even when you’re not in charge.
PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING
I have a certain way in which I see the world. You have it too. Every human on planet earth does. It’s what makes us unique. When I was in fourth grade, I remember getting a sticker of a thumb that read, “I’m Thumb-body.” It’s true. And so are you. And what makes me the “thumb-body” I am is how I “thee the world.” I’ll th-top with that for now.
One of the greatest differences in the way each of us sees the world is in how we define the word “vacation.” My wife, Jenny, and I couldn’t be more different on this.
• I want to see new places. She wants to lie on a beach and read a new book.
• I want to get to the airport just before they shut the gate. She wants to arrive two hours early. She wants enough time for them to actually change our gate to a different gate. I would like to be goosed by the Jetway door as it closes. “Oh, hello! Just in time!”
• I want to put on headphones and listen to music on the plane. She wants deep, intimate conversation, just barely loud enough to be heard over the hum of the plane. On our honeymoon, just after I put my headphones on, she pulled them out with a confused look. “I thought we were going to talk.” Oh, but of course! Let’s talk.
• I want to eat myself sick all week. I would like the last morsel of cheesecake to fall into my mouth just before I fall asleep. She wants to work out every day.
• I can’t sleep past 7:00 a.m., even on vacation. Jenny doesn’t want to even think about getting out of bed before 9:00 a.m.
You’re welcome to circle the ways you see vacation, just to prove how right I am. Then send me a screenshot so I can share that with my wife and show her how right I am. Despite what she says, the way I think about a vacation is obviously the right way to see it, because it’s the way I see vacation happening. I’m only half kidding about this.
In Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, Steven Covey says, “We see the world, not as it is, but as we are—or as we’re conditioned to see it.”1 How we see the world has less to do with the way the world is and more to do with the way we are. That situation at work that’s frustrating you might have more to do with you than the situation itself. And to understand how to effectively work and lead under someone else’s leadership, you have to understand this matter of perspective.
I think Covey’s next comment is also worth noting. “We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as the world we see and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.”2 When we’re trying to understand our role and how to find satisfaction in our job even when we lack the power of authority to effect change, we must first look at the lens through which we see the world.
I deeply believe this is true. How do I know?
Because somewhere in this grand world, there is someone who has a similar skill set, educational background, and amount of experience as you, is in a similar job, at a similar church or organization, has similar challenges—and actually likes the situation, because of the way he or she sees it.
There is someone, somewhere facing a similar situation and is seeing life with a lens that allows them to have more influence, excitement, and contentment. You can either let that frustrate you or you can learn fr
om this. Personally, I’ll choose to learn from it.
How you see your world shapes your world. And you have a say in how you see.
THE PANORAMIC OPTION
In 2013, Apple released the iPhone 4 and like addicts, we lined up for blocks to get our paws on the newest piece of technology from Jobs and Wozniak. With the iPhone 4, there was a new panoramic option on the camera that was creating lots of buzz. The new feature allowed horizontal, elongated pictures with a 180-degree field of view. In the past, this unique perspective was only possible by taking multiple pictures and “Photoshopping” them together or by taking out a second mortgage to purchase an extra-wide-angle, fish-eye lens to capture the shot.
The brilliance of the panoramic option was that it gave iPhone owners the possibility of capturing 180-degree beauties right from the phone in their pocket. The process of making something beautiful was made efficient. If a picture is worth a thousand words, a panoramic photo is novel-esque. There is something powerful about being able to see, in a two-dimensional photograph, something akin to what our eyes behold in reality. The panoramic picture captures a realistic viewpoint and allows you to study it to appreciate dimensions of beauty you may not have noticed before.
I have a similar experience when I travel and see different parts of the world. My eyes are open to the world around me every day, of course, but when I get away to a new environment, I see things from a different vantage point. I may be looking at something familiar, but because of where I am, I’m looking at it differently. The more I see of the world, the better I see my own world. And the better you see your world, the more informed and equipped you will be to make wise decisions. Understanding can help you develop patience, graciousness, and greater discernment for all of life. A wider angle brings a wiser perspective.
I call this the ability to see the world with a panoptic lens. It’s the ability to see how things fit together. It’s about seeing how you fit into God’s big picture. It’s seeing your organization’s big picture and how you can contribute. You’ll need to fight to see things from this perspective, and you must constantly work to broaden your view. As you seek this wide-lens perspective, you may be able to better see and feel how your role is connected to what the organization is ultimately trying to do.
Your church or organization has a mission. And your church or organization probably has a unique vision. Even if your boss (or bosses) hasn’t made them clear, they’re there. You don’t have to wait until someone makes them clear for you to make them clear for yourself. While it may be your manager’s responsibility to communicate the mission and vision, responsibility for learning them is yours. And once you’ve found that “why we exist” piece, smack-dab at the top of your job responsibilities should be connecting your specific role to that overall mission and vision. This isn’t a onetime thing. It’s part of your everyday duties as you serve the organization and follow whomever God has placed in leadership over you.
SATISFACTION, VALUE, AND MEANING
Researchers have identified this panoptic view as one of the key drivers for employee satisfaction. They’ve found that the satisfaction employees have in their job is directly correlated to their ability to see how what they do fits into the big picture. Once you embrace the panoptic view, you will begin to make better sense of all things—the smallest of details and the largest of challenges.
The satisfaction employees have in a job is directly correlated to their ability to see how what they do fits into the big picture.
Feeling valued and finding meaning as an employee goes far beyond compensation and appreciation. Dale Carnegie Training developed a white paper a few years ago titled “What Drives Employee Engagement and Why It Matters.” Their research describes the evolution required for employees to move from feeling “esteemed” to “involved” to “enthusiastic” to eventually becoming a “Builder Employee.”3 This is the person willing to go the extra mile in customer service, spreads enthusiasm across their team, and take the success of the church or organization personally. So, what does it take for employees to move from mildly engaged to deeply engaged? Those leaders who feel a strong sense of ownership and have made the crucial connection between what their job is and how it drives results for the organization are more deeply engaged.4
Notice the key points of that conclusion. Leaders who feel a strong sense of ownership are leaders who connect their job to the results of the organization. That’s the essence of seeing your job through the panoptic lens. And you can make the choice today to begin to see the big picture.
What you’re doing matters most in light of what your organization is trying to accomplish. Of course, your boss carries responsibility for helping you make that connection, but it’s also your responsibility. It’s your responsibility to look for ways to connect what you do each day to those overall goals and objectives. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” Your manager can make the connection clear or he or she can make it muddy, but it’s your duty to hold that objective in front of you.
I’ve had bosses who naturally did this well and others who didn’t. In both cases, I’ve had to keep my eye on the big picture, and that has helped me develop a sense of commitment, even when I’ve had what felt like a minuscule role. It’s also important to remember that there’s always more going on than what I can see. God is always working on something in me and I can rarely see it while it’s happening. There is no wasted time in God’s economy. When you keep your focus on that, it helps you keep the perspective you need to be able to dig in deeply where God has put you.
THE PANOPTIC PYRAMID
Seeing with a panoptic view is a posture for leadership. It’s built on a deep trust in God and a persistent hope in the future. When you work to see the big picture, it will also help you get behind your leader, even if they aren’t the best. You’ll wear the team jersey, even when you might disagree. You’ll start to feel ownership, even for decisions you didn’t make. To help me connect the way I view things with the results I experience in my life and in my job, I’ve developed this crazy-looking pyramid:
Here’s how to try out this posture for yourself. You already have a lens through which you’re seeing your current situation. Maybe it’s the way you see your relationship with your boss. Maybe it’s the way you see your work, feeling it doesn’t make a difference. All leaders have something or someone informing how they see their situation. Consider the apostle Paul. I find it fascinating to read his letter to the Philippians while thinking about where he was when he wrote it. Four times in the first chapter, Paul explicitly refers to the chains he is wearing as he writes.
Now I’ve never spent a night in jail, but I did get sent to detention a few times in high school. I remember the mood I was in. I wasn’t fit to write anything positive about the world. My view on the world was fearful, angry, and quite negative. Not Paul, though. Paul was in chains when he wrote the following verses: “Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ” (Phil. 1:12–13, emphasis mine).
What the what? Somehow, some way, Paul was able to lift his head in the midst of his dark situation and see the bigger picture of the opportunities in front of him. He was convinced God was up to something, despite his situation. His chains said that he was useless, facing a dead end. But he did not allow the chains to determine his vision. Instead, he saw his chains through a panoptic view. Instead of limiting his ministry, the chains now appeared useful, indicating he was blessed and advancing God’s purposes.
The way you see is more important than the tragedy.
The way you see is stronger than any calamity.
The way you see is bigger than the details of the catastrophe.
I know your job right now is not a tragedy or a calamity or a catastrophe, but when the
wave of rhymes is rolling, I’ve learned to get on the surfboard and ride. I am saying that if you are frustrated with your job because you don’t have the seniority you feel you need, you don’t have the authority you were told you’d have, or you don’t have control over the decision-making to be able to effect the change you want to make, don’t give up! Don’t settle! Don’t let the frustration you feel over what you don’t have keep you from doing what you can do. Changing your perspective on your situation can change everything. Seeing what you do have will allow you to overcome what you don’t.
Paul got this. Somehow he didn’t get lost in the weeds and miss what was in front of him. Paul’s panoptic vision told him, “I’m not chained to this prison guard. This prison guard is chained to me!” He stayed true to his calling even when the odds were stacked against him. He kept his eyes up even when his feet were in chains. I want what he had. If Paul had this view in prison, hopefully, it’s possible for you and me to have it where God has put us.
WHAT INFORMS YOUR VIEW?
What you believe about God and how you see the future are foundational voices for how you will lead right now. A small view of God leads to an outlook of despair. An outlook of despair for the future will lead to being consumed with your present circumstances. Looking again at Paul’s letter to the Philippians, we see this was true for him. The two pillars that supported Paul’s panoptic view were his trust in God and his hope for the future. These two foundations allowed Paul to see what the normal person couldn’t. No matter what was happening or what was going to happen, Paul’s perspective allowed him to bow his knee to his boss (his jailer) while maintaining a strong drive and passion for what God was going to do in the future. It allowed him to stand firm when the footing of his circumstances was wobbly. Listen to how Paul sees God at work in his circumstances: “I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance” (Phil. 1:18–19, emphasis mine).
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