Princess Ces'alena (Webster Fields)

by Mercedes Keyes

  THREE WEEKS LATER:

  Once again Manny rode down the lane between cabins, this time with Charles by his side. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Lena’s cabin. He had failed. Chester Sands with his group of slaves were no where to be found.

  When he’d rode out weeks ago searching, he felt, rather than comfort Lena - the best remedy would be to find their son and bring him home. He returned to town, sought out Charles, informing him of the events taken place and together they searched. First they talked to Percy and anyone else, who might have information on Chester Sands and the places he was known to travel to. Where would he take the slaves to auction them off? Just as Percy was sure of nothing, neither was anyone else. What little they did gather, led to Yazoo City. They’d ridden hard all the way there, stopping at every town in between; splitting up, and then meeting at a pre-planned location to exchange news on what they’d found…nothing.

  Everywhere they went, no one had seen or heard of a slave trader by the name of Chester Sands. Finally Charles put his foot down, demanding they return home. Neither had had much sleep; meals were neglected and both needed a bath and a shave. They were weary and worn. Manny looked like death warmed over. “Look at you Manny, my God man…are you trying to kill yourself? We’re getting nowhere like this! You’re going to wear yourself out and fall dead on your face long before we find him. Manny, we have to stop now-…”

  “No! I won’t stop!! I won’t!” He cried angrily, feeling tears burn his bloodshot eyes. Charles took a deep breath. “Manny, I up and left with no word as to where I’d be, or when I’d be back. I have a business to run-..”

  “My son is missing!!! My son is missing!! Go! Return to your damned business!!!” He raged.

  Charles took a deep breath. He was worn out…he loved Manny, and would love to stay out searching, at first, he too believed they might be able to catch up with Sands. At least if they could just catch his trail…they’d find him; however, now… he knew they needed to formulate a different plan for this search. “Manny, we need some rest. I need some rest.”

  “I need my son! Nothing more, just – to find my son!”

  “Manny! We need to stop and replenish our supplies. We need to sit down and plan our next move. Right now, we’re running around in desperate circles.” He continued to plead…sympathetic but realistic. Manny didn’t say anything this time. He was leaning over the neck of his second horse. He’d pushed the other and ended up injuring it, he’d had to put it out of it’s misery.

  His face was buried in the crook of his arm. He took a deep breath, raised himself erect, and turned to Charles...raw fear etched in every line of his rough haggard face. “Where’s my son Charles…where — where’s my son?” He asked brokenly, tears streaming again. He felt he was going to drop and die from the agony of it.

  “Manny…” Charles said, swallowing the growing moisture in his mouth from becoming choked up as well.

  “What’s happening to him right now? Oh God…I can’t take it. I can’t take - what’s … in my head!” Remembering the horrors of how he found Leon came to mind, his suffering was bad enough. But this was worse…this was his own son. Memories of that fat dirty barkeep molesting Leon made him conjure up all sorts of horrors that might face Mike. He knew what often happened to young slave boys; they were bought and kept by men with sick distorted perversions. Charles also knew what Manny was thinking, having been there when he’d found Leon.

  “Manny…you keep imagining what you are, and you’ll go mad!”

  “I’m already going - fucking mad!!! When I get my hands, on that Chester Sands…I swear by God - I will peel the flesh from his body…inch by fucking inch! Savoring his every scream!”

  “Even so, for now…we have to go home. We need a bit of time to get ourselves together, and then…we take up the search…again.” He knew Manny well enough to know, that he would do as he said once he found that man. He was afraid for his friend but he would worry about that later. Manny was raw now…there was little that could be said that would penetrate the fog. Charles had always been the level headed one of the two. Manny was pure power and passion. He, Charles, was logic and control. Manny was more sensitive and emotional — he always acted impulsively on what he felt for the moment.

  Never stopping and thinking it through first if it was in his gut…he manifested it; to later on realize he might have been wrong.

  Charles was more objective, watchful and careful in his actions. He was hasty in nothing. Of the two, he was more agile, slender; of whipcord leanness, and didn’t look as strong as he was; dressed always in dapper attire, suiting him perfectly for the business world.

  Of the two, Charles always caught the eyes of the ladies first, but Manny usually pulled them easily with his rugged primitiveness. Few could resist such animal magnetism. At the moment, he was pure animal; this was the case when it came to those he loved, especially his son and Lena.

  Charles just hoped that after a while he would cool down and see the error of seeking to kill Chester Sands. If it were not for the stigma attached to his relationship with Lena, he might get away with it.

  Charles knew that the present day society would view him through tainted eyes…he was a lover of black people. Negroes and Indians had no rights, and no place in elite, white society…the very darkness of their skin had placed them so.

  They were less than human simply because, those in power decided, white, fair and light was what made mankind human. Because Manny sided with those of dark cast - they might trial him for murdering Chester Sands and even possibly hang him.

  Later that same day when they rode into town, they both had a hot bath, a shave; a change of clothing and something to eat, even though Manny picked at his with no appetite. This due to Charles’s insistence, because they were a sight…not to mention a smelly pair. Manny was forced to agree, and now…it was nine o’clock late evening when they rode back to Webster Fields together.

  Kayleen became aware of their return as they made their way through the main lane toward the barn. Quickly she ran to put her plan into action once again.

  In the barn, the two men rubbed down their animals as Henry joined them there. Manny looked up and once again felt tears rush to his eyes, clearing his throat, he admitted. “I didn’t find him.”

  “Not yet.” Charles inserted.

  “We — we kinda figga that.” Henry added, his sad eyes on Manny, knowing what he’d gone through, with the added knowledge of the women’s plans; it wasn’t something he felt good about. Fact is, the marks on his back proved no one controlled the world they lived in, not even Manny. Jordan soon entered - hesitantly…he simply could not stand anymore heartache. His back would never be the same, and as traumatizing as it was, the suffering he endured for that child and this man - he would willingly do it over again. There was no regret in him. But now…as he stepped forward to meet Manny, and offer what support he could, there was an aching deep in his soul, because he knew for Manny…there was more to come.

  Charles watched as more still came in, Leon included…not a dry eye among them…it hit him then, with absolute startling clarity…these people loved Manny, and he loved them. They were family…he was beginning to understand, slowly, the why’s of his questions to Manny.

  Each one came to him, all men…hugging him, holding onto him, in their own way letting him know, they were there for him. For the first time ever, Charles felt a slight twinge of jealousy… what it must be like…to have so many people respect you, honor you, and love you to the extent…that they would lay down their lives.

  Clearing his throat, with Leon beside him, looking at him with eyes of love and loyalty, Manny informed them, “I - I didn’t find him.” Tears came again as he tried to blink them away. “I - to you all…who tried to save my - who tried…I umm, I’m sorry - I wasn’t here for you. For my - my son.”

  “Manny…you ain’t got to say that to us.” Jordan broke in, swallowing hard.

  “I do…you could have bee
n killed. Any one of you. Umm-…” He stopped to wipe a hand over his face to dry the tears. “This will not - go un-rewarded-…”

  “What you mean?” Jordan asked gruffly. “Ain’t nobody here askin’ for nothin’ for what we do! I ain’t…is you? Is you? You?” He asked those around who all shook their heads. Looking back at Manny he said, “We love that boy too! He was just as much part’o us…as he part’o you! We just need you to know, what we do…we do to protect you…and yours! That’s all.” Jordan finished. Those last few words had a double meaning but Manny wouldn’t know that now. All had come to the decision to back Lena and Kayleen and Ma’ Nicey…because that child, the baby Hope, had to be protected at all cost.

  While they loved and honored Manny, they finally came to understand the extent of his limitations. He was only a man… one man, at that.

  Manny nodded, too choked up to say anymore…he still had Lena to face. They knew this, and began departing so that he could face her. “Don’t forget what I say. What we do, we do to protect you…and yours. Don’t forget that.” Jordan squeezed Manny in one more hug, then turned and walked out of the barn. Charles for the first time was privy to emotions that were usually displayed among Manny and his slaves…now he saw it first hand. It was quite an awakening. “Go on to the house. If you’d like to go to bed, just chose whichever room for your comfort. I have to ummm-…”

  “I know. I’ll be fine.” After Charles left, Manny stood outside the barn unable to move. How could he face her? Their son was gone.

  His wife, his “legal” wife - had sold him. He closed his eyes; the tears would not stop – he wanted to drop to his knees and weep until he was unconscious. Ever playing in his mind, was his every return that he, Mike was there to meet him, challenging him to a race. With every return home, he would be stabbed with the fact, that his son was gone! He took a deep breath, and forced his feet to move toward her cabin. Again he stopped, his stomach ached...he was afraid to face her. He turned and went to Jordan’s cabin. Jordan was sitting out on the porch when he walked up. Jean, was sitting there as well, she and Jordan had been together for some time. She stood, hugged him without a word, and then turned entering their home.

  “What’s wrong?” Jordan asked. Manny stood on the steps looking at him. Besides Charles, Jordan was his closest friend…and in many ways, closer than he and Charles had ever been. Charles knew a lot about him, but as for Jordan, he knew it all – everything – to the deepest secret part of him, to his very soul. Both men matched in size, even as young boys. Jordan had been at Webster Fields since he was a boy of eight, and Manny ten. He had originally belonged to the O’Brien’s; named after Jordan Lee himself. But he had been such a rascal. Often in the company of Josephine and Manny, taking part in trouble that landed him close to a beating, so often his mama asked for him to be sent home with Manny to keep him out of Jordan Lee O’Brien’s hair. Morris had readily agreed…and brought him home with him, to Manny’s joy – to be his child-hood playmate - companion. From that moment on, he and Manny did all together…until Manny grew of age to attend college. Now Manny stood at his cabin porch, with his guts tied in a knot.

  “I’m scared to death of facing her …how do I face her?” Manny finally blurted.

  “The only way you can. She know you here, she know too, Mikey ain’t wit’cha. She bout waitin’ on you.”

  Manny nodded, taking several breaths to calm his insides…but they were working him something awful. He looked up at Jordan one last time, took another breath and strode off. Jordan shook his head, leaning forward with his face in hands. “Jesus — why life got’ta be such hell?”

  Manny stood at Lena’s door, nervous with dread; he raised his hand and knocked. A second later, Kayleen opened it - seeing her right then, was his undoing…his face crumpled. She grabbed him to her and stepped outside closing the door behind her.

  “Hush darlin’ — hush.”

  “Kay-leen…I can’t take it…I can’t.” He sobbed holding her. “You got to take it chile. You got to… ain’t nothing can be done, to undo it.”

  “I should have never married her - why did I marry her?”

  Kayleen grabbed him by the shoulders and backed him to a chair on the porch; sitting him into it. “Listen here boy. You done picked…a hard road to travel. This my fault … just as much yours…if not more. I ain’t have no business helping you to love that girl in there. You should have had her, like you did the rest…then this day, wouldn’t be.”

  “Kayleen…what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying… you a white man chile. You belong in the white world. Stop this mixing in our world. Stop it.”

  “For a while, I sho’ thought what we had was different and real… and all our own, to do our own will. That’s just crazy nonsense. That kinda thinkin’ done brought about too much heartache and pain. Enough now…it’s enough.”

  “I don’t understand?”

  “Sho’ you do. You do…and after you heal, you start going the way you suppose to go. But this…this ain’t it no more…it just ain’t.”

  With lost confused eyes, he stared up at her with his mind in a whirl.

  “I love you boy…always will. But it’s time now to wake up…and realize, we can’t keep the world, from coming in on us. We can’t…we just can’t.” She pulled his head to her, and kissed his brow, then hugged him to her breast. She let go and walked away with squared shoulders to her cabin. There, in the privacy of it…she would face her conscience for taking part in breaking him.

  Lena had been listening at the window and heard. She looked up toward the new room at the end of her cabin…where her son once slept. Her guts twisted and turned as her heart hammered. “I don’t wanna do this. Please, I don’t wanna do this. Please Lord, God – give him strength, give me strength.” She whimpered low. The tap on her door came. Both hands flew to her face trying to prepare herself. The door opened, “Lena? It’s me…” Manny warned at the door looking in carefully to locate her. She was sitting there at the table; now facing him.

  Neither knew what to do, how to make the next move to get through what they had to. Gulping back moisture gathering in his mouth, Manny fought back more tears and entered. Moving slow and careful as if afraid to shift the stillness they were in, he leaned back against the closed door, and waited for himself to speak, not yet knowing what he’d say.

  Lena looked down at her folded hands. Her palms were sweaty as her head spun from the over abundance of stress they were both under. The tension in the room built. She had to break the silence before she threw herself into his arms and ruined everything that was planned. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and hold him, comfort him, offer him the support he so badly needed. She wanted him to know, that she loved him more now, than she ever did. Instead, she must pretend otherwise.

  “You didn’t find him.”

  It was not a question but a soft spoken fact. He swallowed. “No - no, I didn’t.”

  She bit into her lip for control.

  Manny clenched his fist behind him. “I - I won’t give up Lena. I’ll find him, God as my witness I will!” He declared passionately. Moving from the door and dropping to his knees before her, he took her hands in his.

  Lena snatched them back quickly and stood, walking around him and away. She crossed the room to the partition. She couldn’t let him touch her. It was vital to her resolve to go through with it to protect their newborn daughter…their Hope.

  Her actions shocked him; then scared him. “Lena?” He called to her softly, and turned to stand by the table, looking at her back. “Please, talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”

  “What is there to say? My son is gone…chained and shackled like an…echmm, like an animal. Being sold…and - less valued than a steer or a horse. What is there to say? He’s a slave - born of a slave. What more is there to say…absolutely nothing, there’s nothing left for-…”

  “My God?! Please, don’t say that! Why are you saying these things to me?! Why
are you being so cold?!”

  She gripped one of the partition posts so tightly it hurt. ‘Think about Hope Lena! Think about Hope! You wanna lose her too!? See her being snatched away as well?! Don’t you give in! Don’t you dare give in!’ Over and over she focused on those words; she could feel herself choking up. Out of fear of weakening, she rushed herself. “Cold Manny? If only that were true! Then this ache in my heart would not be! I hurt Manny…for so many reasons. I hurt because now, well - there’s nothing left for us…nothing-…”

  “Stop it!!” He shouted rushing to her, turning her around to face him.

  “Get your hands off me!! Don’t ever touch me again!! You hear me?! There’s nothing left for us! It’s over! My son is-…”

  “Our son!” He shouted again, gripping her tightly.

  “I said let go of me! Nooow!” She twisted herself out of his hands. “Look! Don’t you understand?! This happened for a reason?! To wake me up! I’m getting only what I deserve for believing – for – it was to show me, we can never be happy together!”

  “Please don’t do this! I can’t take this now! Not now!” He pleaded feeling as though his knees would buckle.

  “I have no choice! We can’t go back Manny. We can’t ever go back.”

  “Why are you saying these things to me!? Why?”

  She turned away, unable to look at him. ‘Oh my God…help me to do this! I have to do this!’ Her heart banged so hard in her chest it hurt. “I need you to leave now. Please, just leave me.”

  “No! Hell no, I’m not going anywhere until we talk this out. Look at me!” He begged. She turned to him, using his anger to fuel her, and coldly stated. “Don’t you understand, there’s nothing for us to work-out! What’s happening between us now was going to happen anyway, Mikey here or not!”