Maybe Luke was right. Maybe all Charlie had ever needed was a little bit of space. The sad part was that Charlie had been saying that all along, and I just hadn’t stopped to really listen. I wanted one hour of unsupervised time, just to be alone—to sleep, undisturbed. Maybe I wasn’t helping him at all. Maybe I’d been part of the problem.
“Hey look,” Luke said, nodding out the front window. I hoped that I’d look up and see the first few flakes of snow as they drifted to the ground, but that didn’t seem plausible with the recent heat wave we were experiencing. I looked up, and I saw nothing but the sunshine blazing through the glass.
“More sun,” I said, letting go of a slow breath. “Where is the snow, Luke?”
“I think the sunshine’s a good thing.”
“How so?”
“Seventy degree weather in the middle of December,” he said, looking down to me. “It’s just another reminder that things don’t always go the way we expect them to, Jules. There are surprises around every corner.”
“Ugh, but I hate surprises.”
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that once or twice,” he said, tightening his hold on me. “But life’s all about change, the welcome and unwelcome.”
“Right.”
“So you have to ask yourself one question.”
“What’s that?”
“Are you ready for what comes next?”
I paused. It was a question I couldn’t answer.
I didn’t know if I was ready for anything more—good or bad. I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready. I’d learned very quickly that life was all about living through change, beating the odds, and overcoming even the worst struggles, but at what point would it all become easier? Would it ever get easier?
I didn’t know.
I guess Luke was right when he said that we never really know anything for certain. But if all I had was one very uncertain future to look forward to, I could rest happily knowing that I wouldn’t have to go through anything alone. I had Luke. I had Matt. And for now, and hopefully for a very long time, I had Charlie.
How could anything bad come of that?
###
A Little Beyond Hope
Tracie Puckett
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents depicted in this collection are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons—living or dead—is coincidental.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
First Edition. 2015.
Cover photography © Dmitri Gromov | Dreamstime.com
www.traciepuckett.com
Chapter One
Three Months Later
“Wait, what?”
The sound of Matt’s hard footsteps stopped abruptly on the sidewalk, and I slowed my pace and halted right next to him. With his hands still shoved into the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt, my cousin peered at me, no longer concerned with the impending rain. For the ten minutes leading up to my big revelation at the edge of the Historic District, Mattie hadn’t shut up about the weather. It’s all I’d heard for our entire walk since we’d left the house: Hurry up, Julie. It’s going to pour. Rain, rain, rain. That’s all he’d cared about.
But the rain was the least of his concerns now, that’s for sure; the weather didn’t matter at all now that I’d told him what was going on.
I’d asked him to tag along with me on my visit to Grace and Lonnie’s flower shop that afternoon, and he’d agreed—with conditions. He wanted to know why I was so desperate for company.
Desperate.
Okay. He was right; I’d begged him to come with me. I couldn’t imagine walking in there without a friendly face at my side.
Please, Mattie. Please, I’d begged. And for a while, all I’d gotten out of him was a ‘you love Grace and Lonnie; they’re practically family. If you want to see them, go see them. You don’t need a chaperone.’
And sure, yes I knew that. I didn’t need someone there to hold my hand or watch over me. I just needed someone there to help soften the blow—you know, if it came to that. And since he’d worked at the flower shop for so long and had built up a rapport with the Reibecks, I knew that he’d have a remarkable ability to calm Luke’s parents if they became too emotional or overwhelmed by the news I had to share.
But first I had to get through to him, and he didn’t like what he was hearing. He’d demanded an answer, so an answer was what he got. He stared at me, his mouth gaped open and his eyes wide. He hadn’t blinked once since I told him.
“I don’t understand. What happened?”
“Nothing’s happened,” I promised, starting to walk again. Matt jogged a few steps forward to keep up with me before resuming his steady pace down the sidewalk. As we continued side by side toward our destination, I could feel his blue eyes burning into the side of my face.
He wanted more of an explanation, but I didn’t know what to say. I’d known all along that everyone would doubt the decision, but that still didn’t help me prepare for the flood of concern or questions I’d get from my family. Charlie, I was certain, would breathe a lot easier, but the look on Matt’s face alone was proof enough that my cousin wasn’t going to be an easy sell. How could I explain this to him without him seeing the truth behind my lies? Matt knew me better than most. The moment I started talking, he’d catch on; he’d know there was more to the story than I was giving him.
I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. “Luke and I have talked this over. It’s the right thing to do.”
“I don’t understand. You’re calling off the wedding?”
“That’s not what I said. I said we’re putting it on hold. Two different things, Mattie.”
“What’s that even mean? Are you still engaged? Broken up? Did he back out on the wedding—is that why you’re calling it off?”
“We’re not calling it off!” I said, throwing my head back. I stared at the cloudy sky as I allowed myself three deep breaths.
“What about all of your plans? You’re putting everything on hold?”
“There weren’t a lot of plans to put on hold in the first place,” I said, throwing him a scathing look that warned him against pointing out the giant flower order I’d placed last week. “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. I need time. Luke needs time. He’s swamped at work, and I can’t even begin to think of planning a wedding when I’m up to my nose in homework every night.”
Lie. In spite of my classes, homework, and exams, I hadn’t stopped focusing on the wedding. I’d even gone as far as dragging Luke down to the flower shop last week to discuss the details of the floral arrangements. I’d basically planned the entire wedding in my head. The only thing left to do was put the plans on paper, make it official, and wait until the big day … the big day that Luke had asked we postpone.
And that left me to explain to all of our friends and family why those save the date cards were never going to reach their mailboxes…and it left me to explain to his parents why they wouldn’t be fulfilling that flower order they’d so delightfully promised.
“The engagement’s off, then?”
“No,” I said, working hard to steady my breath. “The engagement is on. We’re still happily in love and making our way in the world. The wedding, though, is going to have to wait.”
“But—”
“There’s nothing wrong with taking a little bit of time,” I said, repeating the words Luke had said to me last night. “We want to do this the right way, and there’s no reason to rush it.”
“A
re you guys fighting?”
“No.”
“Breaking up?”
“No!”
“Julie!” Matt yelled, stopping again just outside the floral shop. “I know you! I know you better than you know you. You don’t take your time; you act on your emotions. You’re the most impulsive person I’ve ever known. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t drag Luke down to the courthouse the moment he put that ring on your finger. You haven’t shut up about the engagement or the wedding in months, and now all of a sudden you’ve decided to ‘take your time?’ You can feed those lies to everyone else, but I’m sorry; I don’t buy it.”
Of course he didn’t. I’d known all along that he wouldn’t, and the fact that I’d just lied to him with hopes that he would was just wishful thinking on my part.
“Okay,” I took a deep breath, calmly taking a step toward my cousin. “If I promise to tell you the real reason we’ve decided to wait, can you promise to keep it a secret?”
“Yes. Absolutely,” he crossed his finger over his heart.
“You can’t tell your dad,” I pointed a finger at him. “Swear you won’t tell him. He can’t find out. Not yet.”
Charlie was the biggest danger of all, I was certain. That’s why I hadn’t planned to tell my uncle the whole truth; it was best to keep it vague: Charlie, we’ve decided to wait. He wouldn’t question that. He’d be so elated by the news that he wouldn’t press or ask questions. But if he found out the real reason, there’s no telling how he’d react.
My Uncle Charlie treasured Luke’s commitment to their team, and he wouldn’t be happy if he learned what Luke was up to. Since finally getting back to work at the Oakland PD, Charlie was finally back on the right track—no more health scares, flawless work ethic. The last thing I needed was for Matt to slip up and say something he shouldn’t say. I didn’t want to send Charlie back to the hospital with another heart attack.
“I swear,” he said. “I won’t say a word.” After a brief moment of silence, he leaned forward and peered at me. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“God, Mattie, no,” I said. “We’re putting the wedding on hold for Luke’s career.”
“Luke’s career?” he asked. “You mean, the get-in-the-patrol-car-and-drive-around-until-he-sees-something-fishy career? The job he already has—the one he’s dreamed of having his whole life? He’s already doing exactly what he wants to do. What more could he want?”
“He’s looking for a change of scenery,” I said, finally alluding to the somewhat truth of it all.
“He’s leaving the OPD?” he asked, his eyes growing wider. “Luke wants to leave Oakland?”
“He’s weighing his options.”
“But why? Where would he go?” he asked. “What are the options? Will he have to move? God, Julie. Are you moving? What about the house? Luke just bought the—”
“I get it,” I said, hoping to leave it at that and say as little else as possible. “Nothing is set in stone. He has an offer from another station. There was a vacancy in their lineup, and he applied for the position.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He says he never thought they’d consider him, so he didn’t see any harm in putting his name in the hat. But obviously they’re considering him now, and he’s realizing he has a big decision to make.”
“So he wants to leave Oakland?”
“He wants to keep his options open.”
“But Oakland—”
“Isn’t all that far from West Bridge,” I said, closing my eyes.
It was hard to think of returning home, living in the same town I’d left behind after losing my parents. It was even harder to imagine the man I loved working under the same roof my father had worked under for the entirety of his career. But I vowed to support him, no matter what he wanted. And if Luke wanted to go to West Bridge … then we were going to West Bridge. And where did that leave our relationship? I wasn’t too sure. Between the possibility of a job change, selling the house, and the upcoming wedding, Luke felt it was best to lighten the load. Just for a while, he promised. Whether that meant weeks, months, or maybe even years … I didn’t know. He wasn’t saying. All I knew is he needed less to focus on, and that meant our wedding was off.
“You’re not okay with this,” Matt said. “You’re not even kinda okay with this.”
“But that’s one topic that isn’t up for discussion, okay? If this is what he wants, then we have to support him.”
“But what about what you want? You’ve said all along that this is where you want to be, and now you’re standing there on the verge of tears, trying to convince me that moving is something you want to do?”
“Matt, can you let it go? I need you on my side.”
“I’m on your side, Julie. The problem is that I feel like I’m the only one your side. You’re acting like this is what you want, and I know it’s not. What you want matters, too.”
“I know it does, but—”
“Your life’s not dictated by Luke’s future. You can still have your way. You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go, and you sure as hell don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Matt, he’s not forcing me to do anything,” I promised, and that really was the truth. “I made a commitment to him. I promised to support him in any decision he makes in life. If postponing the wedding makes him happy, then I—”
“So what, the wedding’s off,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “I don’t even care. What’s pissing me off right now is that you’re standing here telling me you’re going to support him in a decision that you don’t agree with, pack your bags, and move to a town you don’t want to live in. I won’t let you do that. Julie?” Matt asked, his voice growing anxious … maybe even agitated. “What about what you want?”
“If this is what he wants,” I said again, ignoring his pleas to do what I wanted. Obviously Matt didn’t understand. He didn’t know what it meant to compromise, give and take. “Please understand that I’m not asking for your blessing. If this is what he wants, it’s going to happen. I will support Luke to the very end. Now please, can we just go in there and get this over with?”
###
“Well, aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes?” Luke’s father rubbed his tired eyes beneath a pair of new reading glasses, and I smirked as I walked through the door of the floral shop at the heart of the Historic District. Lonnie Reibeck’s sweet face beamed on the other side of the counter where he sat adding up the day’s receipts.
With my cousin trailing behind me, I tried to plaster on the best smile I could, but I knew I’d have a hard time fooling anyone. Still reeling from the argument I’d had outside with Matt, I knew I couldn’t begin to express any kind of real happiness. How could I have been stupid enough to believe that he’d tag along as moral support, especially after the way he’d reacted when I told him why I needed the extra vote of confidence? He’d unraveled, and by this point, all I could hope is that he’d keep his mouth shut and his opinions to himself. What if Luke’s family agreed with him? What if they hounded me for answers, for explanations? What if they became just as angry as my cousin? I didn’t know what I would say or do to make light of the situation, but I knew I had to try.
Lonnie reached over and plucked a rose from an arrangement on the counter.
“A flower for my favorite daughter,” he said, passing it across the counter.
“Wait a minute. Did I hear favorite daughter?” Rebecca asked, sticking her head out of the curtain. Luke’s sister peered at their father and looked to me, and then her eyes shot back to him. “I resent that a little.”
“Right,” he smiled. “Forgot you were back there.” His goofy grin widened, and for the first time since I walked in, I managed a genuine smile. “How ‘bout this, Becky? You’re my favorite daughter. Julie’s my favorite daughter-in-law.”
“That’s better,” Rebecca said, winking at him before popping her head back behind the curtain.
Lonnie’s words tugged at my heart. Daughter-in-law.
A small sigh escaped through my lips, and I dropped my head. “Don’t go throwing that term around so loosely, Lonnie,” I said, leaning on the counter. “Luke and I aren’t married.”
“Yet.”
“That’s actually why I’m here. I need to talk to you about that big order we placed last week.”
“Have you changed your mind about the daisies?” he asked, standing tall again. He reached under the counter and pulled out an order sheet. “I’ll stand by what I told you, even if you think it’s overload. You need a thousand beautiful daisies, Julie.”
“Well—”
“No, no, it’s okay,” he said, waving a hand. “There’s still plenty of time for indecisiveness. We’ve had our share of brides come in to change their orders with only one day’s notice.”
“Oh, well, no. I promise I’m not here to do that,” I said, picking at my nails to avoid the buoyant stare he’d focused on me. I couldn’t look him in the eye, not after all of the hard work he and Grace had put into personalizing the plans for our arrangements. I mean, sure. It’s not like we were never going to use their ideas or take advantage of all their wonderful services, but just the fact that I couldn’t give them a definite idea of when was painful.
“Lonnie, the daises were perfect.”
“Then?”
I took a deep breath and went in for the kill. “I need to cancel our order.”
“What?”
“Already done,” Grace said, stepping into the storefront from the back room. She dropped a folder of order forms on the counter next to her husband before turning to him. “I just got off the phone with Lucas. I’ve kept everything on file; we’ll hold on to it until you’re both ready to move forward with the wedding.”
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