“Responsible? No, but I did think it was a good idea.”
Leah smiles and says, “It was a great idea. I’m so happy to have everyone here tonight. I’ve missed them terribly.”
“Bobby, this is a very nice party,” Molly says, looking around the crowded room. “You should go into party planning.” Molly pinches her tee shirt at the shoulders and lifts it slightly. “This was a great idea.”
At that time, Mom claps her hand and gather everyone near her. The girls play a few baby shower games and the guys have a beer or two. I sit at the bar behind Leah and watch her. She smiles and laughs and it makes me happy. Leah doesn’t show any signs of depression and I release my girl is a fighter. When she stands up from the couch, I rush over to her. “Going somewhere, Sweets?”
“I thought I would go to the restroom, if that’s all right with you?”
“Let me help you.” I offer her my elbow and she takes it.
“You do know, I can walk by myself, don’t you?”
“I do. I just wanna walk with you.”
Leah
Robert walks me back to the party and helps me to sit down. I sit upright but prop my feet up on the coffee table. I look up at him and smile. It’s my way of asking if this is all right without actually verbalizing it. He smiles, nods, and walks away. Although the room is full of people, I know that Robert is watching me.
Dove asks about the nursery, and Angel and Emma proudly give a grand tour of the baby’s room. I have to smile when I remember coming home and our friends had painted the walls, hung curtains, and set up the nursery with everything needed to care for a baby.
Robert sits with me when it’s time to open the gifts. I’m excited to see all of the receiving blankets, sleepers, and even an infant car seat and a swing.
After we all eat, Mom and Margie walk around with a platter of foil-covered cupcakes. Everyone takes one and I can hear squealing coming from Molly. Mom says, “This is the moment when we reveal the gender of Robert and Leah’s baby. Although it was supposed to be a surprise for everyone, the doctor kind of ruined that for them.”
“He didn’t ruin it for us, he enhanced it for us. We were able to refer to our baby as a he… or a she, this week, because of him,” I interrupt.
“Can we have all of the Team Blue members to the right of the room? And the Team Pink members to the left.”
Robert holds my hand as we watch everyone join their designated group. I laugh when I see how many couples picked differently. Molly and Dove walks around taking pictures as they have done throughout most of the party. I’m excited to see that professional pictures are being taken of the event.
Margie smiles, and says, “Now it’s your turn to know what they already know. Please, remove the cupcake wrapper and hold up your cupcake.”
I hear the rustling sounds of the foil wrappers being removed and the laughter, hoots, boos, and squeals coming from everyone in the room. “I knew it,” I hear Emma say. She and Angel are standing next to each other on the Team Pink side, laughing. Within seconds, everyone is holding up their pink cupcakes into the air. I see the flash from several cameras as Robert and I laugh.
Everyone helps with the cleanup before they leave. I remain seated, although I would rather be up helping and visiting. I get kisses and hugs from everyone before they leave. Robert stays with me on the couch as we say our goodbyes together. We thank them for coming and for the gifts and they congratulate us.
Drake Sinclair
I sit in my black Mercedes outside of the Grether residents. I had my attorney, Mr. Reed, find out everything he could about Bobby and Leah Grether, including their address. According to DNA results, they are Madison’s biological parents. I waited by the gate for a car to enter their passcode into the keypad, then I followed them into the gated community. I wanted to see where they lived and how they lived.
I sit patiently in my car as I watch people enter and exit their home. Looks like they’re having a party, a celebration. Must be nice. My world has been turned upside down and they are out celebrating. I snap a few pictures and wait.
The longer I sit here the angrier I become. I move my car and park it down the road, still within viewing distance of their home. I watch their house and make note of the window and door placements. I can’t see the rear or the other side of the house, so I walk around the neighborhood, keeping their home within my view.
Leah
When the last person leaves, I am exhausted. Robert locks up and I wait for him in bed. It felt good to be among friends today in celebration of our baby. The fears that this baby could be switched at birth haunt me. And not knowing what will happen with the Drakes, Madison, and us tears at my heartstrings. When I think back to the anger that Drake Sinclair showed during the meeting, I shiver. I still silently fight the black cloud, and Robert tries so hard to keep my mind on the good things that our life has to offer. For him and for this baby, I will try my best to fight the depression.
Robert walks through the bedroom door with a dimpled smile. “Quite a party, huh, Sweets?”
“It sure was. Good job on the shirts, too, Ace.”
He bows and it makes me laugh. “I’ve been thinking of going into graphic design after I beat Kennedy’s ass,” he jokes.
I ignore the statement about Kennedy and add as a joke, “And party planning.”
“And party planning.” He gets into bed and says seriously, “When I retire, I’m retired. I won’t be working odd jobs, I’ll be home with my wife and kids, or at the book store, eating Jo’s famous cinnamon buns.”
I cuddle into him and he wraps his arms securely around me, “I like that idea. You’ll still work out, right?”
“I’ll have to if I want to avoid the nickname ‘Doughboy’ my wife has threatened me with.”
“Good, because I think I’ll need a break from you, time to time.” He holds his hand over his heart like my words hurt him. I laugh and smack his stomach. “Good night, Ace.”
“Sweet dreams, Sweets.”
“Momma, don’t cry.”
“Jamie, don’t go. I don’t want you to go. Please stay with me.”
“Momma, don’t cry. I have to go. Grandma needs me.”
I try to move, but can’t. “I’m coming with you. Wait.”
“Daddy needs you and you need Daddy. You have to stay here with Daddy. The lights and the flowers are so pretty. Can you see them, Momma?”
I blink but all I see is blackness. No lights and no beautiful flowers. Just darkness. “I can’t, I’m sorry.”
“It’s time for me to go. Grandma is waiting. I love you so much, Momma.”
I can now see her face so clearly. I think it’s a memory, I’m not sure. I touch her small face with my trembling fingers. I never want to forget her, I never want to forget anything about her. Her beautiful face, her touch, her smell, and her sweet voice. She looks at me and she is so happy. “I love you, Jamie. I will always love you. Do you have Jack?” I ask. If my baby girl is leaving, I want to make sure she has her favorite toy.
“Daddy has Jack, I love you. I’ll be watching out for you, for you both,” she says as she gradually fades away into the air.
I wake up breathing hard and crying. My pillow is wet from the steady stream of tears. Robert is talking calmly to me. “It’s a dream, Leah. It’s all right, Sweets.” I rest my hands on my belly to calm the kicking. It reminds me of the present. I’m pregnant and there is no Jamie in the present. I dreamed or remembered the past, the accident. It was like a memory or a vision, but it was a dream. “It’s all right, Leah,” Robert says as he pulls me closer to him.
“I dreamed about Jamie.”
“I know, you were calling her name.”
“It was a dream, but it was like a memory… a memory of the accident.”
“Was Jamie telling you goodbye in your dream, vision, or your memory?”
I tilt my head to look at him. “Yes, was she talking about lights and flowers and she said she had to go because grand
ma was waiting for her.”
“I had the same memory,” he admits. “I think it was right before she went to heaven.”
I get cold chills and run my hands up and down my arms. “I think you’re right. I told her to wait for me and she said I had to stay here with you. She said that her grandma was waiting for her,” I cry.
Chapter Three: Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
Robert
I comfort Leah as she cries. She had the same memory I had of Jamie right after the accident. I still have nightmares/memories and I try to forget them as soon as I have/remember them. It haunts me to this day and now it will also spook Leah. Leah said that Jamie said her grandma was waiting for her. I forgot about that part. What grandma? Both of Jamie’s grandparents are still living and she doesn’t remember her great grandparents; they died before she was even born. Who was she talking about?
I hold Leah and rest my large hand over her belly. I know that when Leah gets upset, the baby also gets upset. It’s like the baby can feel Leah’s emotions. It amazes me that an infant can feel so much before birth. The kicking calms and Leah laughs softly. “She likes you.”
“She should; I’m her Dad.” I’m her Dad. God, I love the way that sounds.
“When I rest my hand on my belly, she calms slightly but continues to kick. You do the exact same thing and she calms almost immediately. I don’t get it.”
“My hands bigger and it covers more, maybe that’s why.”
“I love you, Robert.”
I look down at her and smile. “Thank you. I love you, too.”
The next morning, Leah decides to stay in bed; she doesn’t want to lie on the couch. Our mothers are coming over to help put the gifts away that we received last night. I know Leah is on bedrest, but I have to wonder if the reason she is staying in bed in the bedroom is because her depression is coming back. I also know the dream Leah had is hard for me to deal with, I know it will be hard for Leah to deal with, too.
I shower and make us breakfast. When I return, Leah is sleeping. I leave the tray of food in the bedroom for her for when she wakes up. While I run the vacuum, Mom and Sue arrive. They immediately put dinner in the oven and start helping me with dusting and mopping. When the cleanup is done, they wash all of the new baby clothes we got at the shower. I’m surprised they are washing everything and not just folding and putting everything in the drawers. I don’t ask. I check on Leah a few times and she appears to still be sleeping. Her tray of food is left untouched.
“I think we should put the swing together now, don’t you, Robert?” Sue asks. I stare blankly through the lanai door overlooking the swimming pool and hot tub. “Robert?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I was just suggesting that we put the baby swing together. Is everything all right?”
“It’s good,” I smile. “I think that’s a very good idea.” I stand up and open the large box containing the contents of the baby swing. Thankfully, the swing has only a few large pieces that need to be assembled. Mom goes into Jamie’s room and returns with one of her baby dolls. She carefully places it into the swing and we watch as the baby swings back and forth. I remember when Jamie was in her swing for the first time. She loved it. “I’m going to check on Leah,” I say as I stand from the floor.
Leah is walking into the room smiling. I smile and walk towards her. She isn’t dressed for the day, but I didn’t expect her to be either. “Well, there’s Sleeping Beauty,” Sue laughs.
“I didn’t know you guys were coming over together,” Leah says as I help her to the couch. She props her feet up and covers her body with a gray plush throw.
“We couldn’t leave you with all this stuff to do,” Mom says as she sits in the chair facing Leah.
“Is that a roast I smell?” Leah inhales and I can.
“It is. We were going to make dessert, but we still have cupcakes left over from the party. We also put the baby’s clothes in the washer and Robert put the swing together.”
“I watch as Leah's eyes move to the swing. It is still swinging with Jamie’s baby doll in it. “It looks great, and the baby likes it.”
Leah looks at me and asks, “No extra swing parts left, Ace?”
“No, not a one.”
“Mmm, good job.”
“Thank you.”
Our mothers stay a large part of the morning. Once all of the baby’s laundry is washed, folded, and put away, they leave. They give me strict instructions on how to finish up the pot roast once it’s done. Leah seems to be doing okay. She lies on the couch and reads a paperback book. Generally, I would be watching the sports channel or boxing, but not today, not when I know it’s upsetting to Leah. I don’t want to upset her or the baby.
I sit in the recliner with a book that Leah had me pick up from the shop the other day. I skim through the contents and I find it’s difficult to concentrate. I peek over the book at Leah and she is watching me. We both laugh. “Ace, are you worried about me?” she asks bluntly.
I lower the book and say, “Always.”
“Because of the dream I had last night?”
I think about what she said and I’ll always worry about her. I wonder if I should tell her I don’t think it was a dream. “I’ll always worry about you,” I say honestly.
“I appreciate that, but I’m all right. I’m stuck on the couch, but I’m all right.” She smiles and I know she does that for my benefit.
“You know,” I say, slowly. “I’ve had the same dream about Jamie.” She folds up her book and sets it down beside her. I mimic her actions and set my book down too. “I think mine was more of a memory.”
“Really?” she asks.
“Really. But in my dream, memory, or vision, whatever it is, Jamie asked me to watch over Jack for her.”
Leah looks like she remembers something. She says with a tear in her eye, “Jamie told me that you had Jack. I told her to wait, that I was coming with her and she told me that I had to stay here with you. She said that we needed each other.” I stand up and walk over and sit at the foot of the couch where Leah is. She lifts her feet until I sit down and then she lays her feet on my lap. I massage her feet and she says, “Jamie was passing from this life to the next and she was making sure everyone here was taken care of first.”
I never thought of it like that. “God, I love that little girl.” I remember my own memory and Jamie said her grandma was waiting for her. “Jamie told me that Grandma was waiting for her,” I finally say.
“She didn’t know her grandmothers who have passed. They had died before she was born,” Leah admits.
“That does remain a mystery.”
Leah
I think about Jamie saying that she needed to go and be with Grandma. I’m not sure what she meant or who she was talking about. Robert worries about me and I know he worries about my depression. I feel good and I need for him to know that. I think I feel better knowing that Jamie isn’t alone. I also find comfort in knowing that Jamie said she’ll be watching over us. I have never had a dream or a vision like this before. The baby kicks and I’m glad it’s more of a playful calm kick. My water broke so there isn’t a lot to cushion the baby’s movements. Whenever I’m upset, the kicks are more aggressive, almost angry. These almost feel featherlike, compared to the other ones.
“Is she kicking?” Robert asks.
“She is,” I say not even realizing my hand is resting on my belly.
He stands up and sits on the edge of the couch. “Is she upset?”
“No, I don’t think so. These feel different,” I admit.
Robert gently rests his hand on my abdomen and spreads his fingers out. When the baby kicks he smiles. “These are soft, calmer.”
I say, “She’s happy.”
“We need a name for her,” he says, looking up at me.
“We do. Do you have any ideas? Something to go with Jamie, perhaps?” I ask.
“And Madison,” he adds.
I laugh and say, “Jamison, would
be perfect if it were a boy.”
“Jamison Robert Grether, I like it but, it won’t work for a girl.”
“No, it sure won’t. The names don’t really go together to make a lovely combined girl’s first name. We don’t know Madison’s middle name, do we?”
Robert thinks for a moment and says, “I haven’t seen it posted anywhere.”
“Well, when we find out what it is, maybe we can match the names up to come up with something beautiful.”
“Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, I’ll call her princess.”
“Robert, you can’t call her princess, you call Jamie princess.”
“Mmm, you’re right. She needs her own name. In the meantime, I’ll call her, ‘her’ or ‘she.’”
We both laugh again and the baby kicks softly.
The next two weeks go by uneventfully. Robert gets into a routine of working out at home and at the gym. He arranges for someone to sit with me while he’s gone. Dove brings me my deposits, paperwork, and store receipts every Saturday. Gus comes with her and they usually bring dinner and stay for a visit. She also brings some sweets and cinnamon buns from Jo. We haven’t heard anything from Bruce, our attorney, or from the hospital about setting up another meeting. If we have heard something, Robert is keeping it to himself. I anticipate that we’ll hear something very soon. Madison is our daughter, and I would like to get to know her.
Mom and Margie come over several times a week and they bring pre-cooked meals for us. Fortunately for me and Robert, they are both excellent cooks.
Bruce Myles
“Bobby, please come in.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you called.”
“How’s Leah and the baby?”
“They’re both good. Two more weeks pregnant since the last time we talked.”
“That’s excellent news.”
“Have a seat. I wanted to update you on Madison.”
“I hope nothing’s wrong,” Bobby says and I can hear the concern in his tone.
“Oh, no, she’s okay. It’s about Drake. He’s refusing to talk to me so I have to go through his attorney for everything. Then his lawyer has to speak to Drake, so this whole thing is taking longer than we both would like.”
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