by K. M. Scott
His voice was laced with sensuality, and every word made my body come alive. "What did you say?"
Looking up from my neck, he stared at me in the mirror with eyes full of desire. "I'd rather show you."
I didn't answer as he led me to the overstuffed ottoman and dipped his head to place a full kiss on my lips. Releasing my hand, he gently pressed on my shoulders to lower me to the seat, smiling seductively at me as I looked up at him.
"Lay back, Nina."
I did as he commanded, my legs shaking nervously as he slid his palms over my thighs. Right there, in the dressing room at Le Ciel, Tristan was about to go down on me with the saleswomen not more than a few yards away at most. My body was a mixture of pure fear and uncontrollable excitement.
"Tristan, what if the ladies..."
He cut me off with a quick nip on my inner thigh as he pulled off my panties. "Shhh. Don't worry about them."
That was easier said than done. The fear that Regina or Felicia might barge in with some great outfit for me to try on and see Tristan's head between my legs made my stomach knot. I was no prude, but sex in public wasn't something I'd ever done.
At least I didn't think I'd ever done it.
"Nina, relax and enjoy this. I've wanted to taste you since you walked in here this morning. Did you know that?" As he spoke, his warm breath trailed against my skin, making me want him more.
Before I could even get a word out, he slid his tongue up to my clit and did this flicking thing that nearly sent me straight to the moon. My back arched and a moan that came from deep inside me escaped from my throat, but I didn't care at that moment. Whatever fear I'd had about anyone knowing what Tristan and I were up to evaporated into thin air with the first touch of his tongue to my pussy.
His hands caressed my abdomen as his mouth and tongue danced over my tender skin. Every inch of my sex was treated to the most incredible sensations from that expert tongue of his. I'd imagined that mouth that had delighted me with the most delicious kisses would be just as wonderful between my legs, but this was so much more than I could have dreamed of.
Running my hands through his short hair, I pulled him into me. Taking my swollen clit in his mouth, he sucked gently, making me ache for more when he pulled away. Suddenly, I felt cold and alone. Opening my eyes, I lifted my head to see him kneeling there staring at me.
"Wh...why did you stop?"
"Tell me you want me to continue, Nina."
"Of course, I do," I whispered. "Don't tease me, Tristan."
He winced ever so slightly and then that seductive look was back. As he leaned in to go down on me again, he looked up at me with eyes full of emotion and whispered, "I'd never tease you, Nina. Let me give you what you need."
And then he did just that.
As his tongue sent my body into overdrive, he slid one and then two fingers inside me, touching a spot that made me cover my mouth so the rest of Le Ciel didn't hear my cries of delight. Over and over, he stroked in and out of my body with expert fingers as every inch of me craved more of his touch.
The first ripple of my orgasm began deep inside and slowly weaved through me until one last playful flick of his tongue made me come apart. I cried out without any care for who heard me, moaning, "Don't stop," as I clawed at his head to make the feeling continue.
He rode my pussy with his mouth and tongue until there wasn't a tremor left in my body. I was boneless when he moved away, the picture of satisfaction staring down at me. Taking my hands in his, he pulled me up to kiss him, and I tasted myself on his lips and tongue.
"I've wanted to do that for a while," he whispered in a deep voice as he stroked my cheek.
"I can't believe I just had sex in a Midtown boutique dressing room. This is like the on-the-ground version of the Mile High Club," I said with a giggle.
"That reminds me. We're taking a trip after New Year's."
I lowered my head, shaking no. "I could never have sex on an airplane, Tristan. Where do those people do that, anyway? Aren't the bathrooms too tiny?"
"I don't know. I've never been on a public airplane. We'll be traveling on my private jet, so perhaps that will make your initiation into the Mile High Club easier."
I looked up, shocked. He had a private jet? I should have guessed that, but it still sounded incredible that I knew someone with a private jet. That I was dating someone with a private jet.
"Wow. Is there anything you don't have?"
Those deep brown eyes focused on mine. "Just one thing, but I'm working on that."
The idea that all he lacked in his life was my love made me feel like I was the most important person in his world. With every moment that passed, I knew why I'd fallen in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with Tristan Stone.
I just had to let myself go this time too.
Chapter Eight
Nina
"Oh my God! What are you doing here?"
Jordan opened her arms and pulled me into the apartment with a huge bear hug, crushing my face against her shoulder. As she closed the door behind us, she released me just long enough to decide she needed another hug.
"Come here! I've missed you so much."
"I did too. When Tristan and I went to the penthouse last night, I knew I wanted to stop over and see how you're doing."
She released me again and led the way to the living room. We sat down in our usual seats and as she folded her legs under her, she stared at me. "You look incredible, Nina. I know it's just been a few days since we saw each other, but it feels like months."
"It does. I thought it was just because I don't remember anything of the past four years."
She let out a big sigh. "Anything good happening on that front?"
Shaking my head, I tried to hide my disappointment with a smile. "Not yet, but Tristan keeps reminding me that the doctors said it might take a little while."
"How is that yummy man?"
I felt my face warm and grinned. "He's fine."
"Oh, he's definitely fine," she teased with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
Changing the subject, I asked, "So what's new with you? I came here to find out about your life."
"My life is nowhere as exciting as yours. Between that gorgeous man, your gorgeous house, and all the wonderful things that come with both of those things, I wish I had your life."
She wasn't wrong. My life was perfect. Wonderful. Tristan was everything I'd ever wanted in a man. The house was beyond stunning. A driver took me wherever I wanted to go. And my boyfriend loved to spend money on me.
The only problem was that I'd lost four years of my life and no matter what I did, I missed them. I wanted to live in the present, but that void from my past haunted me every moment of the day.
"I know. It's great," I said as I looked away.
Jordan leaned forward and pressed her hand to my knee. "Oh, honey. I didn't mean to say everything was perfect. I was just trying to be positive."
Her frown told me she hadn't tried to be callous. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I should be happy with everything I have."
"Bullshit. You're allowed to be unhappy about not remembering one-sixth of your damn life. Just know that whatever you want to ask about the last four years, I'm here as your own personal encyclopedia." Tapping her finger to her forehead, she added, "I've got everything stored right up here."
Biting my lip, I considered what part of my past I wanted to know about the most. There was really no question. My father's death.
"Jordan, what happened to my father?" I asked in a quiet voice, as if no one else knew about his passing.
She inhaled deeply and blew the air out of her lungs in a hard wooosh. "Oh, honey. I was afraid you were going to ask that. It was tough on you. I can tell you that."
"What happened? He was so young."
She shook her head and frowned. "You and Kim never found out what really happened. All I know is this. He was in Newark investigating some story and was found dead in a parking garage."
"Shot?"
Nodding, she answered quietly, "Yeah. The police said he was murdered execution style."
Tears welled in my eyes. "Oh my God! Why would someone do that to him? He was a writer who investigated things like small town politics. Who kills someone over nepotism on the town council?"
I couldn't hold back the tears as I had since my sister had told me about my father's death. They poured down over my cheeks as I buried my face in my hands, and my body heaved with each sob. My father was murdered and I'd forgotten the whole thing!
Jordan sat down beside me and took me in her arms. "Let it out, sweetie. You have to let it out or you'll get like you did then."
Another thing I couldn't remember.
I buried my face in her shoulder and did exactly that. I let all the sadness out until I couldn't cry anymore. Until I felt hollow and empty.
Pulling away from Jordan, I asked, "What do you mean I'll get like I did then? What happened to me then?"
She smoothed the hair from my forehead and wiped her thumb under my eyes. "It was pretty bad. You didn't get out of bed for weeks. Thank God your professors were understanding since it was your senior year because day after day, no matter how I tried, you wouldn't do anything but lay in bed. Sometimes you cried. Other times you just stared up at the ceiling or off in the distance."
"For how long?"
"Honey, it went on for a long time. Even after you came back to life, I was worried you might never be the same old Nina again."
"I wish I knew who that same old Nina was now," I admitted sadly. "I feel like I'm missing so much of me."
"You're still you, Nina. It's all in there. It's just a matter of it coming out."
I sat back against the couch cushions and hung my head. Just thinking about my father's death was exhausting. It was like he'd just died that day and not years before. My heart hurt at Jordan's description of his murder.
Looking up, I asked, "Am I really the same? Of anybody, you'd know. Am I? What was I like when I got into that accident?"
"Blissfully happy. I'd never seen you as happy as when you were with Tristan. I mean, I don't want to say it was perfect. Nothing is. But you were as happy as anyone could want to be."
"Is he as incredible as I think he is?"
"Yeah. He is. When you moved in with him, he paid the rest of your portion of the rent for the year. When that weird guy attacked us on the front steps, he let me stay at his hotel in a gorgeous suite for weeks because you asked him to. You were worried for my safety, and he didn't blink an eye. You wanted something and he made it happen."
"Why don't I remember any of that? Why can't I remember how much in love with him I was? Don't you think I'd remember that? I mean, I can understand not wanting to remember my father's death, but Tristan is wonderful. And the rest of those four years couldn't have been all bad. Were they?"
"No. They weren't all bad. We had some really fun times once you got back to being yourself. Two single girls living in New York. Good times."
Her smile faded as the words trailed off. She was hiding something. It hadn't been all good times.
"What aren't you telling me, Jordan?"
"It's not important. Your life was as good as anyone who's just out of college and trying to make it on their own."
"But?"
"But nothing. You were happy."
Everything in her face said otherwise, though. What had been so bad about my life?
"Tell me, Jordan. I need to know."
She got up from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. "Jordan, tell me!" I called after her.
She stopped dead in the living room doorway and with her back to me asked, "Cal. Do you remember him?"
"Of course. I was crazy about him."
Turning around, she looked at me with pain in her eyes. "Do you remember what happened between the two of you?"
I thought about what I knew about Cal. "We broke it off because he had the chance to study abroad in Spain for a year. He was a junior and it was the chance of a lifetime, so we broke up. But it wasn't anything awful."
"That wasn't the end of it. He came back and you two began seeing each other again, but he wasn't the same guy. Whatever he did in Europe, he came back a real asshole."
"What are you saying?"
She walked away into the kitchen, and I followed her, needing to know what the hell she was talking about. Standing with her back to me, she shook her head. "It was bad, Nina. He was a real shit. You were crazy about him, madly in love, and he..."
She stopped and said nothing for a long time.
"He what?" I finally demanded.
She spun around and I couldn't tell if she was angry or upset. "He fucked you up really bad, Nina. You didn't just break up another time. He broke your heart. You told him you loved him and what did he do? He cheated on you that very fucking night!"
My memory of Cal wasn't of a love meant for the ages, but I had no idea what she was talking about. I'd been disappointed when we broke up so he could go to Spain, but I understood why. The person she was describing wasn't the person I'd cared about, though.
"I can't believe that. Cal and I had been fun together. I never thought it was going to be a forever thing, but we had fun. We cared about each other."
"Well, it wasn't like that when you got back together. He was a real dick. He left you in pieces, Nina. Pieces. It was like it was when your father died all over again. Even worse, if you ask Kim."
"Why? What happened?"
Jordan's body sagged under the weight of what she was saying. "You said some things about wanting to die. I don't think you ever really meant it, but it was a lot to deal with. I was afraid for a long time that you might do something."
"Tell me everything. I need to know."
"Honey, it's in the past, and in my opinion, that bullshit can stay there. Don't do this."
I knew she was trying to protect me, but I needed to fill in the huge blank spots in my memory. I needed to begin to figure out why my mind was keeping me in the dark about so much time.
"Jordan, I need to know what my mind's keeping from me. What happened to make me say I wanted to die?"
"You told him you loved him. For the first time, you actually weren't afraid to take that leap. You remember what you were like when we first started school, right? You were always beautiful and sweet, but you never had the guts to go out on a limb and tell someone you loved them. It was probably because of how you lost your mother. And Cal knew that. He knew how much it meant that you were finally able to open up and say you loved him. And what did he do with that gift? He ripped it to shreds."
I did remember being afraid to tell boyfriends how I felt about them. While every other girl in high school had been dying to tell their boyfriends they loved them, I dreaded it. It terrified me. They might leave and then where would I be? I'd never told Cal I loved him.
At least I didn't remember telling him. Now Jordan was saying that the only time she knew of me saying I love you to anyone other than Tristan had ended in disaster. My stomach felt like it was twisting into knots.
She wrapped her arms around me. "Honey, don't get down about it. Cal was an asshole. He didn't deserve you. He deserved the girl who used him and threw him away three months later."
I pushed her away and shook my head. "I need to know what happened. What did he do?"
"Don't do this. It's not going to make anything better."
"Jordan, this is part of my life I don't remember. I have to know."
Sighing heavily, she nodded. "He'd been cheating on you the whole time. We went out for a drink because you were so happy that you'd finally told him how you felt and we saw him with some cheap blonde. It was terrible. You confronted him all in tears, and she was more than happy to tell you how long they'd been seeing each other. He tried to deny it, but it was no use. The proof was standing there in front of you basically throwing it in your face."
God, had I never had any luck with men? Cal had been the one ma
n I'd remembered in all this as a decent person, and now that was all wrong too.
Jordan smoothed my hair away from my face. Her expression was so sad. "You never meant that you wanted to die, honey. That was just something you said because you were feeling down. I know how it feels. It hurts like hell when you care about someone and they betray you. We've all been through it, and sometimes when we're feeling our worst, we say things we don't mean."
"I don't want to die, Jordan. Even when I've felt like I was totally lost these past few weeks, I never wanted to end it."
"I think Tristan's a big part of that, Nina. He's a good man. And I swear to you on a stack of Bibles that he's crazy about you."
"I know. There's no need to sell him to me. I can see it."
She looked away from me and said quietly, "I'm worried you won't give him a chance now."
"Why?"
Turning to face me, she knitted her brows in concern. "Because of what I told you. I don't want you to think you're just unlucky with men."
It was as if Jordan was reading my mind. The only happy memory I'd had concerning the opposite sex, other than Tristan, was Cal. Now that he had turned out to be just like every other male I'd ever been with that I could remember, all I could think of was that I was jinxed in the realm of love.
"Me unlucky? Look at my life. No worries about luck there," I said with as much bravado I could muster, not even convincing myself. I forced a smile as I looked at my cell phone for the time. "I guess it's time to go."
"Okay, honey. Okay."
I knew Jordan didn't believe me, but like the best friend she was, she didn't say a thing. She knew talking about it wasn't going to help now. "Tristan and I would like you and Justin to join us for New Year's. We'll be at the penthouse and it would mean so much to me if we could all hang out."
The darkness that had covered her features lifted and her genuine smile lit up the room. "That would be great! If his penthouse is anything like that suite he put me up in, it'll be incredible."
I couldn't help but grin. Tristan's penthouse was stunning, and I couldn't wait to show it off to Jordan. Just the view was going to blow her away.
"He'll have his cooks make some late night dinner for us and we'll watch the new year come in high above the city. How does ten o'clock sound?"