by K. M. Scott
"I found out that night when I got into the accident. When were you going to tell me this time?"
I didn't know how to answer that. I'd never gotten that far. I'd been so concerned that Karl would hurt her that telling her the truth had been pushed aside.
"When, Tristan? When?" she screamed.
"I don't know."
"Look at me! At least face me now."
I turned around and looked up at her. "I'm sorry. I thought if I just had enough time I could solve this whole thing and you'd never have to know what my father did. I swear I didn't know about anything he did until right before I met you."
"You aren't to blame for what happened to my father, Tristan. Your crime was lying to me. We built a life together based on a lie. You asked me to marry you. Our entire life is a lie."
Standing, I grabbed her hands, needing to feel her touch on my skin, some small connection I could believe still meant something. "Don't say that. I know I lied and I know I hurt you, but we love each other. No matter what else happened, we fell in love."
"How could you do this? I wanted to believe we'd be together forever," she said in a sad voice as she looked down at our joined hands.
"I'm sorry, Nina. No matter what else, I need you to believe that I love you."
She yanked her hands from mine and glared up at me. Shaking her head wildly, she sobbed, "I can't listen to this. I can't. I trusted you."
Dropping to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her legs and held her tight. I needed to keep her there. I couldn't let her go. "Come away with me. We can go anywhere. Venice again. Wherever you want. As long as we're together."
Nina stared down into my eyes and I knew. I'd lost her. No amount of begging was going to work.
"I can't do this, Tristan. I can't," she said sadly and then pulled away from me, never looking back.
I watched her run out, knowing that I had to go after her. My feet took the steps downstairs by two, and I caught up with her just as she was reaching the street. Jensen stood next to the car looking over at me for what to do.
"Take me home!" she ordered as she opened the car door, but he stood still as a statue waiting for my orders.
"I want to go home! Take me home, Jensen!" she cried, but still he wouldn't move, his eyes focused on me to know what to do.
Silently, I nodded to let him know he could leave, and he sped away toward the house as I watched everything I loved leave me. I'd told myself over and over that I was willing to lose her if it meant she was safe, but now I couldn't do it. I couldn't let her go. I needed to know she believed I loved her.
I heard her cry as I stood in the hallway outside her bedroom door, knowing I was the only person who couldn't make her feel better. For an hour, I listened to her heartbreaking sobs as my hope that she'd understand why I'd done what I'd done faded away.
Sliding down the wall, I finally leaned against her door and whispered, "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
I'd lost her. The one soul on Earth that I truly loved and I'd lost her because of who I was. That was the truth at the heart of it all. I was a Stone and because of that—because of what I was deep down—I'd lost Nina's love.
I was no different than my father or Taylor.
Closing my eyes, I pressed my cheek to her door and whispered one last time, "I love you, Nina. I hope someday you can forgive me."
I waited for what seemed like hours for her to say anything, but all I heard was silence.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nina
My throat hurt because I cried so much, but the tears kept coming. I didn't know which hurt more—knowing what really happened to my father and that Tristan's father had been the one to take him away from me or that everything I loved had been based on a lie. I wanted to run away, like I did before, but I couldn't. Tristan had lied to me from the moment he met me, but I loved him. And he loved me. I just didn't know how we'd go on from here.
I'd heard him outside my door telling me he loved me. His voice was so sad that I couldn't face him. I pressed my ear to the door and heard him whisper that he hoped I'd forgive him.
I knew I shouldn't want to forgive him. He'd lied over and over for months. That should have been enough for me to never want to speak to him again.
If only it was that easy.
Exhausted from crying and thinking for hours, I finally fell asleep just as the first rays of the sun began to stream through my window. Not that I slept well. My body may have wanted to rest, but my mind raced the entire time so that when I opened my eyes at ten I was up and ready to face Tristan and our life together.
I couldn't just let this go. That had been the one thought preoccupying my mind. No matter how many times I told myself I couldn't forgive, it's the only thing I wanted to do. I knew what everyone would say. Kim would tell me I was stupid or being a fool. Once a liar, always a liar. Even Jordan would likely tell me to walk away.
My mind knew that was the smartest thing to do. My heart had an entirely different agenda, though.
For better or worse, my heart had won the tug-of-war, and I got out of bed prepared to tell Tristan how I felt. I could forgive him, but this would be his only chance. The man who'd been there for me when I was broken and hurt deserved at least that.
I spied an envelope sitting on the floor near the door, which was so typical of him. I hurriedly walked over to get it, noticing as I picked it up that it was far thicker than his usual notes. A tiny spike of fear ran through my mind at the possibility of what I'd soon find in those pages. Unfolding them, I began to read his words. As they flowed in front of my eyes, my stomach dropped and an emptiness filled me.
Dear Nina,
I can't say I'm sorry anymore and convince you how much I never meant to hurt you. I was a fool to believe that we could be happy. How could we be when I'm who I am?
You made my days happier than you'll ever know. Before I met you, I had never loved anyone. My life was empty. That was my fate, and I accepted it. I was a Stone, and it was better for me to be alone than to hurt people like my father had.
Then I met you and all that changed. I didn't want to accept my loneliness anymore. I wanted to believe I could make someone happy. I tried, but what I had to give wasn't enough. Money, trips, clothes—none of it made you love me. I didn't know anything else, and for that I'm sorry.
But somehow you made me understand none of that mattered and if I gave my heart I had a chance to have someone like you love me. I gave you my heart, and you gave me love. I know it wasn't easy to be with me. I'm all closed off and I need to have control more than other men. I don't know why I'm so fucked up, but you freely gave me your heart, and your love was the best thing of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth in the beginning. I'm sorry that when I had the chance to make things right when you came home from the hospital that I didn't. I know you may not believe it, but I never wanted to hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted to do.
I will always love you. I can't fix the mistakes I've made. I can only say I'm sorry and hope you'll forgive me someday. You can't accept my love after what I've done, but I hope you'll accept what I promised. Enclosed you'll find a legal document that will ensure you'll want for nothing. This house will be transferred to you, and I've made sure that each month money will be deposited in your account to ensure you have everything you can possibly desire.
I'm sorry that all I am is money and things. For a short time, I was more because of you.
I love you, Nina. Someday, I hope you'll believe me.
Yours always,
Tristan
Tears clouded my eyes so I couldn't read the words anymore, but I'd seen enough. I didn't need to read some legal document to know Tristan was gone. Instantly, I felt alone. I couldn't let him give up on us like this.
I tore down my hallway screaming his name, but I instinctively felt the emptiness of the house now that he'd left. I ran from room to room but found nothing.
&
nbsp; "Tristan! No! Tristan!"
All there was in return was silence.
His room looked like it always had, like he hadn't even been there that night. Something in me said to check Rogers' room, and I raced there, stopping dead in the doorway at the sight of the bed. Neatly made the last time I'd been there, now the bedspread and blankets lay crumpled as if someone had spent a restless night there.
I checked the garage to see if Tristan's Jag was still there, but I knew better. He was gone. Jensen stood in the corner ready to take me wherever I desired.
"Where is he?"
"Miss?"
"Where is Tristan, Jensen? Where did he go?"
"He drove on his own, miss."
"Do you know where?"
Jensen stood silent as he stared at me. Tristan had likely told him not to tell me where he'd gone. I didn't care. I needed to find him and let him know I forgave him, even if I didn't understand everything that had happened. I needed to tell him I still loved him.
"I have to find him. Tell me where he went!" I yelled across the garage, shocking the driver.
"He's gone, Nina," a voice behind me said quietly, and I turned around to see a strange man standing there.
"Who are you? Where is Tristan? Tell me! I need to know."
"Come with me. We can talk inside."
I followed the large man with too much red hair and beard to a sitting room. As I took a seat on the couch, I remembered being in that room with Tristan. We'd first kissed right there after he'd taught me how to tie a Windsor knot. I remembered everything. Our first night together. How crazy I was in love with him just days later. Everything was back now.
"My name is Daryl Knight. I work for Tristan. I guess ordinarily Rogers would have had the job of telling you this, but it's fallen on me now."
"I hope you don't hate me like Rogers did because I need you to tell me where Tristan is. I have to see him."
"That can't happen, Nina. All I know is that he's gone. Karl and his friends on the Board want him dead now that your sister gave them her copies of your father's notes. Because Tristan wouldn't give them the original notes, they can't let him stay alive."
"I don't understand. What's so important about my father's notes? Tristan knows what happened with his father and brother. He knows what they did and why my father was murdered. Why doesn't he just give them to Karl and be done with this whole horrible thing?"
"I don't know why. All I know is that he's not done with those notes yet."
"Well, I don't care about that. I just need to see him. Where is he, Daryl?"
He frowned and shook his head. "I don't know. All I know is what he told me when he called. He wanted me to make sure you read the papers he left you."
I angrily waved the envelope Tristan had left me in front of him. "I don't care about the papers. I want Tristan, not things. Please tell me where he is."
"I can't."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two huge men who seemed to be hovering just outside the door to the sitting room. Pointing at them, I asked, "Then can they tell me?"
Daryl turned to look at the them and shook his head. "No. They're not here for that."
"Then what the hell are they here for? Who are they?"
He waved them into the room and they took their place in front of us like two giants eying their next victims. The one who stood on the left had very short, cropped dark hair with some streaks of grey, and his face said he was all business. He was enormous, like a bouncer at a club, and he looked as if he could pick me up with two fingers. The man on the right wore his lighter brown hair slightly longer and had no grey in his, but his eyes were the darkest blue I'd ever seen.
"Nina, these men protect you. They've protected you since your accident. When you leave this house, they're always nearby making sure you're safe."
"Do you mean every time I went out they were there?" I asked in astonishment.
I looked at the men as they nodded silently. My bodyguards looked down at me as I worked to process all of this. Two men had been watching me and obviously Tristan had hired them.
"Yes, and they'll be there every time you go out from now on."
"What if I don't want them to be?" I asked, feeling slightly irritated by Daryl's officious tone. It was one thing for Tristan to be all Alpha with me. I loved him. Daryl was just some scruffy guy sitting in what was now my house and bossing me around.
"I'm sorry, but you don't have a choice. They have their job, just as I have mine. Your safety is paramount to Tristan, so you'll just have to get used to having them around."
"I don't understand, Daryl. I thought that Karl and his thugs didn't care about me anymore because my sister gave them what they wanted. Why would I be in danger?"
"If Karl doesn't get what he wants from Tristan, he's not above hurting you. These men will make sure that doesn't happen."
"What? For the rest of my life?"
"I don't know the answer to that. For now, they'll be next to you at all times."
I looked up again at the men. "Since you're going to be my shadows, I should at least know your names."
Mr. All Business nodded. "Nathan West."
The corners of Blue Eye's mouth hitched up slightly, giving him a sort of scary-sexy look. "Gage Varo."
Both men had hollow, deep voices, adding to my anxiety about all of this. Turning to face Daryl, I asked, "How do they know when I'm leaving the house? Does Jensen call them?"
"They stay in the carriage house. When Jensen leaves, they leave."
I sat stunned at what Daryl was saying. These men lived on the same property as I did and I'd never even seen them. And they'd been following me for weeks. How is it I'd missed these two gigantic men near me at all times?
"Why haven't I noticed them all this time?"
The one named Varo answered, "Because you weren't looking for us. Our job is to be invisible. You would have never known we were there if you hadn't been told."
"What if I don't want to live here with bodyguards and a driver?"
Daryl seemed to think about my question and answered, "I think that would make Tristan unhappy. He wants to ensure you're safe, Nina."
"I want to talk to him. I'm tired of all this. Where is he?"
Instead of giving me the answer I so desperately wanted, Daryl simply stood to leave. "I can't help you with that. What I can say is that Tristan has taken care of everything to make sure you're safe."
Jumping up, I screamed, "Why do you keep saying that? I don't care about being safe. All I want is to see Tristan!"
"I'm sorry, Nina. I wish I could say more."
"Then there is more to say. Where is he? Why can't I at least see him?"
My bodyguards walked out, leaving me alone with Daryl. He smiled for the first time and said, "Nina, I can't say more because Tristan hasn't told me more. I don't know where he is. All I know is that in the middle of the night he called me and told me he needed my help to make sure what he wanted to happen happened. That's it."
"Did he sound..." I didn't know how to say it. "Did he sound like he was okay? There was coke and..."
Daryl smiled again. "He sounded tired."
"Would you tell me if you knew anything else, like say, if he said anything about me other than that he wanted to know that I'm safe? Give me something."
"I work for Tristan, but I know how much you mean to him, so yes, I would. He said very little, Nina. All I know is that his first concern was for your safety."
I hung my head in sadness. "Thank you, Daryl. Did he say anything else at about anything I should do?"
"One last thing. Don't try to contact your sister. She and her family are safe from Karl and his friends, but to make sure they stay that way, you can't speak to her for a while."
"Did Tristan do that?"
Daryl nodded. "Yeah. They weren't safe, even after she gave Karl your father's notes."
"When is all this going to end, Daryl?"
Shaking his head, he shrugged. "I don't know
, but trust that Tristan won't let Karl and his buddies get what they want."
I wish I knew what that awful man wanted. So much of this was still a mystery to me, and with Tristan gone, I didn't have anyone to help me understand all of it.
Daryl handed me a slip of paper. "This is my number. Call me if you need anything. West and Varo will take care of your safety, and Jensen is here for you like he's always been."
Nodding, I pressed a fake smile on my face. "Thank you, Daryl."
It seemed like I had men everywhere to take care of me except for the one I truly wanted standing next to me. The memory of those pictures of Tristan came back to me as I sat alone, and I found myself in the attic next to the trunk that held those images from so long ago.
I sat down on the wood floor and lifted the lid. Inside were letters and pictures from years before. I recognized the large portrait that sat on the bottom of the trunk. Pulling it out, I propped it against the inside of the lid and studied it in the faint sunlight streaming into the attic. Instantly, my eyes were drawn to the left side of the picture where Tristan's father and brother sat. Hatred coursed through my veins as I stared at their faces. Even though Taylor was just a small child, I hated him. It was almost as if he wasn't Tristan's identical twin. Nothing about him reminded me of the man I loved. All I saw was the man who was to blame for that poor girl's death.
Victor Stone sat behind Taylor smiling and happy. I hated him even more. My hands began to shake as they clutched the sides of the picture containing the two people responsible for my father's death. Not just death. Murder. They'd murdered my father to save themselves. I wanted to scream—to find them and hit them until they felt like I did when I first heard my father was gone.
But I couldn't. Fate had punished them before anyone else could. They were gone, taken from this Earth, and I'd have to learn to live with how much I hated them.
I couldn't look at them anymore. My eyes filled with tears at the hatred inside me. This wasn't who I was, though. I didn't want to hate. I forced my gaze to the right side of the portrait where Tristan sat in front of his mother. Her face was placid, but something in her eyes made her look sad. She was beautiful, her eyes so much like Tristan's now as I stared at them. They seemed to speak from the silence of the image. Had she known what her husband was like? Did she ever find out what Taylor had done, or had she remained blissfully ignorant like many women in her position?