The prospect of this new work had me feeling pretty peppy, and I headed to the kitchen to make me some eggs and bacon. Crazy how getting a new project started can get you up and going again.
I had to move on from that night. As spectacular as it had been, it was over. I had to get that through my head; I’d never have another night like that one. Not ever.
Chapter 9
Nixon
The month after Halloween both dragged on and flew by somehow. It was the day before Thanksgiving and Shanna and I were on my private jet, heading back to Texas to spend the holiday with our families.
Like every day before that one, my mind was on Katana, wondering what she’d be doing for Thanksgiving. Shana sat across the narrow aisle from me, filing her nails as we sped through the sky. “Why do you seem so zoned out, Nixon?”
I’d been laying my head on the headrest, eyes closed, picturing Katana in that hotel room. I turned my head to look at her. “I’m just wondering what Katana is doing tomorrow. And wishing like hell I’d gotten her number or at least her address so I could send her flowers or something.”
One blonde brow arched as she looked at me with an incredulous expression. “Why? Why would you still be thinking about that little brainless twit?”
I sat up, taking offense at what she’d said. “Hey, no reason to call her names, Shanna. And need I remind you that you don’t even know her? What grounds do you have for calling her anything at all?”
“I know all I need to know about the girl. She’s into some sick shit and can’t have a brain in her head if she’s into that stuff. Now, I can see a man being into that lifestyle. Of course, who wouldn’t get off at least a little bit, ruling over someone? But being the one who’s ruled over—well, that only means one thing in my book: no brains.” She put the nail file down and picked up a magazine, thumbing through the pages. “Put her out of your head, Nixon.”
Closing my eyes again, I tried not to think about Katana—but did anyway. Shanna was wrong about her. She wasn’t brainless. Sure, I didn’t know her that well—or at all really—but I knew she wasn’t dumb.
“You know who I bet will be in town, too, Nixon?” Shanna asked with a lilt to her voice.
“Nope,” I said without even opening my eyes.
“Bianca.”
My cock twitched. Bianca had been a couple of years older than me and often taunted me when we were kids. By the time we were in high school though, I’d caught her giving me sideways glances, admiring how I’d grown up.
I’d always had a crush on her—she was the hottest girl in school. Long legs, tanned skin, dark hair that hung to her waist. And then it hit me—Katana and Bianca had a lot of similarities. Maybe that was why I had felt so instantly attracted to Katana.
I sat up and looked at Shanna. “You really think she might be visiting her parents?” I had to admit I was a little excited about seeing her.
“Why wouldn’t she be there?” Shanna asked. “Everyone comes home for the holidays.”
I nodded and lay my head back again. I tried to picture Bianca. It’d been two years since I’d seen her last. That was at Christmas. She’d been with some guy then, but gave me a sexy little smile that told me she would’ve given me a bit of her time if she’d been alone. It was a smile she’d never given me before.
But as hard as I tried to bring Bianca’s face into my mind, I couldn’t. The only face I saw was Katana’s, and it was beautiful. So beautiful it made my heart ache.
I should’ve gotten her damn number!
When the jet stopped at the San Antonio International Airport, we hopped into a rental car and headed for Pettus. It took us a little over an hour to get home, and when we did, we were greeted with open arms by our families.
Just like we always did during the holidays, everyone ended up at the only café in town, the Dairy Queen. Shanna and I were sitting in a booth, catching up with a couple of guys I played football with in high school. They’d never left the tiny town, both working as guards at the nearby prison.
I hadn’t even noticed anyone coming into the place, but when a hand moved across my shoulders, I looked back to find Bianca. “Hey!”
“Hi,” she purred. Wearing a maroon jacket, her dark hair pulled up into a long ponytail, she looked just like she had back in high school. “When did you get here and how long are you staying, Nixon?”
“Today, and leaving the day after tomorrow,” I answered as she came around to stand at the end of the table.
The conversation at our table ceased as she ran her finger along my jaw. “I like the beard. It makes you look distinguished.”
I chuckled. “I was going for dangerous, but thanks.”
Her dark brown eyes cut to the side, looking out at the parking lot. “I was thinking about going to Charlie’s for a beer or two. Wanna take me?”
I sat perfectly still, unsure if I truly did want to take her. It was pretty easy to see she wanted me. And after all these years, that was a pleasant surprise.
Shanna jabbed me in the ribs as she whispered, “Are you crazy? Get the hell up and take her. I can walk home from here.”
There went my only excuse not to take Bianca to the bar.
The guys looked at me like I was insane for not jumping at the chance to be with one of the hottest chicks ever to grace our little hick town. But the fact was, I wasn’t jumping. And there was only one reason why.
Katana.
Before I could say a word, the bell on the door jingled, and this time I noticed it. When I looked to see who it was, a tall, decently built dude was heading our way. “Shit,” Bianca hissed. She walked toward him. “There you are. I was looking for you.”
He gave me a look before he looked back at her. “Come on.”
She glanced back at me and shrugged. “See you guys around.”
I’d missed my chance with her and knew it. I couldn’t say I actually cared, but Shanna seemed invested, as she waited until Bianca and her guy walked out before lighting into my ass. “Are you crazy, Nixon? You mooned over that girl all through junior high and high school. You said if she gave you half a chance you’d make her see God. Well, she just gave you a hell of lot more than half a damn chance. She was throwing herself at you, Bianca style.”
With a shake of my head, I said, “Did you not notice that she has a man, Shanna? Damn. I’m not about to get some redneck pissed off at me over a piece of ass.”
Plus, even before he walked in, I couldn’t seem to make myself get up and do it. Katana just kept flashing through my mind like a strobe light. I had to do something to get myself over the girl who obviously wanted nothing more to do with me. She had my number, and she had never called.
The fact was Katana had signed a paper that had had her promise not to contact any man she encountered at the club. But after Halloween, the Dungeon of Decorum was destroyed, destroying all that with it. Nothing could stop her from calling me if she wanted to. She wouldn’t be in trouble or get fined by the club.
So why didn’t she ever call?
The answer was simple. She didn’t want to.
Maybe I’d been too rough. Maybe I’d gone too far. Or maybe I hadn’t gone far enough or been rough enough. Who knew what the reason was.
Why should I care? I kept asking myself that question over and over again.
There wasn’t any reason for me to care why she hadn’t called.
As I sat there, sipping on my chocolate shake, a thought I’d never had before popped into my head. What if she had lost my card?
If I went back to Portland, I might be able to find her apartment building again. I had no idea what her address was, but I wasn’t opposed to knocking on every door until I found hers.
Suddenly I had a plan, a real plan to find her.
I got up, and Shanna looked at me in surprise. “Where’re you going now, Nixon?”
“Back to Mom and Dad’s. I know it’s noisy there and chaotic with all the nieces and nephews running around, but I need to visit them.
You want a ride to your parents’ place?”
She got up to come with me. After shaking hands with my old friends and wishing them well, we left, and I dropped Shanna off. I couldn’t help but feel excited about what I’d be doing as soon as we got back to L.A., and my plan began to get more and more detailed as the night went on.
Thanksgiving Day
The next afternoon Dad and I sat in the backyard, watching all the kids play. He opened the Yeti ice chest I’d bought him just that morning when we went shopping. He’d filled it up with beer and took a couple out, tossing one to me.
I popped the top on it and took a nice long drink. The cold brew felt good going down my parched throat. Although it was the end of November, the temperature hovered around ninety that day—pretty hot for Thanksgiving. I didn’t miss the South Texas heat one tiny bit.
“So, how’s it going out west, son?” Dad asked me, then took a drink of his beer.
“Great.” I put the bottle of beer between my legs to hold it steady as a football sailed in my direction. Catching it, I tossed it back to my oldest nephew.
“Any girls you like out there?” Dad asked me.
“One,” I found myself saying. “But she’s playing hard to get.”
“You’re not used to that, are you, son?” He winked at me.
“Not at all. But I’ve got a plan now.” I smiled then took another drink.
Tomorrow I’d start that little plan, and soon I’d have that sexy vixen right where I wanted her.
Chapter 10
Katana
Thanksgiving Day
I had never felt worse than I did on Thanksgiving as I waited for my turkey pot pie to cook in the oven. Normally I’d just nuke the thing, but it being a holiday that was celebrated with turkey, I gave it a bit more love and put it in the oven.
An acrid taste had plagued my mouth for over an hour, so I gave up trying to use water to get rid of it and went to brush my teeth again. While in the restroom, I noticed the unopened box of birth control pills that were sitting on the vanity. I hadn’t taken any in weeks, since my stomach had been giving me fits. But something compelled me to pick up the box and look at it.
When I opened it, I began to count how many I’d taken out of it. There’d been fourteen pills I knew I hadn’t taken. And those were there. There were three missing, but before those three there was a week’s worth that I hadn’t taken.
My heart stopped. I’d forgotten to take my pills during that crazy week. The week right before I was with Nix.
I dropped to my knees, which had suddenly gone weak, and looked up. “Lord, please don’t let this be what I think it is.”
Shaking, I got up and went into my bedroom to grab my purse and car keys. The smell of the turkey pot pie had me going to turn the oven off before leaving the pie behind and going to go to the store.
As I drove around town, I found most places were closed for the holiday, but I did manage to find a convenience store and was lucky enough to find a pregnancy test.
When I took it to the checkout, the clerk scanned it then asked, “Congratulations?”
A shake of my head told her that was not the case. Not at all. I couldn’t speak—I thought I might just burst into tears if I tried. I quickly grabbed my purchase and went back home.
There were two sticks in the package, and I took one and headed to the bathroom. Once all set and ready to go, I found I couldn’t. I was dry as a bone.
Back I went to the kitchen to drink copious amounts of water. My stomach felt like it was floating in deep water, yet I still couldn’t pee. I guess my nerves had shut things down.
Digging through my purse, I found the business card Nixon had given me. I just stared at it for the longest time. “I’m so sorry, Nix. I didn’t do this on purpose.”
If I am pregnant, should I tell him about it?
Did he have to know? He’d made sure to ask me about birth control before we ever did a thing and I had told him I’d taken care of it. I hadn’t meant to lie about it—I thought I had been telling the truth.
That damn busy as hell week was to blame for this!
I sat at the kitchen table, my head in my hands as I stared at the card on the table, his name staring a hole in me. Nixon Slaughter, my baby’s father’s name.
I shook my head back and forth—I had to stop thinking like that. I couldn’t hold him accountable for this. I couldn’t do that to the man. He didn’t deserve that.
What did he deserve?
Did he deserve to know if he was going to be a father? Did he deserve the right to make his own decision about what part he wanted or didn’t want to play in his child’s life?
I knew the answer to those questions. I wasn’t without morals. I had never known my father. My mother had often said she had no idea who it was. Being a bastard child wasn’t a thing I’d want for my son or daughter.
But I was getting ahead of myself. I had to take the test before I could totally freak out—though I was pretty sure I already knew what the result would be.
I would tell Nix if the test came back positive. I wasn’t heartless. But I wouldn’t ask him for a thing. He could do for the child whatever he wanted. He could see it or not. Whatever he wanted.
All of this was my fault, and I’d carry the burden alone if I had to.
My phone rang, jerking me back to reality. Blyss’s name popped up on my screen, and I answered it, my voice shaky. “Hello, Blyss. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You sound bad. What’s wrong, Katana?” She knew me better than most people did.
“Oh, nothing,” I lied. “How are the kids enjoying their yummy Thanksgiving dinner?”
“They hate it. No kid likes a meal that’s half vegetable-based sides. Troy made a homemade pepperoni pizza for them. He’s the best dad ever,” she gushed. “But enough about us, how about you? What are you doing to celebrate this day?”
God, I couldn’t tell her I was going to maybe eat a pot pie that came out of a box—and that was the best I could expect of my night at this point. I couldn’t tell her that it all depended on the results of the pregnancy test, because I knew I wouldn’t have an appetite if it was positive.
“Oh, not much,” I finally said. “Just working.”
“Please tell me you and a couple of friends went to eat somewhere. Please tell me you’re just coming in from a fun time and are now chilling because you’re so full,” she begged me.
Oh, how I wish I could tell her those things. “I wanted to stay in. I haven’t felt well in a couple of weeks. I think I have a bug or something,” I told her. That was the truth after all. I had thought that up until a short time ago.
“No one gets a bug for a few weeks,” she griped at me. “You need to go to the doctor as soon as possible. Is there a non-emergency care facility open near you today? You should go today if possible. That’s much too long to be sick, Katana.”
She might be right. I certainly would go see someone if the test came back negative—and I guess I’d be going to the doctor if it came back positive, too. “I’m not sure if there is anything open other than the emergency room at the hospital. I don’t think this constitutes an emergency. I don’t always feel bad. I’m tired all the time and have no appetite. I’ve made myself eat little bits here and there, but sometimes it comes back up.”
“Are you drinking water?” she asked. “Because you need to drink lots of it. Even if it just comes back up, you need to keep drinking it. And you said this has been going on for a couple of weeks?”
“Yes.” I didn’t want to tell her about it, but I’d lost five pounds in the week following Halloween, and I’d lost five more in last five days. My ribs were beginning to show, as were my hipbones.
Then she gave me some helpful advice. “You need to get those drinks that elderly people drink to keep their nutrients up.”
“Oh, I forgot about those things. My foster parents, Mr. and Mrs. Baker, used to drink those. I recall liking them when I tasted them once. I got in trouble for
doing that, but at least I know I like them.” Sitting back, I put my hand on my stomach, as if I would even be able to feel a tiny little embryo at that point if I was preggo.
I wasn’t a kid. At twenty-four, I felt mature enough to have a child. Things would work great with my job, so I could stay home to raise him or her. There wasn’t much to fear. Except having to do it all alone.
Would Nix want to be there for the baby? Would he want to be there for me?
“You should go out and buy some of those right away. If you’ve been sick that long I bet you’re losing weight, aren’t you?” Blyss asked with a knowing tone in her voice.
“A little. I promise I’ll pick some up. And I’ll go to the doctor.” I would do that, one way or the other. If I was knocked up, then I’d have to, and if not, then I’d have to see what the hell was wrong with me. It couldn’t just be depression.
I wasn’t sure if I even had depression. The only thing I was kind of sad about was Nix. I missed him every single day. But I knew time would take care of that. I couldn’t be feeling this bad over missing him. Could I?
And if it was that, then what could I do about it? Call him?
I’d told him I wouldn’t be doing that. I’d signed a contract stating that I’d never try to contact anyone I encountered at the club.
But the club was no more, as were all the contracts in their system, right? And did the contract really matter if he wanted to hear from me too? He hadn’t seemed opposed to the idea when we’d parted ways.
I made a pact with myself—if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d go to the doctor. If they couldn’t find a thing wrong with me, I’d give Nix a call and see if he wanted to come for a visit. Maybe I’d test the relationship waters with him if I found out he missed me the way I had missed him.
There were so many variables though.
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