"Hey." My voice breaks, not from any upset over the Bitches condition, I'm just overwhelmed by everything.
"Hey, hey what wrong? Is it Noah? Has he upset you cause if he has, tell him imma come down there, four hour drive or not and kick his ass."
I laugh at her outrage.
"No, he's not done anything. The Bitch has been in some sort of car accident."
"Well I know it's not that that’s got you upset. She still breathing?"
I don’t think I could love my bestfriend, my sister, anymore than I do in this moment. She understands, she gets me.
"Yeah, my Dad wants us to go to Atlanta and check on her. He doesn’t get it."
I say the last part on a whisper which turns Trina's voice from loud and over the top to soft and gentle.
"Maybe you should tell him so he does."
"No." I say, shaking my head furiously, even though she cant see me.
"Listen boo, I don’t know exactly what went down between you and your Mama and I'm not gonna pry, I figure you'll tell me when your ready. I do know, though, that it was bad. I remember how you turned up at my house that night."
I swallow the panic that’s clawing its way up my throat. I know what night she's talking about but I don’t want to hear about it. I'm almost tempted to cover my ears for my own sanity.
"I can't tell him."
"What about Noah? You gotta tell someone because it's not doing you no good keeping it all bottled in."
"I know."
I hear a loud sigh on the other end of the phone as my face is illuminated by bright headlights, causing me to squint. My mind feels like its ripping itself in half, torn between panic and relief. Panic that he's here and relief for the same exact reason.
"Listen Trina, I gotta go. I'll call you in a little bit ok."
"Wait, what?"
"Noah's here, I said I'll call you in a bit."
I quickly hang up on Trina and turn to the six foot hunk walking towards me, he looks mighty pissed.
"What the fuck Liv?!"
Yep definitely pissed.
"How the hell did you get here so quick?"
"I followed you."
Seriously, stalker much!
"You know when someone says they want to be alone, it usually means no other people around."
"I agree, you didn’t say you wanted to be alone though, you said you needed some air and the next thing I knew you were hightailing it down the street." I roll my eyes.
"Well I want to be alone."
"That’s just too damn bad then."
What the hell is wrong with him? Can't a girl get some alone time to get her head together?
"What's going on?"
I turn away from him, walking towards the gate. He's still right behind me, I can feel him. I can always feel when he's near, like a magnet. He walks right past me and holds the gate open for me. I don’t think I've even had chance to touch that damn gate ever since I first saw it, he's always opening it and closing it for me. Just as he does with doors and chairs and whatever the fuck else he can help me with. Usually I'd find it sweet and it'd give me the warm and fuzzies but I'm pissed the fuck off so everything he does just annoys me at the moment.
I hoomph past him, which he seems to totally ignore. I take a deep breath in, taking in that oh so lovely scent that goes through me. This is our place, the place where everything has happened. It's not lost on me that I just happened to pick this place to come in my time of need. I feel his hand on my shoulder as he gently directs me round to face him.
"What's up? Is it your Mom? I know that’s a silly question, of course it is. It's ok to be worried about her."
"That’s just it, I'm not." I let out a sardonic laugh. "Honestly, I couldn’t give a flying fuck if she'd broken every bone in her body. Fucked up huh?"
My statement obviously surprises him and for once Noah Travis seems to be speechless.
I park my ass on the damp grass, feeling the wetness seep through my jeans but I can't find it in me to care. Bringing my knees to my chest, I lean my head in my lap, taking in deep breaths.
I feel Noah crouching down to me as he eyes the wet floor, before I hear an "Oh fuck it." And am lifted up and onto his waiting lap. I can't help but curl into his chest, it's like a protective cocoon. His scent, Invictus by Paco Rabanne, comforts me. It’s the scent I most associate with him since he wears it all the time.
"What going on?" His voice is gentle and a near whisper.
The only reply is a shake of my head, I don’t want to talk about it, not now, not ever.
"Surely things between you and your Mom can't be that bad."
I snort at his naivety, he really has no idea.
"Tell me then. Talk to me Liv, please."
His plea hits somewhere inside of me and for the first time ever, I find myself opening up.
"When I was little I loved my Mom, all kids do. It's not something you learn to do, just something that’s automatically there from the moment you're born, you know? The older I got, the more I noticed the difference between my Mom and my friends Mothers. Most of the affection in my childhood came from my Dad. I'm not sure whether he did that to make up for the lack of it from the Bitch. She never cuddled me, never told me she loved me, never read me bedtime stories or tucked me in. I remember being about six years old and scraping my knee and I ran inside all red faced and sniffly from crying, my knee was all banged up, hurt like hell. She just looked at me and there was nothing there, no concern or panic or anything. My Dad walked in and straight away he was all over me, getting first aid kits and trying to make me laugh. She didn’t even move in inch. It just got worse the older I got. She was never like openly hostile or anything, not until my Dad left anyway. She just didn’t care and then when he left and she was stuck with me, a kid that she obviously didn’t want or care for, she just didn’t hide it anymore. So no, I don’t care that she had a car accident, I'm not worried that she was hurt, and yes things are that bad."
Noah stays silent, I suspect pondering my admission. He doesn’t know the full story, just basically the prologue to the fuckery that it is. I could never strike up the courage to tell him the full sordid mess. Unfortunately telling that would open a whole other can of words that I would much prefer be kept tightly sealed.
Chapter 16
Noah
I don’t know what to say, I can't help the feeling that she's missing something out though. I've realized with Liv that the best thing to do is wait until she's ready. My girl won't be pushed into revealing shit and you just gotta wait for her to open up. That’s the reason I haven't really brought up what Brandy said, Liv will tell me when she's ready.
As a kid that had a doting Mom and Dad, I can't even begin to understand what it's like to feel that a parent doesn’t love or care about you. I've seen Phil with her, she's the apple of his eye, anyone can see that. I've never met her Mom though and she doesn’t really talk about her all that much. Now I'm thinking about it, I don’t think I've seen or heard her talk to her Mom in the entire time she's been here. I don’t know if she has or not for definite of course, but we've been spending near enough every waking minute together.
I love the feel of her in my arms, all small and vulnerable, though I know she'd have my fucking balls if she knew I ever thought of her as vulnerable. I rub soothing circles along her back. I don’t want her thinking I haven't heard a word she's said or worse, that I don’t believe her. My Livs many things, all good by the way, one of the things she most definitely fucking isnt is a liar though. Hell, the girl can be too honest sometimes.
"I gotta be honest babe, I don’t know what to say. All I know is that you are the most amazing girl I've ever met and if she cant see that shit, well then it's her loss."
"I don’t see the point Noah, I don’t see the point of wasting my time in going to see someone, in pretending I care when she's never shown that same consideration for me. Hell, shes my mother for fucks sake. I know I don’t have kids but I know that as a
Mother your meant to fucking care. Even the biggest bitches in the world love their children, even the fucking women in the caves loved their children and they didn’t know shit about anything. All she cares about is herself so she can look after herself."
The more into her rant she gets, the more she tenses. I don’t know the ins and outs of this thing with her Mom, apart from the fact her Mom is fucking blind as a bat and a total dragon by the sounds of it, I think it would be a mistake for Liv not to go to Atlanta though.
"It's not like you’ve got school." She goes stiff as a board on that, shit, wrong thing to say. "What I mean to say is, it gets you out the house. Just go to see her, stay fucking five minutes if you cant stand to be around her for more than that and then come back. You could even drop in and see Trina while you're there and all your other friends."
She turns and gives me the stink eye.
"You’re a smart jack ass sometimes."
"Well if ever I've heard a backhanded compliment, that sure was one."
She breaks out the full smile at that and leans her head up, pressing her soft lips against mine. Most of our kisses are wild and untamed, as if we're trying to climb into each other's bodies by way of mouth. This one's different though, slow, gentle. I bite back the urge to make love to her right here and now, even though it kills me. I know the days gonna be coming soon when we don’t just stop at kisses, shit I don’t know how we've lasted this long without anything more happening as it is. I just know that this girl is my whole heart, even if I haven't told her that yet. Everything is going to be perfect, if I have my way, her life's gonna be filled with happiness and love.
"Come on, we better get back. I thought your Dad was gonna pitch a fit when you drove off."
I stand up, lifting her with me and keeping her in my arms. I'm not ready to put her down yet. I let out a silent thanks that I wore sweats because having her this near to me is making my boner stand at full mast. I can feel her tit squished against my chest and at this rate I'm gonna embarrass myself. Shit, I need to get a hold of myself and think of something else. Liv in the shower, no that’s making it worse. Brady in the shower, no Phil in the shower. Yep that’s a surefire way for it to go down. I can feel her chuckling against my chest.
"What's so funny?"
Did she feel it? And if she did, why the hell is that funny? Crap, I'm giving myself a complex here.
"You do realize you just said all of that out loud, right?"
"Fuck." I slap myself in the forehead. This girls gonna send me crazy, another seventy years of this and I'll be in a straitjacket.
***
I pull in behind Liv, breathing soundly for the first time since we left the field. I don’t know whether to thank God for her survival or wring her damn neck. I never noticed on the way there since I was too preoccupied with whether she was ok. That girl cant drive for shit though, how the fuck did she even get her license?
I get out of my car quickly so as I can open her door for her, what can I say, even when I'm pissed at her for endangering her life, I'm still a pretty stand up boyfriend. She smiles warmly at me as I look at her with what I'm sure is shock. How the fuck can she be all calm? She near enough gave me a heart attack just then with all her speeding round corners and shit.
"You good?" I ask. I'll wait to tan her ass for that stunt.
"Of course, you made me feel so much better."
She gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek, since we're outside the house and I've noticed the curtain twitch a few times.
Walking in, you'd think we'd been missing for days instead of just an hour. I should have really sent them a text to say I got her but I was too bothered with taking care of Liv to do that.
"Liv, where the hell did you go?" Phil ask, his hair looks like he's been pulling at it.
"I just needed some air." Livs voice is small. I know she doesn’t wanna be answering questions and she's definitely not gonna be telling her Dad what she told me, though how he doesn’t already know how his ex wife treats his daughter is anyone's guess.
"You don’t just storm out the house young lady."
"Sorry." She rolls her eyes, which has me stifling a chuckle.
"Pack your bags, I wanna be gone in the next hour, it's late."
"Ermmmmm NO." And there was me thinking we had made progress.
"What do you mean no? We have to go Liv, your Mother has been in a serious car accident."
"I mean I don’t care. If you care so much about the she-devil, you can go alone. Why the hell did they call here anyway? I doubt she asked."
Phil gives a nervous side look to my Mom before running his hand through his hair.
"I was still down on her records as her emergency contact."
"Phil, why would you be down?"
My Mom folds her arms and presses her lips together,
"She probably forgot to change it dear."
That seems to placate my Mom for now until Liv opens her mouth again.
"Oh really? You’ve been divorced five years and why would they call the house? Surely if she forgot to change it, they would have your old number or even your cell."
Phil looks towards me pleadingly but I just shrug, this is all on him. I don’t know why Livs Mom would have Phil as her emergency contact, though from the look in Liv's and my Mom's eyes, I'm pretty sure they have a pretty good idea.
"I think we should all go to Atlanta." My Mom says as Phil and Liv swiftly look her way.
"What about the kids School dear?"
"Its only one day." My Mom shrugs.
"What is this? A damn vacation?" Liv almost yells.
I put my hand to her lower back, silently letting her know I'm here and to calm down. The last time I saw her this mad, she ended up clocking someone in the nose so I think it's best to get the calming influence in early.
"What about the rat? Who's gonna take care of Sylvester?" Liv is throwing her hands up in the air at this point as both Phil and I cover our mouths to hide the smiles.
"I can ask Mrs Lewis across the street to take care of Sylvester. We're family Liv, we support each other, we should all go together. You can see your friend while your there and I know the boys have never been."
"Fine, let's all go. You wanna go and see your ex wife though, then you take Pam. I'm not stepping within ten feet of that hospital."
"Ok dear, you go and pack enough for three days, we'll probably stay till Sunday."
"Looks like Savannahs canceled, should have known that Bitch would find a way to ruin my weekend, even from two hundred miles away." Liv mumbles while stomping up the stairs.
I can't help but stare at her tight round ass as it goes up the stairs and can practically feel my boy downstairs rising up.
"I better go pack some things, Chase in his room? I'll let him know." I rush out, running up the stairs.
It's probably not the best of ideas staring at Livs ass and getting a hard on in front of my Mother and her Father. That was definitely a close call.
***
"I'm driving my own car." Liv shouts as she throws the two leopard print weekend bags into the trunk of Phil's white Land Rover Discovery Sport.
Well there's no way in hell she's driving, I've already witnessed her behind the fucking wheel and that was only a half hour drive on nearly deserted roads.
"How about I take Liv in my car? I don’t know if we'll all be able to fit in here with all the bags anyway."
Phil looks as if he's contemplating.
"Ok, sorry Liv but there's no way I'm risking you driving and escaping to State lines on the way."
"No way am I being left in a car with you two, I'll ride with Noah." Chase chimes in.
Well there goes my idea of having a chat with Liv on the way. Cant be talking with my fucking nosy ass little brother in the back. Liv must be thinking the same thing since she shoots me a smirk.
"Why are we leaving tonight anyway? We won't get there till like one in the morning." Liv says over her shoulder.
"Me and
Pam figured we would stick to the original idea when it was just you and me going. We'll go see your Mom in the morning and then you can go see Trina. Have you called her at all?"
"Yeah, she said they'll probably put off going to Savannah this weekend so I get longer with her. By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice your sly mention of going to the hospital tomorrow. Not. Gonna. Happen."
I do love my girls attitude, its fucking hot as hell.
Phil shuts the trunk and turns towards us.
"Ok kids, drive safe. We'll meet you at the hotel."
We're all seated in the car and on the main highway to Atlanta. Livs wearing some short ass skirt that’s riding up her thighs and I'm finding it really hard to ignore the exposed flesh and concentrate on the road in front. It'll be miracle if we're not the one in the hospital at the end of this road trip.
"Why are we staying at a hotel, don’t you have a house there?" Chase asks, actually dragging his eyes away from the screen of his phone.
I look towards Liv, wondering if she's going to answer since she's hardly spoken so far and any attempt at conversation on my part has been thwarted.
"It'd probably be a bit weird of my Dad to stay in the house of his ex wife with his new wife."
"Why aren't you staying in it then? You used to live there."
She turns around to look at Chase.
"I'd rather just stay in the hotel with you guys."
She gives him the first smile she's cracked in a while and a spark of jealousy runs through me that it wasn’t me that got the smile out of her. I quickly shake that away, it's stupid being jealous of my kid brother cause he got my girl to smile. Her hands are in knots on her lap and though she hasn’t really spoken, she hasn’t kept still.
"So what's there to do in Atlanta?" I ask, trying to start some kind of conversation.
"Not much really, a couple museums, a zoo, aquarium, you don’t really notice that stuff when you live there."
"Well what did you used to do?"
She seems thrown and uncomfortable at my question which piques my interest.
"Hang out, party, same stuff you do in Franklin."
Her reaction reminds me of what she said weeks ago, about having casual sex with most guys she meets. Just remembering that conversation has my hair standing on end. The thought of Liv with any other guy has me wanting to hit something and I just hope I don’t bump into any of these jackasses this weekend. I briefly wonder if that’s why she doesn’t wanna go back, if she's afraid of her past affecting the life she has now. Its stupid if she is, nothing could turn me off Liv. Of course, id be happy if no guy had so much as looked her way before but that would be total hypocritical. I know Livs not a virgin, I also know she has issues, which is why I haven't pushed the whole sex issue. I don’t want Liv to see me like she sees all of the other chumps in her past. This is permanent, we are permanent, even if she doesn’t completely realize it yet. I know I'm never letting her go, not next week, not next year, not in fucking fifty years.
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